Why do all the non-dieters around you, have all the answers?

barberella

Constantly, at work, in social situations...anyone from colleagues to acquaintances who are not trying to "diet" or eat/exercise always seem to be experts? I have heard so much from these "experts" about how I should eat or what fad diet I should be on. And it's funny cuz most of em are overweight! But yet, they are always so darn willing to offer me advice. Hello..at least I'm trying, and I don't need to be told this. I'm certainly no nutritionist or dietician, or any kind of weight loss expert myself, but the vindictive advice I seem to get is just that..vindictive and useless.

mlb929

I think that the idea of someone saying they are on a diet is intimidating to people who aren't, so they say what they think is going to help you. It is them really just admitting that they don't have the motivation to actually do it. I just smile and say thanks, or ask if they want to join me as you can always use support. I really believe that they think they are helping you somehow.

I avoid this by simply never mentioning it. I make better choices, without making a big deal of it. Sure, my boss teases me when we are at lunch and I order my salad without cheese or dressing, I just tell them to put it on his because he's already fat he needs to maintain it. It breaks the tension by making jokes about it.

margie_77

I get the same thing allllll the time! I lost 27 pounds in the last 3 months of last year, but have been on a platau so far this year.

EVERYONE at work asks me 'how much have you lost now?"
me, "still at 27 pounds"
EVERYBODY "what you need to do is...."
me, "oh, have you had a similar problem while working out atleast an hour a day 5 days a week and watching your calories?" EVERYBODY 'no'.

Then what are you basing this advice on? Where did you come up with this plan for me? Thanks, but I'll get it. With wanted advice from my very knowledable friends here that have been through it!

End rant! hahhahaha

TLW77

I have learned that lesson myself a long time ago. I had a similar situation but mine dealt with people who probably needed to lose weight themself and a few that needed to gain a few to look healthy. At first I wanted to talk about what I was going through with them and then came the advice. They weren't really "helping" me at all, it actually made it worse! Now I only talk about my weight lose journey with close friend and family that I know don't try to give me "if would just do this you would lose weight" advice. They give me the encouragement that I need to go forward. Good luck to you and hopefully you have some close friends or family that will give you encouragement instead of "crapvice"

melzteach

I agree. I've got my exercise under control but find it it extremely difficult to eat healthy when others around you aren't! We eat out after church every Sunday and 9 times out of 10 it fast food. Since I'm exercising so much I can usually find something to eat but that's not the point. It's hard to drink, and enjoy, my water when everyone else is drinking gigantic sodas! Avoiding temptation is hard enough as it is. With any other addiction you have to get away from it and never be around it again. You just can't do that with food!

barberella

I just had to rant about this because where else can I do it? My rant has to appeal to someone on here, and guess what? it does. I don't mean to come off negative, but I just don't have a lot of support in this area. I ***** to my boyfriend, and he agrees; he sees it with our friends. But since he's not on this journey with me, he could probably give two ****s. He just listens and nods...

But most of my friends just love to give me advice. They just love to tell me how they had lost weight in the past and this is how they have done it, etc...Really? Then why are you 50 pounds heavier? Or one close friend in particular, she solely believes she would be skinny as they come if she gave up soda. Well, what about the drive thrus, everything white, everything fried, and the sweets in between I see her eating? But she's got the lowdown on the advice....Okay, I'm done ranting. I think I'll eat my BLT now...

BeckyJill7

Oh man, I am going through that right now- at this very moment. We're having a potluck lunch. I made turkey taco meat and every single person made a comment about me being "so healthy" and "health conscious" like it was a disease. I have lost 16 lbs and worked very hard to get here. One lady made a comment about how I'm shrinking and kind of gave me a dirty look. WTH! Maybe a word of encouragement or a "way to go"

Sorry- venting over.

happy friday

barberella

I also think that when we say "dieting", others tend to think of it as temporary. I don't really look at what I'm doing as "dieting", but I'm not going to go into detail how I'm on a journey to a healthier lifestyle, etc, and explain all the things I am doing, so I just say I'm dieting or watching what I eat. With that being said, I agree. They act like we contracted some disease, for christ's sake! But the best part about what you're doing, what we're all doing, is to just own it. Be proud of what we're doing because we're actually DOING it. We aren't just talking about it, or getting ready to do it. We're there! We're motivated. And that's a huge step in itself. It took me a lot to get here, and I'm effin proud of myself for finally getting over my dumbass excuses and my fat *kitten*! And we just might inspire someone else to do the same with our infectious inspiration!

anubis609

You're entitled to rant, just as everyone is entitled to believe they have every piece of [I-don't-take-my-own] advice to offer those on a lifestyle change that seems to be god-forbidden to them. I don't ever consider it "advice" from someone who's never actually done what I have. Though, there are many ways to handle those kinds of scenarios.

You could either do the passive-aggressive agreement method where you politely smile and agree that it's something you'll try, all the while end every positive response you give with a mental, "Yeah, right. Fat *kitten*."

You could give them snarky remarks and let them know they have no place to tell you how to live a healthy lifestyle when they ooze cholesterol.

Or you could put yourself on a pedestal and consider that they're probably jealous of the fact that you're committed to your new lifestyle, and maybe they're projecting all of the same advice they've been told to do, but never did, because they didn't have the willpower to even start or continue.

Personally, I believe haters come in all forms. And that's what they do best. They hate on successful people. If there weren't any haters, successful folk wouldn't have anyone to impress. Just keep doing you. Learn to love the attention. Good or bad. If you feel they're talkin' **** about you, that means they can't stop thinkin' about you.

I loved all my haters. And they loved to hate me. Now I have none. I should get some more. Haha.