Who is single and why do you think you’re single?

HWT2003

princesslmc2

Ummm... not really sure how to respond to this. I'm not sure if this is out of frustration of how we look (perhaps being overweight) or just a general frustration about men not wanting us. After 30 years of having never been in a relationship (though I tried match.com, eharmony.com, set-ups, blind dates, dates with friends, etc.), I finally bumped into someone I was entirely compatible with. So perhaps... just haven't met the right one yet?

nubreeze33

I don't know what to call myself lol......i'm married going through a divorce, so technically i'm not single but hate saying i'm married ugh. I havn't been with my husband for years. I am just finally doing the legal thing. sooooooo I am single (sorta) by choice. I was dating but suddenly my spirit convicted me and I broke things off with the guy I was dating because my conscious desires that I be legally divorced before I move forward with my life. It's the GOD in me you could say.

ErinLauren

Because I was not open to bringing someone else into my life when it was full of caos and uncertainty. You have to learn to love yourself and treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you long before you will ever attract the right someone to you. I wont be single long.... that much I know now.

LaurenRose2011

I am single, and I am single because I have spent life focused on my education. I will remain single because I still have a lot more schooling to get through before I reach my goal. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my education, and I am only just becoming a perfectionist when it comes to my body. lol I just never really found it possible to multitask before, but now I am doing my best to do that.

Triquetra

I'm single now after 15 years because my ex was a cheater and I am still single (2 yrs post divorce) because I am too busy with my children and improving myself to need a man in my life. If it is meant to be the right man will come into my life at some point.

xTattooedDollx

I'm offically single because I love dating! I love going out, having fun and meeting new men. I'm in no hurry to settle down with one man!

yanicka

I have been single for the last 5 years. I am single because I do not feel like anything is missing. I have my kids, my work, my buisness, my friends and my fitness. If I meet someone that I feel great with, it's great but if I don't, it's ok too. I am not defined by the fact that I have or do not have a significant other. I am not less lovable, less complet and my life less significant if I am single.

roylawrence87

This guy. I have no idea why I'm single.

brittlynne3579

I'm single because I want to be. I date and have alot of fun. No one seems worthy to commit to. I've been cheated on, lied to and stolen from so I want to make sure it is right. In the mean time, I'm having alot of fun with all the wrong ones :drinker:

amelia_atlantic

I am! I've spent equal time in relationships and out of them. It's like frickin' FEAST OR FAMINE all the time. I've been hurt like everyone else and I pull back from the dating scene as soon as I'm hurt. Most of the time I revel in being a single, independent woman because relationships are so time and energy consuming.

Of course, I've used the excuse "I choose the wrong men...or they choose me"...always forgetting to choose MYSELF first. Being single isn't so bad!

I think single people have to remember you're not really looking for anyone to "complete you". You're looking for someone to ENHANCE you. Here's to YOU, single people! I hope you find what you're looking for and I hope you find yourself somewhere along the road! :drinker:

HealthyChanges2010

Because I was not open to bringing someone else into my life when it was full of caos and uncertainty. You have to learn to love yourself and treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you long before you will ever attract the right someone to you. I wont be single long.... that much I know now.

Single currently by choice for the very reasons above (well put BTW), I figure why on earth would I want to get involved with someone when I'm not as confident in myself as I'd like to be, I certainly don't want to project that out to others and end up with someone fulls of their own self issues.

I think for myself I see it as very important to truly care about yourself, love yourself fully and feel in a good place before you put yourself out there. Because hey really do I want someone that's a total mess brought into my life right now? NO WAY:noway: :laugh:

I go out have fun with my gf's and my gf's but I'm not interested in serious commitment for now. Frankly I enjoy the freedom of being single and to be able to date and hang out with friends on my time and not have to worry about someone getting upset about it.

I hear far to many stories on here of unhappy marriages/relationships and the sabotage that goes on and the cruelness... it's a very very good deterrent to keep me staying out of a serious relationship.

Plus I was married in my 20's/30's and it sure not all it's cracked up to be, it's a lot of work and if both ppl aren't committed to making it work, really what's the point. I don't need the craziness ...I think I've learned this as I've matured.:flowerforyou:

HealthyChanges2010

This guy. I have no idea why I'm single.

I have a clue:laugh: :laugh:

HealthyChanges2010

I have been single for the last 5 years. I am single because I do not feel like anything is missing. I have my kids, my work, my buisness, my friends and my fitness. If I meet someone that I feel great with, it's great but if I don't, it's ok too. I am not defined by the fact that I have or do not have a significant other. I am not less lovable, less complet and my life less significant if I am single.

Love this response, what great truths!!

mommared53

I'm single and very much okay with it. I figure if God wants me to have another husband, He'll send me the right man for me.

katschi

I'm single because I want to save some poor *kitten* from a lifetime of misery. :bigsmile:

mommared53

I'm single because I want to save some poor *kitten* from a lifetime of misery. :bigsmile:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's a good reason.

MsSunshine2011

Just got into a relationship (sort of) last week. Don't think it's gonna last. I have commitment issues. I freak out once the relationship gets too serious, I don't know why I do that but I just do... Also I don't really enjoy the company of people (I like people, just not very much), too much emotions, too many social etiquette that I simply don't get ... it's confusing. Just the other day a co-worker accuses me of never asking her to lunch, but she ask me to lunch everyday, why do I have to ask, it never occurred to me that that's an issue until she brought it up. I try ... sometimes it's so tiring. But I am trying.

roylawrence87

This guy. I have no idea why I'm single.

I have a clue:laugh: :laugh:

What might that be?

esteemacalm

I'm single for a couple of reasons. One, I feel that the powers that be are preventing me from getting with someone because they know that I am not ready. I have recently tried to hook up with a couple of people (because I'm lonely), but those people did not respond back to me in kind. Being honest about the situation, I realize that I am not ready to be in a relationship with someone else; the relationship that I am having with myself needs attention FIRST, then I can move on to being in a relationship with someone else.

My second reason is that I don't want to settle. There are people who I recently tried to get into a relationship with that have not responded to ME, but on the other hand, there are people who try to get into a relationship with me and I have not responded to THEM. In the past, I have settled...if-you-can't-be-with-the-one-you-love, love-the-one-you're-with type of thing. I had to learn the hard way that-that does not work out. In the past I had the tendency to be with someone just because they acted like they liked me, not because I actually liked THEM. These days I really want to be wise and wait for the right person.

mjd0109

I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If youre not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person!

HealthyChanges2010

I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If youre not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person!

HealthyChanges2010

I'm single because I want to save some poor *kitten* from a lifetime of misery. :bigsmile:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's a good reason.

ya both cracked me up!:laugh:

Xandi

I am not Single, I am married to the awesome-est man in the world!
I think that the person you are with has to enhance you!
I am a better person with my man than I am alone!
:blushing: :happy:

spuzo

I'm almost 39 and I've never been in a relationship, I've never dated anyone. I never really found anyone who I thought was worthy of my time and energy. I'm thinking more and more that I'm just an aromantic asexual [any others on this site???] but how do you know for sure...it's not like there's a test.

More and more when I see people together - married or dating I think "thank god Im single!". The interactions both fascinate me and confuse me.

There's a few ladies here at work who all they talk about is getting married - that's their only goal in life and that confuses me so much - I dont get it....

Edited to add: Strangely enough I LOVE the show "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Four Weddings".

esteemacalm

I think a lot of people have hit the nail on the head saying that you have to love yourself first. If youre not in a good place in your life and with yourself then its just really not conducive to a relationship. Be at peace with yourself and who you are-and quit looking for someone-and you'll find the right person!

esteemacalm

Great point about being at peace with yourself.

I have oft times noticed that many of my slimmer, shapely girl friends have a calmness and a relaxed nature about themselves when we are with a group of men, whereas some of my overweight friends. myself included at times, go above and beyond when around a group of guys...you know, doing things like talking too loud and too MUCH, laughing too loud...just being real "EXTRA" if you will. Like we are trying waaaaay too hard, and it shows.

It seems to me that my girl friends who are at peace and not stressing off of getting a boyfriend, have men flocking to them in droves. Lack of desperation is appealing to some, I suppose

anubis609

I am. I'm getting my personal affairs in order at the moment and I couldn't fully bring someone into my life knowing I'm not satisfied with where I'm at right now. If I don't feel fully committed to my own personal life, there's no way I'd attempt to bring someone else into it.

That, and I'm a total d-bag. I have astronomically high standards for every criteria, and if they're not met at an acceptable level, it ain't gettin' past her crib or a motel room, since I refuse to bring them to my spot. I don't know WHO'S a stalker, and I don't need another one showing up out of nowhere to make a random surprise visit. I make it explicitly clear from the beginning that I'm not looking for anything and that if they catch feelings, I'm gone. Broken hearts, dirty looks, hate texts, etc. usually follow.

radtech811

I LOVE what Amelia said! You don't need someone to complete you, but to enhance you! BEAUTIFUL!!!
I am single, and complete. I have 3 children and a granddaughter and they are my world. I have my career, my family, my friends, and my complete independence. I don't NEED a man to complete me. I don't even date. The reason for that is that my self-esteem level is really low. Once I start feeling good about myself, I will start dating again. But, I'm afraid that I will be so incredibly selective due to really bad past relationships that I won't find many men that I would be willing to go out with. I guess time will tell.

joygwen

I think there are a lot of reasons why I'm single but I guess it boils down to the fact that it's not God's timing yet. When it's his timing, I'll be ready, he will be ready, we'll meet, or realize it if we already now each other and it'll happen.

I know being overweight and unhealthy doesn't help me in that department, but it's not all of it. I sometimes wonder if I put off an air of not available, not open to a relationship. I also have 4 kids, that's a down side for some guys but it won't be for the right one. I'm also pretty darn independent. I was talking to a friend and we decided we aren't quite needy enough, or don't let on that there are things we do need. If I have a flat tire, I change it, if somethings broke, a lot of times I can fix it or I go get it fixed. Maybe I need to be a little more damsel in distress like too. Who knows. Personally I think mostly it has to do with that first paragraph.

AZChatterB

I'm single... after a bad marriage and divorce (13 years ago!). Part of it was the depression and such after a failed marriage, including gaining over 100 pounds, and part of it is that I'm not sure I can trust somebody that completely again. I will say that I am happy with who I am (have lost 80 pounds in the past year, and still working on it) and really like living alone. I love my house and furniture and doing what I want when I want. That's not to say I don't sometimes feel some angst, especially when most of my friends are married or in relationships. It can make it hard when I'm invited to a party (or worse, a wedding) and I don't have anyone to go with. It is what it is, though.