Whats wrong with me

KHoffmann08

I've been through a lot of hard things. I was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer when a year ago when I was 19. I took it like a champ and have been cancer free for a year. I have also been working really hard on my weight goals and is actually seeing results. This December, my boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me and is dating someone else. I still can't get over this. I can't eat or sleep and I still cry almost every night. I just feel like I'm never going to be happy again.
I know to a lot of you this is probably stupid, but how do i get over this?

halobender

Move on with your life. That's the only way to get through this kind of stuff. I know how it is, my girl of two years and I broke up in July, but for the past 6 months have been ... toying with the idea of getting back together, and every time it kind of explodes. Which is stupid, and over, certainly not to happen again.

Go out and date, hang out with friends. Exercise a lot! Meeting new people would be great for you, though, I'm sure—so when you feel down, go for a walk or something. People watching, for some reason, helps me a lot when I get upset about being alone.

sarahliftsUP

Life is rotten sometimes. But you have to believe that it will get better and that you deserve to be healthy. You have to be the one that you are doing this for.. lose the weight for you, concentrate on yourself.. then you will be able to feel so good about yourself the next time you see your ex boyfriend as his face drops because of how good you look.

It will definitely take time to get over it.. but just take one day at a time. I find walking really helps when I need time to think but don't feel like going to the gym. Just get a nice playlist of songs to walk to and go outside if it's not too cold where you live. Or if you are feeling angry then go to the gym or do a workout video (Jillian Michaels is my favourite!) Whenever you need support, just reach out to someone on here, that's what we are here for!

It'll get better.

BOGmama2010

You have a choice. You can accept it as a fact of life and something that you can't change. But, you can change how you respond to it and if you treat it as a failure it will drag you down and hold you there. You are young and you were in a long relationship from a young age. Take the time to grow and learn about yourself. You need to be happy single before you can be happy in a relationship. Cry your tears and grieve over your loss, but don't dwell on the past. You need to look to the future and see how bright it is for you. You have already overcome cancer. You are strong. And you can do this!

elyse0210

Two years ago I was dating someone and he broke my heart. I swore off men and relationships completely and figured I would never be able to have someone love me again. I had to go to my parents house I was so depressed and my mom had to feed me because I was in total shock. It took a lot out of me and for months we still talked but weren't together. I hung out with my friends more, started working out, and took up some new hobbies. I tried to do things for me. One day I just told him in order to move on with my life I needed to let him go and I haven't seen or spoken to him since. Things just became easier and and I have now met the love of my life. I never gave up on myself and neither should you. Right now it feels like you'll never get over it but trust me you will. Start taking baby steps, work towards a goal, go out with friends and family. Life doesn't have to end because you are single. If you can overcome cancer you most certainly will be able to get over this in time. Good luck

Elizabeth_C34

At 21, I caught my fiance with his ex in a rather compromising position at his friend's house. We were planning our wedding at the time, and it was devastating not to mention very embarrassing making the cancellation phone calls. After I moved out of our joint apartment, he moved her in the next day. Turns out, they had been "seeing" each other for 3 months. Since I couldn't get out of my lease, I had to transfer to a smaller unit across the street from them but thankfully out of eyesight. Breakups can be so hard especially when you're young and don't have the experience to deal with it.

My advice to you is to find positive things in your life and cling to them. Be with people who love and care for you and ignore people who bring you down. Find someone to talk to. It can be a friend or family member, but I ended up talking to a therapist who was completely out of my social circle for the more emotional issues that came up. It was very helpful just to let all the feelings out and not feeling like I was overburdening my friends with all the drama.

Focus on yourself and create an environment that allows you to heal emotionally and physically. Also, stay away from your ex and his friends. You will probably want to reach out to him sometime, but take the time to get yourself centered and healthy. There's plenty of time in your future for talking to him then when you know how you feel and the hot emotions die down. You'll be more rational then.

Hang in there! It took me a while to get through my first very bad breakup, but now I'm 26, married to a wonderful man, have a great career and barely think about my ex anymore. You've got a lot of great years ahead of you so keep your chin up

superwmn

It's not stupid and I'm so sorry that you're suffering. Time is the best remedy for a broken heart. Cry, mourn, feel everything you're feeling. Grieve this loss. As time passes, it will sting a little less. Then even less. Then not so much.

While you're healing, no negative self talk. If you have negative self talk in your head, counter every negative statement.

We're all here for you!

Charmagne

Sasssy69

You will cry - a lot, and for a long time. But, the good news is, eventually, with time, this kind of pain and betrayal gets duller. Something similar (the boyfriend thing) happened to me - only it was after 16 years of marriage, and the woman was a very good friend of mine. Another friend of mine said, "You haven't been replaced; you've been released."

You never really learn to live with something like this - you learn to live beside it. The most I can tell you, is to let yourself grieve. You need to take care of you. Be sure you are drinking plenty of water - for the tears. Try to keep on track with your eating and exercise, but absolutely do not beat yourself up if you can't.

You won't always feel the way you do now. But the hard times absolutely make you a better person...if you let them. Take care of you.

bka8

I agree that crying is great and its good that you're reaching out because then people like us can tell you how strong you are! What youv'e been through with cancer and fighting for weightloss is so much more than lots of people can bear - so you are very strong!! Hurting is okay, because without hurt, how can we ever know what feels good? I wish I had reached out more when my relationship ended about a year ago. I really found that working out helped because it expelled a lot of bad energy and made me feel good at the same time because I was losing weight and getting stronger.

Hang in there! Know people are here and rooting for you!!

sweetestthing

do you have a couple of friends who you trust who you actually think you can hang out with? When I got separated, I found that I was so ashamed and could not even hang out with my friends. Eventhough he cheated and It wasnt my fault, I just felt like I was so beneath them. I wish I had them around and I know it would have made it easier to talk to them and have them take my mind off things.. If not, I am here and I think lots of people on MFP would love to be your confidante! We will all get through this!!

Hourglass25

I agree with everyone else, you should allow yourself to feel the way you do. Start going out with friends and enjoying yourself, workout. Take it day by day trust me I have been there. I am a big believer of everything happens for a reason, you might nor see it that way now, but everything will come together within time.

RoadDog

Keep busy. Sounds cliche, but time will heal.

On the plus side, nothing helps with weight loss like a break up.

TheMaidOfAstolat

It will get better. I was with my ex for 10 years (dated 4, married 6). It would be 11 years total in March. This year will be rough, but I have come to realise that it's not up to him to make me happy...but myself. I have to love me for me and move on with my life. If that is putting my heart out there again so it gets stomped on...so be it. But it's better to be loved for who you are than for who you aren't. I'll never put up with someone who treats me like dirt or lies to me again. It's not worth the heartache and stress.
Nothing is wrong with you...people grow apart...sometimes it works out because the love is strong on both sides, sometimes it's not. You just have to go with the flow. We both have to try to find a man who meets our ideals and who can accept us for who we are...the good and the bad...and the whatever may come. If a man cannot accept that you may change later down the line, then they are not worth the time nor the effort it would take to have a real relationship with the.
:flowerforyou:

KHoffmann08

Thanks for all the kind words. Its nice to know that there is so much support here..I still miss and think about him all the time. I'm trying to keep myself busy, but it seems like everything reminds me of him and i break down. I'm struggling but i hope i will start to feel better