Something I do not like about MFP

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  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Until I became pregnant I weighed 118-120 lbs. I'm 5' 8". That was my natural weight ..and I have never counted a calorie or dieted in any sense of the word until I started at MFP.
    Some of us actually have thinner builds?
    For those of that are naturally slender I see no problem with this. I had a perfectly normal menstruation (see above, and I've had three children) and my skin and teeth and perfectly healthy and normal.
    *Everyone* is different.

    But naturally slender folks aren't the ones on here trying to get to 100 lbs with extreme diet and exercise. :frown: I have no problems with naturally slender. I used to be one in my early to mid 20s... then I got married and discovered Ranch Dressing. Yum. :smile:
  • gdnplnty
    gdnplnty Posts: 170 Member
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    My daughter is 6 foot tall. She weighs in at 145. She is VERY happy with that. She looks fantastic at a size 8ish. She is always talking about how some think that she weighs more some less, but to her, that is the perfect weight. Even the doctor told her so. I am very proud that she doesn't want to lose anything. She is always talking about how she has to have what she has because she needs the extra weight to hold her body up.
  • thedeegan4
    thedeegan4 Posts: 422 Member
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    I completely agree!
  • MyBeautyIsSkinDeep
    MyBeautyIsSkinDeep Posts: 112
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    WELL SAID AND I Totally agree!!
  • Tarah1357
    Tarah1357 Posts: 139 Member
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    I think this post is excellent and I completely agree. I think it's more realistic to set a goal within healthy bmi range. It just makes the most sense. I know everyone is different and peoples bodies react differently to different things, but maybe seeing as this site is in fact a site for healthier living, people shouldn't be able to set goals under their lowest healthy bmi. At some point it will be considered unhealthy...

    But hey, that's just my opinion...
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    I agree with you 100%: It is none of your business and you should not be judging other peoples' goals.
  • Tarah1357
    Tarah1357 Posts: 139 Member
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    Also, this seems to be a problem more with girls than guys, from what I've seen, and I still don't know how girls haven't understood that being just skin and bones is not only unhealthy, but unattractive.

    Good point!
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    But naturally slender folks aren't the ones on here trying to get to 100 lbs with extreme diet and exercise. :frown: I have no problems with naturally slender. I used to be one in my early to mid 20s... then I got married and discovered Ranch Dressing. Yum. :smile:

    LOL--this is how it happened for me, too! I graduated from HS at my full adult height (5'7") and 94 lbs. I ate all day long and looked like I had been assembled with tinker toys. Then I started aging and kept eating (god, Ranch dressing IS good, isn't it?) and packed on about 65 lbs. I recognize that 94 lbs was for an 18-year-old girl with no hips, and am now working toward a reasonable and healthy goal. This original post is so true--it makes me so sad when I see people with 20 lb/month goals or tall gals trying to get to really low weights or men trying to get to single digit body fat. I wish everyone only wanted to be healthy and hot in the body they have. BTW, I learned in nutrition class this week that 22-23 is the BMI associated with the lowest mortality. It (mortality) climbs pretty steeply as you get under 17 or so. It's not the skinnier, the better--body fat has a purpose.
  • Martha_VH
    Martha_VH Posts: 386 Member
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    AMEN to all MFP sisters!

    I know I can stand to lose a few pounds. However, I am 5'4'' and with the hips God gave me, I think I would look anorexic at 110 pounds. Now I don't want to be the Pillsbury dough-girl but I don't want to be a skeleton either. ( I LOVE my hips btw)

    I know many people who have lost significant amounts of weight 50-100 pounds were in the 200-300 range to begin with. Good for them! They're inspiring

    But I have also seen many people with unrealistic goals. I saw a girl who was in the 200 range, but she was hoping to lose 60 pounds by the end of May. Sorry its just not going to work. The people who have lost 100 pounds have done it over 1-2 years... she might be able to lose 20-25 pounds by then, and that would be great.

    But I know my former (fat) self would get to May, see that I hadn't lost 60 pounds then eat a pint of moose tracks and maybe give up.


    Keep up the good work ladies!
  • britshiv9
    britshiv9 Posts: 12
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    I agree with you 100%: It is none of your business and you should not be judging other peoples' goals.


    No one is judging, just want to support people and make sure they don't go from one unhealthy weight to another.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    But naturally slender folks aren't the ones on here trying to get to 100 lbs with extreme diet and exercise. :frown: I have no problems with naturally slender. I used to be one in my early to mid 20s... then I got married and discovered Ranch Dressing. Yum. :smile:

    LOL--this is how it happened for me, too! I graduated from HS at my full adult height (5'7") and 94 lbs. I ate all day long and looked like I had been assembled with tinker toys. Then I started aging and kept eating (god, Ranch dressing IS good, isn't it?) and packed on about 65 lbs. I recognize that 94 lbs was for an 18-year-old girl with no hips, and am now working toward a reasonable and healthy goal. This original post is so true--it makes me so sad when I see people with 20 lb/month goals or tall gals trying to get to really low weights or men trying to get to single digit body fat. I wish everyone only wanted to be healthy and hot in the body they have. BTW, I learned in nutrition class this week that 22-23 is the BMI associated with the lowest mortality. It (mortality) climbs pretty steeply as you get under 17 or so. It's not the skinnier, the better--body fat has a purpose.

    Of course...I definitely gained unprecedented weight with my pregnancies. Since I never ever had been overweight or even considered it a possibility it was not only a slap in the face but I simply didn't really understand how to lose weight!

    I am probably not going to get myself down to 118 specifically. I CAN do that. I am the kind of person that does not lack in willpower or determination once I have my mind made up, it WILL happen. I won't do that because my husband will think I'm too too skinny. (Which is weird because he met me at that weight? I so want to climb in his head and figure out wth that is about..dear husband...I was fine then..apparently hot enough at that weight..so why all the disclaimers about not losing lovely things like my rear end etc? Hmm?)

    I will look 'skinny' at 130 just because of the way I'm built anyway.
  • jojo_hill44
    jojo_hill44 Posts: 4
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    I definitely agree. I have been "morbidly" obese for a long time now. I was close to 300lbs - but happy that I'm closer to the 200lb mark.

    I had a fitness "analysis" to determine a healthy weight for my heigh (5'6") and my bone/body structure. The result was 145 - 155lbs. I've set my goal to be 145lbs, but if I'm happy with 155lbs...when I get there...then that's where I'll stay.

    My goal isn't to be skinny - I don't want to be skinny - I want to be healthy. If that means wearing a size 8 or 10..then so be it!! I don't have to be a size 0 to feel great, look great...and most importantly - be healthy.
  • Dobsaya
    Dobsaya Posts: 235
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    That is funny. When I met my husband I was 5'8", 140 pounds. Now I am about 154 and he and his entire family is saying if I get any smaller it will be to skinny and I am thinking hello, I was 140 when we met and that's what attracted me to you.
  • beastlye
    beastlye Posts: 37
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    I will do my best to not sound as if I'm lecturing:

    Weight loss is an incredibly personal journey. I think it's great that we have a supportive community here, but I don't want my weight goals to influence anyone else's. I think it's a dangerous thing to tell a fellow MFP participant that their goals are unreasonable (even if they are)--you're invalidating a person who probably has a host of other confidence issues to face as it is. The last thing you want to do is increase someone's defensive mechanisms if they're on a 'bad path.' You are certainly free to think as you please, but if you must express your opinion, you have to be EXTREMELY tactful about it (empathy is key).

    Now, if there's a serious problem (which you probably won't know about unless you know them personally -- loss of menstruation for women, hair loss, etc), then I think it's crucial to get help from a professional.

    Spread love, support, and INFORMATION if you are worried for someone's safety. Don't let them make you feel differently about your own goals--we're all doing the best we can here!
  • kimmrdodge
    kimmrdodge Posts: 190 Member
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    I agree with a lot of what your saying but I think your problem is more with humanity and human choices rather than anything that MFP has done or encouraged. I don't think anyone should dislike a website due to the choices people on it make.
  • madijo41
    madijo41 Posts: 367 Member
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    I just saw that very issue in someones signature the other day. 5' 6" and goal weight was 100 lbs. And giving weight loss advise:grumble:
  • Cytherea
    Cytherea Posts: 515 Member
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    I totally agree. I love this site, it is so helpful, but there are people on here who are using it to serious hurt themselves. Whether it is an unhealthy and unrealistic goal weight, or an unhealthy and unrealistic time frame to lose it in, they are setting themselves up for pain and failure, and won't listen to anybody who tries to help them, and that really bothers me too. I see a lot of people say things on the forum that are scary, because they are so obsessive, they are turning it into an eating disorder instead of just trying to lose weight and be healthy. And other people ARE encouraging this type of behavior- whether it is telling them they've done a good job when they eat too little or work out too much or whatever it is. I especially worry at the type of posts where somebody complains because people around them are saying they are too skinny and not to lose any more weight- and the responses are all "they are just jealous, you go girl, keep at it!" Sometimes, these people really ARE too skinny and are underweight and unhealthy- not all other human beings say things purely out of jealousy. It never occurred to them that they actually CARE and are trying to help someone with a problem, and then they come here and get all the opposite from strangers on a forum! Not ok.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    I agree with you 100%: It is none of your business and you should not be judging other peoples' goals.


    No one is judging, just want to support people and make sure they don't go from one unhealthy weight to another.

    Those were the OP's words, not mine. I was just agreeing with her.
  • stevobo
    stevobo Posts: 23 Member
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    I saw an upsetting thing at the gym last week- a young girl, as skinny as internment camp victim, using a side stepping machine designed to trim the inner thighs down- but she really had no thighs at all.
    I was waiting to use the machine myself and realized that she was on that one machine for over an hour and a half.
    She was stick thin and you could tell that she hardly ate, and was working to get her legs as stick thin as possible, rather than to gain shape.
    You would think the gym would have some kind of policy of excluding people like that , but what would it achieve?
    They'd just go somewhere else.
    It was quite sad to see, but as a stranger you hardly feel comfortable about walking up to her and mentioning anything.
    I haven't come across anorexia problems in MFP yet- haven't been around long enough, but what would you say is the best thing to say to someone who is obviously damaging themselves?
    It's a difficult situation, and often, by trying to help, you can make it worse.
    So what do you do?
    Try and build their confidence?
    It seems as if they have a concrete view if their own body image which you cannot change no matter what.
  • Sheltie4
    Sheltie4 Posts: 65 Member
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    I think it is really sad that people want to get down so low. I am 5ft 4ins and just wanting to get back 145 (10 stone 5pounds) - I love being at this weight, my clothes fit and I feel good.

    When I lost a lot of weight years ago I got down to 129 pounds (9 stone 3 pounds) and fought like mad to stay there, but it was impossible - I did like being at that weight, but I love eating out and drinking wine more!

    So 145 for me - hopefully!:smile:

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