Unwanted Help!!

spennato

Does anyone else find themselves telling people how many calories are in the food they are about to eat, only to be told that they they don't care!! I myself used to think the same way and wished someone educated me on the catastrophic effect on your body unhealthy foods have. Should I mind my business?

ccrawshaw

I know this isn't the answer you're looking for, but.... yes! People just get annoyed with you when you offer "advice" when it isn't asked for. I've also found that there are a select few in my day-to-day life (outside of MFP) who really give a crap about my weight loss. Most of them don't want to hear about it and even get a little bit defensive when the topic is brought up (whether by me or some one else). So I reserve my "advice", progress, and successes for those who truly care and the others will go on being happy or unhappy (whichever the case may be) without me stepping on their toes.

Simonscat

Yes mind your business.
If they want to know what calories are in it they will look.
Don't lecture them.
Everyone hates people like that

curlytop89

I'd say probably, unless you know the person is trying to eat better, or something like that. I don't know, people get testy about things like that. I think people just don't want to know so they can go on eating themselves into oblivion.

MelissaL582

I've actually commented on what my husband eats. I'll say something like "umm..do you know how many calories are in there?" and he'd say "it' s okay because it's worth it". I don't jump on his case about it and continue eating my healthy meals. I think once he sees how much weight I lose, he'll look at his eating habit differently.

laurenward1990

If they care - they'll know.
If they don't care, that's their problem!

meggonkgonk

Yea- I would def mind your p's and q's. My best friend is trying to lose weight, and I want so badly to tell her all the things I know/have found etc but that's not what she needs- she needs me to be there for her. Worry about yourself, don't meddle with others unless they ask, and even then think twice

secostley

Agree. You probably should mind your business. Weight oftens falls in the same category as religion and politics in a lot of people's minds--something that shouldn'f be impressed upon another unless it's solicited. Mentioning the calories someone is eating insinuates that the person may be overweight.

My recommendation: Set a good example in front of them by eating, exercising and living well. Then if they ask how you got like you are, you have an opening to discuss caloric intake.


Shawn

secostley

Agree. You probably should mind your business. Weight oftens falls in the same category as religion and politics in a lot of people's minds--something that shouldn'f be impressed upon another unless it's solicited. Mentioning the calories someone is eating insinuates that the person may be overweight.

My recommendation: Set a good example in front of them by eating, exercising and living well. Then if they ask how you got like you are, you have an opening to discuss caloric intake.


Shawn

sbwood888

Yep--unless they ask for your help, you should just watch out for yourself and leave others alone. (in my opinion).

iamstaceywood

i don't say anything out loud but, i'm always thinking it. like the super fat girl at my work who tells me that women can't lose weight. and that low carb is the only way to go, and then eats waffles on the weekends. lol. its ridiculous. my husband calls me the diet c@#t. He says that he can see me judging. Whatever, i don't say anything.

dmmarie21

It depends, in my opinion. If they are say, your best friend, I would tell them. For example, my best friend is trying to lose weight, killing herself at the gym, yet, the other night, she texted me and said that she had a craving for fried mushrooms, so she went to a restaurant and ate two orders and that was her dinner. Of course, I said, you know that's not healthy and loaded with calories, right? lol. She laughed it off, because she is my best friend, but, she knew it wasn't good for her.

But, what annoys me is, when you post a thread, and people comment about how bad something is. For another example, someone was asking about marshmellow fluff, and there were SO many negative posts about how bad it was. So WHAT. I mean, yea, it has bad stuff in it, but, if eating a tablespoon of it helps to satisfy a craving and keep you from eating 10 chocolate bars, then so be it.

So, to answer your question, I am all about voicing my opinion, but, I would tread lightly with people you don't know.

Erius

Well, if it were me, I'd want to know. If it were me 5 years ago, I was in denial so I wouldn't want to hear it. So, you can't win I'm afraid. To each their own!




For ever and always, the journey continues.

mrscates

THIS IS SO TRUE!

I know this isn't the answer you're looking for, but.... yes! People just get annoyed with you when you offer "advice" when it isn't asked for. I've also found that there are a select few in my day-to-day life (outside of MFP) who really give a crap about my weight loss. Most of them don't want to hear about it and even get a little bit defensive when the topic is brought up (whether by me or some one else). So I reserve my "advice", progress, and successes for those who truly care and the others will go on being happy or unhappy (whichever the case may be) without me stepping on their toes.

binary_jester

Do you think smokers want to hear how bad smoking is for their health?

mrscates

I think judging happens once you realize how EASY it is to lose the weight and be healthy, LOL. I hear it too and want to literally SLAP the crap out of ppl for complaing, but yet doing nothing. I basically tell anyone complaining..."If you don't like it, do something about it instead of *****ing". Its true! On the other note, I would suggest not saying anything to anyone who hasn't asked for your help. You can tell them what YOU are doing and if they are interested they will ask, until then...let them cont. to kill themselves.

i don't say anything out loud but, i'm always thinking it. like the super fat girl at my work who tells me that women can't lose weight. and that low carb is the only way to go, and then eats waffles on the weekends. lol. its ridiculous. my husband calls me the diet c@#t. He says that he can see me judging. Whatever, i don't say anything.

mrscates

they don't but its DEF an easier subj to cast judgement on , LOL...weird!

Do you think smokers want to hear how bad smoking is for their health?

jsecret

The only time I really put it out there is when somebody asks me to try something or "just have one" or order something specific. My instant response is always, "No thanks... I know how many calories are in there." And then to continue on my way... 9 times out of 10 they will ask how many calories lol.

dwarfer22

It depends on the situation and the company you're with. I am blessed w/ an office full of ladies who are trying to eat healthy right now so the subject is ok. Unless you are with a close friend you prob would reserve any negative comments. Otherwise if you are having like an office challenge, you might wait til later on and casually remark that you are anticipating the weigh in, opening the conversation from your point of view and try to draw them in. Maybe they are emotional eaters and are upset, or maybe they just don't realize what they are doing. If you come at it from a neutral angle it probably would not make them as defensive.

mjd0109

I'm the same way with my family. I can't help it!. I'm a vegetarian and also mainly eat organic so when my mom or brother stuffs their face with fast food or coke zero I can't help but to tell them that its unhealthy. It's not because I want to force my lifestyle on them but because I want them to be around for as long as possible. But I don't go around telling strangers or friends or anything unless they ask for it. I do recommend that everyone reads Skinny B*tch, its a life changer! Even if you're not interested in becoming a vegetarian or vegan it will your open your eyes to where your food and drink comes from and what effects chemicals will have on your body.

Sharing is caring!

spennato

Good point, I just recently quit smoking and I never gave a crap when people said how bad it was for me but people telling me only made me want to quit more..........

antipholous

Yea- I would def mind your p's and q's. My best friend is trying to lose weight, and I want so badly to tell her all the things I know/have found etc but that's not what she needs- she needs me to be there for her. Worry about yourself, don't meddle with others unless they ask, and even then think twice

If they're purposefully trying to lose weight you should definately tell them what they're eating is bad. My mother tried to lose weight for a year (I had been out of the state during this time) and apparently she was eating just like she normally did but thought walking a few miles a day would do the trick. She got frustrated and quit. If she'd had proper support and information, she might not have done that bad.

binary_jester

They ask me for advice, they get an earful. But I am known for eating relatively healthy. So if I indulge, I really not have someone come up and tell me how bad it is for me. I see it the same way in your situation.

binary_jester

I'm the same way with my family. I can't help it!. I'm a vegetarian and also mainly eat organic so when my mom or brother stuffs their face with fast food or coke zero I can't help but to tell them that its unhealthy. It's not because I want to force my lifestyle on them but because I want them to be around for as long as possible. But I don't go around telling strangers or friends or anything unless they ask for it. I do recommend that everyone reads Skinny B*tch, its a life changer! Even if you're not interested in becoming a vegetarian or vegan it will your open your eyes to where your food and drink comes from and what effects chemicals will have on your body.

Sharing is caring!

No offense...but you JUST made his point with your post.

steampunkgirl

I agree with drawfer2 it does depend on the situation

also how do you display your ticker? I created one but its not showing up.

spennato

Thank to everyone for their input, Just wanted to make clear that I am not going up to complete strangers and telling them how bad the food they are eating is, only Immediate family and real close friends...........

Debtappe

I agree with most everyone on not saying anything. My feeling is you have to love them as they are and wait for them to ask you how you lost your weight. I've been on MFP since September and am losing slowly and steadily and I could lose faster if I didn't have a slice of pizza every week - but I factor it in to my calorie allotment. I have to live with this eating pattern for the rest of my life and allowing myself the pizza is what makes it doable. Even if it does have a ton of calories, fat, and salt.

LoveMy3Boys

No I don't.... at all... unless they are complaining about being overweight while downing an extra large fries or something

benthinb4

All (ALL) change has to be your own idea. No amount of education, information, or advise will help until the individual decides to change. Think about what made you change.

milanks

I agree with drawfer2 it does depend on the situation

also how do you display your ticker? I created one but its not showing up.

If you mean to have it show up at the bottom of your forum posts, you have to copy the code you're given once you've made the ticker and then go over to the "Signature" tab at the top of these forums and paste it in there. I hope that helps!