Late 20s Male, Low T, and possible Eating Disorder?

Jmac2426

Hello everyone. Bit of a long post so i apologize--

I used this site a while ago to lose some weight. (lost previous login/email so can't find old account).

I do not think i was necessarily overweight but I made the transition from college to "working professional" and was showing a bit of a belly fat as a result. Using MFP I was able to drop down from about 178 to 150 without too much trouble. It took some time and discipline (a lot) but the results were worth it. I was feeling lean and was able to do body weight exercises like never before (muscle ups, levers, pistol squats, etc).

However, i kept trying to lose "just a few more lbs" and eventually dropped to 136lbs... not entirely on purpose. As a 5'9 male, i felt i was definitely too skinny. My health began to suffer as a result. At this time i was feeling horrible-- I felt ill all the time and was very tired. I was extremely irritable, fogggy, sleepy, etc.

I went to the Dr and there were a number of issues with my blood work. Most notable, I had extremely low testosterone (in the mid 100s for a 28 year old male). i also had a very low heart rate and i think some other enzymes were off.

At this time i deemed my overall health and relationships were much more important than how i looked, my weight and my very minor athletic competitions. I stopped using MFP and pretty much just ate what I want. After about 6 months just about all my problems went away. Everything was fine except I still had Low T. I stuck with it and my last Dr. visit showed i'm just about back to normal.

This is great and if you know anything about some of the effects of Low T, you'll understand why my significant other has been VERY happy with the results (she is a very patient and wonderful woman). I'm pretty much now back to my original starting weight (maybe a few pounds lighter) and have been getting back into my more athletic pursuits--running races, biking, rock climbing, etc...i'm also hoping to lose some weight again, while keeping a VERY watchful eye on my overall health.

It's been about two months. I've felt pretty great working out. But now that everything is essentially normal i've realized i developed one really nasty problem. I think i have an eating disorder.

I'm not sure exactly what caused it or when it started. I started binge eating when I stopped using MFP. I figured it would be a phase and i would have to remind my body how to eat intuitively. I didnt guilt myself or anyting like that. i didn't give it too much thought because i was so focused on just getting healthy.

But it didn't improve. Once i realized how bad the binges were getting i began making myself vomit. I do this about half the time. At the worst, i'd say i would binge maybe 2 days per week and try to "return" the calories on maybe one of those 2 days.

I realized this was extremely unhealthy and it was scary to think that i had let myself become so uncontrollable. I spoke to my Dr about it and they mentioned hormones have a very profound effect on the body and i could have some metabolic issues, especially dealing with carbs, insulin resistance, glycemic functions and other things like that. They indicated that since i'm still a bit on the low side for testosterone for my age it might take time until my internal systems are actually returned to normal. However, they felt it was probably more of a mental issue and recommended that if i can't get in control to speak to someone who could counsel me. My Dr. performed a very minimal evaluation--asking me questions about stress, relationships, and things like that. He didn't think i had any significant indicators of someone suffering from a mental disorder but also told me not to rule it out. Basically, it is up to me.

It took me a while to reach the point where i have admitted this is an actual issue. I was in denial for a bit and it scared me, especially being a very athletic young male. It was hard to admit that i have an eating disorder.

I've started using MFP again and when i can avoid binges for a few days--it works. I calculated my calories to a deficit resulting in an approx loss of 1.25lb per week. I have no problem eating clean. In fact, i like eating eating healthy.

.... But after 2 weeks in a row healthy eating, i found myself again running to the grocery store this morning for a bunch of junk food (no doubt caused by the onslaught of delicious pumpkin themed desserts EVERYWHERE I GO!). After stuffing myself until the point where i felt sick... i realized i could really use some advice.

I'm at the point where if i take one bite of something sweet-i feel like my body goes into overdrive and i need to start stuffing my face. Even if i don't have a bite of something, sometimes i'll just wake up in the morning and the FIRST thought that pops into my head will be..."GUMMY WORMS" and it is seriously an all day fight. About 1/2 the time i give in and it starts a binge.

I made a follow up appt with my Dr. to get some blood work done to see where we're at in my Low T treatment. I was then going to ask for a possible referral to someone who could help me with a possible eating disorder. Is this a good idea?

From here-I definitely still want to drop some weight. I would love to be back in the low 150s. That is when i felt my best. I do some endurance type competitions and being at a lower weight definitely improved my performance--so my goals arent purely superficial.

However, first and foremost--i feel like i need to get out of this cycle. I want to make sure i'm mentally and physically fit.

I think right now--I am just wondering if anyone could offer any insight? I've read a ton on eating disorders and the like so i'm not really looking for general advice in that regard. i've read countless tips and heard plenty of little tricks. But i'm really curious if there is anyone here who knows of anyone who had a similar experience with hormonal issues.

I think for my male pride i'd be really happy to hear that his has happened to other young men but even my Dr. admitted when he reviewed my charts before he had met me, he was expecting someone in there 60s or 70s (not sure how he missed my birth date on that same chart?)

It has been hard typing this as this has been a been a pretty significant source of embarrassment for me. I have hinted/joked about my weakness for sugar/junk foods to others but never seriously admitted anything until recently. I really appreciate any and all responses.

Thank you,

John

JessRaddatz

It is definitely a step in the right direction realizing you have a problem and you need professional help. I think asking for a referral from your primary Dr. is a good idea. You can get through this and you will be stronger for it. Good luck with your journey.

Graelwyn75

I know you are certainly not alone in terms of the eating disorder as I have come across several males on this site who are either going through one or have had one in the past. It is definitely something to get dealt with as it can become very consuming and addictive, binge eating and purging. Sometimes it can be caused by losing weight too rapidly, and with too much restriction, setting your brain up to want everything at once in case you cannot have it again once you return to 'clean' eating styles. Simply taking a diet mentality can trigger a binge cycle, so it is much better to try and find a way to just incorporate small treats into your days, maybe like dessert after dinner, but only buy individual desserts daily. Or you can, I suppose, try eliminating all sugary, junky foods but that can rebound at a future date. It is tough. I speak from experience as I have the same sort of issues as you.

Jmac2426

Graelwyn thanks for the reply and honesty. Briefly reading through your profile made me think we are a lot alike. It is amazing at how adults struggle with things that we essentially mastered as toddlers...

I think incorporating the small desserts and treats only make things worse. I tried that for a few weeks it just resulted in more varied cravings. Upping my caloric intake and other little modifications like that had similar results.

To be fair, i've pretty much always had more of a binge type mentality. I was a college athlete and remember knocking out bags and bags of m&ms bowls and soda on a weekly basis. I'm afraid i've never had much restraint when it comes to junk food. In the past i always had the activity level and metabolic rate to offset my lack of dietary understanding. Now, time and other health concerns have complicated that situation.

But i think you might be on to something with that 'diet mentality' idea.

When i was at my lowest in terms of testosterone, i had no energy. Cramming myself full of glycemic wonderfoods like candy bars and jelly beans would give me such a quick boost of energy I'm afraid it further reinforced the idea of sweets in my brain. I've read plenty of interesting things about the addiction levels of sugar and the way food affects the reward centers of the brain. It seems very relevant to what i'm going through. But i was hoping these types of feelings would begin to dissipate the more i heal.

Graelwyn75

Another tactic would be to limit those kinds of foods to special occasions/meals out and be stringent in keeping them out of your home, but admittedly, that means controlling the impulse to buy while out and about. Do you suffer any issues with depression as that also can trigger a tendency to reach for the junk to try and elevate the serotonin levels in the brain. The only periods I found success were when I was A)Intermittent fasting doing the leangains system of 16/8 and Having plenty of fat in the form of nuts, eggs, avocado, dark chocolate, full fat dairy.

After a time without the sugary foods, they tend to taste somewhat more sickly, making it harder to eat much of them, unless you force past that. I also find that intense exercise gets it out of the system and I am much less prone to binge after that. A good start is to determine to not buy the stuff maybe, and to remind yourself that the big food corporations who produce this stuff, don't care less if people find they cannot stop eating it. Apparently, they actually deliberately make these foods a specific combination of fat and sugar to make them more desirable. I sometimes use the mentality of, well, this stuff is everywhere. It is so boringly common and so boringly easy to keep eating it. Also, 600 calories for a slice of cake, if not more (cake is my weakness), well, that is about the same as my big dinners which actually fill me up.

socalkay

I think asking your doctor for a referral to someone who deals with eating disorders is a great idea! Maybe bring this post with you to your appointment and share it with your doctor if he doesn't appreciate how much this issue is impacting yo\ur life. I know it's sometimes hard to get a word in edgewise with doctors but you have to be your own advocate or take a family member who can sit in on the appointment with you. Doctors tend to behave better when they know they are being watched. I'm a 58 yr old woman and I take my dad with me to doctor appointments when I have problems with a doctor. If the doctor tries to brush me off, then dad jumps in repeating the questions and concerns or expressing his own.