Baked Beans - This is hilarious!

icandoit

> >
> > (This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy! Be
> > sure to
> > grab a tissue; I think you'll be laughing so hard
> > you'll
> > cry!)
> >
> > One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
> > When it
> > became apparent that we would marry, I made the
> > supreme
> > sacrifice and gave up beans.
> >
> > Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down
> > on the
> > way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside
> > I called
> > my husband and told him that I would be late because
> > I had to
> > walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and
> > the odor
> > of baked beans was more than I could stand. With
> > m iles to
> > walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
> > effects by the
> > time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
> > before I
> > knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked
> > beans. All
> > the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the
> > gas.
> >
> > Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me
> > and
> > exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise
> > for dinner
> > tonight!'
> >
> > He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the
> > dinner
> > table. I took a seat and just as he was about to
> > remove my
> > blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise
> > not to
> > touch the blindfold until he returned and went
> > to answer the call.
> >
> > The baked beans I had consumed were still affectin g
> > me and
> > the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while
> > my husband
> > was out of the room I seized the opportunity,
> > shifted my
> > weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only
> > loud, but
> > it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
> > skunk in
> > front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my
> > lap and
> > fanned the air around me vigorously.
> >
> > Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off
> > three more.
> > The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!
> >
> > Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation
> > in the
> > other room, I went on like this for another few
> > minutes.
> > The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the
> > telephone
> > farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly
&g t; > fanned
> > the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it
> > on my lap
> > and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved
> > and
> > pleased with myself.
> >
> > My face must have been the picture of innocence when
> > my
> > husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He
> > asked me
> > if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured
> > him I
> > had not.
> >
> > At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve
> > dinner
> > guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy
> > Birthday!'
> >
> > I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

icandoit

> >
> > (This one is much too cute not to share. Enjoy! Be
> > sure to
> > grab a tissue; I think you'll be laughing so hard
> > you'll
> > cry!)
> >
> > One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
> > When it
> > became apparent that we would marry, I made the
> > supreme
> > sacrifice and gave up beans.
> >
> > Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down
> > on the
> > way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside
> > I called
> > my husband and told him that I would be late because
> > I had to
> > walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and
> > the odor
> > of baked beans was more than I could stand. With
> > m iles to
> > walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill
> > effects by the
> > time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
> > before I
> > knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked
> > beans. All
> > the way home, I made sure that I released ALL the
> > gas.
> >
> > Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me
> > and
> > exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise
> > for dinner
> > tonight!'
> >
> > He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the
> > dinner
> > table. I took a seat and just as he was about to
> > remove my
> > blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise
> > not to
> > touch the blindfold until he returned and went
> > to answer the call.
> >
> > The baked beans I had consumed were still affectin g
> > me and
> > the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while
> > my husband
> > was out of the room I seized the opportunity,
> > shifted my
> > weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only
> > loud, but
> > it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
> > skunk in
> > front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my
> > lap and
> > fanned the air around me vigorously.
> >
> > Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off
> > three more.
> > The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!
> >
> > Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation
> > in the
> > other room, I went on like this for another few
> > minutes.
> > The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the
> > telephone
> > farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly
&g t; > fanned
> > the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it
> > on my lap
> > and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved
> > and
> > pleased with myself.
> >
> > My face must have been the picture of innocence when
> > my
> > husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He
> > asked me
> > if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured
> > him I
> > had not.
> >
> > At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve
> > dinner
> > guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy
> > Birthday!'
> >
> > I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!