Social Anxiety at the Gym?!

Consmomluv

Ooofduh. Okay people. Where are my meds?! I work out (lightly) at my work facility; they offer a work-out room. My boyfriend goes to the gym to lift weights… SO I thought I should attend.
From the second I walked into the door… I lost it.
First of all… I have a starring problem. I was checking out every girl or guy… Starring, judging. SO overwhelmed people watching. THEN…. I get on the elliptical…. 10 minutes in, and im Dying… Now I think everyone is watching me… starring at me- judging me. Do I dare get off… ? I mean people do the Elliptical for HOURS! Hahaha…
Now, then the weight machines, I felt like the biggest dumbass trying to work the machine, all the knobs and different weights. What the hell, Im such a freak.
So I wander over to my boyfriend who is no help, and IM so distracted by the STUPID pants he is wearing… I mean Honey EVERYONE can see your bulge… How hilarious- can you tuck that thing away?! I had ADD at the gym. Im bored, nervous, and scared!!! LOL.
I have a 7-day free trial and IM so scared to go back. I start panicking and cannot focus on anything Im supposed to be doing. Im not relaxed what so ever. I have never broken a sweat at the gym. Im bored instantly.
If someone even smiles at me, IM like “Great, Im sure he thinks my hips are huge!” LOL… Its almost comical- how bad my anxiety is!
Anyways… Anyone else? How do I over come this. This isn’t something I can mentally fix myself… trust me. Deep breathes, music, magazine, tv… NOTHING WORKS. I get to the point of wanting to VOM!!! HELP ME 

pammio

I feel the same way....about the social anxiety part

JohnMaile

Have you ever tried taking a scoop of Jack3d? It will make you feel like an animal... sometimes you might even start thinking that you could easily throw cars around the parking lot!! I'm prone to anxiety, especially in public places!! I just always keep in mind that everyone else is probably worried about what they're looking like, and don't really care what's going on with me. With Jack3d, you'll be so focused and pumped about your workout that you'll forget that there's anyone else in the gym, especially when you start looking for dinosaurs to fight with!!

tgrames

I have the same problem so I joined Curves. Only women there, don't have to worry about adjusting weights. There are women of all ages and sizes that go. The curves ladies are so nice. I was nervous the first few times but no it is no big deal.

elfie9863

Hey there...I used to be soooo self conscious also. BUT, I have to say, it will go away. And stop and think, do you really think any bad things about the other people there? Probably not, and I guarantee you that no one is really thinking much about you. I started going to the gym all by myself and was scared to death and felt pretty dumb also. After about a week, I really did get over it. Going to the gym is the only way I can really lose any weight and maintain since I am not very disciplined on my own. It seemed that after a month I was so into it and lost so much I really would not NOT go.

Stick with it, seriously, you will be so glad. We all need to get out of our comfort zone at times and see what it can do for you.

melissa1977

You'd be surprised how much people AREN'T looking at you because they're too concerned that people are looking at them. I'm the biggest girl at my gym any time I go. The biggest person, actually. But I keep thinking that I have every right to be there and to workout just like anyone else. The more you go, the more comfortable you get with going. So get back there! You can do it!

Meg28

Aw, that's rough. If your work facility works for you and you can get outside there is no reason to actually have to go to a place that makes you so uncomfortable. If you want to keep going, try headphones. Perhaps it will make you focus on something besides everyone else and zone out.

Gyms can be intimidating, but really no one else cares what you are doing as long as it is safe and you wipe the machine down afterwards. I use the headphones sometimes when I'm lifting free weights - even if I have no music on - just so people know I'm focus and won't interupt me.

Now I normally would not suggest trainers, but perhaps this is an opportunity to try a training session (many are free for one or two). This might help you get comfortable with a routine that can be a baseline before you bust out and do your thing.

Good luck!

kimjoan

I use to feel that way until I realized that nobody really cares/or is doing that and those that are are not worth me worrying about how they feel.

CarolHudson11

I get it, too. I never look anyone in the eye and I keep to myself. I have always been really shy around people I don't know. I usually just walk in there with my headphones already on, get on a treadmill, look at my feet, and start walking or running. If I pay attention to my feet, I don't have to make eye contact with anyone. It does get better - by the time I get ready to go to the weights, I'm so in my "zone" I've forgotten anyone else was there.

Suedre

I know how you feel. I used to feel like that about everything. I couldn't even go to the gas station without tons of anxiety and stress. Honestly, I can't tell you how I fixed it. It wasn't fancy thearpy or a mind. I just realized that I was getting older and my life was passing me by. So I quit caring about other people and realized they really didn't care about me either. And if I did do something dumb and one of them thought it was amusing so freaking what?

As far as the gym goes, when I'm there I'm working. If I had not had a conversation before class started, I wouldn't be able to tell you who was next me in step class today. I'm focused on *my* workout and I'm not concerned if someone else is a bit off or just getting started. If someone is paying attention to me, I really dont care as long as they dont interrupt what I'm doing, but I've found most people are working as hard as I am and not paying attention. So you'd be safe with me, I probably wouldnt even know you're there! (along with a lot of the other folks in your gym)

Citrinepoint

You are so cute. I'm the same way!! I'm only just now finally getting over it. But it took taking a BOOK explaining how to use the free weights and mapping out the exercises in it. I did this for 3 weeks (and am still doing it) and now I don't feel like such a doofus with the weights. People (mostly guys since I'm doing free weights) have started chatting with me and I even had one guy come up to me and exclaim how awesome the book I was using was and how he had used it when he first started lifting too!
That really made me feel good. I'm starting to learn that everyone feels this way when the first start out and that once you get used to it and start being regular you get so into your own routine that you no longer look around or care what anyone else is doing.

I'm like you in that I don't do as well when my husband is around. I get to self conscious or annoyed with what he's doing. LOL

amymt10

I use the gym at my work, I feel so much more comfortable going there than a regular gym. Plus my work one is free. I dont like working out with a bunch of guys I dont know, I always wonder where their eyes are. I dont mind working out w/the guys i work with becuase I know them. But actually I'm usually the only one there, its nice to have the whole gym to myself!!

cmriverside

It does get easier. Keep going back. We all had to go through being out there.

Consmomluv

Have you ever heard of the psychological description of "Projection"?

Whatever you are thinking, you assume others are thinking the same thing. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a frequently heard phrase that is also comes to mind.

Start thinking about how great it is that so many people at your business are trying to get healthy. In your mind, cheer them on. You'll be surprised what happens.

Also, everyone starts off being exhausted at the gym. The more you go, the easier it becomes and the longer you can work. You become more physically fit.

I feel fine @ my work gym... but the public gym... YIKES.... LOL

PoshTaush

You sound like me!

Take a friend>... take a class with old people! You will feel better I swear!

By the way I wanted to come back and say that you are stunningly gorgeous so you have NOTHING to worry about. I know we are always our own worst critics though! Hang in there girl.

binary_jester

Have you ever heard of the psychological description of "Projection"?

Whatever you are thinking, you assume others are thinking the same thing. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a frequently heard phrase that is also comes to mind.

Start thinking about how great it is that so many people at your business are trying to get healthy. In your mind, cheer them on. You'll be surprised what happens.

Also, everyone starts off being exhausted at the gym. The more you go, the easier it becomes and the longer you can work. You become more physically fit.

I feel fine @ my work gym... but the public gym... YIKES.... LOL

Your boyfriend should really help. My GF comes with me, I'd spend a day with her showing her how the machines work. I would be truly appreciative that she is there with me.
If you want his attention...ask one of the guys there to help you with the machines. If he is anything like me, I'd over there helping you in an instant.

hadl0032

Bump.

cmw72

You have to own it. Let 'em stare ... though they could probably care less.

I'm a 37 year old guy that goes to Zumba class 6 times a week, surrounded by a room full of 20-something girls who are most assuredly less than impressed with either my fancy footwork or my general dorkiness.

It can be intimidating at times, if I let it get to me. Instead though, I try and use it to my advantage and I go into "hardcore" mode. I invent some sort of imaginary competition in my mind (that I'm sure is very one sided) and I just try and work twice as hard as anybody else.

They're getting served ... whether they realize it or not!

My wife probably thinks I'm insane, and tells me I'm just being paranoid. She tells me that hat nobody else cares because everybody is too focused on their own workout.

She's probably right ... but I keep bringing the thunder, just in case!

Consmomluv

Have you ever heard of the psychological description of "Projection"?

Whatever you are thinking, you assume others are thinking the same thing. "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a frequently heard phrase that is also comes to mind.

Start thinking about how great it is that so many people at your business are trying to get healthy. In your mind, cheer them on. You'll be surprised what happens.

Also, everyone starts off being exhausted at the gym. The more you go, the easier it becomes and the longer you can work. You become more physically fit.

I feel fine @ my work gym... but the public gym... YIKES.... LOL

Your boyfriend should really help. My GF comes with me, I'd spend a day with her showing her how the machines work. I would be truly appreciative that she is there with me.
If you want his attention...ask one of the guys there to help you with the machines. If he is anything like me, I'd over there helping you in an instant.

HAHAHA LOVE IT, If I wasnt such a social anxious freak, I would go ask one of them... LOL.... Can you imaging my man waddling over with his bulge in his little work out pants LOL... Hilarious.....

porcelain_doll

At least you are there to work out and make an effort. I get so sick of people getting on the machines and then talking on their cell phones. That is my #1 pet peeve at the gym above all else. #2 is when people clean off the machines by using THEIR OWN SWEATY TOWELS. Gross.

cem789

I AM THE EXACT SAME AS YOU, I JUST STARE AT PEOPLE HAHA

wintervixen78

In the past, I joined a women's only gym, that really helped. Then I decided to try classes, they're great, because everyone is doing the same thing as you, they're all facing the front, they're concentrating on the instructor, and so are you. The sad thing is, I now live in an apartment building with a gym, but I can't go down and use it because I'm a lone parent with a 4 year old. I have a boyfriend, so hopefully I can hint that I want to get in the gym and see if he volounteers to babysit for my workouts, otherwise it's home DVDs and PS3 for me )

Trovan

I wasn't self conscious at the gym, but I am now. Thanks! :-)

sbranaghan

I people watch too and then I wonder, do they notice me looking at them and what they are thinking!!! LOL Then I realize, who cares and i keep watching, it actually might be good and maybe you can learn a few things just by watching people!
I feel like an idiot too when i cant move the knobs and then people look at you, i kind of laugh at myself and move on.
your best bet, is to take a friend. when my friend and i go, we make fun of the people who wear workboots or winter boots, or this lady there who doesnt wear a bra ( completly noticable... eeek! ) just have fun while you are there and try to get in a good workout, in the long run, i really dont think that anyone cares what anyone else is doing

Geminieve24

I'm going to be honest here and I hope you don't take this the wrong way. WHO CARES! lol
You are there to work out, not win a "who has the best body" contest! I go to the gym six days a week and sure, at times when I am working out I will people watch. BUT if this happens too often then that means I am not focused. You gotta stay focused on why you are spending time there. Its for you-your mind, your body, and only you. If you think people are checking you out and thinking things like "oh she gotta a big..." you are there for the wrong reasons. And hey, I see 300 pound people at the gym I go to now busting their butt. When I see that, I think "dang, that's pretty cool, they are focused to losing their weight".
So take a deep breath, have an agenda when you go, and please realize that it is not a popularity contest. You are there to work out. Get in shape. If you keep focusing on what other people think, sadly it will take a long time to get rid of those pounds. I used to weigh ALOT and when I started working out I went to a gym where all the girls wore skimpy clothes, the guys were just flexing in the mirror and it was a meat market. It didn't bug me. I was there to get a job done and of all things it helped because I wanted to look a certain way. After awhile some of the regulars there started to notice my weight loss. Yea maybe you will have people who are there for the wrong reasons, but please! Don't worry about what others think!
Sorry I hope that wasn't too blunt, I'm just stating something that at times we need to hear. I know for me, I would like the truth. Otherwise I would post asking for suggestions Good luck and relax!

btrflyflutter

Ok....been there and done that and I am BAD about staring at people too. You need a gym buddy! Not your boyfriend cause he obviously is no help. What I did was grabbed a friend and we worked out our schedule to always go together...every time and let me tell you...as crazy and cute as we were....2 months into the people in the gym wanted to know who the funny pretty girls where cause we were so entertaining! Go find a friend that will commit with you....it's much more fun.

kathdela

Because of this, I usually go after work, around midnight. Generally, though, I try not to think about it. If they're laughing at me calling me the fat girl,so what? They only have a couple months left before they can't say that anymore.

The ONLY time I've ever gotten anxious at the gym is when a group of 6 guys who I like to call "the bros" would come in and take up the entire weight room and be loud and stuff.

sereney

I ran into the same thing when I first started going to the gym. It took me several weeks to go in there on my own. I would repeat to myself everytime I walked in that everyone else was there for the same reason~ To get healthy, stay healthy. Now I can go to the gym without fear of who is watching me. I have even found people that I did not know went to the gym and have several people to work out with now. Just remind yourself why you are there, and remember that everyone there has their own goal. The fact that you went to the gym is the respectable because so many people will not. I had to do a lot of people watching to figure out the machines as well. Some I still have no clue how they work and would probably hurt myself trying. Watching other people use the machines, helped me figure out how to use them.
Keep going, the anxiety will decrease with time.

jo_marnes

I used to be like that too. I had an instructor show me which weights to use and how to adjust them.

After a while you realise no one is bothered about who or what you are doing. I've been going for 2 yrs now and I'm now at a place where I think "yep, check me out.... I am fit and I am never going to give up"..... at least that's what I was thinking on the treadmill after 10kms the other day :-)

Mamoonie

There are several ways to overcome your problem :-)

First way is to bring a friend, a workout buddy! You will concentrate on each other, doing things together, walking around together, being focused on one another, and you might forget about all the others. Having a workout buddy also helps to go to the gym at all: you can't just find any excuse to not go (tired tonight, been walking all day, there's this movie I'd like to see, I think I might get a flu, ... whatever), you have to explain it to your buddy, and most excuses are just fake, and not supported by a buddy.

Another way is to just keep your head down, eyes down. As long as you don't watch others, you don't see if they also watch you. You just lock those people out of your mind. It's like young kids playing hide and seek behind their hands. If' you're hidden behind your hands, nobody can see you. Same here, if you don't watch, others don't see you. Think you're all alone in there.

Best way is to change your way of thinking! Instead of worrying about how you look and how you feel and if they watch when you're breathless etc, just be proud of yourself! You're there, you're working out, you're doing something to feel and look better. One day you won't be breathless anymore, one day you will be smaller and fitter and better looking etc. It sure takes some time and a lot of hard work, but you're there to do that work, then do it! Many of the people who are at the gym have started the same way... though earlier, as they already are where you want to get. Be proud of what you do and not worrying about what people could think.

MM

forthefab5

For some reason I'm the opposite! I hate working out alone and I love group fitness type classes (or someone next to me on the same machine) - so I can compare and even (in my head) compete with them - I must be a weirdo right? Lol... Anyway, why don't you try that... instead of saying "I'm so crap, they must be laughing at me", say to yourself... "I'm gonna push that little bit further and they're going to be jealous of ME!" Hope it gets better for you!