Ex wife issues/questions

tater8589

My parents divorced in 2001 after being married for 25 years. I can't imagine what it's like to go through losing your partner, but I can tell you what it's like to see your parents split up. My mom filed for divorce and the separation was more or less amicable. However she does still contact my dad after all this time. It's not everyday or even every month, but she does call when it's his birthday or around the holidays. Of course she also gets in touch with him if there is a medical issue going on or if there is some sort of big news about me or my sister. If I were you, I would ask your ex to limit her communication to issues like these. There is no reason to talk on a daily basis after a divorce unless you have very small children that are constantly reaching milestones.

On the other hand, don't let communication dwindle to the point that you go years without speaking. It's important for your kids to know that when push comes to shove your parents can at least be friendly to each other. Otherwise one of you will become the bad guy in their eyes. One day your kids will be old enough to graduate from high school, graduate from college, get married and have babies. They will want both of you there for those big events.

I can add to this a lil bit. My parents divorced when I was 8. It was hard on me. My parents separated on poor terms (my dad is a jerk-- long story short) and don't have much if anything to do with eachother. When I finaly graduated basic training I wanted both there to see me. I had to tell both of them " I am the child here, you are both adults and its been 15 year, Grow up and act nice. If you don't want to, then sit at opposite ends of the table and don't talk to eachother," It was hard talking to my mom that way, but it had to be done. We had a good dinner and I got to see both my parents before I left.