Light bulb moment?

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Gizmo52
Gizmo52 Posts: 43
in Motivation and Support
Don't know if many of you have ever had that lightbulb moment - but today something just hit me.

In my entire adult life I have been the person that others can count on - me doing for them, helping them out. I thought things would be give and take in a friendship but that is where my problem began.

Guess being bigger most of my life, I've come to expect that my thoughts, problems and ideas just don't matter much to anyone. Like me they were unworthy. I'm suppose to give to others without expecting friendship OR anything in return.

Just thought that somewhere it would turn around for me. Thought sometime I would find that friend (male or femaie) that thought me worthy enough to be friends with and not just when they need something like money, a baby sitter, or a gift that if they hint around they know I'll end up buying for them. I don't need to buy friendship - so why is that the role I'm playing?

I can tell when friends at work or home need to talk and I will ask what is wrong and be there for them - but I'll be damn if that is ever turned around for me. Even if they ask and I start telling them what I'm working through somehow it always ends up listening or solving one of their problems.

So, I figured out about 9 years ago that all I had in this life to depend on was myself and my little pup Gizmo. He is the one thing that makes me get up in the morning because he needs to be fed or let outside. Why I ever let my guard and walls down are beyond me - but I think I'm buying some concrete and bricks and up the walls go again. Don't need the pain and dissappointment any more.

Replies

  • LFern
    LFern Posts: 141
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    Oh hon reading this made me so sad :sad:

    You WILL be rewarded some day! God is watching your every sweet moment! :flowerforyou:

    Don't stop being the sweet person you are because you feel people don't appreciate you - you may be pleasantly surprised some day :heart: If they come to you for someone to listen, it's obviously because they feel your love & compassion.

    I too give and give and give. I have gone to the trouble of setting up a benefit for someone and then been contacted by a lawyer because they accused me of "misappropriating funds" . . . THAT knocked the wind right out of me like being socked in the stomach. Sometimes we just have to sort through who we think is worth our time a little bit more thoroughly.

    But do NOT compromise who you are because of the users or the ingrates!

    Gizmo is a very smart animal - seeing all the kindness and goodness and beauty in you. When you begin seeing that beauty in yourself - others will maybe appreciate it more. You sound like a very special person - one of God's finest :happy:

    Be true to yourself. A kind heart is so hard to find - please keep sharing it with others so you don't miss out on that ONE that may return that kindness!

    :flowerforyou:
  • jazzhottie
    jazzhottie Posts: 45
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    I agree with LFern. Do not compromise who you are because the selfishness of others. I am exactly the same way. Your post sounded exactly like me. I know it can be frustrating to deal with users.

    Its good to create healthy boundaries with friends and acquaintances. But a cement brick wall will just leave you out in the cold. You may not have to give any of yourself, but you will also not be open to what people want to give to you.

    Be patient there are people out there who will love and appreciate you for exactly who you are. I know they are hard to find. I can only count two people in my life that truly understand me and love me for who I am.

    Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • freerange
    freerange Posts: 1,722 Member
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    Sorry to hear about your hurt. People can be turds, but don't let that turn you into one too. Just keep being as nice and giving as you always have, your rewards are waiting for you, it may come in this life, and it my not.

    My advice (althought I know you didn't ask) join like minded groups, Church, craft clubs, whatever, and you will find people you can lean on, when you need it. And never stop giving, never, never, never stop giving, you will get it all back and more, you have to trust, and not expect it, and you have to be open to the rewards, sometimes you don't even know you received them.
  • jazzhottie
    jazzhottie Posts: 45
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    [/quote] ... join like minded groups, Church, craft clubs, whatever, and you will find people you can lean on, when you need it. And never stop giving, never, never, never stop giving, you will get it all back and more, you have to trust, and not expect it, and you have to be open to the rewards, sometimes you don't even know you received them.
    [/quote]

    I like this. Good advice! :-)

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