let's hope I can find a good motivator this time around

rebekahcollins3

I was on about a year ago looking for people to be friends and in turn motivate one another for weight loss and no one responded. QQ me right, whatever.
Anyways im hoping that I can repost and hope to find some good motivating buddies.

My name is Becky, I am 33 years old, will be 34 next month. I started my weight loss back in 2006 in which I weighed 225 lbs.
I hated myself and am still battling through the depression that I had with it. I have been big all my life. I have type2 uncontrolled unmedicated diabetes. I also have unmedicated high blood pressure and high cholestrol. When I first started my weight loss journey I worked out at a gym, managed to lose 25 lbs, but got discouraged with that as the place I went, it was not okay to be big, it was ran by skinny people and all that came there was skinny people, and they made me feel very unwelcome there. But I continued on the healthier way of eating and eventually got down to 175 lbs. Then I came to a stand still. I couldn't lose weight, no matter what I did.
My health then took a turn for the worse. I was diagnosed with a severe gastric ulcer which caused me to lose 30 lbs. I was down to 145 lbs and I was loving it. I mean yeah it wasn't the best way to lose weight but the lbs were off. with the diet changes and still not having very much of an apetite I got all the way down to 125 lbs. Then down to 120. I was so happy. So many people tried to bring me down, still calling me names because I still had all this loose skin from the rapid weight loss, that no body really believed me that I weighed 120 lbs.
But I felt great, I didn't let peoples words bother me, or so I thought.
I kept the weight off for over 2 years. I was happy, or so I thought.
Then it was like I became invisible to my husband. He no longer made comments to me, and our relationship started changing for the worse, my depression got really bad. I hadn't gained any of the weight back, so I couldn't understand what was going on.
One day I just decided to stop getting dressed. that I would just wear my bed clothes all day. Would he notice me then. I thought he would, but no.
So then I started eating my depression away. I wasnt caring how much I ate or what I ate. I was giving into my cravings of chocolate and I couldnt stop eating. I didnt want to stop eating. I just wanted the pain to go away. Did that make him start noticing me again, no. In fact when I told him I gained weight, he said he didn't notice. and that stung bad. and then I got really mad at myself cause I was starting to get so big I couldnt fit into any of my cute clothes anymore.
So i am trying to make the change again. I am trying to get back in shape. But I can't do it alone. I need someone anyone, to just give me purpose.

Hi, my name is Becky, and yes I am depressed and yes I do have dependant personality disorder and other issues. I am a married mother of 2 autisitic children and I need a friend.
So if I haven't scared you off by now with all of my depression talking. would you be my friend?

Im sorry

lillyrose2020

Sorry you are having such a hard time, I can't relate to what you are going through but I am sure there are plenty of people on here that can.
I hope that you're getting support professionally to deal with the depression so it does not consume you
Nobody wants to go through anything alone so you should not apologise for reaching out

PRMinx

You are the only motivator you need. Don't rely on other people to make this work - you will be thoroughly disappointed most of the time.

If you can, you might find it beneficial to speak with a counselor about your depression. I'm sure there are resources through autism groups to help you find one that understands the unique challenges and stressed you face with your children.

Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:

BusyB223

Hi Becky, I'm Lisa.

I would like to be your friend. I will send you a request and we can take it from there. I have some pretty cool supportive MFP's whom you may find to be just as supportive for you.

I am not an expert on anything yet but I have a pretty good take on health & nutrition. We can do it together. It's a Lifestyle Change for me so I will be at this however long it takes.

christashay

First of all, unmedicated, untreated, serious health issues like type2 diabetes, high bp, high cholesterol may be a huge, HUGE, part of the depression. If you are not regulating your blood sugars and getting some basis of control w/ medicine AND diet, this probably won't work out to your advantage. As someone who's done the diabetes thing and spent 6 yrs working with the mentally ill, I'm asking you to please seek medical advice. Then you will know your best options regarding nutrition and know how to move forward to meet your goals. And I'd say, if you get straight your relationship w/ your husband will improve too.