Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but...
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I agree with you but I also just left a post under one of the other topics about the other side of the coin. Yes, they shouldn't be forced to change their lifestyle because we made that decision but they also shouldn't be going out of their way to purposely sabotage us. I'm finding a lot of that with some of the members of my family and it only makes it harder to be successful at what we are trying to do.
I truly don't think that any one of our loved ones are going to the grocery with the intention of sabotaging the other person / people that are changing their lifestyle.
That goes back to the point that someone else mentioned. We need to live and let live. Let the other person / people make their own decisions. Just lead by example. They will eventually come around.
We are becoming to sensitive to the point where it is almost causing paranoia.
For example: "Like Oh my husband brought home oreos, he is trying to get me to stop losing weight. "
Just the sound of that sounds crazy.0 -
I agree with you completely. I have a husband and 2 children in my house too. I still buy junk food for them, but they also have been eating the healthy dinners that I have been cooking. Having junk in the house used to REALLY bother me cause I wanted to eat it, but it's not so bad now.
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Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
I totally agree!
My children have a little candy stash in the pantry that I didn't get in to before, so that doesn't bother me. They are allowed to eat something from there a couple times a week. But as for their snacks and meals - I don't want them to struggle with weight the way I did, so they are eating healthier with me, and I don't feel guilty about it at all. My husband is out of the house 5 days a week - he can eat whatever he wants when he is not around me.
You are right - temptation is a major part of this battle. But I don't think it's too much to ask that my own home be as temptation-free as possible.0 -
Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
I agree with this. If my hubby wasn't interested in eating healithy, he could grab whatever he wanted for lunch and stop for some form of artery clogging greasy breakfast on his way to work. If he was an alcoholic, I wouldn't bring home a case of beer and drink it in front of him and if he had a gambling problem, I wouldn't drag him to Vegas even though I love Vegas (he'd be imposing his vacation needs on me!)
As for kids, they SHOULD be eating healthier (if they're not already). When their 18 they can make the choice to either remain eating healthy or go hog wild. What shouldn't happen is the parents fill a pantry full of sweets and chips and expect a child to make the smart decision.0 -
Well, my children are 21 (on Monday...7/2) and 13, both very, very outdoor types, into sports, creative drama etc. Anyhow we have always had snacks at home i.e. biscuits, crisps, both have a Friday treat (so not so much now as he's at university), be it Macdonalds, Pizza hut etc, etc, and I'm seriously not tempted to eat what's in the house, out at these eateries etc. My whole approach to this subject is, eat everything one wants but in moderation and move that body with some form of exercising, why should my family deprive themselves snacks because I CHOOSE TO LOSE A STONE AND HALF! :frown:0
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I did the exact same thing to my hubby when I started eating healthier. However he said oh no honey you're on your own. That's great you want to eat healthier but I want to enjoy the foods I like. It was hard for me, but each day it's getting easier to avoid those temptations.0
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Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
check your motives though, if you are only doing it for respect I don't thin that is the right reason.
If you are doing it because you don't want to destroy your children's health, that is different.0 -
Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
check your motives though, if you are only doing it for respect I don't thin that is the right reason.
If you are doing it because you don't want to destroy your children's health, that is different.
loathesome, I think you misunderstood... She didn't say that she is losing weight and eating right to GAIN respect from her mate. It's that her mate should ALREADY respect her and her needs, like she would not sabatoge his efforts if the shoe was on the other foot. Her motives are totally in the right place already.0 -
Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
check your motives though, if you are only doing it for respect I don't thin that is the right reason.
If you are doing it because you don't want to destroy your children's health, that is different.
I'mma need you to re-read what I said. Being respectful of others and their situation is being a good friend or mate. Where did I said I was trying to get respect from my kids? Thats a given as I'm their parent and have raise them that way. I'm doing what all parents should do. Leading by example and giving my children boundaries.
I don't have motives. I live drama free and what I give I get back in return.0 -
9Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
check your motives though, if you are only doing it for respect I don't thin that is the right reason.
If you are doing it because you don't want to destroy your children's health, that is different.
loathesome, I think you misunderstood... She didn't say that she is losing weight and eating right to GAIN respect from her mate. It's that her mate should ALREADY respect her and her needs, like she would not sabatoge his efforts if the shoe was on the other foot. Her motives are totally in the right place already.
again my statement is in place, the op is about it not being fair to push our beliefs on and lifestyles on others (in a nutshell). in summary, she said "its called respect" and how she would respect her mate or friends and their best interests. But that has little to do with looking out for their health, it is looking out for your interests, and not theirs. My statement holds merit.0 -
9Well I'm not on the bandwagon with this. Sorry.
You would not bring drugs around a drug addict or alcohol around an alcoholic so why would someone that cares about you and your health bring your triggers around you when you are trying to make a change. Food addiction is a disease that people battle everyday. So yes in my household there is no junk food besides a unopened bag of Rolos thats been in the cabinet for over a month. If my kids want a snack they are allowed 1 pack of pretzel m&m's a week. I go out and get them 1 and they eat it right then. They are allowed to go to subway or get chinese food once a month. They split a sub or they spit the chinese combo. There are no left overs. Not because I wil be tempted, but just because I don't want junk in my home. But if I were to be one that could be tempted I would appreciate the fact that my kids are allowing mom to make the changes I did without grievances. My husband is deployed but he would be on the bandwagon as well.
On another note....Its called respect and if I respect you as my mate or my friend then I will look out for your best interest. PERIOD. I wouldn't try to sabotage your efforts.
check your motives though, if you are only doing it for respect I don't thin that is the right reason.
If you are doing it because you don't want to destroy your children's health, that is different.
loathesome, I think you misunderstood... She didn't say that she is losing weight and eating right to GAIN respect from her mate. It's that her mate should ALREADY respect her and her needs, like she would not sabatoge his efforts if the shoe was on the other foot. Her motives are totally in the right place already.
again my statement is in place, the op is about it not being fair to push our beliefs on and lifestyles on others (in a nutshell). in summary, she said "its called respect" and how she would respect her mate or friends and their best interests. But that has little to do with looking out for their health, it is looking out for your interests, and not theirs. My statement holds merit.
Well lets just agree to disagree. Because like I said. I'm not tempted by snacks being in my home so that should have answered your question whether it was about my children's health or mine. When I was talking about respect I said "friend" and "mate"...My friends will not tempt me if they know I have struggles with food nor would my husband.,..i.e. My mate. Thats just how it is.
You can interpret it the way you like to best suit you. Thats find. Much success to you in your journey.0 -
I don't really have a problem with junk food being in the house. At this point, it doesn't tempt me. However, I do have a problem with buying junk food to have in the house. I am, as my husband calls it, the "buyer" for our household. It's my job to stock the pantry and the fridge. And I've been buying healthy stuff because that's what I want to cook and eat (we also get a veggie box from a local farmer, which is great). He gets annoyed because there aren't snacks in the house. At first I got annoyed right back at him - he should get the junk food himself if he wants it. But here's the thing...I can't drink milk, but I still buy a gallon of 2% for him.0
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It doesn't bother me at all that my boyfriend buys biscuits and chocolates, and fast food sometimes. If I couldn't be near junk food without eating it I would have much bigger problems than worrying about his supportiveness! I don't think I should be inflicting my weight-loss attempts on other people. However, it would annoy me he cooked dinner for me that was really unhealthy, because then I wouldn't have the option to just avoid it.0
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It doesn't bother me at all that my boyfriend buys biscuits and chocolates, and fast food sometimes. If I couldn't be near junk food without eating it I would have much bigger problems than worrying about his supportiveness! I don't think I should be inflicting my weight-loss attempts on other people. However, it would annoy me he cooked dinner for me that was really unhealthy, because then I wouldn't have the option to just avoid it.
Ditto!0 -
I agree with the OP...
I am the person that does most of the cooking..so the kids and fiance all eat healthily anyway (but we always did)....I still buy snacks for the kids lunch boxes..and they have biscuits for after to school. If my fiance wants a burger, who am I to stop him? He sat on the sofa with me last night, eating a tub of pringles....he's had them since xmas and finally decided to eat them...it didn't bother me lol! But then, I've got loads of biscuits and treats left over from xmas still...and I don't have the urge to eat them...so maybe I'm not the sort of person that the original post was aimed at?
I'm babbling so I'll shut up!0 -
I think the situations in our households and lives are far more gray than black and white. And while I agree with the OP's opinion in spirit I do for different reasons.
Firstly- I must be able to resist five pieces of pizza at my kitchen table, or three sausage and egg breakfast tacos or biscuits and gravy. I just have to- if I cannot do that on a regular basis and say no thanks, I'm screwed out in the real world outside of my own safe kitchen. The thing is, you can overeat or eat poorly in any situation where food is abundant. My point about this is: as far as I'm concerned as a fledgling uh concerned about calories persona, wax on and wax off ok?
This week my husband, and I must give a disclaimer, he has never ever once made a negative remark about my excess poundage, nor has he ever suggested "I need to lose weight" or ever considered me unattractive. He's an excellent man! He ordered my favorite girl scout cookies when I had told the girl scouts one afternoon a week ago "No thanks sweetie, sorry!". Then he joked with my son and daughter about how they were going to eat them all in front of me and this really raised my hackles! I was so pissed off but then I simmered down and mentioned to him that he should rethink that kind of joke - don't want my children getting twisted ideas about healthy bodies and habits and thinking I'm some idiot that cannot resist Girl Scout cookies! I had an epiphany- I do need to teach my kids this. *I* need to show them that it is a choice to overeat, to eat the wrong things, and over indulge.
If my family decides they want to eat something that is going to overload my calories for a day, I make sure to have a separate option for myself. I either do that or I alter the meal or take a much smaller portion.
Also, I don't really subscribe to the idea that the world revolves around me. Not everyone should have to change what they are doing just because of my own preferences or my newer lifestyle choices. I've seen people complain about bosses etc. If were working in an office and trying to keep healthy- I'd have snacks stuffed in my desk drawers, my purses/bags, and pockets for high calorie meetings and lunches and excuse myself from the offered repast. You just have to do it. The only person you can rely on to put the proper food in your mouth is YOU, we aren't babies anymore. No mama to blame b/c we aren't feeding from a bottle lol!0 -
Totally agree with you!0
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i, however, do not like your comparison of eating meat in front of a vegetarian/vegan to eating tempting foods in front of someone on a calorie budget. vegetarians/vegans (for the most part and in my experience) make that choice because of their views about animals and the environment. throwing (not literally) meat in front of someone who doesn't eat it isn't tempting, it's just rude and disrespectful. people have calorie restrictions because they are unhappy with their weight and it doesn't have anything to do with their beliefs and values (like vegetarianism/veganism). SOOO i hope i'm making my point in saying that the two are not the same.
Well, what do you consider to be "throwing meat in front of someone" to be? Because I definitely wouldn't consider my example of simply bringing meat home for myself to be forcing it on anyone else. I would, however, consider a vegetarian who was getting mad at me for that to be forcing his/her beliefs on me, which is in itself quite disrespectful and rude.
i agree with you that it would be disrespectful and rude for a vegetarian/vegan to impose their beliefs on someone that didn't agree. i hate nothing more than someone who preaches to me!
i suppose i wasn't clear enough on my argument. i was just trying to say that the two examples aren't very similar because the reasoning behind the choices-vegetarianism and dieting- are totally different.
I'm just going to chime in here that my mother happens to be a vegan and its not becuase she has any problem with killing animals for food. She loves red meat, and chicken, and fish and chocolate. The reason she feels the need to abstain is because she is worried about health since so many animal products have extra hormones in them. Even now when you go into the supermarket to buy some salmon you don't know if you are buying natural salmon or salmon that was grown in a laboratory. Pretty scary stuff. But she doesn't get mad at the rest of us for having the occasional steak, no matter how badly she wants a bite.0 -
I agree, but I don't. My husband brings junk home FOR ME. I had a bad day last week, so he brought home chocolate donuts FOR ME because he knows they're my fave. This is problematic. I don't care when he gets Doritos or something for himself -- the things he enjoys aren't really my favorites, and like you said, he's not the one making these changes, I am. But when he brings home junk specifically for me, it's hard. After that incident last week, he promised not to do that anymore, and I appreciate it. I just hope he can hold to it.0
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well said.0
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I agree, but I don't. My husband brings junk home FOR ME. I had a bad day last week, so he brought home chocolate donuts FOR ME because he knows they're my fave. This is problematic. I don't care when he gets Doritos or something for himself -- the things he enjoys aren't really my favorites, and like you said, he's not the one making these changes, I am. But when he brings home junk specifically for me, it's hard. After that incident last week, he promised not to do that anymore, and I appreciate it. I just hope he can hold to it.
oh dear.
yes i agree that is different. weather he was trying to be sweet or not it's a bit of a problem to bring snacks home FOR YOU to be eating.0 -
I totally agree and figuring this out has been such a huge freedom for me. This is about Me. Just Me. My choices. My health. My heart. My life. In turn that affects those around me, but there is no use in making excuses for what other people do. My daughter baked some peanutbutter choco-chip cookies this week. Delish! But that's fine --- the kids have one for dessert. No biggie. I simply have the power to say NO, that's not for Me.0
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my personal opinion after reading all the comments left....I feel that when you change anything in your life you are suppose to do it for YOURSELF! i am the one who decided to change MY eating habits and start exercising to make MY body look and feel better. When you quit smoking or quit drinking you do it for YOURSELF!
i think alot of people like to "pass the buck" as to why they cant change(lose weight) or quit (smoking/drinking). I believe its all about self control... my family (husband and 4 kids) ordered chicken, potatoes, buscuits, coleslaw the other night, I chose to have a salad instead.... when my family goes for supper, i chose healthier choices for ME!
i think we all need to stop reading so deeply into the initial post made, its not about meat or non-meat eaters, religion, etc.
its about all of us being on this site to do one thing together LOSE WEIGHT... cant we also help support each other instead of all the rude remarks.
not everyone has the same weight loss goals or views on what to eat/not to eat etc.
We are all responsible for our changes in life. if you cant tell the cake and cookies "go away, your not ruining my hard work".... well, maybe youre not ready to give 110% to a new YOU.....
its no different than someone tryin to quit smoking, if you do it for someone because they nag you all the time about the cost, smell, health risks, etc....chances are youre going to light up again and again, until YOU decide to quit for yourself, i think the same goes for anyother life change you want to make!
im sure many of you wont agree with my statements ive made here either, and thats totally fine. i didnt post this for people to agree with, i simply am giving my "2 cents" about what ive read and what i think...
Good luck to all, God Bless!0 -
I think you're 1000% correct!0
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Awesome post, you are totally 100% right!0
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from ajweekley:
"I agree, but I don't. My husband brings junk home FOR ME. I had a bad day last week, so he brought home chocolate donuts FOR ME because he knows they're my fave. This is problematic. I don't care when he gets Doritos or something for himself -- the things he enjoys aren't really my favorites, and like you said, he's not the one making these changes, I am. But when he brings home junk specifically for me, it's hard. After that incident last week, he promised not to do that anymore, and I appreciate it. I just hope he can hold to it. "
AJ == You could suggest to your husband that he could do something for you instead of a food treat. How about a back rub, make dinner for you, or give you an hour of uninterrupted time to yourself? If you read a lot...a new interesting book! There are other simple gestures that work too!! :flowerforyou: Good ole fashion flowers by chance? :flowerforyou:0 -
I totally agree, my husband loves his sweets and treats. I was upset at the beginning, but that was because i was jealous more than anything, I kept thinking that it is not fair that he can eat bowls of ice cream every night and i am stuck here eating veggies!
But after time i have come to realize that this is just how it is, i am the one losing weight not him. He is active doing construction all day long, and burning way more calories than i could imagine doing during the day. I finally came to the realization that if i want to eat like that, i need to burn like that!0 -
I buy all the food so what I buy, they eat :laugh: Lucky me!!0
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I agree with this 100%,just because im trying to lose weight dosent mean everyone else in my house has to eat like me.I also do not deprive myself anything but soda,I used to have a real problem with that.But if my hubby wants to bring home a soda every now and then thats cool.People in life generally want to impose thier ideas and what they belive on everyone,everything from eating to religion.Ive kinda gotten used to it0
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I guess I am very lucky. I buy and cook the food, and hubs will eat anything. The only thing he loves that is bad is icecream and I do not care for it!
He has not had fast food pretty much for 2.5 yrs since I started this lifestyle.
As for drinking in front of an alcoholic, smoking in front of a prior smoker, eating meat in front of a vegan............we have to live in this world full of booze, smoke, meat and food..............I choose to walk away if someone is smoking and won't kiss the hubs until he brushes his teeth and washes his face-but I don't ***** at him because he smoked when I met him.
I eat meat......if you are my friend and are veggie...........then you order your food and I order mine, but I am not passing on my filet mignon because you want brocolli.........IDK............each situation is different.
My friend came in from out of town and I took her to a cool Veggie place and LOVED IT!!
And no one smoked! :laugh:
What were we talking about again?????
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