My husband doesn't get it!

cclala

Yep. My boyfriend never discusses or judges my eating, and I don't critique his. It's a rule. Also, we talk about what we want for dinner. If we both want sushi or salad, great. If he wants burgers and I don't, we each do our own shopping and cooking. Don't let it become an issue by sparring with him or fanning the flame. Just operate independently and keep the peace.

Sasha_Bear

Yes. I just this week gave up. I decided to have will power to make his (and my adult kids who are back home) meals and make my own separate. I do all my exercising while he is at work and do not discuss my diet with him at all. If he offers me anything I need to stay strong enough to say no thanks!


And no...it is not easy.

Wow this is my life as well!

chanstriste13

Cook what you want to eat and if he wants something different he can cook it himself. Remember you are doing this for you.

well-said! agreed!

courtrptr13

I guess maybe I should have clarified, my husband does cook, he does most of the cooking in our house. And I'm not trying to make him out to look like a bad, unsupportive person, because he really isn't. He thinks he's being supportive, but he just doesn't get it because he's never had to lose weight. He doesn't realize it's a lifestyle change. He thinks you just basically really limit yourself until you get to where you want and then can start adding things back in, just not as much as you ate before. I do realize you can eat things and be conscious about portion control, but I don't think he understands that it's not healthy to just practically starve yourself for a couple weeks to drop the lbs.

rileysowner

This emphasizes the absolute need for support people to help you. By that I mean people who will not constantly give advice from their lack of experience, but who will encourage you to keep going. Sometimes people who should support us don't because of reasons in themselves. For example your healthy eating may be making your husband more aware of the junk he eats. He might not realize it on the surface, but when you ate junk with him, it makes it see less bad for him. Some people are worried that the weight loss will change you in other ways that will negatively effect them. I'm sure the reasons are as many as their are people around you who don't actively encourage your weight loss.

Now by this, I am not saying they are actively opposing you. It is that they, often subtly, hinder your efforts. For example, I have now lost 65 pounds. People will compliment me on the weight loss, but when I say I need to lose another 25 pounds they will say things like "You don't want to get too thin." Now I am no where near getting too thin. My body fat % is still around 27% which is way to high, and if I were to take off my shirt in front of them they would see the fat that covers my body. Yet, because I look so much thinner and because they care, they keep telling me not to lose more. If I asked these people to support and encourage me, or expected them to, I would be putting weight on again and probably end up back where I started.

Thankfully, my wife is not one of those, and my weight loss is encouraging her to consider more carefully what she eats.

Secondly, you can lose weight even eating meat and potatoes. It is a matter of serving size. Instead of eating lots of meat and potatoes. Eat less meat and a small amount of potatoes and pile on the veggies for yourself. If you husband wants to eat lots of meat and potatoes and just a spoonful of veggies, that is his choice.

I have no idea what your relationship with him is like, but there is a part of me that thinks if he doesn't want to eat a healthy, tasty (I'm assuming your desired meals are tasty) meal you prepared, he can fend for himself. I'm sure there are lots of things he can eat in the house. Only you can say if that would work with your husband.

As for the advice he gives you. No idea what to respond. Since I did and do a lot of reading in this area, I simply respond to people who give advice that is outright wrong with a smile and keep doing what I am doing. If they are really interested, I will answer their questions, but I find bad advice easier to ignore now that I have taken off 65 pounds.

Dtho5159

Yes. My husband is 5'8 135lb soaking wet. He has never had to watch his weight, calories etc and he's 31. He's not very supportive of me but that's another story lol

jer2kat

My husband and kids do not like to eat healthy and at first my husband hated the idea of healthy food but now after almost a year he is starting to come around and eat healthier things with me. For the days when he wants his "steak and potatoes" type meals I just make a lean meat with whatever unhealthy thing he wants and then a large portion of vegetable. I eat a small portion of meat and a double portion of vegetables instead of the unhealthy item. I have found that if I fill my plate up with veggies before making it to the unhealthy food I no longer have room on my plate for it and can more easily skip dishing some up for myself. If for whatever reason I simply cannot pass on the unhealthy food I will just take a half portion to satisfy my craving but not overdo it on the calories.

sbracken

MY DH is the same......high metabolism and can eat just about anything without gaining so much as an ounce. I look at sweets and gain 3 lbs. And he hates some of the foods I love....most seafood, mushrooms, most veggies, etc. He's likes the "typical bachelor" type foods....PB&J, mac & cheese, pizza, fast food, etc. He shops for any "junk" food he wants in the house since I refuse to buy it. So that makes him think twice about buying it in the first place. Then I just make our meals differently. If I'm making chicken with mushrooms, I just won't put the mushrooms on his plate. I'll skip the starch, but still make potatoes or noodles for him. Other times he'll just cook what he wants and I'll make my meal.

Jasmine_Moonstone

I understand exactly where you're coming from. My DH has been alot like this in the past. He is skinny & has no need to loose any weight. However this time he can see a difference in how I am going about this. I have told him that this is going to be a lifestyle change for me & that I would like for him to join me. That he would still be able to have the junk & other things he wanted as long as we could change up some of the other items to things that I could have & enjoy.

So now instead of all junk to go with the meal I make him some mac n cheese, but the rest of the sides are a salad, green beans, beans, brocolli, carrots, or other types of veggies. Plus I usually do not eat the mac n cheese. I am also working on making the meat we eat better for us. Like lean cuts of meat, lots of chicken, turkey meat instead of hamburger meat, fish, etc. I am also looking for better & healthier ways to prepare the food, but to leave it to a way that we can still enjoy it. Like I fry nothing now, everything is pretty much baked or sauted. Also alot of the veggies are steamed with just a little butter & salt.

We have been talking about sitting down together & going through recipes together to find some new things to try. There is a website I am going to be using to. It is called www.skinnytaste.com. Go check it out. Also try hard to pull your DH into it. Explain to him just how important this is to you. Ask him to HELP you find a good compromise!

kohalagirl27

Has your husband gotten a physical lately? Although he might be thin and can eat whatever he wants, he might have high blood sugar or high cholesterol. I have a friend that is a twig and he has high cholesterol and so he can't eat whatever he wants anymore! You are probably in better shape than your husband. So I would cook the dinner you want and if he doesn't want to eat, then oh well! Stay on track and just have fun exercising! Try Zumba, it's great!

edinphx

Somewhere on this site someone asked how many peoples sex drive has changed since they
started becoming more healthy. An overwhelming majority of the responses were that it indeed increase their
sex drive by becoming more confident with themselves. Let him know you becoming healthy is
a "win, win" for everyone!

kohalagirl27

You should stop buying junk food then he won't eat it!

nehptune

exactly what he said!!

Cook what you want to eat and if he wants something different he can cook it himself. Remember you are doing this for you.

and from all the responses i see... i have to wonder how it is that we are in the 21st century and women still feel like it is their job to do all the cooking!!!

alyssa83202

hmm- my bf is really supportive so no. But i think if he weren't I would make the healthy food I want and let him cook what ever kind of crap he wants to eat for himself if he's going to be a pain about it. but thats just me, I get cranky.

Same here! lol

mariannekehl

Tell him that being physically fit makes you feel sexier. It worked for me!:blushing:

spacecase76

wow, I am so glad my hubby is supportive.

We are a tad on the "foodie" side. He loves fresh veggies, fruit, lean meats, etc. Heck, he LIKES to cook. The small changes that we have made over the years (whole wheat pasta, brown rice instead of white, things like that), have just come naturally for us. Now, he isn't out jogging with me, but, he does keep the toddler occupied so that I can work-out at my scheduled time. And, he praises any little accomplishment I make :smooched:

Edited to add: My kids have eaten "healthy" food all their lives, so they eat what we eat. The only thing I make "special" for them is Mac & cheese once or twice a year. Hubby likes it, I hate it.

Jizes318

My husband supports me and watched me eating all the right foods and has jumped on the bandwagon with me. We eat the same things and I am usually the one who cooks. So yea us! But on a side note If he didn't want what I cooked he can make his own food lol

SHBoss1673

Wait, what is this thing? Some of you guys make a meal for your husband? I must tell my wife this, she would be shocked!

Just kidding, who ever's home cooks in our house.

But here's the thing, it's difficult to grasp what someone else's feelings are, so really all you can do is make yours known in a respectful manor, and hope they understand. If you feel that his thoughts are not helpful, tell him, but tell him in a way that doesn't threaten him or degrade him. If he doesn't stop, well, you tried nice, now be forceful.

And I would echo the advice posted before, sometimes thin is not healthy. Take my brother, master carpenter, very active, he's 6'3" and about 185 lbs, very good weight, thin, strong, athletic. But his blood work was horrific. His blood pressure was super high, his cholesterol and triglycerides were brutal, he had plaque in his arteries. Essentially he was a few months from a TIA or heart attack. Yet he could lift 80 lb bags of concrete all day and swing a hammer dawn till dusk. Just because you are thin does not make you healthy.

Lisa1971

Are we married to the same guy??? My husband is the exact same way. I just do what I can and let him lead his unhealthey lifestyle. Hang in there!

curleesam

I have the same problem so now I cook dinner in the evening and he eats that and I eat a salad or something healthy and easy to do (soup, baked potato...something light!) then the next day I have last nights dinner for lunch. That way I can burn it off, I'm not wasting food and it encourages me to gym. Just watch the portion sizes!