Keeping it all together (or trying too!)

vmata1

Hi Everyone,

The last few weeks have been tough on me and I have been going back to food for comfort and not logging in online because I've been ashamed of my binge eating.

I recently left my job and today I had my ex-boyfriend tell me that he is not physically attracted to me! That kinda struck home and made me even more determined to get my life back in order and get fit.

My goal is to lose 50 pounds and even though I lost 5 in the last month, it does not feel like a victory. I went to the gym today and worked out for an hour and a half, adding strength training so I can tone up to my cardio. I was on the treadmill for my cooldown and all I kept thinking was shame. Shame for being at the gym and not looking as fit as the other people there.

I want this shame to go away and stay positive. I am more determined then ever! This weekend I am going to go shopping for a size 8 dress (my goal size) so that it will sit in my closet as motivation that I will fit into it and look hot! Right now I am a size 14 and not happy about it.

I have begun to realize that my self-esteem is low and so I am going to be doing a new challenge. The body for life challenge. I enrolled my uncle in being my buddy in the challenge as he has recently lost 60 pounds and still has another 40 to go. He is my inspiration and I am looking at him and all of you for that motivation.

I know the body for life challenge works. My younger brother was on the National Snowboarding Team a few years ago and a professional snowboarder. Due to an injury, his olympic dreams were shattered and he gained 45 pounds which he lost last year on the body for life challenge. Seeing him do it makes me proud and ashamed that his sister has become a "fat blob".

I am determined to not be that "fat blob" anymore and yes, I do want to be a size 8 for me but also to show everyone, hey, I did it!!

My next goal is to lose another 5 pounds for February 9th, my birthday! They say that it takes 12 weeks to develop new habits and to make them permeant. My goal is in the next 12 weeks to get to a size 10 (the healthy way), get a new job and start living a life that I love. Who's with me?

If you read this and want to be a motivational buddy, add me as a friend. With a good support system, I know I can do it and maybe we can do it together!

Cheers,

Vivienne