Mother/tween Daughter Duo! Need Support!

tcfreeman

Hello! My daughter and I each have about 50 pounds to lose and are getting started on our journey together at home. I've been using Myfitnesspal for quite some time...I am in the middle of a Round of P90X...and I enjoy hiking, walking, (beginning) running and pretty much any sport. My daughter on the other hand...hates exercise of any kind. I'm doing my best to get myself on track and I'm finding it quite difficult to keep myself going and motivate her as well.

If there are any other Mother/Daughter duos out there (especially a mother with a young teen or tween)...please respond! It seems so impossible sometimes...would love to know if anyone else is dealing with a similar circumstance!

bethvandenberg

You can only do this for you. She has to want to do it for herself. Maybe she'd like the wii for exercise.

aniruizchang

My daughter is already 21...but since she was 12 I attempted to the the same thing with her! Sometimes it worked, and others didnt. We joined Weight Watchers and lost 10 lbs each over a month, but then she stopped coming. All these years, I beat myself trying to find new ways, cooking healthier, not buying fattening things...but she continued to gain weight until she reached almost 300 lbs (with a 5'3 frame) by age 18. She moved away to NC for a year, and she came back 50 lbs lighter! It's been a year, and she has now lost 90 lbs. Although we still do some things together, I notice she actually does better without me and so I've let it go and trusted her to take care of herself (although I wont buy soda, snacks or sweets that are unhealthy). I am sorry I coulnt offer different encouragement while you go thru this time, and I pray that it will be very different for you...but just know that even if you never bond while trying to lose weight, and even when it feels like your swimming against the tide...she will find her time, and she will get it done. The best you can do is be her example of perseverance and determination, find creative ways to make healthy fun, plan activities for the family that involve physical activity (park vs. movies, etc.) and pray for her! Dont compromise your progress for hers, nobody can do it for anyone else!

PeachyKeene

Hello tcfreeman,
When I read your blog it was almost like reading my story. I don't do the p90x, but I am doing the kinect fitness revolution and I have a little more to lose than 50 lbs.

My daughter is a young teenager and has no motivation to do any type of workout or sports what-so-ever. She would rather sit on the couch and munch on chips, play around on the computer, or listen to her ipod. She has less to lose than I do, but she does need to lose about 50 lbs or more. I see her eating whatever she wants and laying around being lazy, I think what can I do to motivate her to do something to get into shape without hurting her feelings. I love her and hate hearing stories she tells me about kids at school picking at her about her weight. I hate how she is always saying she wish she could have small legs or stomach, but she makes no effort to change them.

tcfreeman

aniruizchang - Thank you for such an encouraging reply! I'm so happy to hear that your daughter has lost weight on her own...that is exciting! The entire family has a desire to work together for the good of all...obviously it gets rough some days, but we're going to commit to it again! I guess my biggest challenge is the nutrition part. I get easily guilted into giving in to the snacks, etc. I have to be strong! :happy:

Lorri - Hi! My daughter read your post and was very moved. She thought it sounded like you were describing her! I think it helped her to see that there are other girls struggling with the same things she is. With all of the talk about childhod obesity...it sure seems like she is the only girl in her grade to be overweight! She has been committed and determined to make changes and lose the weight many times. It just seems that eventually we start to lose motivation. Last summer we saw a nutritionist and personal trainer. In 6 short weeks, she saw great results! We did family workouts and tried to follow the nutritionist's guidelines. But, we couldn't afford to keep paying for the trainer and we pretty much fell of the wagon over the course of the summer. My daughter is like me...developing the plan is the fun part...the first few days are exciting...it's the on-going day to day struggle that starts to wear on her. All in all, I feel that I am 95% responsible...I buy the food that comes in the house, I fix the meals, I have control over her portions... Even though I understand she has to have the want to...I also realize that an eleven year old does not have a huge amount of self-control...or sound decision making skills. We're going to have to tackle this TOGETHER! I can't leave her to do it on her own...