HOLIDAY HELP

janieF

I am really dreading the holidays... I have been very unhappy with my weight for a while now, but I have no idea how to go about eating less and staying healthy during the holidays. If people notice, they tell me I am tiny and don't need to diet. Well, I am 20-30 pounds verweight according to my 5'2" height. I am afraid of holidays because I know people seem to just want you to eat a lot. But I am so unhappy with my physical appearance... I guess my question is how do I stay motivated and not fall into the pressure of eating too much at holiday gatherings? And when family members tell me I don't need to diet, how do I respond?

janieF

I am really dreading the holidays... I have been very unhappy with my weight for a while now, but I have no idea how to go about eating less and staying healthy during the holidays. If people notice, they tell me I am tiny and don't need to diet. Well, I am 20-30 pounds verweight according to my 5'2" height. I am afraid of holidays because I know people seem to just want you to eat a lot. But I am so unhappy with my physical appearance... I guess my question is how do I stay motivated and not fall into the pressure of eating too much at holiday gatherings? And when family members tell me I don't need to diet, how do I respond?

redalee

Hi Janie:
Your key phrasing there is "staying healthy". Just laugh and tell them you our on a health kick trying to make yourself feel the best you can be. Don't even bother mention losing weight. Everyone wants to live a healthy lifestyle and eat properly, so hopefully if you are persistent with wanting to be healthy, they'll drop the subject. I had to with my daughter as she became "vegan" for the lifestyle of health. After a while I realized that she was happy and felt better with good food in her body.

Razboo

Yeah, stay true to yourself and don't succumb to peer or family pressure. (BTW, are the people saying this overweight themselves?)

I think redalee's got a good idea. Just pass it off as a health thing and not a weight thing if that is thier hang up.

Then if they persist you can throw plates around and holler that they want you to be unhealthy and are they trying to kill you and they are just jealous and they never cared and... Well, maybe reserve that bit for the last stand... :laugh:

Nich0le

I have quite a few very over weight people in my family and everyone always wants you to eat, and then if you eat they want you to eat more.

I have found over the last year that if I just don't mention being on a diet or health kick or anything like that then no one seems to bother me. If anyone tries to push food on me I just say I am soooo full and grab a water or something and walk the other way.

Family can be the hardest group of people to make a change with, especially if they are over weight too, lets face it fat people like other fat people because it makes them feel ok with what they have done to their own bodies!

Just stand tiny tall, all 5'2" of you, and enjoy the holidays while mentally patting yourself on the back for not giving in too much! You can do it!!:happy:

banks1850

Janie,
First, welcome.

The hollidays can be brutal sometimes, but just keep reminding yourself that you are the only one that knows what you should be eating. I generally hate saying I'm on a "diet" to people, I usually just say something along the lines of, "I'm trying to eat a certain way and this just doesn't fit into it, I'll eat some when I get home"

As to the trap of eating out of depression, I would offer up this: Picture yourself at your goal weight, doing something that, right now, makes you feel self-concious. For me it's the easy one of taking the shirt off at the beach. If I have a goal and I know I am working towards it and I can call up the picture in my head, it keeps me from giving in. Also, make sure you eat enough to not be tempted by the tons of bad food choices that are around the holidays, if you know there will be bad choices, try to bring a little bag of veggies to snack on, sounds silly, but grazing is the wost type of overeating.
And hey, don't you worry about your physical appearance! It's only a head shot of you, but your smile and eyes are just beautiful!

janieF

Thanks for all the ideas, I'm just so nervous!

Loretta_Jo

Hello and Welcome Janie,
Don’t let the holiday get the best of you. You can get through them.
Something you can tell people that are trying to make you eat is that you just haven’t been feeling well. That you really think it is the stress of the holidays and/or work. That you really would love to eat….what ever it is….but you don’t dare right now or you may throw up. (no body wants someone to get sick at their dinner party. Or your stomach is just not right at the time. You can say it is just a nervous stomach you guess. If they insist that you take food with you act really happy because you really didn’t want to miss out on all the good food. Just take the food with you while smiling and saying thank you. Then give it to someone when you get home…or throw it out. I have done that one. People will also give me boxes of candy for Christmas….now just what were they thinking!?! :noway: Misery Loves company and they would Love to see me fail and be fat again…..get my drift. I smile and say thank you then give it away.
Or you can tell them that you are allergic to what ever. Or you have developed an odd food allergy and the doctor told you to be very careful through the holidays until they have it figured out what it is that has been making you sick and can treat it. The allergic response usually stops people in their tracks and they will leave you alone.
I know a woman that really was allergic to something that she was always served when she went to business dinners. It was always in the main course. She said she just moved the food around on her plate and no one caught onto what she was doing. There was always at least something she could nibble on at the dinner to make it look like she was eating. She would eat when she got home or before she went to the dinner.
If people have the nerve to try and force you to eat things you don’t want to then they deserve what ever it takes to get them off your back. Don’t let anyone make you do something you don’t want to. Take care of “You”!
Hang in there. We are here for you.
Loretta :flowerforyou:

cmriverside

I liked everyones' ideas (though the dog was a bit disturbing, there, banks - but funny!)

But, in the larger picture of the life you will have to lead to keep your eye on the prize (a comfortable weight for you, JanieF) - I have to say that lying is the absolute wrong approach to declining food. Sorry, Loretta, but I have to be the angel on your shoulder.

The "throwing up" and fake "allergies" excuses are not only lies; but some people actually have eating disorders that will cause them to throw up - or serious allergies that will make them sick. I say that lying is always wrong: and to live life authentically is to face whatever your issues/demons are and learn to back them down. Learn better ways to deal with the Holiday Food Problem.

~Cmriverside AKA Cheryl

Loretta_Jo

I liked everyones' ideas (though the dog was a bit disturbing, there, banks - but funny!)

But, in the larger picture of the life you will have to lead to keep your eye on the prize (a comfortable weight for you, JanieF) - I have to say that lying is the absolute wrong approach to declining food. Sorry, Loretta, but I have to be the angel on your shoulder.

The "throwing up" and fake "allergies" excuses are not only lies; but some people actually have eating disorders that will cause them to throw up - or serious allergies that will make them sick. I say that lying is always wrong: and to live life authentically is to face whatever your issues/demons are and learn to back them down. Learn better ways to deal with the Holiday Food Problem.

~Cmriverside AKA Cheryl

Ouch…..roflmao
I guess I have just had to deal with way too many people that were determined they were going to “Make/Force” me to eat. That is when I pull out the “excuses” (aka) lies to keep from being really ugly to them if at all possible.
Although I have had to snip some people in the seat of their pants to get them off my back. Some people just won’t take no for an answer. When they get rude they have asked for it and they get it because I quit just taking it.
I have had to deal with people who have been really snotty and rolled their nose and eyes at me and said all kind of hateful thing to me and “at” me about my weight and eating plan.
But yes honesty is the best way to deal with it if at all possible.
Thank You Cheryl :flowerforyou:

Loretta_Jo

I thought I should let you know that this is a common problem with people who have lost a good bit of weight. There are some people out there that want you to be fat again and they will do and say all kinds of things to achieve that goal for themselves. Like I said misery loves company and some people are just jealous.
The “what do I say” or “what do I do” when this happens is a question that we are asked a lot. The allergy excuse is the one that works the best. It has really had to be used. It is the one that causes less hurt feelings.
I am one of those people who has a food allergy that will cause me to throw up. I have to be very careful and watch out for foods hidden in foods or I will be violently ill before the meal is over. I have had to go running from the dinner table before. It isn’t a pretty sight.
Once you get to your goal weight and keep it off for a while you will run into people who act and feel like it is their job/duty to fatten you back up. And unfortunately some of them just wont stop.
For the most part though most people will not give you a hard time. You can be honest and they will be nice about it. The things I mentioned are for the ones that are doing their best to sabotage your success. For those people they are the ones that get the excuses/lies and or snipped in the pants when they just wont stop. I have to take care of me. I will not let them bring me down.

Janie if you are happy with your appearance that is all that matters you do what is best for you. Don’t be nervous about the holidays they only come once a year and they are only 2 day out of 365 days……enjoy them. If someone says you don’t need to be on a diet you can tell them you are not dieting that you are just trying to maintain your weight which is not a lie. Because you are trying to maintain your weight….at that moment….that day….not a lie. They don’t need to know that you plan to lose more. Maintaining is not a bad thing. All they need to know is you are trying to maintain….and you are for that day….not a lie. *grin* My angel is on my shoulder. Thank you Angel

If you do slip and eat things you wish you hadn’t eaten don’t let it get the best of you. It isn’t the end of the world. I have found that for me it is best to just go ahead and eat the day of the holiday. I am just careful not to eat like that every day and every where I go through out the days before and after the actual day of Thanksgiving or Christmas. That one meal is not going to make me fat again over night. It is all the in between that will put weight back on me. But that is just me and every body has to do what is best for them. Good Luck and Good Choices to you. I am sure you will be just fine.

Cheryl I will remember “My Angel” on my shoulder through the holidays and If I come across someone that tries to give me a hard time I will probably laugh and walk away from them leaving them baffled as to what that was all about. :bigsmile: They will just keep wondering because it is “My Angel” that is sitting on my shoulder and she and I will be enjoying a good giggle together. :flowerforyou:

redalee

Actually you're right Loretta Jo, it's better to eat on those really special days than to binge the day or week after because you felt like you missed out on all the good stuff. I think I'll allow myself a day of leeway. I know one Christmas I said no goodies in my stocking, and sat there watching everybody else having their wonderful gourmet chocolates. It was a total bummer!

banks1850

Awww c'mon Cheryl, you don't like my boy Zach? That's my corgie zack,
He loves to sleep like that, on his back. It is the funniest thing to come
into a room and see him, sound asleep, splayed across the floor like
a gunshot victim. I just had to put that up for a day or two.
:glasses:

janieF

You all are so encouranging and I really appreciate it! I have some good ideas to go with and hoping for the best. While we're on some good ideas, how about when the family loves to go out to dinner? Any safe choices?

traumarn

enjoy the time you have with your family . you can eat, try to keep it healthy and not pig out. do not stress over it we are all here to support you. god luck :flowerforyou:

banks1850

Going out to dinner is hard. Try to find out where you are going ahead of time. If it is a chain or they post their nutrition online, GREAT! Use that. If not, or if you don't know, try to stick with food that you already are pretty confident with. Remeber, restaurants like to add tons of butter to their food, even their baked foods, so whatever you get, ask that they don't add butter, ask for lemon instead or that they use pam on any cooking surfaces. Sometimes they will, but in the real expensive ones they won't. In any event, the portions are usually huge in restaurants, just remember that when you are looking at your food, and try not to take too much bread (dinner rolls and such). If they offer vegies, ask for a second veggie instead of your rice or potato (unless it is wild rice or whole grain brown rice, then that is just as good).

I hope this helps, no reason not to go out to eat, just be concious of where you are going and what you are putting in your stomach. It really does get easier after a while.

julieofthewolves

I am by far the smallest person in my family - even though I feel I need to lose 10 more pounds to be healthy. My sisters give me grief sometimes, but I'm so proud of myself for keeping healthy most of my life. Keep that mantra of being healthy at a louder volume in your head than your need to 'please people' by giving in to their own expectations of what you should be doing.

As for eating out:
at a nice restaurant I eat broiled fish or shrimp (no butter) and veggies. I don't even take the salad or the rolls. I love salad, but I hate most of the low fat dressings. We don't eat out that often but sometimes I will splurge and have the leanest, most tender steak (filet mingon). Yes, it is expensive, but I am not going to blow my hard work on trying to save $5.00.

I also often just order a plain baked potato with one serving of sour cream and veggies - nothing else. The potato is so filling that I am satisfied. Wait staff look at me weird, but I don't care.:happy:

aslavich

And remember, if the portions are large, doggie bags are the way to go. And you can enjoy it the next day with no guilt!!!

Angela :flowerforyou:

deborah92115

Don't say you are dieting, say you are eating healthy in order to live a long and healthy life. Mention that you do not enjoy the feeling of being overfull, that it makes you lethargic. Be ready to ask a question of them, off the food topic, and move the conversation on to other subjects.

Look at food as fuel, not as reward.

Jamcord

I just want to say you are not alone at all!!!! I have a similar situation. I'm only 5'1 and am now about 20 lbs over weight. It's such a struggle for me to deal with this because I spent 2 1/2 years losing 45 lbs and getting down to a 118lbs where I stayed for 1 1/2 years. Now, it's like my worse fear is coming true. I am slowly creeping back to my old weight. My biggest problem is that I barely have time to exercise and I feel my food portions are too large - it's so hard for me to give up food. Anyway, I want to wish you luck as well as myself. Stick with it and remember you are not alone!

redalee

Hi Jam!
I'm a big eater, I grew up with 3 brothers and had to keep up with them. So now I have the little plastic measuring cups 1/3 cup, 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, 1 cup - and portion out every meal with those so I know exactly how much of everything I'm getting. Even my oils, I measure out with the measuring spoons. It may sound a bit anal retentive, but it works for me! That way I don't cheat!