Not telling my loved ones I'm trying to lose ...

LFA50

I'm just doing it. I want to see if my hard work pays off and see how long before before I get a comments on the way I look. I need to be accountable for myself - not be tempted by others saying "oh, just this once ..." and "you're working hard, you can have a piece of birthday cake" ... nor will I offer any excuses as in "I can't have a piece of cake (cookie, pie whatever) because I'm dieting"...not this time ..now it'll just be "no thank you" and if a piece is put in front of me anyways I will not touch it and not feel bad.

TheSatinPumpkin

Sounds good. Best wishes on your WOE.

besaro

i didn't tell anyone either, except my husband, cause, well, its pretty hard to do a 180 with your eating habits and keep it a secret from someone you share every meal with.

I didn't make a huge declaration with him either, just that i wanted to try and make some better choices and see what happens. Don't be disappointed if people either don't notice or don't comment, it could be for many reasons.

CWatson1994

im not telling anyone im trying to lose weight either. if I tell one person then my whole family knows. then everytime I see someone they ask me how its going and it makes it really hard. last time I told my mom and about 2 weeks later when I saw her she said I wasn't trying hard enough because I still looked fat. or I walk in her door and she asks me if im pregnant. so the only one that knows is my significant other because hes in the same boat I am. I have 80 lbs to loose and he has around 75lbs. Add me if youd like. I need motivation and seems you need some motivation too. ))

AndiSB1966

Good for you!! There is always someone who tries to sabotage you when they know what you are working towards. Stay strong!

bfergusonii

I didn't really tell anyone either. I think the compliments are much more genuine when someone doesn't know you are trying to lose weight.

Also don't be surprised if you don't get compliments for a while. It seems like I had to lose more then 20 pounds or so before anyone at all seemed to notice.

Hang in there.

jjejjtu

I think that's a GREAT idea. I have found it interesting that when people know I am trying to lose weight, they do things that stand in the way of my goal. If my mother-in-law knows I'm trying to lose weight, suddenly she has baked a cake "just because" and needs to drop half of it off at our house. If my husband knows I am trying to lose weight he will make my favorite thing for dinner and say, "Are you sure you don't want any? Are you sure? Just a little?" If I tell my acquaintances, they say, "Oh, it's so hard to lose weight."

Come to think of it, all of that is pretty *$&#-ed up. Why is no one supporting me? Who are these crazy people? Anyway, that is why I tell no one, except my husband because he can't help but notice what/how I'm eating. He is the main reason I have never been able to stay on a diet. This time around I have found MFP and love being able to talk to other people about weight loss. In the past I have had no support and always gave in to temptation. Hopefully being able to chat and meet people here will keep me on track.

So tell no one outside of MFP, because you will find support here.

LFA50

I haven't said anything to my boyfriend ... he sees the efforts I'm putting in with my workouts and exercise comes first now - I'll meet him for a drink AFTER I work out ... and I'm asking him to prepare his own meals more often now as I am pretty much doing salads every night (though I do encourage him to have salads with me). He sees my efforts, but hasn't commented on them and that's fine. He did try to get me to eat some of his pork chop last night and I wouldn't. He said he was going to put it on top of my salad and I said well if you do it'll just end up being thrown out so you might as well eat it and he did.

MarziPanda95

Good idea, I wish I hadn't told anyone. I didn't look like I'd lost any until 20 pounds in, so I got the 'are you even trying' and 'why are you eating that on a diet'. Excuse you, but as long as it fits into my calorie goal it's fine. But now I think I may finally look slimmer, but I don't know for sure because at the same time some people are too nice! If they know I've been trying hard to lose weight I think maybe they exaggerate how different I look... so it's harder to get an objective opinion. Good luck with your loss!

LFA50

Come to think of it, all of that is pretty *$&#-ed up. Why is no one supporting me? Who are these crazy people? Anyway, that is why I tell no one, except my husband because he can't help but notice what/how I'm eating. He is the main reason I have never been able to stay on a diet. This time around I have found MFP and love being able to talk to other people about weight loss. In the past I have had no support and always gave in to temptation. Hopefully being able to chat and meet people here will keep me on track.

So tell no one outside of MFP, because you will find support here.

yes, it's pretty messed up that we can't get support from loved ones - or then there's people like my sister who calculate and announce the calorie content of everything I eat when I don't even ask ! I think my boyfriend's influence is part of the reason I've gained weight ...he loves and has cookies and other sweets in the house, on weekends he comes home with egg souflees, bagels and overly sweetened Dunkin Donuts coffees ...he means well and he's being sweet and generous so it's hard to say no ... but I gotta just stick to my own plan for awhile. My other goal, besides being healther, fitter and thinner, is to try to subtely influence my boyfriend from some of his bad eating habits !

gbklvr

I think in a weird way people like the way things are and any change they resist. Especially if you are trying to do something good for yourself. Maybe it's that misery loves company thing.

BigLifter10

I think in a weird way people like the way things are and any change they resist. Especially if you are trying to do something good for yourself. Maybe it's that misery loves company thing.

YUP. My mother is overweight, so is my sister and they do their best to encourage me to have whatever they have when I visit. Would think they would know by now, but just because they can't seem to make it work, does not mean that I can't or won't. I REFUSE to be like they are. I'm sure it annoys, particularly mother, to no end. Growing up she would always badmouth people who tried to do something for themselves.

MisterZ33

a few weeks ago i was at a kids b-day party and my friend's wife tells me that it looks like i lost weight. later,i was eating ice cream at and she goes, "well that wont help you..."

i wanted to b**** slap her across her head. she's always putting her husband down and how dare she think she can get away with it with me. she and her husband go on these idiotic diet fads every so often and end up gaining all the weight back within months. my wife stuck up for me and told her that my lifestyle change isnt a hocus pocus diet and that in order for me to live my life, he likes to eat what he wants to eat. no restriction but self control.

she didnt say anything, but she's the type that is probably waiting for me to fail. dont hold your breath.

a big thumbs up to my wife for the save. i showed her my appreciation afterwards

jessiruthica

I've told friends at work because I can't not talk about the changes in my life. But I haven't said anything about it on Facebook. Instead, I'm relying on MFP for a community during the process. Some of it is a fear of failure - I don't want to post "hey, I'm on a health kick" and then not do anything about it. Here, I've found a community that will support me and kick my butt if necessary.

Having said that, I'm really looking forward to "big reveal" posts on FB. How attention-seeking is that?!?

NextPage

I`m mostly keeping it to myself for a variety of reasons - I think it is personal and I don`t expect everyone to find it fascinating conversation:laugh: I am on MFP because people here are on a similar journey.

However, my partner needed to know. The man gets up at 5:30 am. so he can drive me to the gym so I can do morning workouts, eventhough his schedule allows him to work out later in the day. We have a pact to stay fit, fab and grow old together but not everyone in my life is as supportive. Some comment that I shouldn`t bother fighting the family genes which is find of funny since some of my family isn`t overweight at all (perhaps they were adopted!).

tabicatinthehat

Pretty much only my best friend knows what I'm up to. I don't tell my family. They try to find ways to make fun of healthy people.

rosanna88_

I'm with you. Good luck!