*WARNING* I "talk" a lot.. so this is long... :-]

BrooklynNaomee

Ok, so here's MY pitiful story. LOL
I'm not real good with talking about my weight. I'm GREAT a joking about it, but not so great at being serious about it. I was always an average sized teenager. Never gave my weight a second thought. I was in athletics. I went dancing every weekend. I guess you could say I was so active that I didn't really HAVE to worry about it. Well fast forward a few years after high school graduation. I'm 20 years old. Been married for 9 months, husband comes home from basic training and what do ya know.. Yep you guess it. Baby number one. This is where I normally blame us having only one vehicle and moving to another state and the fear of not finding my way back to our apartment on my weight gain. But in reality it was more than that. Honestly, I was lazy. I had the mind set of "its okay, its only pregnancy weight. It will come off when the baby is born" or "I've never had a weight problem before it can't be that bad." I never, not even once, made sure that my weight was under control. My doctor kept telling me that I was gaining to much weight that I really should be careful.. "yeah, yeah. okay I thought". Stupid me, 60 pounds heavier (210 lbs actually).. I kick myself in the... um.. rear for not listening. I had starting working and gradually started to lose weight. Not much, but some was better than none. The SURPRISE, 2 and a half years later I end up pregnant with baby number 2. SWORE to myself that I wouldn't let myself EVER get that big again, I had maintained my weight during that pregnancy. Gaining only 20 pounds, even after being on bedrest for the last 4 months of it. Never got above 190. I threw myself back into working after he was born, hoping that getting out and moving would help me lose weight. Then when baby number 2 was 21 months old baby number 3 was born. I only gained 15 pounds total.

Did I mention that when I was 2 months pregnant with number 3 that I left my ex husband, moved back home, and started a totally new life myself and my kids? Well I had. Started working and after 9 months of working there I finally got accepted into the nursing program I had applied for and during that first year I had maintained my weight even with the late night study groups, and 30 minute lunches (which make fast food SO convenient!) But then my life took a dramatic change and everything went downhill. Well in the weight department anyway. Long story short (as short as my long winded self can make it anyway) I met my current husband, and while he was away in Iraq I finished nursing school. we got married and a year later I'm living in Germany, thousands of miles away from my "normal" life, my close friends, even closer family. I'm in Europe!! Yay!! No. Not "yay". Not "yippie! How cool!". For the first two months of being here I hated it!! I never left my apartment, I was so depressed that I couldn't even see straight! And not to mention, I became pregnant with baby number 4. I was devasted! I had just started losing weight, was trying to adjust to my new surrondings, Trying to help my older 3 get used to the idea of where they were, how things are so much different, you name it. I was NOT ready for baby number 4. Period! So here I am doubly miserable with how things are going and for some reason food REALLY became my comfort. Before when pregnant with my oldest daughter, I was just pure lazy. I made bad choices. I ate the wrong foods, I didn't do any sort of exercises. I was just lazy. Period. This pregnancy, I turned to food to help me for some reason. So now here I am with an 8 yr old, 5 year old, 4 yr old and a 4 month old and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Something that I am NOT proud of.

I would love to be the cute little body I was back in high school, but I know that after 11 years and 4 kids later that that isn't going to happen. I just want to be healthier, not *****ier. Slimmer, not wider. More toned, not flabbier. I'm not looking to have a 6 pack wash board type stomach. Heck I'm not even all that interested in wearing a bikini. I just want to look good for me. Prove to myself that after having 4 children I don't have to look like i've had 4 children!

I just need to find more motivation with exercising. I will be totally gung ho about it for about a week. Then I get bored and give up. So since I know I'm doing this, I started coming up with different ways to exercise. And as long as I'm moving I'm feeling better about it all. Its nice to be able to come on here and put in what I've eaten and how much I've done in the day and see my "goal" changing. I hope that I can keep this up and lose weight. I know that my husband loves me no matter what, hello, he married me knowing I am big. But why not show him a glimpse of what I look like under all this "extra baggage"? ;-]

BrooklynNaomee

Wow, I'm finding errors all in here. I meant to say 201 pounds in the beginning, and I'm not sure why they *** out the word chunkier? And I sort of made it sound like I didn't want baby number 4.. Well I didn't at that particular time. We planned for her she just came a few months earlier than "scheduled' so to speak! LOL but I"m sure you all understand that right? :-D

staronfire22

Good luck!!

rsonthelake

Hey, you are here and have made the first choice. The first of many good ones. This is a terrific place to start. There is lots of support. I've been on every diet, website, etc., and this by far is the best place I've found.

Good Luck - find some friends that inspire you and vice versa.

You'll do great.

Procrastinator

You are already one step closer to a healthier body by wanting to be healthy. Good luck on your journey. This site is great. Make sure to record everything everyday and you should be fine. There are wonderful people on the website that help motivate you on your journey It's been a month that I used this and I feel this site is really good and its free!