Skinny Friends

mmanderr18

So I'm in college and literally all of my best friends are skinny and tiny and adorable. They know I work my butt off in school and at the gym and they are constantly asking me why? Its hard for them to understand why I have to make going to the gym a priority and countless times they tell me they only go once a week and that I'm working too hard. It would be one thing if I was just trying to maintain my weight but I'm not- I'm looking to work off 60 pounds. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to explain to them why I need to go to the gym so much and eat healthy? I completely understand that they have never experienced how I feel but its starting to become a bad influence on me. I ate a side order of french fries today with them and was almost over my calorie limit by noon and I feel awful about it. I really don't want to make this a habit.

shelbyj72

You just need skinny friends that eat carrots & celery

Anidorie

friends that dont understand is never fun. so my suggestion: find a nice girl from the gym who is looking to loss a good deal of weight too. then yall can go and workout together. you can hold her accountable and she can hold you accountable. find peopl who do understand and are willing to support you. your current girlfriends dont have a problem eating a huge candy bar and are not going to understnad why you cant either.

HeyBulldog2011

I totally understand this! My friends too are all beautiful, thin, and have guys all over them....Every time I drop a pound or a few pounds they don't really understand what that feels like for me (even if I try to explain it to them...). You have to keep telling yourself that their body is not your goal. Your goal is to have "YOUR" body and be healthy. Your goal is to be the right size for you and not the right size for anyone else.
I know it is hard!!! Easier said than done, but if you can do this think of everything else you can accomplish?? You will be a unstoppable, force to be reckoned with! Stick with it, love!

MissAnjy

Honestly, it's not worth explaining to them. If they had common sense, they would know that you're trying to lose therefore you need to go more & that you may not have been necessarily blessed with a petit frame & a high metabolism. We're not all built the same, and we aren't all blessed the same. I don't understand why they would question how often you go? Isn't it obvious why? You're putting in the effort. If you want to lose, it takes that effort for you to do so. If they can't figure that out on their own, they obviously aren't thinking about it too hard, therefore explaining it to them is having it fall on deaf ears. Some people are very closed minded and ask questions only to not listen to the answer. Save your breath, give it a simple "because i'm making an effort, and this is what works for me".

deannarey13

I would let them know what your goals are and let them know that you would appreciate their support. I understand what you are going through though. One of my closest girlfriends is a size zero and can eat/drink anything she wants to without gaining an ounce. It's really hard because she wants to eat out a lot for things like pizza and burgers. I gain weight just LOOKING at a burger.

jillerin457

It sounds like they're just not open to the idea or any explanation of it. You've already tried and they're being a little obtuse! So don't waste your energy on explanations that fall on deaf ears. Just smile, nod, and quietly go back to doing whatever it is you need to do to stay healthy. (And remind yourself that the second most of them get pregnant and/or turn 30, all of a sudden it will get VERY real and impossible to ignore.)

jennifir

Skinny friends who have never walked in your shoes will never understand. I would just explain to them that your health is important to you and it just takes more work for some than others. And like someone else said..you need a workout buddy. You may be able to find someone in your area on this site.

mmanderr18

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your responses-- I should have had better self control earlier and known the fries weren't worth it but I will just have to do better tomorrow. I'm always very self conscious when talking about my weight loss but I did mention that I lost a couple pounds to one of the french fry friends and she was so supportive and made me feel great about it. I think I'm going to open up to them more about my weight goals and accomplishments and I think they will be very supportive and helpful.

queenmedusa

I think at your age it's pretty difficult to have an honest discussion with other girls about these things, especially if they've never been there. I understand that you might not want to go into how bad you feel about yourself and admitting that you have dips in your confidence probably wouldn't be great if your friends aren't mature enough to support you. Could just try to explain that you're trying to improve your health and the exercise is good for your mind (I find I think clearer when I exercise!)

Don't forget that no matter how skinny and adorable your friends might seem they probably have low confidence days and have parts about their bodies that they hate (difficult to imagine right?!) The difference is that you're trying to do something about what you're not happy with and you deserve praise for that. Unfortunately a lot of women on here have made comments about friends trying to sabotage them so please don't let yourself get caught up in it, you're on your own journey.

Much love x

KadieA

Hey now! I was once 'that skinny girl' and all my friends were bigger. I was very supportive of any weight loss they wanted to pursue except they didn't and I got teased and picked on by them all the time. I actually said I probably wouldn't befriend another bigger gal (or any gal for that matter) unless she had confidence and didn't take her lack of it out on me. I don't deserve it just like bigger girls or people who are just wanting to drop some pounds deserve someone who will support them. No they may not understand what you're going through so you shouldn't fault them for it. But if they are not being supportive then that's another thing.

Now they're all working out and shedding pounds like crazy. One of them had horrible asthema problems, was always out of breath and one day stood up and her knee went out. She was proud to be large and in charge even though it was unhealthy and it was obvious she wasn't since she always picked on me for being little. The other took metabolism booster shots (got them from Canada) and is now thinner than me lol. My other friend is running marathons
...well they're not really friends any more but you catch my drift.

miqisha

You don't need to explain anything to them. But if you feel the need to, sternly; not rudely tell them, your goal, that you weigh 190 (because you may look smaller to them, than they think you are; that happens to me, when I tell people my weight, they are shocked, because I am what people call bog boned)

Anyway, let them know your weight, if you are comfy with that, and let them know what you would like to weigh. Let them know you want to be healthy, and that you don't appreciate them letting you feel bad about it.

Friends are great, but unless you let them know exactly how you feel, they won't quit.

They aren't necessarily being bad friends, they just probably really don't understand, or see anything wrong with you the way you are.

Goodluck on your journey......

anubis609

My naturally skinny friends like the fact that I'm living a healthier lifestyle. We're all into it actually. Tell your friends to gain 60 lbs and see if they're happy with working out just once a week.

123456654321

There really is not one thing you can say that will make them magically understand. The best advice I can give you is try to worry less about them and more about you and your own goals. They really don't need to understand. I've been there and I know people can be really disrespectful...but if your waiting for people to understand or respect your decisions, it most likely will not happen.

Be firm, be strong. Good luck!

ColeyCannoli

Maybe they are a bit jealous that you are trying to improve yourself? I have found it amazing the different reactions I have gotten from people. When I said I would start eating only 1200 calories a day a lot of my skinny-minny friends got all upset about it. I think all you can do is show them that it is helping. When you get down to your goal, they will see how much happier and healthier you are. They might be thin but that doesn't mean they are healthy. And their metabolisms won't last forever. You are building a new you to last a lifetime. Don't let them hold you back! If explaining it doesn't help, try finding some new workout buddies who understand the desire and drive it takes to be fit and maintain it.

Good luck hun! We are here for you

123456654321

When you get down to your goal, they will see how much happier and healthier you are.

This isn't always true. It wasn't for me anyway. I'm "skinny" now but I still get crap from people about how health conscious I am. It went from that to "OMG, YOUR SO SKINNY, YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT!!".....It's annoying. Hopefully it will be different for you, but don't count on it.

1FITmamaofTWINS

you need to explain to them that this is important to you and you need support.... invite them to the gym with you, or out for a little jog... go to lunch someplace like salad works or get desert at a yogurt bar

6Janelle13

You know what skinny friends are good for? ordering french fries that you can have a few of I do this with my hubby all the time. he'll get the full meal with soda and fries and I will get to eat 5 or 6 fries and be blissfully happy a few bites of good food is way better than over stuffing and regret.

As for them not understanding. I was one of those girls. I dropped a ton of weight in high school by being active but it never felt like work. In college, I started putting on pounds but hated the gym. I wish i had had the drive to work out and improve myself with healthy habits before now. They will get it one day when suddenly the jeans are tighter and they have to practice the shimmy. If they are bad influences at meal time find new lunch buddies. I could never get anyone to want to go just to the cafeteria and honestly that all you can eat salad bar would have been great.

ashleynicoleb

I understand COMPLETELY! Most of my friends don't worry about their weight and hardly go to the gym. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable with having to push so much emphasis on my need to go to the gym and eat right. It's hard for other people to understand that don't have any issues with their weight. I used to sometimes feel uncomfortable telling people I'm watching what I eat and counting calories because I always am not in the mood to hear their responses. Just make it your own personal goal and make decisions for YOU You'll get the hang of it

Bootzey

Change the subject. There is no way your friends will understand so why bother. At that age they are just to young and don't have the life experience. I would tell you to find new friends but that's not fair. Just be cool. They will come looking for you in 10 years when they gain 100lbs from having babies.

eating4balance

My friends had a really hard time adjusting to my dramatic eating habit change.

I went from snarfing down oreos and cookies with the best of them, to bringing an apple and protein bar to pizza parties so I wouldn't starve.

It took about a year, but now when I say "no" when my friend offers me the other half of their cookie, they just pat me on the shoulder and say, "Our little healthy friend."

One of my friends, who is the skinniest person ever (God bless her heart) pigs out on twix bars and debbie cakes constantly. At the last party however, she had her mom buy a bag of carrots, celery and grapes.

You're friends will get used to the new you eventually, and they will embrace it. (It's become sort of like an inside joke when others see me passing on a complimentary donut).

Just explain to them that you would appreciate their support, because you are really trying hard to gain control of your life. They sound like good people, but if they can't accept that you are trying to be a better person, maybe they just aren't meant to be your best friends anymore.


Good luck

Mrs_McFadden

I can understand your friends actually. Before I became pregnant and started meds that made me gain weight- I never ever ever gained weight. I was rail thin and a natural ectomorph shape. I remember distinctly being completely ignorant of how people gained weight. Yes, I'm for real. Since I could eat ---anything--- and not gain weight I really thought people must be shoving loads of food in their mouth to even gain weight. I had a very high metabolism and just took it for granted, obviously.
I really don't have an answer for you that those above haven't already suggested, I just wanted you to know, they might be as ignorant as I was when I was in my early 20's about how bodies are different and what can cause weight gaine and metabolic changes.

tater8589

Just tell them how you told us. Be truthful and upfront. If they are true friends they will be supportive. Some people just don't think about things until they are pointed out. Good luck :flowerforyou: