What if she's right?

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2

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  • Debbjones
    Debbjones Posts: 278 Member
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    [/quote]
    :huh: sweetheart...she's wrong.
    :flowerforyou:

    But she's your mom & she knows what she knows :ohwell: I got one o' them too :blushing:
    [/quote]

    Trust me, your Mom couldn't be more wrong. I looked exactly like my mother... until I lost 90 pounds. Sure, if you choose to believe her, it will come to pass but her choices are not your choices... you make your own future and destiny. You will only be the image of your mother if you make that choice. It is not a genetic fact!

    Love your Mom, after all she is your Mom, but this is your choice... not hers! :-)


    Don't know what happened to my quotes... I am not trying to "plagiarize" the member above... :-)
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
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    I feel sad for you that your mom makes those comments and makes you feel down, that seems so wrong! Ultimately you can't let her words get to you though. Don't let her insecurities become yours.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    I love my mom but I've wondered this too. I used to think it was impossible for our family to get thin, let alone stay thin. I'm determined though!
  • arussell134
    arussell134 Posts: 463 Member
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    She's only as right as you allow her to be.

    This, absolutely. Don't allow her to be.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    If you think she's right - she will be. But if you think she's wrong - she will be.

    It's all up to you, sugar.

    ^^^ This

    ❤️
  • almartini11
    almartini11 Posts: 35
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    When you get a flat tire do you immediately circle your car and slash the other three tires? Of course not! Just because you've hit one set back doesn't mean you throw it all away. She's only as right as you let her be!
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
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    I love my mom but I've wondered this too. I used to think it was impossible for our family to get thin, let alone stay thin. I'm determined though!

    This right here is what it feels like for me. My Mum and Grandma are the same, everyone always jokes that I'm looking at my future, it hurts (which makes me feel guilty too, for judging them I guess), but it makes me dig my heels in more :)
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
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    You are 35yrs old (according to your profile). How long are you going to let your Mum be the boss of you?
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
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    You are your own person.

    Step out of your Mother's shadow and BE that person that YOU want to be.

    I'm 48 and in better shape - and thinner- than I was 20 years ago (I have one child - a daughter who's almost 16).

    My Mother never worked out -

    I am not my Mother.
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
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    Mommy's do know best, but some times even they too are wrong.

    Either you are the same size or you are not. If her clothes are too big for you then you obviously are not the same size.

    Stop letting her get into your head, and take control of you own mind.
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
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    What if she isn't? You decide.
  • shai74
    shai74 Posts: 512 Member
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    My mum is 5' and I'm 5'9" and yet she said to me a few years ago "you need to watch your weight, you weigh more than me now". Yes ... thank you mum, my BMI is alot lower than yours though ...

    My dad is one of 11 siblings. 9 of the 11 have type 2 diabetes, heart disease and are big. Why? Genetic predisposition? Yes. 60 years of poor diet and little exercise? Definitely. My sister had a heart attack and died 2 years ago at 37. She was a really big girl. She was also intellectually handicapped, and everyone thought it was best to just let her stuff her face for 37 years because it made her happy.

    We all got family baggage. We can continue the pattern based on behaviours and attitudes we've learned from them, or we can be responsible for our own outcomes. Pretty simple really. I am not prepared to be on deaths door at 60 due to ill health and blame it on genetics. No matter what ****ty genetic card you got dealt, you will still have a better quality of life if you eat well and live well.
  • blossomingbutterfly
    blossomingbutterfly Posts: 743 Member
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    She's only as right as you allow her to be.

    This.
  • PokeyBug
    PokeyBug Posts: 482 Member
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    She's so wrong. Your genetics are what they are. You might have a genetic predisposition to something like obesity, but that doesn't mean that it's inevitable. My siblings and I are great examples of this. Our father had diabetes, which means that each of his three kids have a predisposition. Only one of us has developed diabetes -- the sister who doesn't worry about diet or exercise. It's only a self-fulfilling prophecy if YOU decide it will be. Don't let her bring you down.
  • brewinggirl_butskinnier
    brewinggirl_butskinnier Posts: 108 Member
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    Well since I believe that the majority of people got overweight because of habits, rather than genetics, I'd have to say she's WRONG.


    Regardless though...I'm having a hard time understanding how making such breathtakingly un-supportive comments would be something a loving parent would do. Sounds very toxic to me...is she like this in other ways? Clearly there's some bitterness or jealousy or something going on (and hey we all have our moments) but a good parent doesn't let that project onto their children.

    Perhaps you should put some of her clothes on. Then show her how they don't fit. Then...distance. And I'm sorry.
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
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    My Mom used to be very thin before she had kids. She had a beautiful figure. She had children and must have decided to give up because she refuses to exercise and eats way too much and looks kind of terrible. I feel awful saying that, but it's true. It scares me for my future.
    Two summers ago, I was taking an early morning beach bootcamp with a friend and was taking it very seriously. My mom asked me why I bothered because I am just going to end up looking like her anyway.

    She also talks about how she and I are the same size (we aren't even close in size. At least 3 sizes apart). She is constantly trying to get me to go in her closet and find something else to wear.

    It really hurts my self esteem, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering..what if she's right?

    What if I am doing all this work for nothing, just to end up looking like her?





    News flash! Your mother is WRONG!

    Don't let that negative nelly into your head.

    Taking care of yourself is something you do to stay healthy. It is something you do for you and nobody else. You don't want the diseases that come with being overweight.

    Guess what else? You are worth every ounce of effort you put into it, AND THEN SOME.

    Don't let your mother dictate who you are and who you want to become. You are your own boss.
  • Artionis
    Artionis Posts: 105 Member
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    Even people we love (moms) can say very destructive, hurtful things. Wouldn't it have wonderful if your mom had said something like, "Sweetheart, don't ever get to be my size. Do your exercises and eat healthy, don't make the mistakes I did." Bummer that your mom wasn't up to that. On some weird level, predicting an unhealthy future for you validates her own failures. Would you ever predict such a negative future for your own daughter? Hell, no!

    Just accept that your mom has her limitations, be sorry for her that she's so pathetic and wants company in the pathetic club, and don't let her negativity affect you in the least. Find other role models, like the many success stories here. Here are two lines from the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley for you:

    I am the master of my fate
    I am the captain of my soul.

    Repeat them daily.
  • La5Vega5Girl
    La5Vega5Girl Posts: 709 Member
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    your mom is jealous of your hard work and KNOWS that you will end up NOT looking like her and that scares her. be supportive of her, try to get her to exercise or go to the bootcamps with you if you go. moms are just little girls at heart. (trust me, i am one) :heart:
  • SingRunTing
    SingRunTing Posts: 2,604 Member
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    As you age, it gets harder because you're metabolism slows down some, so your calorie allotment has to decrease to compensate. But, if you're still working hard and paying attention to your intake, you most certainly don't have to gain all kinds of weight in your later years. So, no, you are not destined to be just like your mother.

    As far as thinking you are the same size, she's just in denial. Many overweight people don't realize how big they truly are. That's why they continue to gain. That's also why a lot of bigger people hate getting their picture taken. They don't realize how big they are and the picture doesn't lie. I know that was true for me.
  • galprincess
    galprincess Posts: 682 Member
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    OK my mum has 4 children we are same height and before children were both tiny she went on to have 4 children in 3 pregnancies( my sis and I twins) well I have 3 hers were small babies mine were huge she had us at 34 I had my last at 28 and im done my smallest baby weighed almost 1lb more than her biggest she ended up 14-16 (uk) im 10-12(uk) she yo-yoed and smoked I don't yo yo or smoke so yes genetics are part of it but your lifestyle foods etc are different they do factor in, what if you do end up the same size but shes got a higher body fat percentage you wont look the same size you m8ight weigh the same. What if by taking on a healthy lifestyle your way means you wont? if it was me id want to be the healthiest me I could be regardless of size genetics etc and so that mindset is different to your mums what you got to lose other than proving your healthier?

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