A letter to my brother - real answers to weight loss

AShannon54

My brother approached me this weekend and asked me about my weight loss. I walked away not feeling very satisfied with the discussion and I felt guilty for not having been honest with him on how I really felt. So I just emailed him this and I thought it might be helpful to others...

Hi Tom,

I thought you might like enjoy this article. I read this early on in my weight loss journey and it made me look at the bigger picture with a long term mind set –

http://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/preparing-mentally-for-weight-loss.aspx?pos=1&xid=nl_EverydayHealthHealthyLiving_20140930


Here are the bullet points that were most impactful to me (although all 10 have good points and you should read the full article) –
1. Commit,
2. Make a plan,
4. Get in the right mindset,
7. Figure out what motivates you,
8. Don't think diet, think life change!


Many people ask me about my weight loss and I feel guilty that I don’t have awesome answers prepared. Typically questions focus on the ‘micros’ and not the ‘macros’. By that I mean we focus on a small point on my journey (what exercises am I doing?, what am I eating?, how much have I lost?). Before any of that though, I had to take a hard look at my life and my lifestyle and figured out the ‘why’ before the ‘how’.

As far as diet and exercise is concerned, what works for me probably will not to work for someone else. People can be successful with completely different methods. However, what all successfully people have in common is resolve and determination.

To make a commitment and stay strong you will need to ask yourself, ‘Why do I want to lose weight?’ This seems like a simple question but it’s not. You have to find the real answer to that and when you feel weak (I want to eat this really unhealthy thing or I don’t want to work out) you focus about your ‘why’ to stay strong.

Here is a common question I get – “what did you take out of your diet that helped you lose weight quickly”. I am usually polite and say something like milk or reduce carbs but that is not the real answer. The blunt and uncomfortable answer is ‘excuses’. I had many excuses that seemed legitimate – I work a lot, eating healthy is expensive, it’s too hot/cold outside to work out and I don’t have time or money to go to a gym. When I was really ready to make a change in my life I stopped making excuse and found ways to get it done.

Sorry for the rant, I am just passionate about my journey! I try not to be evangelistic about weight loss but if someone truly wants my personal advice I want to have open and honest answers instead of the fluffy BS that won’t really make a difference to them.

jennifurballs

Excellent!

wyattj99

Very good! But we shouldn't have to explain ourselves if they are not really interested. Your brother my be but I have had conversations with ppl and they want the easy way out so I no longer feel I have to explain myself just short answers. Lifestyle change - No DIET!

stacyjh1979

Here is a common question I get – “what did you take out of your diet that helped you lose weight quickly”. I am usually polite and say something like milk or reduce carbs but that is not the real answer. The blunt and uncomfortable answer is ‘excuses

LOVE this! Well said! I think most people ask in hopes of finding out what the silver bullet of weight loss is and the truth is there isn't one. Do or don't do, there is no "try." I'm sure your brother probably legitimately cares about you but many people don't even want to hear the truth. If we don't have a magic answer they really aren't interested in knowing anything more.

AShannon54

Here is a common question I get – “what did you take out of your diet that helped you lose weight quickly”. I am usually polite and say something like milk or reduce carbs but that is not the real answer. The blunt and uncomfortable answer is ‘excuses

LOVE this! Well said! I think most people ask in hopes of finding out what the silver bullet of weight loss is and the truth is there isn't one. Do or don't do, there is no "try." I'm sure your brother probably legitimately cares about you but many people don't even want to hear the truth. If we don't have a magic answer they really aren't interested in knowing anything more.

I totally agree! I find many times there is just the small talk for the people who are making nice comments about your weight loss and then there are times when people really want to know 'how do you do it?'. I don't have the 'silver bullet' answer they are looking for and I get a bit sad when their eyes start to glaze over when you start to digress on a longer more useful conversation.

Stogie40

Well said. I couldn't have said it better myself.

AShannon54

Well said. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Thank you. I like to help people and I hope sharing my thoughts does.

yankeedownsouth

Here is a common question I get – “what did you take out of your diet that helped you lose weight quickly”. I am usually polite and say something like milk or reduce carbs but that is not the real answer. The blunt and uncomfortable answer is ‘excuses’. I had many excuses that seemed legitimate – I work a lot, eating healthy is expensive, it’s too hot/cold outside to work out and I don’t have time or money to go to a gym. When I was really ready to make a change in my life I stopped making excuse and found ways to get it done.

Love the whole thing, but especially this. What a great thread!

Artionis

Amazing! This OP should be required reading for weight loss 101. The part about giving up excuses is so very insightful, thoughtful, blunt, realistic, genuine and all the other positive adjectives I can think of.

Thank you for this deeply honest post.

meridianova

LOVED that response! i know a lot of people focused on the "i gave up excuses" part, but something else in your email really struck me:

As far as diet and exercise is concerned, what works for me probably will not to work for someone else. People can be successful with completely different methods. However, what all successfully people have in common is resolve and determination.

i think this is something a lot of people lose sight of, especially on a board like this that caters to people using a variety of weight loss plans. i see so many people with the attitude of "oh this is easy, just do what i did", and they forget to realize that everyone is not the same. we all have individual biological quirks that make it easier or harder to lose weight. sometimes those quirks are strong enough that trying to lose weight "your" way won't work, and we have to go find another option.

there are few things in life more demoralizing than being told that something you're struggling with is "easy", and you're to blame for your body not responding the same way someone else's did.

so while it's fine to say "here's what i did", i'm glad to see that you followed that thought with "your mileage may vary."