depression question

KateHumphrey

So last month, I moved my 5 year old and I from Rhode Island to Illinois to get a fresh start. Things had been really rough, his father abusing him, we lost everything we owned, and my grandparents are letting me rent a house from them here. When we got moved, things somehow continued to fall apart, though I didn't know there was anything left to destroy. My job fell through, my car stopped working, my cousins and aunts have no interest in me, and all my friends are 1300 miles away. My son was doing great in school, but since the move has been behaving horribly at the new school. I try to stay grateful for the things I do have, but I'm feeling very down. I'm assuming it's affecting my ability to lose weight, too?? Any cheap natural ways to kick depression in the butt? I exercise almost daily, only take rest days when my body really asks for it. Sorry for the giant complaint, lol, just needed to vent I guess!

ajbeans

First off, *giant hugs* for you. That's a lot to take on at one time. Good for you for doing what was best for you and your son. So many women wouldn't be strong enough to do that.

Now, on the depression -- if you can, I would suggest counseling, because you have a LOT on your plate right now and there's not going to be a magic fix. I understand that money is tight, but the city or county might offer free counseling for people who qualify. It's worth looking into. I would suggest it for your son too. He's been through a lot, and you can see it in his changed behavior. He should be able to get counseling through his school free of charge.

As far as remedies go, exercise is right on. Make sure you're focusing on cardio, at least light cardio, for at least half an hour every day if possible. Strength training is awesome for weight loss, but won't do much for depression. Get sunlight on your bare skin whenever possible, but with this weather that's like a pipe dream, so also take a D supplement. Shoot for 2000 IU a day. A B complex can also be a mood-booster -- I take a B 100, but you can get a B150 also. Make sure you're eating right, not just calorie-wise, but nutritionally. Get enough protein to keep your energy up. If you're having trouble sleeping, melatonin gets good reports, although I've never taken it myself so I don't know. I personally just drink chamomile tea with a little milk and sugar at bedtime when I can't sleep.

Depression is a nasty beast, and you have lots of reasons to be depressed right now. Looking on the bright side is wonderful, but sometimes it's not enough. If you feel like you can't manage this, PLEASE see a doctor or a counselor. It's hard when you have to go it alone.

TiniTurtle

i've never tried it, but i have 2 friends who use st john's wort. it's over the counter & is supposed to help boost the happy chemicals in your head or something like that. i suggest you research it since i clearly don't know what it is all about, but i do know that it's supposed to work. also exercise, as silly as that sounds boosts the happy endorphins in your body & also is a great way to beat stress. i babysit 40 hours a week on top of going to school full time, so when i'm babysitting (my 9 year old cousin) i'll make him do my wii zumba with me or wait till he is in bed for the night to work out & it helps me wind down. i'll be praying for you. sometimes things get really tough, but you should be proud you got out of that situation & know things can't go much worse than they are, so it's about time they start getting better )

LisaLeslieFitness

Hi! I think first of all, recognizing that you are having an issue with possible depression is the first step. Try to focus on the positives in your life, view everything as something that will pass - believe you will feel better, basically don't let yourself think negatively of yourself. No negative self talk. Reach out to new people that are positive and will help reinforce the positive vibes.

Stress is a big weight loss show stopper. From your post, you have quite a bit of that. If you watch the biggest loser, they tell you that when they are stressing, they don't lose as much weight and likely depression could have the same effect.

Best of luck!!

thedreamhazer

See if you can't incorporate your soon into your exercises -- I know the weather sucks right now, but a little extra mommy-son bonding couldn't hurt. Depression is hard, and your circumstances are definitely trying. But you are obviously strong to have done what you've done.
Also, try and talk to your friends daily if you can. It's not the same, but when I firs tmoved away from home I had some major homesickness for my friends. They were all on the east coast, and here I was in frigid Minnesota. It was being able to call my best friend each night for even just five minutes and venting that kept me sane and got me through the worst of it.
otherwise, just keep reaching out here when you can / when you need to and people will help you to the best of their abilities, whether it's weight related or not!
Stay strong, and keep remembering what an amazing woman you are! You've done what so many can't, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for you!

heyitsmekatie

It sounds like you and your son have gone through a lot lately. You should be proud of yourself for getting yourself and your child away from an abusive situation. I'm sure it hasn't been easy. God bless.

sharamia

I'm a vegetarian so I don't eat turkey, but this might help you. I wish you much luck. Feel free to write me, I've been there.
http://www.quality-nutritional-supplements.com/natural-serotonin.html

Serotonin and Weight Loss

Sorry to keep repeating this but drinking whey protein is a very easy, natural way to get serotonin in your system. This daily diet will also help with weightloss. Being in a good mood helps with weightloss too. Many people eat when they are anxious. If you have been finding it difficult to lose weight, try the serotonin diet of whey protein shakes and turkey sandwiches. Many have lost weight and felt great on this diet and you probably can too.

One of our editors recommends going to Subway sandwich shop and ordering a six inch turkey sandwich with extra meat. Skip the soda and instead bring along a small carton of Myoplex whey protein shake to drink along with the sandwich. This carton is smaller than a can of soda.

The Editors of this website drink whey protein shakes every day and so get a good supply of all of the essential amino acids, including tryptophan. We also take a high quality daily multi-vitamin, a fish oil capsule and some green chlorella or spirulina along with the protein shakes.

We have noticed that we are always in a better mood when we follow this health regimen. We believe it is due in part to the natural serotonin produced by the body from the whey protein. And also from the positive effect fish oil has on the brain and mood, and how super green foods seem to make the body feel more energized, etc.

If you want your body to produce natural serotonin, drink a delicious whey protein shake once or twice a day. It is such an easy and enjoyable thing to do.

If you need even more serotonin, you may want to take tryptophan supplements. Talk to your doctor.

EDBENAGLIO

THERE ARE TIMES IN OUR LIVES THAT WE HAVE TO PUT US ASIDE AND DEAL WITH LIVE AT HAND. RIGHT NOW YOU NEED TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD. LIFE HAS A WAY OF MAKING ALL THE BAD STUFF HAPPEN AT ONCE IF YOU ARE READY OR NOT. HATE TO SAY THIS BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE TO TRY TO MAINTAIN FOR NOW AND DEAL WITH LIFE.

SOMETIME YOU JUST HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR MAKING THE HARD CHOICE THAT YOU HAD TO. AS LONG AS YOU DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU THAN THE REST WILL FELL INTO PLACE.

FEEL FREE TO FRIEND ME AND IF YOU WANT AND HAVE FACE BOOK YOU CAN FRIEND ME THERE AND IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO I AM ON ALL THE TIME

rnd789

I can definitely relate to this - I struggle with depression too, and I know that even exercise and endorphins sometimes don't make a difference when you're really in a bad place. I agree with what someone said before this, talking to someone can truly help. When I went to see a counselor, it made all the difference. But even just finding someone who you trust to talk to can take a huge weight off your shoulders. (and I know that sometimes counseling isn't cheap)
I think it takes courage to even be this honest about it, so you're already taking positive steps. I'm sending positive vibes your way, and I hope things improve!

HungryTuna

My gosh, I'm so sorry all of that's happened to you recently. But if you can make it through all that, you can do anything. I've gone through my share of rough times and when I'm really down and beating myself up, my boyfriend always tells me to change my thought pattern immediately. To focus on the good and not the bad, and that nothing will ever change if I don't do something about it on my own. (Talking weight troubles here)... he's right, but it's hard for me to just flip a switch and be some happy-go-lucky gal. It seriously does take a toll on one's body, and mental health.

My suggestion is to fake it til you make it.. Even if you're unhappy and are sulking... find something to do (dishes, laundry, reading) and pretend it's a fun task and you're doing something positive. Each little thing you do will add up and really, it'll take your mind to a better place. Your positive actions and energy will rub off onto your son too, and in time I'm sure he'll regain his focus and be back to his old self again.

I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there. Life is what you make of it, and this fresh start could be what you and your little boy need right now. Of course, winter doesn't help in the midwest! It's depressing grey skies and snow is anything but ideal. So you've gotta find things that make you happy.

Silly, but helpful tip... I usually feel depressed or down on myself when I'm not drinking enough water or getting enough veggies or fruits.

catniss

Hi,

It sounds like you are going through some really difficult times and it's NORMAL to feel stressed and unbalanced and depressed when faced with all those things happening at once. It's even more difficult when you have to try to handle it for yourself and then smooth things for your little boy. I think that it's wonderful that you are venting instead of eating. You're trying to handle things in a different and better way. You've taken huge, huge steps in the last month and now your feelings are probably catching up with you.
Now is the time to be very gentle and forgiving to yourself. Imagine what you would tell your best friend if she or he was going through the same stuff and then tell yourself the very same things. Especially the part about how proud you should be to have gotten your son out of a toxic situation.

The first thing I would recommend is to contact Social Services and see what they have to offer for you and your son. Counseling would be helpful and being a single mom with a very young child would probably qualify you for some benefits. The school may also offer something, especially for your boy. Talk to them.

Don't be shy about accepting help!! If you have a hard time accepting it for yourself, think about how much it may help your son.

It's easy to say, but try to pay no mind to the people that want nothing to do with you--it's totally their loss. Not having the support of your usual crew is also tough, but you have friends here (as corny as that sounds)--people who really care even though they haven't met you (like me--so feel free to friend me!).

Keep on believing in yourself, your ability to survive and thrive, keep exercising. If you're feeling very stuck, just write down 1 thing that needs to be done that day, try to do it and let that be good enough.

Write back if you want to. I am sending good wishes your way.

ashleynicoleb

I'm so sorry Just know that with each struggle you encounter, you truly do come out of it stronger. I know it's cliche, but it's true. I've found that taking fish oil pills naturally clears my mind and helps me to achieve a more positive state of mind. They also have a bunch of other benefits for your body. Wishing you the best and hugs to you!

ricepattikay

If you lost your job then maybe you would be within the income guidelines for some free counseling for you and your son. Considering what he (and you) have been through I would think you could both benefit from that. Children have a tendency to internalize everything so he may think it's his fault that your family broke up.

Other than that if you could find a place to make a friend, library? maybe a mother of one of your son's classmates? church?

Hang in there, you have been through so much, remember to be thankful for what you have, You and your son are both safe and you luckily have your family that has helped you out. Good luck. Patti