ADD/ADHD, help!

Consmomluv

I have a 5 year old son (Conner), who started Kindergarten in the Fall. For his Early Childhood, he was at a private Montessori center. He did very well there and he is VERY smart. He can count to 100, unless he loses focus hehe. He can write his name and does pretty well with reading. This was all before he had begun Kindergarten at his public school.

However, even at Montessori... his teacher suggested having him tested for ADD/ADHD. He often looses focus and doesn’t remember his daily tasks (IE: Cleaning up his own space, wiping down his table after snack, putting away his blanket after nap). He has trouble keeping his hands to himself and if often disruptive during group time.

Now since he has been in Kindergarten... his lack of attention has tripled. At home & at school. His teacher referenced a check list and brought it to my attention that Conner has every single symptom of a child that may have ADD/ADHD. In the beginning of the year we struggled with respect issues. For instance... Mrs. Jones was teaching his class about the letter G. Capital & lower case. When Mrs. Jones told my son "Ok this is how you make the 'g', we want to do it like this so it does not look like a '6'. Conner replied "Well, what if I want it to look like a 6?"

Me and my son's dad (Jared) struggled with the respect issue and had to implement punishments and talks with him. Soon enough his disrespect issue was gone. Now his lack of focus is not only disrupting him, but his entire class. He interrupts constantly, cannot keep his hands to himself, cannot hold his body still, will not sit in a chair, asks unlimited amount of questions (out of turn- my son is very curious...MILLIONS of random questions...did I mention MILLIONS..?), does not complete his work...Etc.

Like I had mentioned before my son is very smart, very intuitive, very curious, and hilarious. He is quick witted and very loving. I’m hurting to see him struggle at school due to his lack of focus. I know he knows how to do it all. When we do homework together- he can figure it out before I can. But his work turns out sloppy and he loses his focus CONSTANTLY.

When I was a child I was diagnosed with ADD. Im not a parent that is too proud to label my son. I don’t look at is as a crutch or a disability being labeled with ADD/ADHD. However, my sons dad REFUSES to agree w/ me. He believes this falls on us as parents. We need to discipline him more, he doesn't have a choice to focus or not focus. I disagree; I can feel for my son. It’s painful to force yourself to pay attention when your mentally not capable of it.

Me and my sons dad are NOT together, we haven’t been for 3 1/2 years- we don’t typically see eye to eye...on anything I have full custody of my son- we have never stepped into a court room. However time spent with each parent is about 50/50. I insure my son and he is MY dependent.

Any suggestions... On Tuesday I am bringing him to his pediatrician for the ADD consultation. If they do say ADD, and they DO suggest meds... His dad will NOT agree to it- and then it falls onto the best interest of Conner. Very frustrating! HELP ME.

ahbach2005

zthere is a program...I think here in eagan Minnesota where excercise is introduced into the school day. I beleive it is either first thing in the morning or througout the day. I can't remeber any nore detail than that but it has improved students performances.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

I wish yo the best of luck

Amandac6772

Maybe your son is just bored in his classroom. I know that sounds too simple but he may be farther ahead of his peers and just gets tired of having nothing new to think about.

hpsnickers1

Have his IQ checked, too. I've heard that children who have a high IQ for their age can get very restless and fidgety in school because they aren't getting enough of a challenge.

Looks like someone else had the same idea in mind.

KcFitCoach

I just want to tell you that if you ever need to chat I am here. My son is 9 years old and has Inattentive type ADHD. I resisted for so long to get him assessed...though we knew there were issues, based on feedback all the way reaching back from pre-school. He can be impulsive and hyper at times, too, but when tested it was the inattentive piece that was OFF the charts. We had a full assessment done by a behavioral psychologist who specializes in learning disorders and ADHD in children. It took a lot of time and a good chunk of out of pocket money, but the testing and report was very comprehensive. My son was assessed at age 7 1/2 and it has been nothing short of incredible the strides he has made since starting meds. I hated the idea of a label....REALLY hated the idea of medicating my son, but he is so much more CONFIDENT. His self-esteem has LEAPED by BOUNDS.

I want to tell you more than one physician and psychologists have told me that ADHD folks tend to be HIGHLY intelligent people.

I have been diagnosed ADHD as an adult now. Looking back at my report cards and feedback from adults as a child, I was very apparently ADHD (inattentive and perhaps some of the hyperactivity). But, back then nobody talked about ADHD (I am almost 40). I actually have a script...funny enough my doc prescribed the SAME med my son takes. But, I haven't filled it yet. Going back and forth as to whether I want to try (and my doc gave me a tiny dose since he knows I am a wimp! HA!) But, I am a trainwreck as far as organization, timeliness, consistency, etc. and it's been interesting getting feedback from my son's therapist that perhaps I need to get my BLEEP together to be consistent in parenting my kiddos.

We were lucky that we only had one bad experience on meds with my son. We found the right med pretty quickly. It's not perfect and I do think ongoing coaching is the key. We literally found a 'coach' type of therapist for my son that works with him and me on problem solving, time management, etc. to help his world be the best it can be.

(((((((hugs)))))))) Looking back, I wish someone had helped me like we're working to help my son. Instead of having teachers dislike me for being a daydreamer, interrupting, seeming to 'not care', etc. I literally remember a teacher telling me I had "diarrhea of the mouth" (MEAN!) and another teacher in middle school even told my parents she thought I did drugs (I DID NOT!)

Consmomluv

I just want to tell you that if you ever need to chat I am here. My son is 9 years old and has Inattentive type ADHD. I resisted for so long to get him assessed...though we knew there were issues, based on feedback all the way reaching back from pre-school. He can be impulsive and hyper at times, too, but when tested it was the inattentive piece that was OFF the charts. We had a full assessment done by a behavioral psychologist who specializes in learning disorders and ADHD in children. It took a lot of time and a good chunk of out of pocket money, but the testing and report was very comprehensive. My son was assessed at age 7 1/2 and it has been nothing short of incredible the strides he has made since starting meds. I hated the idea of a label....REALLY hated the idea of medicating my son, but he is so much more CONFIDENT. His self-esteem has LEAPED by BOUNDS.

I want to tell you more than one physician and psychologists have told me that ADHD folks tend to be HIGHLY intelligent people.

I have been diagnosed ADHD as an adult now. Looking back at my report cards and feedback from adults as a child, I was very apparently ADHD (inattentive and perhaps some of the hyperactivity). But, back then nobody talked about ADHD (I am almost 40). I actually have a script...funny enough my doc prescribed the SAME med my son takes. But, I haven't filled it yet. Going back and forth as to whether I want to try (and my doc gave me a tiny dose since he knows I am a wimp! HA!) But, I am a trainwreck as far as organization, timeliness, consistency, etc. and it's been interesting getting feedback from my son's therapist that perhaps I need to get my BLEEP together to be consistent in parenting my kiddos.

We were lucky that we only had one bad experience on meds with my son. We found the right med pretty quickly. It's not perfect and I do think ongoing coaching is the key. We literally found a 'coach' type of therapist for my son that works with him and me on problem solving, time management, etc. to help his world be the best it can be.

(((((((hugs)))))))) Looking back, I wish someone had helped me like we're working to help my son. Instead of having teachers dislike me for being a daydreamer, interrupting, seeming to 'not care', etc. I literally remember a teacher telling me I had "diarrhea of the mouth" (MEAN!) and another teacher in middle school even told my parents she thought I did drugs (I DID NOT!)

THANK YOU, I loved reading this and I agree! Brings tears to my eyes. being a mother is very emotional- especially if there are struggles that are out of your hands as a parent. *sigh* You want to make it all go away...

KcFitCoach

I have shed lots of tears privately about this topic. It is so tough. Keep working to find professionals you trust and go with your gut. For my son the rubber really hit the road in second grade. The independent work really ramped up and he just couldn't get it done. He is crazy smart, too.

He is still very young, so just find people you trust to work with and go with your gut and be kind to yourself, too. NO mom wants to see their kiddos struggle. It SUCKS! (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))