She fed my son ice cream!!!! >:( Warning: rant
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I can understand that, my daughter, when she was about 4/5 asked for a spoonful of sugar, couldn't understand why she was asking for it then found out her grandad had given her it once when looking after her, was very p***ed off about it, needless to say it was the only time she has had it......0
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We are coming back and she proudly says: "Oh, he LOVED ice cream!..."
Of course he does -- it's sugar and delicious! Why do people think that theyv'e accomplished something so remarkable to make a child like something that 99% of the world's population would LOVE if they had the chance to try it? If she wants to be proud of her achievement, make a kid love brussel sprouts or cleaning his room.
A friend of mine had a similar situation with her husband's father feeding their 3 year old son a McDonald's hamburger even though both are vegetarians and haven't given the kid meat yet. The kid was sick as a dog all night (might not have had to do with the burger, but quite a coincidence). It was a year ago and the kid still points whenever he sees McDonalds.0 -
I don't have kids
but I WAS the kid (so I guess this is the other side of the story?)
My parents did not let me and my sisters have pop, chips, junk, etc. when we were kids, Mom made all our meals. We DID have ice cream though so we weren't completely deprived. All our birthday cakes were handmade and decorated by my dad (wow, I make my family sound spoiled)
The only time we had pop/chips/etc. was at parties, and usually about 1-2 cups (maybe one can) per person. Now I am all grown up (sort of?) and I don't drink pop or eat chips or crave them at all. Even during binge eating episodes I will go for water over pop.
HOWEVER, my little sister is definitely way into pop and my older sister is a fan of chips and sweets.
My conclusion, is that it really won't affect your kid whether you give him ice cream or not It is good to teach him how to choose healthier snacks and desserts!! A he grows up and goes to school, he will be able to decide for himself what treats he likes anyway. I never felt like I'd been missing out on anything, though I did think being able to have pop at school at the end of the school year was pretty much the coolest thing ever :laugh:
EDIT: I forgot to add: the real problem is the fact that she went behind your back and did what you specifically told her not to0 -
We are coming back and she proudly says: "Oh, he LOVED ice cream!..."
Of course he does -- it's sugar and delicious! Why do people think that theyv'e accomplished something so remarkable to make a child like something that 99% of the world's population would LOVE if they had the chance to try it? If she wants to be proud of her achievement, make a kid love brussel sprouts or cleaning his room.
A friend of mine had a similar situation with her husband's father feeding their 3 year old son a McDonald's hamburger even though both are vegetarians and haven't given the kid meat yet. The kid was sick as a dog all night (might not have had to do with the burger, but quite a coincidence). It was a year ago and the kid still points whenever he sees McDonalds.
UGH! That is awful! I would be mad! ((( One of my friends tried to feed my son Wendey's behind my back. He did not eat it, but WHY EVEN TRY?!!!0 -
My mother, when I was a child, would make all my baby food, ensured I had healthy treats, and was not given "junk"... I in turn hated this! I would trade my homemade lunches at school for lunchables, fruit roll ups, and other junk... Then, when I was old enough to have my own income from odd jobs, baby sitting... I'd spend most of it on junk food. This was because I was not previously 'allowed' to have it.
May i propose, instead of disallowing the junk food into your child's life, you start teaching that small amounts are okay... essentially start teaching moderation NOW to prevent a junk food binge tendency in the future.... ??0 -
It is tough with kids and families. My wife was really strict with my boys when they were really little... but by time they got to two it relaxed a bit. It really comes down to... do you want to use a babysitter sometimes or are you going to be there 100% of the time. It is not like she gave the kid cocaine or had him help mix up a batch of meth in the bath tub.
Sitters are tough to come by, lay down the law that you did not approve of what she did and you do not want her doing it again... if she does and you feel disrespected find a new sitter and only have together family time together.
The tough thing now is they are 7 and 5... and every babysitter will give them whatever they ask for. Even my 5 year old who LOVES yogurt given the choice will say give me Cookies if it is offered to him! LOL If they are at my house it is easy, we don't keep junk in the house, but when the old couple next door watches them after school (Only if we are stuck) I know they are going to eat a bag of cookies and drink half a gallon of milk.... i just make them run laps before they come in the house!0 -
It is tough with kids and families. My wife was really strict with my boys when they were really little... but by time they got to two it relaxed a bit. It really comes down to... do you want to use a babysitter sometimes or are you going to be there 100% of the time. It is not like she gave the kid cocaine or had him help mix up a batch of meth in the bath tub.
Sitters are tough to come by, lay down the law that you did not approve of what she did and you do not want her doing it again... if she does and you feel disrespected find a new sitter and only have together family time together.
The tough thing now is they are 7 and 5... and every babysitter will give them whatever they ask for. Even my 5 year old who LOVES yogurt given the choice will say give me Cookies if it is offered to him! LOL If they are at my house it is easy, we don't keep junk in the house, but when the old couple next door watches them after school (Only if we are stuck) I know they are going to eat a bag of cookies and drink half a gallon of milk.... i just make them run laps before they come in the house!
First of all... lmao @ the drugs.
Second, here's the deal with weak willed babysitters: most of them just want the kids to LIKE them. They will do what the kids want in order to have the child say later to Mommy and Daddy, "We LOVED so and so! She's so nice!" Etc. etc. If they are your family, I can assume that they want to become the "favorite" aunt/uncle/cousin/grandparent/etc. If they are not related, they don't want the kids to give a bad report to the parents for fear that they will never be asked back.
It may be necessary to explain to babysitters that, "no matter what they say, do not give them _________." Let them know that you will back them up in their decisions. Of course this will take some trust with the person who is watching your children... I've been babysitting for the same family for the past 3-4 years. I am okay with being the bad guy and putting my foot down. I said no, that means no. The kids like me because I'm consistent, I follow through, and I play games and stuff with them (wow, a non-food way to get kids to like you?? Who would have thought!). But the main thing is, the parents back me up. They want the kids to listen to me and what I say when I'm there.
...I understand where the difficulties come in with this, though. I guess the average babysitter is a teenager without much idea of how to discipline children and learn when they are being manipulated.
I agree with Gorilla, though. Explain to her WHY you don't want your child eating ice cream. Tell her how much her not following your wishes bothers you, and if she can't respect your wishes, then you need to find someone else to watch him when you go out.0 -
::singing:: "Dad is Great! He feeds us chocolate cake!"
::mom returns::
"WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?" And I said, "They asked for it!" And the children who had been singing praises to me... LIED on me and said, "Uh-uh! We asked for eggs and milk... AND DAD MADE US EAT THIS!"
-Bill Cosby0 -
My mom does the same thing with my son (he's 31/2). At first it used to really bother me because like you, I was all about CONTROL!!! I eventually took the stick out of my *kitten* and lightened up. My son doesn't see his grandma every day, so some indulgence once in a while isn't going to hurt him.
I know it sucks to hear this, but the only one who is going to parent your child EXACTLY the way you want is you.0 -
I had the same problem with my dad. In his family, food = love. He would give my daughter a cereal bowl full of oreos even if she didn't eat her dinner. My dad is now diabetic. My daughter still likes her sweets but she doesn't indulge in them often. I don't know what to tell you. People are going to do what they do. You may need to hire a babysitter who will follow your instructions when you go out.0
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Yeah I've learned to pick my battles, especially with family. And a small amount of ice cream is not going to hurt him. He's going to learn eventually these things exist, and I'd venture that instead of him discovering it's tasty goodness then and binging on it at that time, I'd rather him 'learn' about it now so it's no big deal once he becomes more aware about what he's eating, etc.0
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I would be really ticked off as well. We have a lot of food issues in our family and giving your child something she knew you didn't want him to have indicates to me that something deeper is going on. Is she jealous of your weight loss? or your lifestyle? Does she think that because you do it differently that you are saying that she is doing it "wrong"?
People really become threatened when you make a stand for something and do some stupid things as a result.
D0 -
I can see why you are upset. I think some people are missing the point. Your sister obviously knows of your lifestyle and you supplied the food you wanted your child to have and she did not respect that.
I would suggest that you have a talk with your sister and politely ask her not to feed your child foods that you have not discussed or approved and explain that you are trying to control all the food that your child has now at a young age as a foundation for his growth.
All the best.
Karen0 -
::singing:: "Dad is Great! He feeds us chocolate cake!"
::mom returns::
"WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?" And I said, "They asked for it!" And the children who had been singing praises to me... LIED on me and said, "Uh-uh! We asked for eggs and milk... AND DAD MADE US EAT THIS!"
-Bill Cosby
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I love Bill Cosby Himself! the whole thing!!!0 -
DeeDee I agree completely with you. I think you are correct about the underlying jealousy or resentment.
Karen0 -
I understand you're upset, but I also think that teaching them to eat foods in moderation. And, if they are deprived their whole life, they may go over board when they are able to make their own food decisions. I wasn't allowed to have soda when I was little, and when I got older, I would drink it, and a lot of it, and chugged it! So, hopefully the ice cream didn't do too much damage, and again, if I gave specific directions and some one disobeyed it, I'd be pretty pissed too.0
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I think you are over reacting. Yes, maybe she shouldn't have given him the ice cream, but she doing you a favour by looking after him, I bet she felt pretty hurt that you kicked off over such a matter!
Mothers and Grandmothers think they know best, you just have to go with it, you will never win! (This I have learnt the hard way!)0 -
Totally agree. I think it is more important to teach a child the value of a balanced diet, and and that includes the odd treat every now and then.0
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Some people think that feeding people = showing love it seems.
Thats it right there. Its just one of those things. You have to reflect back on your childhood and remember how things were. Normally some type of sweet was given to you in order to see you light up. As parents we are groomed to think that sweets & toys are what makes kids happy.
You can get mad but its not going to do any good. You only choice is to keep your son with you at all times or set certain limits to meet them half way when you are leaving him in their care. Maybe send a sugar free popsicle with him or maybe some frozen yogurt. They might think you are denying him some of the goodies of childhood. So just try to show them that he has yummy healthy treats.0 -
i agree i tried to keep my kids away from wheat eggs,and milk before they were a year old but my family and inlaws were "oh it never did you any harm" i have asthma and eczema and many other allergies so i beg to differ. my daughter has got milk and wheat allergies so was i right, i think i was they sabotaged her at an early age. they only thing they didnt give her was egg as my sister is allergic to it. makes me cross so i feel for you
I just read an article in... I think it was the New Yorker magazine? about food allergies. Doctors and scientists are now wondering if keeping foods from young children is actually causing allergies to become more prevalent.0
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