My boyfriend doesn't like the new me HELP!!!

TurtlesRule
TurtlesRule Posts: 53
edited September 23 in Motivation and Support
Guys and Ladies Please help!! My boyfriend is against my wieghtloss goals and says if I lose any more he will dump me:brokenheart: ?? I've only lost 3lbs so far...Makes no sense I was 20lbs lighter when we met :sad: What can I tell him or do??
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Replies

  • amycal
    amycal Posts: 646 Member
    personally I say it's time for a new boyfriend. Sorry
  • princessputz
    princessputz Posts: 283 Member
    personally I say it's time for a new boyfriend. Sorry

    Agreed! He should support you no matter what.
  • dawnkitchen
    dawnkitchen Posts: 161
    Have a serious talk / go to couples counseling / get a new boyfriend.

    There's no reason you should endure any negativity for trying to be healthier person.
  • jreseburg
    jreseburg Posts: 1
    . You have to decide, what is best for YOUR life. Any boyfriend worth his salt should support what is best for you.
  • AggieCass09
    AggieCass09 Posts: 1,867 Member
    time for a new boyfriend!
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    personally I say it's time for a new boyfriend. Sorry

    Agreed! He should support you no matter what.

    I gotta third that. Sorry. He sounds very insecure. :frown: My ex constantly sabotaged me. Been there, done that, and you notice I said EX.
  • emmaleigh47
    emmaleigh47 Posts: 1,670 Member
    Wow thats horrid! If he is that into appearances he probably doesnt love the real you deep inside. My husband would love and put up with me no matter the size, and he has seen me at all of them. Sounds unhealthy ... im sorry you put up with that!
  • NightOwl1
    NightOwl1 Posts: 881 Member
    I second the call for a new boyfriend. If a man can't appreciate you for who you are and what you want to be, he's a chump. You're a beautiful girl, and you'll find plenty of better men out there if he doesn't wise up and support you.
  • hippygeeza
    hippygeeza Posts: 9 Member
    i say he doesnt deserve u and u should come out for a drink with me instead :O) lol
  • rmplteazer
    rmplteazer Posts: 2
    Dump him...don't ever let a man (or boy) tell you how you should look or feel honey.
  • Fgillies
    Fgillies Posts: 194
    He is probably intimidated by your new attention to your weight/workouts etc. I know i just talked with my boyf the other night...I said, hey, i hope you dont mind weve switched things up a bit, and were staying home for dinner now..we only saw eachother 2 times last week, and once was for like an hour. But he knows its important to me, and he actually started going to the gym with me, and even SUGGESTED we get the fat free cheddar ( lol)

    So maybe include him? If he doesnt have weight to lose, or is already in shape, tell him you'd love his support so you can get in the best shape possible too. Maybe he is feeling lack of attention..

    if not....bon voyage - not worth your time. This is for your health... :)
  • HeatherShrinking
    HeatherShrinking Posts: 776 Member
    Is your goal within a healthy BMI for you?

    If it is, dump him. No one needs to be given ultimatums. You deserve better!

    If it isn't, maybe he is just concerned for your health.
  • quara
    quara Posts: 255 Member
    Agreed! Why would he be trying to keep you down? He must have some issues with himself, not you, so don't listen to him. It would just be the start of living a life you're not happy with!!
  • FitJoani
    FitJoani Posts: 2,173 Member
    personally I say it's time for a new boyfriend. Sorry
    agreed also he s terribly insecure!!!!
  • cmw72
    cmw72 Posts: 390 Member
    He says if you lose any more weight he'll dump you?

    That sounds like a problem that will soon resolve itself ...
  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    Well if you like controlling freaks that tell you what to do, when to do it or when to stop, then stop losing weight.

    If you like being control of you life and your health tell him your going to lose the weight and if he don't like then "kick rocks" and you will find someone that supports you.
  • CuteMommy88
    CuteMommy88 Posts: 538 Member
    time to move on!! what a douche!!!
  • emmaleigh47
    emmaleigh47 Posts: 1,670 Member
    He says if you lose any more weight he'll dump you?

    That sounds like a problem that will soon resolve itself ...

    LOL Chris! I love it... :)
  • Ben2118
    Ben2118 Posts: 571 Member
    personally I say it's time for a new boyfriend. Sorry

    what she said.
  • Claudia007
    Claudia007 Posts: 878 Member
    Agreed! he's insecure and you do not need that! If losing weight is what YOU want, DO IT. He does not own you! And, I bet he will not dump you if you do lose 20lbs. He's trying to control you. Don't fall for it.
  • Adriaedwards
    Adriaedwards Posts: 4
    there are better fish in the sea! You need to look out for YOU! and no one else :)
  • Shash27
    Shash27 Posts: 172
    Agreed. Time for a new boyfriend. You deserve support and if he's being THAT insecure and awful show him the door.
  • huneyb007
    huneyb007 Posts: 6
    Relationships should be more than skin deep. If you were underweight I would understand his concern!!!

    But this is about his own insecurities... threatening to dump you is simply childish and "emotional blackmail".

    He obviously has his fears, but usually this type of behaviour is about controlling you, Owning you and making sure no one else would ever want you... (well at least making you think that way)

    Relationships are about trust... if he doesn't trust you then he doesn't deserve you either. Talk to him. If he can't be rational, be careful. It's up to you where you go with the relationship, but even the hardest woman can slowly be erroded by this type of attitude.
  • rebawagner
    rebawagner Posts: 199 Member
    What is his reason? Is he worried you may be getting to thin? I could understand if he is worried your weight loss may be getting out of contol and he just doesn't know a better way to communicate that. Now, if that is NOT the case. I would reccommend you take a hard look at your future together and see if this is really someone you WANT to be with. Its not his choice, its YOURS!
  • TurtlesRule
    TurtlesRule Posts: 53
    Yes it is right at the border line Im considered "obese" right now because of my hieght :blushing:
  • foxfirekenzie
    foxfirekenzie Posts: 244 Member
    OH NO HE DIDN"T!

    That boy needs to be kicked to the curb! Any partner that tries to control you like that doesn't belong in your life. I say no go on that guy.

    Be you. Be strong. Ditch the boy.
  • sixxbaby
    sixxbaby Posts: 543
    dump him....
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
    Is your goal within a healthy BMI for you?

    If it is, dump him. No one needs to be given ultimatums. You deserve better!

    If it isn't, maybe he is just concerned for your health.

    I'd have to agree with this one.... Granted giving you an ultimatum was dumb on his part, but sometimes people are worried and they just want to force you to do what they think is right.


    *Edit: Noticed you answered this question lol. So then ya...next time he says that, I'd say ok, if that's what you want...bye.
  • larousse_37
    larousse_37 Posts: 80
    I'm going to play devils advocate here... Where are you at regarding BMI right now? Is it possible he's just concerned for you, or prefers his women curvier? It's pretty messed he said he'll dump you though, sounds rather shallow to me. My boyfriend is always monitoring my weight loss as he really dislikes skinny girls, but if he made that kind of ultimatum, I'd probably leave!!
  • Pinoy_Pal
    Pinoy_Pal Posts: 280 Member
    ANYONE who uses "ending a relationship" as a bargaining chip needs to be shown the door! Can you really expect a successful relationship with someone who has that kind of a mindset? This is a major sign, and it's right in front of your face. The question is, will you truly notice it? Good luck....
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