My Name is Lindsay and I'm a Food Addict - Day 2

ellelit
ellelit Posts: 806 Member
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
it's amazing how a person can start the day with the best intentions... make a healthy breakfast, pack healthy snacks, a healthy, yummy lunch, and have plans for a nice healthy dinner. well all plans went out the window yesterday, and i know exactly why. one of my clients was a bleeping bleeper to me yesterday. yelling at me on the phone, telling me i don't know what i'm doing, yada yada. this put me in a fuming mood for the rest of the day. i got asked to go out for lunch, and i said no, and dug into my salad, lean pork loin and mashed potatoes. by the end of the day, i had sorted out the matter with the mean client, but the damage was already done, it seemed like the only wany could calm myself or make myself feel better was to "medicate" with food. i thought, "ok. i can handle this. i'm going to get a healthy chicken wrap on my way home, and that will make me feel better". i got it, ate it, and immediately wanted more.

i went home, sat in my living room chair and pondered. it's the usual, daily and sometimes hourly argument with myself about whether or not to binge. i ALWAYS lose this argument. ALWAYS. why? i have no idea.

i ate and ate and ate until i could not eat anymore and vomitted because my stomach was so full. this is not unusual for me, but it is shameful and embarassing, especially since i was so excited about starting anew...

so here is day 2... feeling ok, feeling fatter, have heathy food planned again fortoday, and my goal for today is not to binge. we'll see.

Replies

  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
    it's amazing how a person can start the day with the best intentions... make a healthy breakfast, pack healthy snacks, a healthy, yummy lunch, and have plans for a nice healthy dinner. well all plans went out the window yesterday, and i know exactly why. one of my clients was a bleeping bleeper to me yesterday. yelling at me on the phone, telling me i don't know what i'm doing, yada yada. this put me in a fuming mood for the rest of the day. i got asked to go out for lunch, and i said no, and dug into my salad, lean pork loin and mashed potatoes. by the end of the day, i had sorted out the matter with the mean client, but the damage was already done, it seemed like the only wany could calm myself or make myself feel better was to "medicate" with food. i thought, "ok. i can handle this. i'm going to get a healthy chicken wrap on my way home, and that will make me feel better". i got it, ate it, and immediately wanted more.

    i went home, sat in my living room chair and pondered. it's the usual, daily and sometimes hourly argument with myself about whether or not to binge. i ALWAYS lose this argument. ALWAYS. why? i have no idea.

    i ate and ate and ate until i could not eat anymore and vomitted because my stomach was so full. this is not unusual for me, but it is shameful and embarassing, especially since i was so excited about starting anew...

    so here is day 2... feeling ok, feeling fatter, have heathy food planned again fortoday, and my goal for today is not to binge. we'll see.
  • jesse1117
    jesse1117 Posts: 124 Member
    ooooh honey! that is sooo bad for your teeth! i mean, it is bad for you all around. but if you are vomiting regularly it is going to mess up your teeth, and being thin cannot make up for gross teeth! seiously! my advice is to go for a walk to ponder, instead of sitting in your chair. i know that's easy for me to say but that jumped out at me, that you sat in your living room chair and pondered..
    best of luck to you! have a great and healthy day today!
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
    It's not easy. I have the same battles a lot too. What do I do? Well instead of always losing the battle now (I never made myself sick though...not good not safe) I win most of the time. What I started doing was look at my self naked in the mirror and it made me not wanna eat like EVER AGAIN...:laugh: ...but I know that's not healthy either. So not an option. So after I looked in the mirror and got disgusted, I would go for a walk and I felt better. If you are that hungry eat an apple or actually more filling and low calories....steamed broccoli...it's been my savior. Dont give up. We are here to support you. But the throwing up this that's very scary. You may need to talk to a doctor and get some help...:flowerforyou: We're here for u.
  • Just a note to those that may not know. Lindsay doesn't purposely gag herself to make herself vomit. It's when she binges it's to the point her stomach is so full it has nowhere to go but up. It has been discussed in past posts. While it is a major concern for her health and teeth and her well being, just wanted to help her out and let everyone know it isn't like THAT

    Much love :heart:

    Good Luck today Lindsay :flowerforyou:
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