I need advice...

CorydonCutie

Maybe someone has been in my position. I grew up with very unhealthy eating habits. Dinners were full of foods that were not good for you. After my dad passed my mom and I ate out every meal because she didn't want to cook. Veggies weren't even in my vocabulary. Now that I'm grown and have 3 children of my own, I have always encouraged them to try new things, and even cooked veggies that they liked and made myself eat some too because I wanted to set a good example. I never make them clean their plates, but if they want treats later, they need to have ate a sufficient amount of "good foods". If they haven't I will warm them up a small plate of leftovers.

Now, to my problem...I am having a problem getting my kids on board with my healthy eating. I was literally shocked when I took my 15 year old daughter to the doctor and she weighed almost 160 pounds. My 12 year old son isn't far behind her at 145. My daughter is built as such that she carries her weight well so she isn't teased, and my son does wrestling so him being a little overweight is not noticeable either. My 8 year old is a rail...but then so were my other 2 when they were little. I don't think it is so much the foods that I am feeding them because they are eating the same thing I am eating. However, they always want seconds and sometimes thirds so portion is definitely an issue. When I measure out my food, my daughter teases me that I am going to become anorexic to which I reply, I measured out one serving and one serving is all a person needs. They eat lunch at school so it's probably junk, and whenever they get money as a gift you would think they would want to buy clothes or video games but they always buy a butt load of junk food. Chips, donuts, cookies, snack cakes and soda. I haven't said anything so far because it is their money, not mine.

I have to find a way to approach my kids with what lies in their future but I don't want them to think that I think they are fat. They aren't fat, but they are a bit overweight. I know that overweight people tend to get passed over for jobs, have poor self esteem, are perceived as slobs or out of control, not to mention the negative health issues. I don't want the things that have plagued me most of my life to haunt them the rest of theirs. I just need some thoughts or advice or just to know someone read my long winded vent.

I've taken back control of my life...how can I stress the importance for them to take back control of their lives?

WifeMomDVM

Unfortunately,

I think you are doing all that you can. Set an example. That's what we as parents do. They are still watching, even if they don't seem supportive. If you stick with your new healthy habits, your body will respond, you will be happier, feel better, etc.... and they WILL notice the difference.

They may not be interested in their health at this chapter in their lives, but believe me as the clock ticks, one day they will be. And hopefully you will still be around to guide them then. In the mean time, do what you can, cook healthy meals don't buy junk in the house.

Maybe have a heart to heart with them. Lay your cards on the table, that you realize you haven't always been healthy your entire life and now you are making a change and you would like for them to be more health concious too. It's worth a shot.

My 3 year old, who is not overweight ALWAYS wants second helpings and dessert, we are constantly telling her no. Right now she is young enough that we can control what she eats, but not forever. Hopefully when we can't the basics will be in place that she can make the right decision on her own.

mayana2002

How about each day one cooks dinner? You help them but one is the chef that night! Pasta with real tomatoes and spinach with baked chicken is easy. So they will start eating real good food an be proud of it because they cooked!
Each week you all sit and decide whta will be cooked that week and who will do, the next step is make a list of ingredients and all of you will go shopping together! Make them part of it as you learn as well! It is never too late and you guys will have fun as a family!

loseit4good52

I congratulate you first of all for wanting to eat healthy and wanting your kids to do the same. I think the best thing you can do is let them see you eating healthy. And also making healthy snacks all ready to eat in the fridge...cut up veggies, cheese wedges, cut up apples, etc. With my 11 year old son, he will eat good when I eat good......they seem to copy what you eat. It did take time though for him to catch on, so be patient! I also do not keep UN-healthy snacks in my house anymore. They will eat what is there if they are hungry enough. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

markymarrkk

Habits take time to develop and so will breaking them...your on the right track. slowly they will come around.....keep junk out of the house. keep living by the example and eventually it will work

jenners22

I understand what you're going through to an extent. My son was just diagnosed with Type I Diabetes just days before he turned 12. This makes him insulin dependent so he's got to count the carbs he eats and take insulin to cover it. His problem is also portion control and eating junk. I make what I make for dinner and dish it up and then put leftovers away before calling him to the table for dinner. When he says he wants second...I give him cucumbers or carrots with a low carb onion dip. He doesn't like it but once he's done eating it...he's actually full. His problem is that he eats faster than anyone I've ever known. He doesn't give his brain enough time to realize that he's full. The veggies help.

It is still a struggle though, everyday. He's growing fast (tall wise) so I can't NOT feed him but I make sure there is a good mix of food groups.

krisk60

I have 3 boys, 16, 14 and 8 who would eat me out of house and home if I let them. Last year I started serving on plates in the kitchen and then bringing the plates to the table, trying very hard to cook just enough for everyone to have a serving. I rarely have cookies and that kind of thing, and absolutley never have pop in the house. If the boys have people over I may buy 1 bottle of pop as a treat. At dinner the only beverage allowed is water. If after dinner anybody is still hungry the fridge is always stocked with fruits and veggies and there are no limits to what can be consumed. I try to bake once a week, so at least I know some of the treats I send to school with them are not full of preservatives.

I know the older two are eating crap with thier own $ during the day, but they know if it comes into the house I will ration it. Yes, it was thier $, but it is MY house. We talk about nutrition often and I ensure everyone is active. Keep them informed, provide good healthy meals while they are in the house, not much more you can do.

Good luck

melodyg

I think you've made a good start. I don't see that having seconds is an issue... even teenage girls have a higher metabolism and need more calories than adult women and teenage boys definitely do! Are they overweight for their heights? Just having weights is pretty subjective.

I would approach the issue with your son by talking about wrestling. I would bet that eating healthier would help him with that and he might even be able to go to coach for advice ( which is a whole different matter than mom decreeing it!)

Besides that... I DO think you have the right to dictate how they spend gift money... but I'd let them have some for the food. I think just as you wouldn't let them buy an inappropriate video game or revealing clothing you can say that they are not allowed to spend it all on junk food.

I wonder if taking lunch to school would be an option too, even just a few days a week. School lunches are SO bad for you... and know that as a teen I didn't even eat the school lunch and usually took the money and grabbed something from the snack/soda machines over waiting in line for greasy pizza.

I do think that getting them involved in cooking and that setting an example will make a huge difference. Even if they aren't where you are now in caring about their health, teaching them to prepare healthy food and what it is will only help them on down the road when they are older.

dwarfer22

Keep doing what you're doing. But I would take what you are doing for yourself and use it with them. If you measure your food, eat your food, and are satisfied with that amnt, then do it for them as well. I measure not only my food, but for my hubby and my kids. Why give them seconds and thirds of food that you know yourself they aren't really "hungry" for but probably just like the taste and want more of. They are older and while you can't control everything they do, you can encourage them to make better choices. Also, maybe share with them some of the negative experiences you have had as a result of being overweight. If you sit them down and have a frank discussion about it I don't think it would be a bad thing. Not saying something because you think they may be self conscious about it may be more harmful. I have talked to my parents about my childhood (thin til 12, then BAM!) and I told them flat out I woulda preferred they acted on what they were thinking instead of letting it go. Woulda saved me years of pain, bullying, and just feeling like crap about myself.

Maybe you can sit down together and make some lists of healthy food alternatives and food plans that everyone would be happy with and set specific amounts that would be eaten. Focus on implementing heatlthy eating as opposed to weight loss diets, that will take care of itself.

Don't forget as well the physical aspect. Maybe try to sneak in more activities with the you and the kids that get everyone moving. Have a Wii night, take a walk, go sledding, whatever you can do.

CorydonCutie

Thank you all for your responses. I really apprecaite it. What would you do if they buy junk food and sodas with their own money? Would you tell them no, would you suggest instead of buying a BIG bag of chips, to buy one of the individual serving bags? I just want to do what is right...my mom thought encouraging me was telling me "I'm not buying you bigger clothes. You will just have to look like a stuffed sausage." or "If you keep eating like that, you are going to be as big as the backside of a barn." Now keep in mind my mother has struggled all her life with her weight too. I just want to break the cycle, but I feel like I can only do so much. I don't buy junk foods. There is always fresh fruit, carrots and celery in the fridge. If they want junk, they buy it...I'm about ready to put a stop to it, but then I am taking control over their money which I don't think is fair...it is their money, and they aren't small children anymore. I mean in less than 3 years my daughter will be an adult.

cracky

I like the suggestion of making them cook a healthy meal one night a week - my mum forced me to cook when growing up and I hated it! But not I could not be more apprciative now because I know how to cook my own healthy meals every night. Mum had rules that the meal must have three serves of veg in it (could be a salad) and no chips.

Mum also had the rule of no food in bed rooms - so if I bought junk food with pocket money I would only be able to buy a small packet of chips or small candies because if I had left overs they were in the pantry not my room, so that mum could see how much I had bought.

One thing aout portion control - my dad was always a big eater, and when I got to be a teenager I would eat meals the same size as him. Around the table the family made comments about 'wow, you sure can put it away..' and things like that. So it almost became a challenge to eat more than dad did. Even now if I visit my parents for tea they serve me up a very very big serving and make sure there is food there for seconds. Don't cook enough for there to be seconds - and serve smaller portions... or serve smaller portions of the main meal and have a nice big garden salad to fill the hole in the plate!