Hypothetical relationship question for the ladies...

ChuckgM3
ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
if you're in a relationship with someone, would you log into your old match.com account and update your profile with new rather attractive pictures of yourself because you are bored and want to chat with people... not because you have any interest in dating someone else?
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Replies

  • thelassiemickyjames
    thelassiemickyjames Posts: 197
    Absolutely would never do that, but if I did It would definitely be out of boredom.. boredom of the guy I was dating!... Either she's unfaithful and doesn't like the guy OR the man in the relationship doesn't give her enough attention or make her feel wanted enough.
  • Tennessee2019
    Tennessee2019 Posts: 676 Member
    NO WAY!! match.com is part of the past, forget about it.
  • Lstrode
    Lstrode Posts: 51
    I probably wouldn't use the site again, as long as I was in a relationship. If you are just bored and want to chat with no interest to date, you could do that here, or on other social networking sites. Going back to a match site is just going to be misleading someone possibly, or setting yourself up for failure in your relationship. But that is just my opinion.
  • CalorieNinja
    CalorieNinja Posts: 645 Member
    No, I don't think I would... Sounds like someone is looking for something else (sorry)
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    No. Unless you're looking for a way out of the relationship, there's no reason to put yourself out there.

    Although, I will admit I have a weird curiosity with knowing who eharmony would match with me. But! I've never acted on it and my husband knows about this curiosity (and doesn't think it's weird).
  • shallo
    shallo Posts: 353 Member
    I wouldn't go back to that site if I was in a relationship with someone. However, if by some chance I did just to chat I don't see why there would be a need to put up a more attractive picture.
  • thelassiemickyjames
    thelassiemickyjames Posts: 197
    sometimes the ladies are happy in their relationships but miss having a guy make them feel special or flirt with them (like thier boyfriend used to), so they start looking for it elsewhere... even if completely innocent ego boosting is all they need.
  • britt_fit
    britt_fit Posts: 169
    I agree with lilmissgenius200. That could be taken the wrong way by the girl you're dating and you shouldn't put yourself in situations where you might accidentally find someone else.
  • ErrataCorrige
    ErrataCorrige Posts: 649 Member
    Maybe, but only if it was because I looked way better and wanted someone who would see it to be jealous or see what they missed. But really, that is a pretty bad excuse. Most likely she is doing some fishing to see what bites. :( Sorry.
  • CreativeRedhead
    CreativeRedhead Posts: 2,166
    I'd do that if I was ready to move on to something (someone) new. Not just to chat people up...you can do that anywhere.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    Not if I am happy in the relationship!

    When I was with the person that I was with BEFORE my fiance, I did all sorts of us stuff like that because he made me so miserable and I wanted to get as far away from him as possible (he was very mentally and emotionally abusive). Even though I would breka up with him first before going out with someone else, I was looking everywhere for that someone else that would have given me the excuse to dump him. Now if I wasn't an emotional trainwreck with no self-esteem, I would have just up and left no problem without bothering to look for others...

    If I wanted to just "chat" with people, I would go to Facebook or Myspace. Match.com and other such places are totally OFF LIMITS when you are dating someone that you aren't on the verge of breaking up with. If Justin even *thought* about doing that...well, we wouldn't be engaged anymore, and it probably works the other way too.
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    Afraid I agree with all the posters. I'd say it's time to evaluate your relationship. Sorry.
  • xlacijeanx
    xlacijeanx Posts: 232 Member
    You don't use a dating site to "chat" with people when you're already taken.... that's just looking for someone new.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    This is the only "dating site" I've ever used. It's not working out well at all. Not one date in two years.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    If you're into cybering sure- or phone sex- or flirting. Or if you're an inconsiderate jerk to your SO.
  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
    You don't use a dating site to "chat" with people when you're already taken.... that's just looking for someone new.

    I agree...there are other places to go chat with poeple. Dating sites are typically not for chit chat!
  • MOOOSEEE3
    MOOOSEEE3 Posts: 218 Member
    absolutely not.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    if you're in a relationship with someone, would you log into your old match.com account and update your profile with new rather attractive pictures of yourself because you are bored and want to chat with people... not because you have any interest in dating someone else?
    Your girlfriend is looking for someone else. And she's doing it right to your face. That is one of the lamest things I've ever heard. She must think the rest of the world is stupid.
  • wolf23
    wolf23 Posts: 4,282 Member
    Appears to me that they're looking to see if "something better" is going to come along.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    Appears to me that they're looking to see if "something better" is going to come along.
    Yup.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    :quietly pulls pic off of Adult Friend Finder:
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    Gosh,
    I'm not saying she isn't being stupid or rude or crossing the line. BUT I'm not going to assume she's looking for another relationship per se. As I said, she could just be looking for people to flirt with..
    Since- yes, dating sites would be the place you'd expect to FLIRT with the opposite sex and chat with them.
    I just don't think jumping to conclusions feet first is the right way to go about it.
  • brittlynne3579
    brittlynne3579 Posts: 217 Member
    Yeah, I'm all for some harmless flirting...but that is kind of ridiculous. I was dating someone from January to September of last year and found an account like that with activity. He said the same thing, he was just 'chatting'. I think it's shady and shouldn't be tolerated, personally!
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Gosh,
    I'm not saying she isn't being stupid or rude or crossing the line. BUT I'm not going to assume she's looking for another relationship per se. As I said, she could just be looking for people to flirt with..
    Since- yes, dating sites would be the place you'd expect to FLIRT with the opposite sex and chat with them.
    I just don't think jumping to conclusions feet first is the right way to go about it.
    I thought that is why you "poke" someone in Facebook.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
    Gosh,
    I'm not saying she isn't being stupid or rude or crossing the line. BUT I'm not going to assume she's looking for another relationship per se. As I said, she could just be looking for people to flirt with..
    Since- yes, dating sites would be the place you'd expect to FLIRT with the opposite sex and chat with them.
    I just don't think jumping to conclusions feet first is the right way to go about it.
    I thought that is why you "poke" someone in Facebook.

    Firstly- I despise that function and I hate its name. lol
    Secondly- if this hypothetical woman wanted to flirt shamelessly and boost her ego- why would she bother with FB if she wanted it on the down low?
  • sarahTV
    sarahTV Posts: 65 Member
    Gosh,
    I'm not saying she isn't being stupid or rude or crossing the line. BUT I'm not going to assume she's looking for another relationship per se. As I said, she could just be looking for people to flirt with..
    Since- yes, dating sites would be the place you'd expect to FLIRT with the opposite sex and chat with them.
    I just don't think jumping to conclusions feet first is the right way to go about it.
    I thought that is why you "poke" someone in Facebook.

    LOL, I just got 'poked' by a guy on facebook this morning...had no idea what that meant...
  • SweetPandora
    SweetPandora Posts: 660 Member
    Absolutely not!

    Sounds like you are not getting enough attention or fulfillment in your current relationship.

    Karen
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    I don't think it's okay to "look for people to flirt with" when you are (supposed to be) in a happy, monogamous relationship with somebody. If you aren't happy in the relationship or aren't getting what you need (same thing?), either focus on your partner and work on the issues at hand, or get out of the relationship. I don't agree with looking outside of the relationship for flirtation to "cure boredom," especially on a dating site. If I had a boyfriend who was doing the same, he would not be my boyfriend for long.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Never! That's a sign of disrespect and possibly infildelity. If you are in a relationship there is no need to be looking for another one. If you want to meet new friends there are better places than match.com. If I was in a relationship and a guy did that to me...he'd be kicked to the curb. I've been cheated on one and I refuse to have it happen again. You're either in a relationship with one person or you're not. Flirting is harmless...but to seek out another relationship is not.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
    Ummmm....nope
This discussion has been closed.

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