The Amputation Diet

TiniTurtle

i came across this a few years ago & got a kick out of it ) enjoy!

::The Amputation Diet::

Procedure- Estimated Immediate Weight Loss
Clip finger and toenails- 1 ounce maximum
Haircut- 2-6 ounces
Drastic Haircut / Head shave- 4-12 ounces
Trim Body Hair- 1 oz. (ladies) 3 oz. (men) 24 lbs (Greek/Italian men)
Remove a wart- 1 oz.
Take a diuretic- 1-3 pounds (temporary)
Take a laxative- 1-2 pounds (temporary)
Colon Therapy / Take an Enema- 2-3 pounds (temporary)
Poop- 0-2 pounds (temporary)
Run a marathon on a hot day- 3 lbs (women), 5 lbs (men) (temporary)
Amputate your arm- 10-25 lbs (way too permanent)
Amputate your leg- 15-45 lbs (again, not advised)
Vasectomy- none
Take a big pee- up to 1.5 pounds
Take a HUGE dump- up to 2.5 pounds
Go barefoot- 1-2 pounds
Go Naked- 1-8 pounds (summer vs. winter)
Contact lenses vs. Glasses- 0.3 pounds
No liquids all day- 1-2 pounds
No food all day- 2-3 pounds
No salt all day- 0-1 pound
Don't wear underwear- 1 oz. (thong) -2 lbs. (granny panties)
Exfoliating face wash- nothin'
Liposuction- 10 lbs maximum per surgery
Donate a kidney- 3 pounds.
Breast Reduction Surgery- 5-15 pounds typically


i got this from http://www.faddiet.com/amputationdiet.html which happens to have a few real & decent fad diets on the site too )

MissingMinnesota

Don't wear underwear- 1 oz. (thong) -2 lbs. (granny panties)

:laugh: :laugh:

meggonkgonk

LMAO!!!!

bubblie117

This cracked me up! Thanks for posting it haha! :laugh:

WalkingGirl1985

I had my haircut and lost a pound the next day a while back. :laugh:

themommie

LOL thanks for the good laugh. I now know how to lose weight

gdotman

This is way to funny

caitlinlws

oh good, I can just cut off an arm and my weight loss goal will be met!!!! :laugh:

CarolHudson11

Damn! And here I've been working this hard for NOTHING! lmao!!!

loria30

I was wondering how much more weight I'd lose once I got my haircut this weekend... :-)

fullofhope

I've been blowing my nose all day. Whadda think that will get me? lol