overweight kids

appleshells

My husband brought it to my attention that my 11 yr old (12 in May) daughter is packing on pounds. She is 5 ft tall and weighs 120 pounds. She has zero desire to do anything active. (She is the only child in the house that is inactive).

I don't want to say anything to her for fear of throwing her into the cycle of eating disorders and dieting.

We both decided that since we are watching everything we eat (he's on here with me), and we are excercising, that now is the time to sit the kids down and talk about portion control. No more seconds for them at dinner, teach her the better choices of foods.

Any suggestions????

luv2ash

don't buy what they like! Its a tough time of year for kids to try and be active. Tell her she has to start joining one after school activity, say softball or basketball or soccer, just to start getting some exercise.

Most of all, keep setting a good example to her. Tell her, talk about it, and show her that you are exercising....in time she will catch on.

appleshells

I should have mentioned that we encourage all the kids (6 of them) to be very active and have extracurricular activities. She chose band!

appleshells

and we do not stock the house with chips, cookies, or anything like that. (it's too tempting to us!!!)

Aimee_PD

I would limit the amount of snacks in the house, as you probably already do since you and hubby are on the same page... encourage more activity as a family, walk down the road or play a game of ball in the yard? maybe set food schedules if you dont do one already and only allow the healthy snacks like veggies or fruit to be consumed. my kids are only 3 and 5 but i try to push them to understand that fruit is what they should choose for a snack, even though sometimes we do have cookies.

luv2ash

maybe you can do things together as a family. All go to a different park each weekend - (weather permitting) and hike around, etc. Or go cross country skiing at a nearby park that offers rentals, roller skating, or even bowling--thats exercise too. But make it physical.

jjjghoffert

Portion control is a great lesson. Also maybe you could tell her that she needs to become involved in an activity. Let her pick her interest as long as it involves some sort of exercise -- swim team, dance lessons, horse back riding (my personal favorite).

kwardklinck

My daughter was a little pudgy at that age. When she turned 13, however, the tummy redistributed and she was a very cute and curvy girl. She liked her sweets and she wasn't a very active person. I would suggest just making healthy meals and maybe taking family walks or doing family activities that get them moving. You have to be so careful how you broach the subject with your daughter because you don't want to hurt her self-esteem. It's a tough situation but it will be fine. Sometimes they get a little chubby right before a growth spurt.

abyt42

I should have mentioned that we encourage all the kids (6 of them) to be very active and have extracurricular activities. She chose band!

As a flute player, I can tell you that my yoga is improving my air flow.... perhaps that's a way to get her moving?

fitgirl4life

This is a really interesting topic. I don't have kids myself, but I remember growing up and not having any interest at all in phys ed or exercise! I always said if I had kids, I would not pressure them into doing "exercise", but rather, just make being active part of everyday life.

For example, your 11-year old daughter can't sit at home on her own watching TV if the rest of the family is going for a bike ride. Like it or not, she has to come along! Maybe getting her involved in choosing a new bike and some accessories for it will get her "bike proud" and hence she'll look forward to riding it.

Also, getting her involved in things like martial arts, ballet, gymnastics, street dance classes etc. Or just dance with her in front of the Wii or XBox! Just get her moving. There are so many things she can be involved in that are "cool" for young teenagers: snowboarding and such. All of these will get her moving.

Outward bound/camping experiences are great as well. Hiking/camping overnight with friends (supervised of course). She will feel like it's such an accomplishment to have survived the night!

Just some ideas. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Amandac6772

That is a tough situation with a 12 year old girl...they are already so critical of their selves at that age. Modeling appropriate eating and let her see you be active are the best ways. Do you have a Wii or any other gaming system? Buy some fun games like Just Dance that is very active but aren't "exercise". That is something the whole family would have fun doing.

Meganne1982

When I was 12 I felt like all my parents talked to me about was my weight. At 13 I was put on phen-fen! I lost 20 pounds on phen-fen and then when went off and gained so much weight I was 320 pound 16 year old. Early adolescence is a time of insecurity and rebellion. I felt bad about myself and binge ate to defy my parents and have control. So I suggest, don't make a big thing out of it. Try to encoursge her to eat healthier and be more active without putting any emphasis on her weight or size. Making her weight matter, I feel, will only lead to trouble.

fuzzymel

I do think a family fitness activity is a wonderful idea. It will help bring you closer and keep you all fit.

Maybe have her try out a few different activities. As a child I hated team sports but luckily I was good at running so that kept me thin. Exercise is really no fun when you hate the activity.

00trayn

Coming from someone who was an overweight kid, I chose band in middle school too! Haha, I definitely didn't like activities involving physical activities. I quit dance after a year and a half, I hated soccer after one season. But I found I really did like softball, it's not too intense but it's definitely physical activity with practices often. I found it was a good middle ground for me. The problem was my mom kept feeding us fast food a few times a week and stocking the house with all the food we wanted. So you have to take care of both issues of keeping food under control and getting more activity. Try and find something active she might like... there are so many sports out there.

katbass

If her siblings are al active and healthy weights, I would be willing to bet she already recognizes that she's overweight and less fit than her brothers and sisters. I think youre making the right choice by not singling her out or sitting her down for a chat just yet. That might come later down the road if she continues to gain, but right now just encourage healthy choices nicely. And as the parents, I am assuming that you do the grocery shopping. If her favorite high calorie snacks arent in the house, then she cant eat them. When/if she notices that you arent buying the same snacks or foods, just remind her that you are all trying to live healthier and eat better, and maybe tell her how weight loss works (calories in vs calories out). She might want to lose the weight for herself already, so if she knows HOW to without getting a lecture/chat/conversation, then she may take it on herself to start trying to shed the weight. Wouldnt that be great!?
Lead by example, just like youre doing now, and try to remain positive about it. My husband was an overweight kid and he still has food issues (doesnt want our daughter drinking too much milk ... she's ONE! and he still tends to buy fat-free foods since that was all the rage when his mom was bribing him to lose weight in middle school.) Whatever you do, dont bribe her! (not that you would, but I am living with a grown man who is still feeling the effects of "if you lose 30 lbs this summer, we'll give you $100")
Good luck! Keep us posted

up2me2lose20

I have an 11 year old also. While she is active, tall and well-proportioned, I still struggle with this. Moderation is the key, I think. And our examples are so important. She's more likely to eat healthy if she sees me and her dad eating healthy. I have no problem with a cookie for dessert (or 2) for her, but cookies and dessert don't cut it for snacks.

Also, this is the age when their bodies start to change. Hormones are raging and moods and feelings will become eratic. Healthy eating and exercise will help these symptoms to lessen. But her body is probably telling her she needs more right now too.

One thing we did a while ago was a snack list. We went through as a family and listed snacks that were healthy and tastey that the kids could have access to at anytime and now we don't even have to refer to the list. THey know cookies are a nope, but yogurt is a go ahead, etc.

sarahliftsUP

I wouldn't push her to do any extracurricular activities if she doesn't want to but definitely encourage family outings. Going for walks, swimming, skating, skiing. Either the whole family or maybe just you and her. Maybe she just hasn't found the activity that she enjoys yet. Instead of emphasizing activity to her, maybe just focus on these activities as family time.

jenbusick

Do you know what she's eating at school? Another mom I know found out that her weight-troubled kid was eating breakfast at home -- then going to school and eating a two-pack of Pop-Tarts that were one of the school breakfast offerings! Plus schools seem to serve snacks at every conceivable opportunity. It sounds like y'all have the home front well under control, I'm just wondering whether there's some other source of excess calories in her life that needs to be addressed.

I wish you good luck in dealing with a tough issue!

up2me2lose20

Oh, I thought of one more thing. Food isn't a reward. We don't bribe with food (ex get straight A's and then we can go get ice cream). Ice cream is a treat, but not a motivation. THat just sets us up to be emotional eaters as adults.

Aid_B

I don't know if this is relevant, but we control what my Daughter (12 Today) eats at home.

I've found that it's the grandparents who like to spoil her with food, extra helpings cakes & biscuits . After a weekend with them you can actually see a difference

wriglucy

Maybe if she sees you exercizing, it'll set a good example for her. Also....mother daughter walks? My mom used to walk and I would go with her sometimes. It was fun because we could talk and hang out one on one, and it was also exercize. I didn't look where you are from, so right now it may not be the best time. But maybe something for the future?