Ha!

lina1131

Assuming you all know who Nigella Lawson is, she's a famous chef in England

1. Nigella's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips .

The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.


2. Nigella's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Woman's Way

Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.


3. Nigella's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way
Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.


4. Nigella's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough!. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: 'I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.'


5. Nigella's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?


6. Nigella's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won't care!


7. Nigella's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman's Way
Why do I have a man?


8. Nigella's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
The Real Woman's Way
left over wine???? Helllloooo

lina1131

Assuming you all know who Nigella Lawson is, she's a famous chef in England

1. Nigella's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips .

The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.


2. Nigella's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Woman's Way

Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.


3. Nigella's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way
Tescos' sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.


4. Nigella's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough!. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: 'I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.'


5. Nigella's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?


6. Nigella's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you won't care!


7. Nigella's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman's Way
Why do I have a man?


8. Nigella's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
The Real Woman's Way
left over wine???? Helllloooo

Shannon023

:laugh: :laugh: That's awesome!!

LokiFae

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

But, I have to say, my celebrity body role model is Nigella Lawson. She has got the PERFECT curvy body.

mommared53

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

amandagreen1980

8. Nigella's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles
The Real Woman's Way
left over wine???? Helllloooo

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

MontanaGirl

:laugh: :laugh: Thanks!! I needed that laugh this afternoon. I especially like #4 - what can I do to dh dinner tonight??? Over-salting is out 'cuz he oversalts everything anyway!

lina1131

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that they'd developed a new machine and asked if the couple would like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the mother's burden.

Well, they thought that was a good idea, and decided to give it a try. The doctor initially set the machine on 10 percent, telling the man that even 10 percent was probably more pain than he'd ever experienced. But the husband was surprised at how little pain he was feeling, and asked the doctor to raise the level.

The doctor increased it to 20 percent, and when the man still felt fine, he raised it to 50 and finally 100 percent.

After it was all over, the man stood up, and stretched a little. Both he and his wife felt fine, and they shortly left the hospital to take the baby home.

It was then that they found the mailman dead on their doorstep.

lina1131

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day. One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played it all through High School.

Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'

Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'

'Who is it?' asked Barb, sitting up suddenly.. 'Who is it?'

'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'

'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.

'Rose! Where are you?'

'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'

'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's Softball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic,' said Barb.. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'

MontanaGirl

Ha ha ha - I love that one!

lina1131

What did the old lady say to 50cent when she saw him knitting?























Gee, You Knit?













(G-Unit, get it???)

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

countrymusicgirl

What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?




Wheeee!!!!!!

Phoenix_Rising

BUMPITY

More jokes please?

Sarandipity

Never Argue with a Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies,
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

TamTastic

I love Nigella!! She makes food sound like the be-all-end-all of life!! Once I heard her say "A baked potato without a lovely, crispy jacket is just a disappointment". I mean, how can you argue with that??? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

flbeachbuddy

During a recent password audit at a company, it was found that a

country bumpkin was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why he had such a long password, he said......










he was told that it had to be..............
.................................at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

:laugh: