She fed my son ice cream!!!! >:( Warning: rant
Replies
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Yeah I've learned to pick my battles, especially with family. And a small amount of ice cream is not going to hurt him. He's going to learn eventually these things exist, and I'd venture that instead of him discovering it's tasty goodness then and binging on it at that time, I'd rather him 'learn' about it now so it's no big deal once he becomes more aware about what he's eating, etc.0
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I would be really ticked off as well. We have a lot of food issues in our family and giving your child something she knew you didn't want him to have indicates to me that something deeper is going on. Is she jealous of your weight loss? or your lifestyle? Does she think that because you do it differently that you are saying that she is doing it "wrong"?
People really become threatened when you make a stand for something and do some stupid things as a result.
D0 -
I can see why you are upset. I think some people are missing the point. Your sister obviously knows of your lifestyle and you supplied the food you wanted your child to have and she did not respect that.
I would suggest that you have a talk with your sister and politely ask her not to feed your child foods that you have not discussed or approved and explain that you are trying to control all the food that your child has now at a young age as a foundation for his growth.
All the best.
Karen0 -
::singing:: "Dad is Great! He feeds us chocolate cake!"
::mom returns::
"WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?" And I said, "They asked for it!" And the children who had been singing praises to me... LIED on me and said, "Uh-uh! We asked for eggs and milk... AND DAD MADE US EAT THIS!"
-Bill Cosby
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I love Bill Cosby Himself! the whole thing!!!0 -
DeeDee I agree completely with you. I think you are correct about the underlying jealousy or resentment.
Karen0 -
I understand you're upset, but I also think that teaching them to eat foods in moderation. And, if they are deprived their whole life, they may go over board when they are able to make their own food decisions. I wasn't allowed to have soda when I was little, and when I got older, I would drink it, and a lot of it, and chugged it! So, hopefully the ice cream didn't do too much damage, and again, if I gave specific directions and some one disobeyed it, I'd be pretty pissed too.0
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I think you are over reacting. Yes, maybe she shouldn't have given him the ice cream, but she doing you a favour by looking after him, I bet she felt pretty hurt that you kicked off over such a matter!
Mothers and Grandmothers think they know best, you just have to go with it, you will never win! (This I have learnt the hard way!)0 -
Totally agree. I think it is more important to teach a child the value of a balanced diet, and and that includes the odd treat every now and then.0
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Some people think that feeding people = showing love it seems.
Thats it right there. Its just one of those things. You have to reflect back on your childhood and remember how things were. Normally some type of sweet was given to you in order to see you light up. As parents we are groomed to think that sweets & toys are what makes kids happy.
You can get mad but its not going to do any good. You only choice is to keep your son with you at all times or set certain limits to meet them half way when you are leaving him in their care. Maybe send a sugar free popsicle with him or maybe some frozen yogurt. They might think you are denying him some of the goodies of childhood. So just try to show them that he has yummy healthy treats.0 -
i agree i tried to keep my kids away from wheat eggs,and milk before they were a year old but my family and inlaws were "oh it never did you any harm" i have asthma and eczema and many other allergies so i beg to differ. my daughter has got milk and wheat allergies so was i right, i think i was they sabotaged her at an early age. they only thing they didnt give her was egg as my sister is allergic to it. makes me cross so i feel for you
I just read an article in... I think it was the New Yorker magazine? about food allergies. Doctors and scientists are now wondering if keeping foods from young children is actually causing allergies to become more prevalent.0 -
::singing:: "Dad is Great! He feeds us chocolate cake!"
::mom returns::
"WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?" And I said, "They asked for it!" And the children who had been singing praises to me... LIED on me and said, "Uh-uh! We asked for eggs and milk... AND DAD MADE US EAT THIS!"
-Bill Cosby
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I love Bill Cosby Himself! the whole thing!!!
This is a CLASSIC!!0 -
Regardless of diet, what is good for him, whether it will hurt him or not, OP brought his food, and was very specific about what and when to feed him. He is 2. I would never think to give someones toddler food that wasn't approved by the parent, even my own nieces and nephews.
I had a similar situation, where a friends mom thought she knew better, because after all, she was way more experienced at this parenting thing than me, but my daughter choked on everything she ate when she first started solids and for a while after, if it wasn't soft, she would choke. this woman felt the need to give her oyster crackers. I said no, she will choke on it. I turned my back and she did it anyway. I had to do the baby Heimlich, because of course she started choking.
My youngest is allergic to everything, Dairy, nuts, eggs, Yet there are people who feel the need to give her foods that contain things she is allergic to because "oh, there wasn't much in there." I have had to stop letting her go some places because of it.
My issue isn't with the fact that it was ice cream. It was that the child is 2, mom said no, it was given anyway. Its not like he is in school and someone brought in a birthday treat. Of course there will be many things he is exposed to later on, right now, Parents are in control of what his food options are. Seems pretty darn disrespectful to me.0 -
I completely understand your issue but again this is not something to harbor all this anger and angst over. I have 3 boys who are grown 6'4,6'2 and 5'9. I didn't offer alot of treats in the house but we did have them occasionally. But the big thing was that there were always more healthy snacks available then the junky kind. My 16 year old will grab a clementine or banana before going to the pantry to get a cookie. Why... this is right there in front of them and he knows it's better. My boys all have amazing appetites and love to try new foods. This is because this is how they were raised day to day. On occasion we'd go to someones house and they would have different food options. They knew this wasn't available at home so would indulge but always came home to the right foods. My point is that if it's something they aren't exposed to on a daily basis and is not in your home than it's not worth stressing about. If trusting others to feed your child properly is an issue than have people only watch your son at your home but I think your depriving him on other very important social skills over stressing on something that isn't as big of an issue if he's exposed to the right food normally.0
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I understand you must be annoyed, and I agree that it is not good to over-indulge children in general. But I think there is a difference between over-indulgence and enjoying sweets in moderation. What struck me was that you say your son doesn't even know what sweets are - are you sure this is really the best way to educate him? After all, how long can you keep him from finding out? Once he is old enough to find out, he may feel resentful that he was kept in the dark, or feel shame and guilt for wanting to try sweets and hide them from you. As others have noted, if something is strictly off limits, a child will just want it even more, because curiosity is a basic human trait! I think it might be better to encourage a healthy attitude to food where ice cream is seen for what it is - an occasional treat - rather than a forbidden 'evil' food. But then, this is just my opinion...
Total agreement. I understand that you want your inlaws to respect your opinion, and they should. However, not introducing sweets into the diet now and teaching him that it is a rare treat may be the setting for an issue later in once your son is in school and has to make food choices with out you there.0 -
My youngest is allergic to everything, Dairy, nuts, eggs, Yet there are people who feel the need to give her foods that contain things she is allergic to because "oh, there wasn't much in there." I have had to stop letting her go some places because of it.
That's because people are grossly under educated about food allergies. I hope that you explained to them WHY they were wrong?0 -
Mmmm, people never think the parent knows anything. They always know better, don'tchaknow. So irritating.
If it were me, I would just let the matter drop and not say much to her about it, because it won't do any good anyway. But I think I'd pass her up next time I needed somebody to babysit, because she clearly has no respect for your wishes. To do what you specifically asked her not to do, and THEN to tell you about it in such a flippant manner -- I mean, I'm glad she told you instead of keeping it a secret, but she obviously doesn't think your wishes are a big deal or she wouldn't have been so nonchalant about it. So personally, I don't think I'd be using her services as a babysitter any time soon. But that's just me.0 -
Very interesting post because I heard an article on the news radio I listen to on the way to work this morning. It said that children under the age of 3 fed too much junk foods and processed foods had lower IQs than children that were fed healthier diets. And the damage that is done cannot be reversed - they can't eat bad then eat good later and have their IQ's go up.
It's only the one study I heard about but it makes a lot of sense.
I don't think the kid should be fed something that Mama doesn't want him to eat. Sure the ice cream (homemade is dif better) has a lot of health to it, especially for kids, Mama had specific instructions that should've been followed.0 -
My youngest is allergic to everything, Dairy, nuts, eggs, Yet there are people who feel the need to give her foods that contain things she is allergic to because "oh, there wasn't much in there." I have had to stop letting her go some places because of it.
That's because people are grossly under educated about food allergies. I hope that you explained to them WHY they were wrong?
numerous times unfortunately. when it came down to my child thinking she could eat certain things "because so and so said I can" I had to put a stop to it.0 -
Thank you for the information! It is very good point. I agree that my son's diet should be different from mine! But I do not see the need to give extra sugar to my son when he even does not ask for it!Whilst a parent's wishes should be followed it is important to bear in mind that applying the same nutritional guidelines that adults use to pre school children is not a great idea. For example a high fibre diet for a child is generally inappropriate.
Young children have smaller stomachs so need lots of calories and nutrients in small amounts to ensure they grow properly. Whilst it is better that it comes from natural, clean sources high fat items such as full fat milk and ice cream can be beneficial to a child's development. Ultimately it's about balance.
If we go to the birthday party, I'll let him eat a cake or something else. I just want to have my back covered by my relatives! ((
I'll bet you are annoyed and angry. Although relatives are known for doing that. Meanwhile, you set the rules at your house and the kids will know and appreciate the difference in the end. Although if you are very strict and outlaw things, I agree with some of the others that they might backlash on you in unhealthy ways.
My advice is to keep on with what you believe in and don't expect the relatives to follow your rules at their house to a T. At the same time appreciate the differences.This will make your kids well rounded. They are flexible, they can know that rules are different at different places. Be grateful for relatives that will take the kids for you. Many people don't have that at all.0 -
My mom does the same thing with my son (he's 31/2). At first it used to really bother me because like you, I was all about CONTROL!!! I eventually took the stick out of my *kitten* and lightened up. My son doesn't see his grandma every day, so some indulgence once in a while isn't going to hurt him.
I know it sucks to hear this, but the only one who is going to parent your child EXACTLY the way you want is you.
I understand about the indulgences every once in a while when he gets to see Grandma, but that creates a habit, or an association, with food. For example, I dated a guy for a while who lived in a different state than his kids. When his kids came to visit in the summers, his parents would watch them while he was at work and they started taking them to Dairy Queen everyday. Apparently (I heard), that when they went back home, his ex-wife about *kitten* a brick when she saw how much weight they'd gained in 6-8 weeks. Another example is when I was little and we were cooped up in the house during inclement weather, Mom would pop in The Wizard of Oz and give us a cherry mash fudge. I still to this day crave cherry mash fudge whenever I see or think about The Wizard of Oz.
Food association is what gets a lot of us in the situations that we are in now. It's our habit to get home after work, grab a bag of chips and plop on the couch to watch tv. It's not because the chips sound good (most times), it's because that is our habit. What I'm trying to say is that I don't see a problem with it as long as it isn't a constant, habitual thing.0 -
It’s one thing to teach your kids about a healthy life style, and want what you feel/know is best for them. It’s a totally different thing to be a complete control freak about it. What will you do when the child is old enough to think on their own and they want to try,,,,,,, gasp,,,,, a whopper from Burger King?0
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I just can't believe in this day and age with all of these horrible allergies, that someone would specifically give a small child (too young to really object) something that he or should could be allergic to. My older sister is allergic to milk. Not lactose intolerant -- allergic to milk. Her mouth gets all dry and puffy and itchy, so it's likely not a severe allergy, but she's a grown adult and doesn't risk it. If she were 2 and someone dangled ice cream under her nose and wouldn't understand the consequences of her actions, she'd be eating that ice cream. With so many things having trace amounts of allergens in it, why risk it??
FYI -- she only developed the allergy after her 30th birthday and she was given plenty of milk as a child so it had nothing to do with being deprieved that stuff as a child.0 -
I see what you're saying and it must be annoying for your son to have eaten ice cream. However, he's only young and a treat once in a while isn't going to cause him to eat unhealthily! For example, when a child is told they are not allowed something and must not have it- they will want it. If you take smoking or drinking as an idea- it's quite similar when it comes to eating. Treating him once in a while isn't going to kill him!
I agree. Be happy you have a loving family that you can rely on for babysitting. Most nutritionists will tell you a treat now and then is fine. I tell my three year old there is a difference between foods that make you grow big and foods that just taste good. He gets this even at 3 years old. Ice cream is not poison. It has alot of fat but it has calcium and you can buy low fat frozen yogurt with fruit in it, if he likes it. Or put fruit on top of it. I hope you don't restrict his fat too much because children do need more fat then adults.0 -
My husband and I have a sort of "free pass" idea when it comes to my 2 year old son's relatives (olders ones - grandparrents, aunts, etc.). While at our house we try to keep junk food at a minimum, their houses are different - which is their right. We strive to teach our son to make the right choices himself. Right now, even though his Poppa and Nani offer him cookies, cake, ice cream,...you name it....he will 90% of the time choose a piece of fruit over those sweets. He prefers a banana or blueberries to a chocolate chip cookie or ice cream. When given the choice, he will pick up a can of corn and ask for that in place of Jell-O. Its not about keeping those items you deem bad away from your child, its about teaching them to make the right choices. He's only 2...and last night when his Daddy offered him a bowl of ice cream he asked for a banana.
So he had some ice cream. Use it as an opportunity to teach him that while ice cream is good once in a while, we should choose something healthier to eat on a regular basis. I think you are setting him up for problems when he gets older...he's going to rebel and eat everything you don't let him know exists.0 -
Just a thought , i understand why you are angry , but i grew up in a house were "nice" treats were rare ( ice cream sweets ect..) when i was a teenager and got my first job i went mad have sweets , cakes , coffee made with milk..
The odd treat is not going to your 2 year old any harm, relax wait youe child goes to school
I was the SAME way. My mother was hardwired towards healthy eating and we never had soda, rice crispies, candy, nothing...unless my dad snuck it in the house lol. Even though I consider myself a healthy eater, I love veggies and fruits and lean meat...don't care for too many processed good, which I credit to my mother. I can also say I have a raging sweet tooth and probably can contribute some of my weight gain when I was a big younger to my sweet binges I would go on when I was able to purchase it on my own.
Now although i don't have a kid myself, I can TOTALLY see where you are coming from about not wanting your son to have too many sweets and whatnot, but at the end of the day its just ONE day in hopefully a very healthy life and long life for your son.0 -
It’s one thing to teach your kids about a healthy life style, and want what you feel/know is best for them. It’s a totally different thing to be a complete control freak about it. What will you do when the child is old enough to think on their own and they want to try,,,,,,, gasp,,,,, a whopper from Burger King?
I agree, I think the issue here is your need to CONTROL everything, not that your son had a little icecream. Mommy can't control every thing thats out there in the big bad world, and neither can we stop our kids from making mistakes - they'd never learn anything. Sometimes we need to step back and see the bigger picture.0 -
I see what you're saying and it must be annoying for your son to have eaten ice cream. However, he's only young and a treat once in a while isn't going to cause him to eat unhealthily! For example, when a child is told they are not allowed something and must not have it- they will want it. If you take smoking or drinking as an idea- it's quite similar when it comes to eating. Treating him once in a while isn't going to kill him!
I agree. Be happy you have a loving family that you can rely on for babysitting. Most nutritionists will tell you a treat now and then is fine. I tell my three year old there is a difference between foods that make you grow big and foods that just taste good. He gets this even at 3 years old. Ice cream is not poison. It has alot of fat but it has calcium and you can buy low fat frozen yogurt with fruit in it, if he likes it. Or put fruit on top of it. I hope you don't restrict his fat too much because children do need more fat then adults.
Ok, I uppreciate all the thoughts. But I DO NOT deprive my child. He would have a cookie once in a while, slice of BD cake, ect. It is not like he is in prizon and eats only cabbage and water. But I believe it is UP TO ME to decide when and WHAT he is eating.
I do not think that my sister in law is jealous. She just wants a cheap way to become "favourite aunt". She knows really well about our lifestyle. She thinks that I'm being crazy about it.
BUT most people on this website should know by now that most of the people in US do not know how and what to eat to stay healthy. Now a lot of people are trying to break bad habits, learn how to eat right. I want to teach my son from the beginning. So, he will not have to break anything.
I have never been even overweight according to BMI. What I'm trying to lose is "last 10 lbs". I have been raised in the family without junk. We did have "bad foods" maybe once a month or less (on birthdays or family occasions). I did not binge after I have grown up and very thankful to my mom for teaching me how to eat right.
I would like to introduce ice cream, chocolate, cookies ect WHEN ME AND MY husband decide.
Sorry for long post. It is just driving me crazy.... still.....0 -
It’s one thing to teach your kids about a healthy life style, and want what you feel/know is best for them. It’s a totally different thing to be a complete control freak about it. What will you do when the child is old enough to think on their own and they want to try,,,,,,, gasp,,,,, a whopper from Burger King?
It will be his desigion and I will respect it. Now I'm making those desigions for him. He is only 2!0 -
Growing up, my parents never allowed me to have candy or many sweets, witih the exception of a little chocolate every now and again. Now, as an adult, I don't like candy and could care less about cookies/pastries. I think YOU are the parent, YOU make the decisions.0
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::singing:: "Dad is Great! He feeds us chocolate cake!"
::mom returns::
"WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?" And I said, "They asked for it!" And the children who had been singing praises to me... LIED on me and said, "Uh-uh! We asked for eggs and milk... AND DAD MADE US EAT THIS!"
-Bill Cosby
LOL, hahahah!!! I love that, we used to sing that all the time as kids.......thanks for the memory!0
This discussion has been closed.
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