Handling Food Saboteurs with Grace

WonderNoodle

From the Joy Bauer Daily Newsletter
The Daily Plum

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Handling Food Saboteurs with Grace

Have you ever declined seconds at a meal or opted out of dessert only to be asked why by someone at the table? It can be embarrassing and infuriating, especially if the person just won't let go. I call these people food saboteurs, and I have a few thoughts about why they do what they do, and how you can thwart their efforts.
The motivating factor for some of these folks is a combination of guilt and fear — guilt about their own eating habits, and fear that if you lose weight, you'll somehow be more attractive than they are. Or, it may simply be habit mdash; some people are programmed to push others to eat and eat.

The best way to handle saboteurs who are family, friends, acquaintances, or strangers is to explain that you are perfectly satisfied with what and how much you've already eaten — plus, you're trying to lose some weight and eat healthfully . If they question you again, simply reiterate that you feel comfortably full and see no reason to eat more. If they come at you a third time, look them straight in the eye and firmly ask why on earth they care what you eat. That usually does the trick.

StephP0915

BUMP!
You just described my boyfriend's mom. She's tiny, but she gets satisfaction in feeding and spoiling people. Unfortunately, she does not take "no" for an answer very gracefully. She pouts and her feelings get hurt very easily. I've just come to accept that this is her personality and that she means well. Knowing that she means well helps me continue to be persistent in my refusal in a kind way. Sometimes I even laugh and ask her in a joking manner if she is deliberately trying to make me fat. That usually does the trick without hurting her feelings. Delivery is everything.

mcarpe52797

Thank you for the tips on handling food sabateurs. I just started on Monday and last night my mother in law decided that she would bring dinner. Not only Taco Bell, but Chinese too (my 2 old favorite take-out foods)! Luckily, I had purchased a few Lean Cuisine's for emergencies. I figure while frozen meals are processed, it has to be better for me than eating fast food in a situation like this. I made my meal, steamed some brussel sprouts and ate with the family. She tried to get me to eat an eggroll, but I passed and she dropped it. I honestly wanted to slap her, but I knew what she was doing so I think I handled myself with grace. It may get harder as time goes on, but I'll just have to come here and reread other's advice. Thanks again!
Missy

jptmemphis

I supply goods and services to the restaurant industry. I become very close with the owners of restaurants. Quite frequently and am offer food as an expression of gratitude. I generally decline but more times than not, my customers aggressively insist. I have many foreign born customers and they generally view it as an insult if I completely decline.

Last night I had to work late for a customer. He absolutely insisted on feeding me (and it was all of the wrong kinds of foods). Fortunately had had a good work out and I had 1100 calories left. I barely got in under my limit for the day. This was tough.

judithlang

Thanks for the great way to handle food saboteurs - I also have a mother in law who is an expert in offering food - I know she wants to be a good hostess but it can be very difficult for me especially since I am new at this - now I have a way to handle things with grace and dignity :flowerforyou: Judy

lab_goddess

great!! I love this!