Just got off the phone with hubby . . .

MontanaGirl

What an insensitive jerk he's being today. :noway:

He tells me about a convo with his buddy about buddy's new gf. He says something like "Yeah, I met her and she's the kind of person that makes us married people glad to have married who we did."

No problem yet - kinda warm fuzzy

Then, and heres the insensitive part, he tells me his buddy's response "Well, what do you think people say about your wife?" WTF??? And you are stupid enough to relay this conversation to me??? Then act all confused when I get upset and tell you that you don't need to tell me when people say something like that??? BTW - the conversation was basically weight related. So thanks there sweetie. Also, not the first time his has re-played a conversation like that to me. So maybe, even though he says different, he really thinks I'm a cow? I weigh almost 20 lbs less than when he met me and almost 40 lbs less than when we got married.

Sorry - had to vent. Thanks!! He just called and said "Sorry" Whatever . . .

MontanaGirl

What an insensitive jerk he's being today. :noway:

He tells me about a convo with his buddy about buddy's new gf. He says something like "Yeah, I met her and she's the kind of person that makes us married people glad to have married who we did."

No problem yet - kinda warm fuzzy

Then, and heres the insensitive part, he tells me his buddy's response "Well, what do you think people say about your wife?" WTF??? And you are stupid enough to relay this conversation to me??? Then act all confused when I get upset and tell you that you don't need to tell me when people say something like that??? BTW - the conversation was basically weight related. So thanks there sweetie. Also, not the first time his has re-played a conversation like that to me. So maybe, even though he says different, he really thinks I'm a cow? I weigh almost 20 lbs less than when he met me and almost 40 lbs less than when we got married.

Sorry - had to vent. Thanks!! He just called and said "Sorry" Whatever . . .

Shannon023

{{hugs}} Sometimes don't you wish men would think before they speak???? :grumble:

I work with all men & they say insulting things to each other all the time & it just rolls off their backs. He (your hubby) probably wasn't thinking when he relayed the story to you.

Still I know..

Pamy

Men are so unsensitive it is unreal just ignor him

Pamela

:mad:

GTOgirl1969

Your hubby should:
1. Open mouth.
2. Insert foot.
3. Stop when he reaches his *kitten*.
4. Kick it!
Men can be so insensitive...

mrsyac2

Yeah i understand my husband tells me stories and says someone is fat and yet that person weighs less than me- And Im like Hello if you think they are fat then I must be a MOO-COW and his answer is its not like that and you carry your weight well-- If that isnt some BS- So I know how you feel..

sculley

I am so sorry that you had to go through that, no one deserves to have stuff like that said about them. Doesn't he know how much that does to you?

My husband (we are getting a divorce) knowing i was sensitive about my weight comes home one night talking about this girl he had met at work and how she has 2 kids and doesn't look like it and she runs marathan and so on and so forth........It hurt me so badly......here he is always telling me he doesnt like skinny girls he likes girls with "curves" like me....force feeding me sweets late at night and then comes home talking about some skinny broad.....Which so happens I find out a few months later that he was working out her after constantly turning down my invitations to get fit together.......

Just ignore people....they are stupid and whoever feels that way doesn't deserve to be around you let alone know you.

Your beautiful:flowerforyou:

MontanaGirl

Thanks all!! I was just thinking that I probably shouldn't take it so personally since he insulted his buddy's gf first, obviously buddy would have to insult me back. Still - here's me sitting here trying not to start bawling and dh is like "huh?" :noway: Still - I don't really need to hear the blow by blow, especially if I get slammed in the process! Ouch . . .

Oh, yeah - I just love that "you carry your weight well" line. *gag*

And thanks for the you're beautiful comment!! :flowerforyou: Deep breath. Feel better now

countrymusicgirl

Maybe you should talk with him and let him know that really hurt your feelings and ask him why he did it. I find communication is sooooooo important in a marriage.

abbychelle07

Yeah, he should NOT have told you that conversation. It was pointless, and started a fight that any woman would see a mile away!

My husband says weird things too. My favorite is when he is talking about another girl and how "huge" she is, "Wow, she has to be over 200 lbs!" And I'm thinking, "Ummm....so am I?" I've never told him how much I weigh, so maybe he thinks I am less. But still, it makes me feel like an elephant or something.

MontanaGirl

Maybe you should talk with him and let him know that really hurt your feelings and ask him why he did it. I find communication is sooooooo important in a marriage.

Oh, trust me I did!! I let it slide before and just nursed my hurt feelings. Duh - didn't help matters, obviously. So I told him I didn't need to hear that and that I had enough self-esteem issues without that crap. Of course, when he apologized I said "Whatever" but by the end of the conversation it was pretty much mended. It still stings though! Unfortunately, he doesn't communicate anymore. That was one of our strengths during our pre-marital counseling. Our wonderful communication. Until the day after he put the ring on . . . :grumble: He can talk about cows, the weather, the price of rice in China . . . But nothing significant. Sucks!

TK421NotAtPost

That was pretty insensitive!

My wife says stuff like that to me all the time. Recently, I found out that one of her friends thinks I'm short and that her future imaginary husband will definitely be taller. It bothered me a bit, but I didn't let it show.....just laughed it off instead. I think guys are just too proud to admit they're hurt (haha, too proud to admit it to their wives...but not to a bunch of strangers online!).

Fab140

:flowerforyou: At least he said sorry......Gotta love him for that...and the begining of the convo. He just added the whole convo even though ya didn't need to know, you know??

Sounds like a small thing from an otherwise good guy.

Best of luck!
M

MontanaGirl

:flowerforyou: At least he said sorry......Gotta love him for that...and the begining of the convo. He just added the whole convo even though ya didn't need to know, you know??

Sounds like a small thing from an otherwise good guy.

Best of luck!
M

No, the sorry was the second conversation. After I got pi**ed and hung up on him. He was smart enough to wait about 10 mins. Long enough for me not to just hang up on him but not too long!

MontanaGirl

That was pretty insensitive!

My wife says stuff like that to me all the time. Recently, I found out that one of her friends thinks I'm short and that her future imaginary husband will definitely be taller. It bothered me a bit, but I didn't let it show.....just laughed it off instead. I think guys are just too proud to admit they're hurt (haha, too proud to admit it to their wives...but not to a bunch of strangers online!).

Yup - we can be pretty insensitive too . . . :noway:

laurenk182004

That sucks I'm sorry he had to tell u about that conversation. My husband will say someone on tv is fat when they r obviously smaller than I am. It sucks, but I know it's not intentional. Anyways, hopefully he won't do that again!

SoupNazi

Chin up, my beautiful Montanagirl! You are going to look smokin' hot pretty soon and guys will break thier necks to look at ya.....won't he feel like a dumbace when you are beauty and he's the beast!:laugh:

MontanaGirl

LOL - Thanks Jonell!! :flowerforyou:

gabi_ele

I just feel your pain. I don't think husbands think about weight or looks the way we do. I have learned never to ask anything about if something looks fat on me and he doesn't make stupid remarks anymore :glasses: I know he loves me no matter what weight I am but I also know that he would be glad if I would be able to loose some so I could do more things with him. When I talk to people they tell me that he always brags on what a good wife I am and how much he loves me :smooched: So I look over some of the remarks, joke about others and tell him when he really hurts my feelings.
My husband likes to look at other women and I would lie if I would say that I don't look at other men, as long as it is not like staring it's ok with me ) once we were goind down the street and he stared at a woman walking by....... I remembered the next time we were out.... I found a nice looking guy with some hot jeans on... I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk:bigsmile: just so I didn't miss anything
:blushing: , after that he just sneeks peeks :bigsmile: )

AJCM

Montana - is it possible that he didn't mean it? Might he have been insulted by what was said about HIS girlfriend, and he was just upset and fighting back? Do I have the story straight?

I personally have the feeling it has very little to do with an judgement about you, and more to do with your husband!
:flowerforyou:

auntkaren

It seems husbands get really jealous when the wife starts taking better care of herself as far as getting in shape and doing the hair and make up and a little perfume. You watch your husband is going to do a real turn around once your self esteem gets better and stronger and looking hotter then ever.:flowerforyou: He's not going to like any man taking a second look at you . Wouldn't hurt to start learning to swing those hips like you did when you were dating him. Flirty!!!

MontanaGirl

You guys are great!! - gabi_ele - my dh is so funny. If he whistles, I have long ago learned not to look for the hot chick - rather the smokin truck. :laugh: He's so sweet about that - he really never even looks. I don't know how he doesn't - he says he doesn't need to since he's found me. (I look - wouldn't bother me if he did!)

AJCM - Yup - I've concluded it was just a guy thing - you know insult for insult. However, don't tell me the convo!! His buddy is a decent guy and probably was just ticked over what my hubby said about his gf du jour.

Yeah - auntkaren - I just got some new jeans. Rockies. DH has threatened not to let me out the door in them. Couldn't keep his hands off me . . .

I really do have a good guy, other than the occasional insensitivity and the lack of communication and disappearing for 6 hours to get a pack of ciggys. WTH - did you have to go to Kentucky to pick the tobacco??? He has absolutely NO sense of time. If his buddy stops him and says hey, give me a hand here, he will and has no idea he's been gone for hours and hours. :grumble: We're learning though - just been married for 3 years last March. My poor lil feelings are better now, thanks to all you wonderful peeps here on MFP!! you guys!

AJCM

That was pretty insensitive!

My wife says stuff like that to me all the time. Recently, I found out that one of her friends thinks I'm short and that her future imaginary husband will definitely be taller. It bothered me a bit, but I didn't let it show.....just laughed it off instead. I think guys are just too proud to admit they're hurt (haha, too proud to admit it to their wives...but not to a bunch of strangers online!).

Hahaha - her "future imaginary husband" - that's hilarious!

You look significantly taller than your wife! Geesh - what does she want!?!?!? You're a very handsome guy - don't let it bother you one bit!

AJCM

I really do have a good guy, other than the occasional insensitivity and the lack of communication and disappearing for 6 hours to get a pack of ciggys. WTH - did you have to go to Kentucky to pick the tobacco??? He has absolutely NO sense of time. If his buddy stops him and says hey, give me a hand here, he will and has no idea he's been gone for hours and hours. :grumble: We're learning though - just been married for 3 years last March. My poor lil feelings are better now, thanks to all you wonderful peeps here on MFP!! you guys!

Awww... you've got a great guy! The comment was nothing more than tit for tat...
:flowerforyou: