Culling your 'friends'

karenjoy

I have had a wee bit of a 'friend' cull, I had a lot of 'friends' on here that never post, never reply to posts or seem to do anything at all, so I am afraid that I went through them and deleted them from my list, I want this to be a place of support, positivity and advice, I think that having a lot of 'friends' who never comment, advise or anything is a bit silly, after all, I don't know these people and the whole point in being here is the community, if you are not part of that then why bother? I hope that I have not offended or upset anyone however. I just wondered what you all think? xXx

robin52077

I do it every few months, and so do I lot of my friends.
I go to every person's profile page and if they haven't logged in for over a month they're gone.

chelekaz

I agree. Also unless I know someone is going on vaca I will remove those not active for 2+ weeks or 30 days depending.

katschi

Can you please tell me how to go about deleting friends?

robin52077

Can you please tell me how to go about deleting friends?

on their profile page click remove friend, or click the little X next to them when you are looking at the list of all your friends

JLeeAlton

I try to check once a month. On my phone app it says the last time they were on. If it has been 2 months or more.. DELETE!

Galathea

I do the same now and then, deleting inactives who haven't logged in for a month or longer. Yes, it makes me feel bad. But what's the use of it? It disappoints me to see they started with so much enthusiasm and fell off so fast. I think the support is the thing that keeps me going. So I stick with the people who give it and need it in return and try my best to be helpful and supportive (or even just making them laugh now and then).

catcrazy

if its been a couple of months with no activity then I delete. Like you said its to support and be supported, i'm not just trying to collect X amount of friends. There is one exception to my rule and that is someone who I know is having a hard time with something big in her life and everything else will come a poor 2nd to that for the time being and I fully understand and support that.

mrmarius

With a 250 limit you have to. I havent reached my limit yet but when I do and others request me the inactives will be removed

sars_68

I've only just joined so don't have any to delete yet! Heehee!

As you guys seem to have been on here a while, can I ask a question? How you get the 'ticker' to show on your posts?

Regards

Sarah

sars_68

I've only just joined so don't have any to delete yet! Heehee!

As you guys seem to have been on here a while, can I ask a question? How you get the 'ticker' to show on your posts?

Regards

Sarah

sars_68

I've only just joined so don't have any to delete yet! Heehee!

As you guys seem to have been on here a while, can I ask a question? How you get the 'ticker' to show on your posts?

Regards

Sarah

katschi

Robin52077, Thank you!
I get too overwhelmed with long friends lists.
I will add friends only if I know them IRL.
This doesn't mean that I don't offer support to any and all I feel inspired by, though, in the message boards.

cheshirequeen

how do you delete and how do you see the last time they logged in. i havent even been on here 3 weeks so im not even close to deleting anybody, nor do i want to, but i understand the need to.

sars_68

Sorry for the repeat posts! My laptop / connection was playing up. :blushing:

ajbeans

I just joined, so I'm not at the point of needing to delete either. I only have one "friend" on here.

I do that once in a while on Facebook though. The way I see it, I don't want people lurking around reading all my business if they're not actually interested in any kind of friendship. So I delete people once in a while. I always figure if it bothers them enough, they'll message me or request me again, but most of the time they don't notice. If they haven't been contacting you regularly, they probably won't have any idea you dropped them.

❤B☩❤

I have so many mixed feelings about culling, purging, deleting friends. On the one hand, I know if I delete someone who hasn't logged on for a while, may actually need my support and encouragement. However, if they don't log on, I can't really support them (or if I do, they don't know it...)

Then I have these members that will send me a friend request with no message attached to get some sort of idea about them, or if we even have much in common. These are the members that 'collect' friends. I'm not here to be a number to someone else.

Then I have the dreaded task of deleting friends that don't want to do anything to help themselves. I see them gone for a month, maybe two and then they come back and SAY they are going to get back into the swing of things. Then I see their diary and they eat takeout 4-5 times a week, go over (WAY over), and then get all depressed because they don't lose. I really don't want to seem indifferent or cold, but I need to stay positive in my journey. If these members are not going to move forward, in a positive way, then unfortunately I need to delete them.

Then, after I have deleted these friends, I get an email asking why we are no longer friends. I can honestly say that I am doing this, first and foremost for ME. Not as a popularity contest. I am sorry when I delete someone, but I don't do it lightly. I think about who is working their journey with the same determination as I am.

So, at the end of the day, when you are left with 30 +/- friends, you can know that these are the same folks you would meet for coffee or an exercise session if they only lived closer. I my friends!

karenjoy

thank you all for your replies, this is what I love about MFP!!

portlandsundevil

Then I have these members that will send me a friend request with no message attached to get some sort of idea about them, or if we even have much in common. These are the members that 'collect' friends. I'm not here to be a number to someone else.

I have to admit I do this. However, the only people I ever send requests to are those who post on message boards and give great info or advice. I'm not out to collect friends, just trying to build an support network of awesome mfp'ers You guys are the best!

MzBug

I have deleted a few over the months. Those that dissapear, those that copy and paste huge articles on the home page and never say anything personal, those that b!tch and moan all the time and never do anything to improve the sitiation, and those trying to sell something or their ideology on weight loss. Buh-bye!

RoRoFletch

I do the same now and then, deleting inactives who haven't logged in for a month or longer. Yes, it makes me feel bad. But what's the use of it? It disappoints me to see they started with so much enthusiasm and fell off so fast. I think the support is the thing that keeps me going. So I stick with the people who give it and need it in return and try my best to be helpful and supportive (or even just making them laugh now and then).

I haven't tried the friend thing on here but, you do make a good point. No point in starting and not making the commitment to finish. I'm constantly logging in on my phone. That's actually the reason I'm signed up online - had the iPhone app first, then realized I become an online user that way. I'm more the type to stay in the dark - make a few comments here and there.