Help! Feeling Like a Failure!

agoessli

I'm just sitting in my living room in tears. Sometimes I just feel like I really can't do this. Like I've let myself go for so long now that it really is impossible. I've been doing good with eating but terrible with exercising. I keep getting tendinitis in my knee and so I don't know what to do so that I won't hurt it. I can't afford to go to a fancy gym with a pool and so water exercising is out of the picture. I ordered a plus size pilates dvd and I was so excited but it just doesn't even seem to be a workout and I feel like it was a complete failure. Now, I just feel like I might as well give up because I don't think I can get to where I want to be. I want the old me back but maybe I have to accept who I am now. I just hate myself now...I hate to even say that but I really feel like that a lot. I don't know what to do and I feel like no one understands at all. It's awful to feel this way.

popcorn27

Keep trying don't stop

bangarangbree

Honey, just keep going! Even if that dvd doesn't feel like a workout, at least you're moving! Do you have PT you're supposed to be doing for your tendonitis? If not, then you should look some up! The brilliant thing about working out is that it will help with that as long as you do it right! I used to have bad ankles, but taking up jogging and lots of horseback riding has actually helped strengthen them, even though it definitely hurt in the beginning!

lradloff

Don't give up! Hang in there!! First of all... if you have the food goals set up right, you should be able to (and look like you really have!) be able to lose weight without exercise. Then hopefully as some of the weight comes off, exercising will become easier for you. Second, even doing something light is better than nothing. It's still getting your body used to moving - even if it's light. It's not good to jump in hard core heavy anyway, so try that for now. Then slowly work other things in. I don't know about you, but I live in a cold area, and I"m not big into walking in the cold... but I'm doing other things for now, and will add that in slowly. Start with around the block, or a 1/2 mile or mile... and go from there. If you joined in Jan, and already have 14 lbs down so far, that's truly awesome! Keep up the great work, and don't give up!

awhiskee

Absolutely do not stop! I know with my workouts that I'm just not in the same shape as the people in the DVD are, but it's ok for me to do two reps for every three or four of theirs; the point is that I'm moving and I'm finishing the workout. It's really hard sometimes, and I also get depressed when I compare how I am now with how I used to be. I promise you that every little thing you do will make you stronger and more beautiful!

Please don't give up!!!

jmanzoli

Hi, I'm not sure where you live, but I have Comcast Cable & on Demand has many work out options for free. I do yoga twice a week & walk 1 day a week. Yoga is very strenghtening & toning, but if done properly, not too demanding on your joints. Maybe you could try a DVD from a local library for free, vs. paying for one before you know if you like it. Don't give up!! It will be worth it in the end!

leweverling

OH gosh just don't give up! I can totally relate and I let a couple of years get away from me and decided Christmas day of 2010 to take my life back. You have so many great things happening ahead of you to quit now. The pilates does work, I always say this is a marathon not a sprint. Feel free to message me, my story is far to long for the forum but definitely want for your success.

jubeliza

I hurt my knee recently so exercising has been a pain... I'm a broke student and I pay $10/mo to go to planet fitness and use the elliptical machines and I can work out without hurting my knee! I don't know if that would help or not... But don't give up. If you really want something and you're sure of it, nothing can stop you.

beachgrl79

I really know how you feel, I go up and down with feeling like I can do it, and then feeling like I can't. I love to exercise but I also love food, so even when I am kicking my butt at the gym, I often overeat. Don't give up! Movement is great, even if you don't feel like it's a burn. Have you tried walking? My sister in law just started walking, didn't change much of her diet, but because she had been living such a sedentary life, she started losing weight. Don't give up!!!! We can do it. I will be your accountability friend if you like, I could use one! :-)

CallmeCola

I know that feeling also but don't give up! Love the skin ur in, but make yourself healthy. I will never be like I was ESP b4 kids but I'm determine to improve me. It does take a while but hang in there it will drop off. As for your knee...do some PT as suggested. That happened to me at first with the 30 Day Shred but I got some PT, it strengthened my knew and burned good cals.:flowerforyou: Cheer

ObviousIndigo

If I can lose 85lbs anyone can!! I think most of the people on here can relate to how you are feeling. You have two choices. You can give up and feel the same way you do now this time next year or you can start eating a little less and moving a little more and feel fabulous about yourself this time next year:)

Weightloss is not JUST about losing weight... It is about finding yourself under all the reasons for the extra weight you carry. As the weight comes off so do the things that caused that extra weight. You go through stages where you feel like nothing is going right to feeling like you are on top of the world.

Keep in mind, If it was easy EVERYONE would be doing it. Weightloss involves not just the body. It is a journey of the body, mind and soul. It is a time you will really get to know who you are. When you have achieved your final goal ( and I have complete faith that you will ) you will look back on this and know how strong you are because you did it!

I am here for you and I am sure a number of others are as well! We can do this together:)

rebrafe

Palates always feels like it is easy - to me anyway. I used to say that it wasn't a work out at all, but it really is, so don't stop doing it. You have already lost 14lbs and that is awesome! Just keep that goal in mind and you will get there, you will feel like you again, you just need to remember that tomorrow is a new day AND regardless of losing weight, you are trying to become a healthier person and that is nothing to be discouraged about. As much as you want to give up - don't - you will not regret the progress you have made when you are feeling great and remember how you felt 14 pounds ago? Yep. You've done really well woman.

merrillfoster

OMG I feel like this pretty much every other day--like I'm trying so hard to be good, and I want to get back to where I was, but it seems like nothing is paying off. I was in tears last Friday because of it. I definitely understand, I'm right there with you.

BUT, all I can think of is how good it will feel to put on those pants that I've been secretly keeping in the back of my closet in anticipation of the day I finally, FINALLY, actually win this battle! So I know it seems hard and impossible now, but if I can do it you can too (and I refuse to believe that I can't do it, no matter how depressed I get sometimes). Nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough. *

*there are some things that might still be impossible. I probably won't be able to fly, and the guy from White Collar (SO hot!) still hasn't called. BUT, most things aren't impossible, and this one you have complete control over! (unlike gravity or someone's inability to use a phone, lol)

RetiredArmyGuy

Hey..cheer up!! One thing with exercising is never stop...I was in the Army for 21 years got up to 228..down to 173 back up to 230 and I'm at 208. It all starts with attitude. As long as your moving and eating less then what your burning you will loose weight. There was a time when I exercised 6 days a week and ran 30 miles to loss a pound. Your body will try to hold on the to the extra fat calories as a way of conserving energy, but once it realizes it doesn't need them they will start to come off. If you can try and avoid looking in the mirror for a week. At least from the neck down. I say that because most people are their worst critics and will mentally beat themselves up and lock in their "Fat Image" to only get discouraged. That really seemed to help me, If you continue to move, not kill yourself exercising, but move it will come off. You body burns close to 2000 calories a day if you do nothing, so use it to your advantage, adjust your "Will Power" and be like Nike and Just do it!!!

leslie4health

Don't feel like a failure! You can do it! Just think about what you want to look like. There are so many work out dvd's out there to choose from. I'm sure you could find something that won't hurt your knees so much. I have knee trouble myself and I just push through it. Kick boxing is really good to burn some calories and I don't think it would be bad on your knees. Keep your chin up girl!:happy:

Ddavis1967

I totally understand where you are coming from. I used to be thin and athletic and when I got to be chubby and slow I felt like I simply could not do it. I have a long way to go and I am sure you do too, but you have to try. The days are gonna go by whether or not you eat right or exercise, but you dont want to look back to today and have regrets. So hang in there. Any effort is good effort and my new motto is I CAN DO THIS. Actually it is more of a mantra.....I say it over and over and force myself to believe it. YOU CAN DO THIS too. do not give up on yourself! YOU CAN DO THIS>:bigsmile:

LaurieB2002

Please hang in there, I understand how you feel. Try to remember you didn't get this way over night and it is not going to change over night. For me that is the hardest part, I just keep trying to get this into my head. This is a great place to be, everyone here is very helpful and encouraging. Even though you don' t feel like that DVD is helping, just remember any movement is good. What has helped me is that I didn't start this alone, my sister-in-law and I are doing this together, find a friend or relative that will help you. I have told her that if I start slacking she is expected to kick me in the back side. Remember when you have a bad day, and we all do, just get back up and start over! Good luck and feel free to add me.

LHarders

Don't give up.....I felt the same way today....I have been with MFP for a month...lost 7 lbs and for the last 4 days the old Lisa was back. I have tried every plan and lost but have seemed to gain it back. This is a lifestyle change and it will not be easy. I found by reading the message boards it has given me so much inspiration....I'll say it again don't give up you have lost you are doing wonderful. If exercise is hard try cutting back on the time and doing it twice a day. Someone told me videos are the way to go..I have a few Leslie Sansone walking videos are easy steps to learn and wonderful (I really like them)...I even have a few old Richard Simmons ones and they are good. I do believe you need to love yourself for who you are but keep in mind "if you do what you always did, you will get what you always had" So....it is time to say I am doing this for ME...I know it will be hard and it is a one day at a time process...if you have a bad meal...fix it the next meal don't wait for the next day...If you have a bad day jump on here and read other messages or just vent to all of us we are in the same boat...and I will not go down without a fight I understand I have stuggled every stage of my life....when I was in high school I thought I was fat but really I wasn't....when i got married I was 140 and now 25 years of marriage later and 3 children I am at 230...what I wouldn't give to be that 140 again but I realize I will be happy if I am healthy and I know the first steps are to walk daily and watch what goes in my mouth. You have so much going for you.....Be strong and say "I am doing this for me" And that Wedding in September!!!!

jennifir

Don't give up whatever you do...do something small. The key is to find something you enjoy. I tried pilates and just didn't like it. I discovered zumba and since I can't afford to join a gym and go I invested in the dvd set which has been worth every penny. I don't know if you have tried it or not but it is so much fun and does not feel like exercise to me. I look forward to exercising. There are also biggest loser dvds at like walmart that aren't as high impact. The cool thing about the zumba is they have a dvd to show you the moves and start you out. Anyway, you may have thought of it and tried it but I thought I would share and if you need a friend feel free to add me. I have spent many a night in my living room all alone crying and sad to say a tube of cookie dough. You are NOT a failure! Never forget that!

mariasheehan

woooooo, hold on there for just a minute,. you need to stand back, take a breath and have a look at the bigger picture.

You have lost 14lbs, thats one whole stone. Let's put it into perspective...that 14 boxes of butter, or 56 sticks of butter. 14lbs of pure fat that you've lost from your body.

It has taken me 6 months to lose 23lbs, I'm in no hurry to get it off, because I want it to stay off.

I don't go to a gym either, I put my baby in her stroller and walk most days, or I dance at home, as long you you're moving you're burning calories.

If you have access to the internet try some free workouts on exercise TV http://www.exercisetv.tv/workout-videos/kick-boxing/

Or depending on your TV provider if you're in the US you can use exercise TV on demand.

Did you know in order to lose weight, you don't even need to exercise really. It's all about calories in calories out. There are 3,500 calories in one pound of fat, if your BMR (the calories your body needs to survive, breathe, live etc) is approximately 1800 and you consume 1300 calories a day, then you have a deficit of 500 calories a day, if you have a deficit of 500 calories a day, 7 days a week that equals a deficit of 3,500 which in turn equals one pound of fat lost. MFP automatically calculates your BMR and the deficit required for you to lose weight. Exercise is fantastic and helps speed up weight loss, tone our bodies, make us fit, so it's very important. But moving in any way shape or form helps.

Don't give up, I know you're having a hard time, I suffer from depression so I absolutely know what it's like to hate yourself or feel really low about how you look. But you've already lost a whole stone. You just can't give up now.

imr302418

I don't know anything about ettiquite on message boards. I'm new to this high tech stuff! So I apologize if it is wrong to reply to your post if we aren't "friends"'You are beautiful, and don't give up. A great way to get in some cardio with hurting your knees is to stand with your feet shoulder width apart, and punch! You can do upper cuts or regular punches! It gets your heart rate going! Then you can grab some hand weights and do a little weight training. Alternating between the 2 will burn calories!

myladyelliott

I'm with everyone else - we're all here to help each other, and we're behind you 220%! I know how frustrating it can be, I think everyone here does too.

For the knee, I will tell you what my physical therapist told me. My knees aren't quite right in the way they're put together, so I get tendonitis easily. Before you start to work out, warm your knees up with a heating pad or hot water bottle. Be sure to stretch before you start, then as soon as you're finished working out, put an ice pack on your knees for 20 minutes (no longer). It sounds weirdly simple, but it really does help!

Hang in there, hope this helps!
:^>Wendy

LG61820

If you're looking for people who understand how you feel you have certainly come to the right place. Most of the posters here are in the same battle as you. Quitting is easy for us, we have all done it many times. Sticking with it is harder, but the only way to success.

I understand your knee pain and how scary it can be. You can modify most exercises to ease the stress on your knee. Jumping moves can be done on a mini trampoline. A folded blanket can cushion your knees for modified push ups. Naproxen or ibuprofen can help. I am going to try the suggestion to warm the knee first, I had never thought of that.

One of the best things you can do is go for a walk. I vote for walking outdoors. Sunshine & fresh air can do wonders for your mood, especially in winter. I bundle up really well and have walked in all sorts of winter weather. I look forward to it every day.

Good luck to you, you CAN do it.

Jilli2010

We have all felt that way at one time or another. I am so glad to have joined MFP and finally feel I can make change in my life, but only because of the new found help and support. I am here for you and would love to support you on the journey to prepare for your wedding day. Keep the faith. You are beautiful and you can do this..... we all can. :flowerforyou:

uncie

Hey Hony

WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!! You sound like I did 1 year ago. I was 116kg. I suffer from severe Arthritis and I just could not see me gettting back from where I was. I have had 5 operations on various joints.

Well I started at only being able to walk for about 7 minutes because of joints and my size. I often fell back into hating myself and continually hit my rock bottom. My negative thoughts and feelings about myself just made me eat more, do ess and feel even worse. I like you was told to get in a pool to train but that to me was even more daunting and less inviting. So I walked every day for seven minutes and then after about two weeks (and oh my god sore sore feet and shins)I managed to waslk ten minutes. Finally after a month I was able to walk for 20 minutes.

Long story short - you can do anything if you want it bad enough. I am now 90kg and I train for up to two hours. I am medication free and my joints some how just feel normal again. I still have my desease, the diference is I no longer use it as an excuse to do nothing - I use it as a motivator to KEEP MOVING.

I do not go to fancy gyms I do my training at home, in my local park and on the streets. Trust me you do not need facny gyms all you need it YOU, your motivation and the belief that YOU ar the most important person and can DO anything

KEEP AT IT, ITS WORTH IT!!!!

AmandaBoston

What I have learned I hope will help

1. Allow yourself a treat at the end of the day.
No one can just go cold turkey. Have a reward for the hard work you have done. It may be a bowl of ice cream, candy bar, what ever you want.

2. Have a cheat day once a week.
Say on Sunday you can eat what ever you want as long as you are in your range of calorie count. Just make sure you don't go over board. I find when I "fall off" I want to just quit. But have a day to cheat helps me throughout the week knowing that I can save my craving that I am feeling for that one day. Looking down the road can just be toucher. So just be human.

3. Plan ahead.
Say on Sunday, your cheat day, spend it weight out and bagging fruit that you like. That way you can have it there ready for a week moment or NO TIME moment! Grab it and feel stratified. I always ALWAYS add 2 packages of Truvia and shake! You can also take those bags and throw them in the freezer, that way all you have to do is throw it in a blender add lemon or what ever, and there is a low calorie sorbet! I also go ahead a cook about 3-4 3.5oz pieces of chicken. I put them in bags and throw them in the fridge. It's very easy to grab and snack!


I say on my diet by trying new food. Trying new ways to cook it. That way I have something to be excited about and helps with the mundane diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hope this helps...Amanda




Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

callyno8

Anne this post makes me sad!! you can do it!!! if you ever need to call me or text me DO!!! I am free every night!!! I don't like it that you feel this way because I know that you are a very strong girl and you can do it! Love you!!

ultimategar

The fact that you've already lost 14lbs is proof you can do this! Diet is the hard part, exercise is easy - you don't need to kill youraself to burn calories.
If you're having persistant knee problems talk to a physio - it may be something as simple as getting inserts in your shoes.
We all have bad days, but you know there's a huge (no pun intended) group of people here supporting you.

helenamonks

You will still lose weight without working out, just won't be as toned. Yoga and pilates are great for strengthening. Maybe skip the plus size dvd and go with the regular one, I have the jillian michaels burning yoga something and its awesome.

Also, walking does wonders, throw an ace wrap and walk around the block, or hell, walk around the mall for that matter!

don't give up! it's not worth it!

jittythekitty

Don't. You can do it --- I know the other day I was almost in tears when I realized how bad I had gotten during my depression.

So I woke up at 7:30 --- and worked out. Any time you feel bad, you feel you can't do it --- go work out.

Don't forget to log your exercise and be sure to eat all your calories. XD

QueenofCups

Oh, I have been where you are and I am also there myself some days. I have lost 70 lbs and still don't feel like I am where I "should" be, but I am a long way from where I was. You just keep on going. No matter how you feel, you keep going. Little by little it will become more of a habit and less like a battle. When I started 2 years ago I literally was only exercising 15 min 3 days a week. Now I do 45-60min 5-6 days a week. Its my therapy, I love working out. It feels good and helps with the depression. You can do this! And this community is perfect for you to lean on b/c we are all at different places of the same journey. Some of us are just starting, some of us are starting over, some of us have beat the battle of the bulge and are just working to maintain and keep at it. But regardless of where you are, if you keep going you WILL be one of the ones who is giving advice to someone who is where you are at now. The only constant in life is change. So either change for the better, or change for the not-so-better. Its your choice, and we are here for you!! ((HUGS))