Fed up with the whole weight loss thing

lizzie4015

Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard!

well see post below, still new at this lol

jennifer3998

Can I please point out to a lot of people that ONE bad day, ONE day of lacking motivation and feeling down doesn't mean that someone isn't ready to have a surgery like this or is clinically depressed- it means they're having a bad day! How about showing some support instead of being so judgmental! Usually on boards on this site, I've seen nothing but support for the OP, but I feel like some people are being really rude to Shanny! One day of wanting to say "Forget it, I'm eating the crap burger" isn't the end of the world. She's not saying she went out and ate the 1900 calorie sandwich and cheesecake; she's saying she's tempted! How about offer some motivation rather than chastise someone when they're already having a hard time staying motviated!!!

If you're talking to me I thought I was pretty supportive! I'm asking smart questions about before and after counseling! And offered some motivation. I fail to see what is so negative about what I wrote.

lizzie4015

borrowed this hope you don't mind! very well said, I hate shopping for clothes more than trying to eat right. good luck to ya!

Fgillies

It's okay to have those bad days, those days you just want to stay in your PJ's and eat everything in sight, and it's even okay to feel like you want to give up...but it's what you do with those thoughts that can really make an impact. I had a TERRIBLE day the other day, gained back the 3 lbs i lost my first week, and said screw it, i'm eating what i want...this mental block ruined my day..But thankfully, I had MFP. I know it sounds dumb, but there are so many *strangers* here ready to support you, who have/had experiences JUST LIKE YOU, that it really did save my week. Normally i probably would have tumbled and had an awful time pulling myself back up, but my new found support system was here. I got up the next day and got back on track. You CAN do it, and you WILL do it. Someone else mentioned, you must want the success if you posted, and i know we dont know eachother, but i have felt your same pain for years. It's a daily struggle,and will continue to be. I have lost 113 lbs over the last 5 years, and it has been a tough, rewarding, lesson learned, crying fest of emotions...I am not at my goal yet, but i see in YOU, what i see in myself. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You have an unlimited resource of support right here on MFP....

Get you that sandwhich...take a few bites, and put it in the fridge, you need to live your life while "dieting" or changing your lifestyle as you would normally...if you deprive yourself, your going to end up binging, and mentally (possibly physically) feeling worse than you started.

~ YOU GOT THIS!

vanillasugar

I think we all have days when we get fed up with dieting/exercise/eating right/watching calories. It IS hard. But like someone else said, being overweight is hard too and you do have to pick which "hard" you can live with. You DO have choices. Someone mentioned having half the sandwich or half the sandwich and half the cheesecake and the other half another day. I would go so far as to say (and some may disagree) take a day off. I do this every once in a while and others do as well. But plan for it. Eat light for breakfast, light lunch, put in a vigorous workout. Have the whole sandwich and the slice of cheesecake. Enjoy it and do not feel guilty. Will you go over your cals for the day? Most assuredly. Will it be the end of the world? No. Get back on track the next day. Maybe even try to then stay under your cals a few days to make up for the overage.

The key in my opinion is always always getting back on track. I don't believe everyone eats exactly the way they should every. single. day. But the ones who are successful get back on track after indulging. Don't deny yourself the things you love. Just don't indulge yourself every day or even every week.

You've already taken steps and looks like you've already had some success. You can have many more successes if you want them. :flowerforyou:

Silky815

I agree with O-malley. I have a very good friend that had the gastric bypass. She had to lose quite a bit of weight, even before she could have it done. She had that surgery and a gallbladder surgery done at the same time. She is doing wonderful, and with learning everything she has learned, she is now going to school to learn extra to help others out in the weight loss area. Don't get yourself down. Remember why you are doing this, and that all you are doing, will definitely pay off in the end. You are doing this, so you like how you feel and how you look. Keep your chin up. There are so many people here to support you. It is tough, but you shouldn't give up. Good luck to you.

MalTru

Jennifer, no it wasn't directed at you. Well, the clinically depressed thing- I think that's a very big snap judgment based on this post, but you did continue on with good, helpful questions/comments. There are a handful of posts that don't really offer motivation or help, but just seem harsh towards the OP, IMO.

jennifer3998

Jennifer, no it wasn't directed at you. Well, the clinically depressed thing- I think that's a very big snap judgment based on this post, but you did continue on with good, helpful questions/comments. There are a handful of posts that don't really offer motivation or help, but just seem harsh towards the OP, IMO.

Thanks. I only wrote that about being depressed because it was an overall feeling I got reading the entire post. I didn't mean to make a judgment. I just hope the poster is emotionally ready for surgery. I can only imagine how trying that journey will be. And of course satisfying at the end.

I would never intentionally write anything negative without good intent.

Shanny - if you live in a cold climate like me, I bet this freezing weather is also not helping!!!!!

DoubleO7

We ALL get into a “Slump” like that once in a while, but you have to give yourself a chance girl. Think deep down “WHY” you started this program in the first place. Was it because you were happy with your weight issues (of course not) so you started doing something about!!… And what a reward it is… Think about it, you’re loosing weight, you have to be feeling better inside, and your energy has to be better so “LOOK AT THE REWARD IT’S GIVING YOU” :bigsmile:

If you want to deviate just once in a while, well DO IT!! But please remember don’t stress over some small deviation as this build up on cortisol. Cortisol and stress don’t go hand in hand. Eating healthy 80% of the time is recommended by most dieticians and nutritionist as myself. I allow myself a treat (or cheat meal not cheat day) once in a while but I get back right on track THE SAME DAY (not the day after).

Taking good care of our health is our priority if we want to live a long and healthy life.
With all of this said…..Go out with your friends and enjoy LIFE. :flowerforyou:

To YOUR health

Cheers

jennifer3998

Jennifer, no it wasn't directed at you. Well, the clinically depressed thing- I think that's a very big snap judgment based on this post, but you did continue on with good, helpful questions/comments. There are a handful of posts that don't really offer motivation or help, but just seem harsh towards the OP, IMO.

Thanks. I only wrote that about being depressed because it was an overall feeling I got reading the entire post. I didn't mean to make a judgment. I just hope the poster is emotionally ready for surgery. I can only imagine how trying that journey will be. And of course satisfying at the end.

I would never intentionally write anything negative without good intent.

Shanny - if you live in a cold climate like me, I bet this freezing weather is also not helping!!!!!

vals83

You're having a bad ayand you're entitled, its a ton of freaking work.

I was feeling like that a week ago...I was just feeling sorry for myself and I found my self being defiant and not really logging all my calories or not logging at all. I just not giving a f***k cuz it's exhausting and tidious and it sucks that we have to go through that and theres soooooo many people who dont have the problem with food that we do, you're not depressed, its not that you're not ready for surgery, you're in a mood and you're allowed it. I admire the people that have good days all the time good for them. but I have days where I get tired of thinking about what I need to eat what I can't blah blah blah.

What changed for me (and yes this is cheesy) I saw an episode of "I Use To Be Fat" and it was an episode with a girl who seemed to share my same struggles with not wanting to be the "fat friend" tired of being the biggest girl in the room. I related to her soooo much. What clicked for me was when she reached a goal she busted her butt for. Seeing her happiness and achievment reminded me why I do what I do, why I fight so hard. It reminded me of the goals I've acheived. Being able to fit in to a size 8 when only 2 years ago I was an 18

People who haven't had to lose more than 20lbs wont understand what it feels like. How hard the fight is. How bad habits haunt every day. But, friend, you keep fighting because those same people wont no what its like to accomplish something so great as seeing you're body transform in to something you never thought it could be.

Have your bad day, maybe treat yourself one time a month to that sandwich. I allow my self a free meal once a week. It gives me a reason to stay on track, gives me something to look forward to and doesn't make me feel like I can never indulge again!


I've lost a total of 55lbs and I've got another 25 to go. You can do it! And bravo for being honest, not hiding what you're feeling is the healthiest thing you could do

mchorens

Shany,
I have felt that a million times over. I had a lapband in 2008, lost 50 lbs. and then some trauma occurred and the slow backslide began. I empathize with how you feel. It sucks for all the reasons that you have listed and probably a hundred more. It is about you being healthy. I have no real words that may flip the switch for you. Just know that you matter enough to keep it up and take care of things right now in this moment. Not for the day, or the week or the month, just right now.
I am starting over again, but for me it has about getting things right in my head, more than what I eat. Food is only fuel, not for pleasure. It is still hard for me to seperate the two. I guess I just want you to know, you are not alone. I feel the same way and have felt the same way before. Feel it and let it go. I bet if you went and had that sandwich and cheesecake, you would feel no better than you do right now. At least, that is my experience. I wish you success and hope you are feeling better later today or tomorrow and able to move forward!

Ashia1317

I'm sorry, but I LOVE THIS POST!!! I think EVERYONE feels this way sometimes and one person finally spoke out and vented. YOU GO GIRL! I hope this helped you. It helped me! I feel this way from time to time. I get frustrated. I keep working out and eating the best I can, but sometimes our bodies don't want to work with us.

I hope this venting helped you and I hope you can keep up the fight!!!

GOOD LUCK :flowerforyou:

margie_77

Just for the record. I did not have surgery I went to the info meeting about it and decided that I would rather choose what I'm going to eat each day not choose today what I'm going to eat everyday for the rest of my life. hahaha

mjd0109

That is A LOT of calories for a sandwich but if you want it, you want it. That could be one reason you are feeling so down, because you are telling yourself you can never have that again but that's not true! Have a cheat day! Foods like those just need to be restricted a lot. If that is your most favorite food in the whole wide world, go get it - once a month. Then spend an extra 10 minutes walking on the tread mill, park as far away as you can from the restaurant when you go to get it, eat half for lunch and the other half for dinner, be flexible. You dont have to completely cut these foods out forever, just be smart! And like someone else said, try making it yourself. Vegetarian bacon is like 70 calories for 2 slices and a ridiculous amount of protein, and it tastes like real bacon! honest! good luck and get out if your slump, hit the gym a little harder today and you'll feel better.

jbootman

please I beg you get a copy of 'The End of Overeating' by Kessler, well written, scientifically credible, he was head of gov dept,

he knows the food industry and how it has addicted us to the triangle of fat-salt-sugar, creating food addicts like us,

the brain has been flooded with the wrong hormonal freeways linking friends and food, shopping and food, happiness and food, love and food,

like the previous poster said--things are going to be worse after your surgery,

so what to do?

read the book, it at least makes you aware of cravings, where they come from and why,

then you can make a plan, not just log in each bite, but a plan of what you will eat tomorrow, maximize your nutrients, your portions, at least until your surgery,

make trades that you like,

I wanted a tuna sandwich for lunch each day, substituting rice cakes saved me calories, using more celery made my portion larger filling my stomach, finding water pack tuna with very low sodium, trying low salt cottage cheese then using Fage nonfat yogurt for tuna sandwich binder worked for me, each person needs to tweek what they like,

weigh everything, the apple I thought was one portion ended up being the weight of 2 portions so I at least 'knew' what I was eating,

yes it is boring, but Kessler as well as Dr. Oz recommends boring for breakfast and lunch, making dinner a little more interesting,

each breakfast the same, of course occasionally, like every month or so there will be the odd brunch, but work on your perfect breakfast, mine became FiberOne cereal, almond milk, a serving of fruit, boiled egg whites only and coffee, marvelous, but this is my breakfast,

then work on your perfect lunch, yes the same thing each day, easy to log with the short-cup-same as yesterday log-in,

I learned to add mushrooms and celery to add the feeling of lots of food, at my weight I wanted lots of food,

I searched for the foods with the max fiber and lowest calories, choosing the ones I like,

this is war, gird your loins, you are not alone, now give yourself a kiss and have another drink of water :flowerforyou:

shannygoat

Thanks guys for the support and for the telling me like it is.

I have to disagree with some; I am ready to have this surgery. I've worked my butt off for the last 7 months, learning how to build a different relationship with food. I am in therapy and an amazing family so yes, I have a good support system I'm just having a rough one. I haven't had a cigarette in almost 3 weeks ( I had to quit smoking for my surgery, too) and I'm cranky. It just sucks today. Being fat sucks today. Having to work at not being fat any more sucks today, too.

I thought I'd post here in lieu of hoping in my truck and driving to the Cheesecake Factory. Talking about it helped. I still want it, but having gotten it off my chest, not as much. If you were to put it in front of my face right now, I wouldn't turn it down!

Today's a bad day. We all have them. I appreciate you guys taking the time to talk me off of my Cheesecake Factory ledge. Tomorrow'll be better. Hell, lunch time will be better. I will eat my Yoplait Lowfait Red Velvet Yogurt and pretend it's a slice of Red Velvet cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory! I don't know. I just feels like some days I can do this. I have this eating right thing on lock. I'm proud of myself and I love how much better I feel. I love how my clothes fit differently. I love the energy I have. And then there's days like today where I'm like I don't give a crap about all that other stuff. This is hard and I'm tired of doing it. Skinny people don't have to do this. It's bad enough I'm fat, but I have to deal with this too. Really?

Urgh. Okay, I'm going to stop ranting now. This was supposed to be me saying thanks, but I'm can tell I'm about to go off again. So, until we talk again, I WILL NOT go to the Cheesecake Factory, and I WILL NOT give up.

But, I will still HATE this whole process, today!

Thanks, y'all!

loushep

I'm bumping this thread because i have so been feeling like giving in to temptation today and like i can't be bothered with this anymore. Reading these comments has made me remember why i decided to change my life and renew my fervour for a new me. We can all do it if we really want it, what's hard is remembering why we want it when the going gets tough. I'm glad i have all of you MFP'ers to remind me, THANKYOU :flowerforyou:

monica208

I get tired too... i always think to myself when will this end... when will it sink into my head to lose the weight and to just keep it off instead of yo-yoing like i always do... but then when i do lose the weight i will still have to watch what i eat b/c i gain so easily and i love junk... so unfortunetly for me this will never end... i wasnt born with a fast matablism but i will do it... cuase in the end the big picture is so much better then feeling depressed and feeling like a whale... it sucks right now but in the end it will all be worth it... someone said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels and i truely believe that and i hope to live it...
you can do it... its a struggle but we all struggle...w e are only human...

clewliss

(((hugs))) I've been where you are! Not today, but maybe tomorrow! I'm here for you today, so get over this hump because i may need you tomorrow:flowerforyou:

lloydrt

shanny, Been there done that, lol.......I know what youre saying as well. What worked for me, and again, this is what increased my motivation, was the look on my Primary Care Doctors' face when I got my blood work back in Feb 2010

not a pretty picture

Most everything was fair, other than my Triglicirides were at 110, and thats not good, its border line diabetes.......yuk, and my HDL and GLD sucked

so, for 11 months now , remembering that look on his face when he needed to have a " talk" with me about my weight has really really helped staying focused. Trust me, I know how difficult it is, but the rewards, for me, are just as soothing as your sandwich

Knowing my cholesterol is now 130, as oopsed to 170, my fasting sugars are 89, as opposed to 110, my blood pressure is now 110 / 60s,,,,,,,the benefits of being 120 lbs lighter after one year are unspeakable, I cant put into words how much BETTER I feel........I just cant

I know this Shanny...........lets not kid ourselves...........Obesity kills 100, 000 people a year, and kills over 60, 000 children a year........Diabetes is skyrocketing, kids are huge, and soon, I think in 2050, 2/3 of this country is going to be overweight.....

I love to eat, but I love being able to breath with out being short winded as I used to be, being able to work out 2 . 5 hours at the gym doing cardio, 1/2 hour medium weight strength training is so much more beneficial to me, as opposed to being scared I was going to die.....really Shany, I weight 350 lbs, and Im 55...........Do you see heart attack in my future?

Im in the best shape ever, I just fit into my 36 inch waisted pants, from a 52 inch waist........... Theres no food on this planet that made me feel as good, as when I slipped those pants on and was able to button the button

Youll get past this, trust me, I have been there too, but for me, and again, this applies to me..........I work out and diet because I dont want to die.............Good luck, add me as your friend.,,,,,,Lloyd

liv1980

You need to try and be positive. Exercise is the key as that way you can cheat now and again and not gain any weight. If you are on a strict diet without treating your self you will always go back to binge eating. Have you every considered Slimming World? You can eat what you want (healthy way of course) without counting any calories, points etc. check it out at www.slimmingworld.com.
I do slimming world, myfitnesspal and exercise and the weight is flying off
keep your chin up xx

mush1958

you might consider, "It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you". Might be something deeper here. as for having to "do something for life". If you were a diabetic, would you not take insulin for life to survive? Don't think of it as a life sentence, think of it as something that may very well save your life! Everything that is hard must be tackled one day at a time. The whole "lifetime" thing is WAY too overwhelming!

iamstaceywood

I agre with the pp who sad u aren't ready. Does your surgical team know this is how you feel? I'm not trying to beat up on you, just saying i don't think now is the time for you to have that surgery.
a 1900 calorie sandwich is never going to fit into anyones lifestyle.

barberella

I can totally feel you! And that's a lot of the reason I do not weigh myself. But it's true..a positive outlook is where it begins. I have found that when I beleive I will lose weight, every thing will fall into place..But it starts with my mental state first. Now, don't get me wrong, I would love the food you mentioned you really are craving. But think of it this way: if you went ahead and indulged in that, how guility would you feel afterwards? Probably pretty guilty, and is that worth it? Also, what helps me get through the day is that I try to do little exercises throughout my day at my office. I go to the copy machine and do a set of lunges. I lift a 5 pound dumbbell at my desk. I try to drink 8 glasses throughout the day despite how much I hate it. Then at lunch, I go to the downstairs gym and do something in there for 30-45 minutes.
But the biggest thing I have to reemphasize is the mental state. Once I got there believing I will lose weight, my mind is constantly on that. It makes me resist temptation because it took me so long to get here...And if you keep at it, it will all fall into place..

Kevalyn34

Again, I say thanks for sharing. We all have days like this even those who are being a little quick to judge that you aren't ready for your surgery. Obviously they aren't reading the same post. Everyone has an issue with their body image, from the smallest person to the largest person. And you will not feel like running through a field of flowers all the time. I love you for your honesty and I can't wait to hear about your success!

CasperO

Tough to do when there's a foot of snow on the ground, but here's what I do when I get hit with that.

Get up on saturday morning, have a nice little breakfast, then put a jug of ice water on my bicycle. Then ride across town, maybe up over the hill. Have a Clif bar for fuel. Ride some more, climb that big long pull up over Glendale drive. Sweat like a pig in a hotdog factory. Pump like H E double L for 2 hours or more. I don't mind doing this, I love to ride my bike.

Then go home, have a nice shower and clean up,,, and take the fam out for lunch any-&$% where I want and eat any #*$ thing I want with a clear consciense knowing I earned it.

It works...

BTW - for me it's the big seafood alfredo pasta at Olive Garden,,, every superman has his Kryptonite. You can do this, don't quit.

BADGIRLstl

You can't do the same thing and expect results. You have to UNDO all what you have done.My favorite saying is, GET your MIND right and the rest will follow. Commit to yourself! F' that sandwich (sorry for the language). That sandwich is temporary gratification! Honey you are soooooo worth it,

reneeot

Me too!! But "I have no desire to go back to my old way of eating." I want to be at my goal weight, that's what I'm fed up about. It helped when I quit obsessing about it. I started to just be balanced. Not overdueing. Not overly restrictive. I quit weighing daily.

2nd thing: I took pictures and measured when I first started and have been taking pictures every 2 months or so. Although I feel I've made no change, the measurements and photo's say otherwise.

It's been 10 months...I've only lost 14lbs. But because of consistently maintaining good eating habits, I've lost a lot of body fat and am much smaller in size although the weight loss is minimal.

So weight loss is not coming easy for me but I'm glad I had made a permanent change in eating despite the slow results.

You will do great but you have to keep going!!!

:-)

reenyb

borrowed this hope you don't mind! very well said, I hate shopping for clothes more than trying to eat right. good luck to ya!

You're more than welcome - i heard it a weight watchers meeting years ago and it sums up my struggles perfectly! Good luck and hopefully the hards will get a bit easier along the way