I need to vent (rant)

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  • bkelley32148
    bkelley32148 Posts: 279 Member
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    I completely understand how frustrating this can be. My mom is a foster mom and often times these children choose to not live to their full potential. It is important to be intrinsically driven instead of extrinsecally driven... good luck.
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
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    Re: the 80 being an A- in university -- I wish that were true at my university! I wonder if they've changed in the ... er ... decades since I graduated. =(

    An 83% for me is failing at the graduate level....
  • newuser111
    newuser111 Posts: 40
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    If you push too hard, and/or don't at least show pride and appreciation for what he's doing well, then he'll throw up his hands and quit on you.

    This was what happened to me. I felt whatever I did was never enough, no matter how I tried nothing would ever please my mom so I just gave up. I regret that now.. but if my mom had been more encouraging, work with me to figure out the problem instead of focusing criticism, things would have turned out different. Give him more encouragement, some kids respond better to that. :flowerforyou:
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    i think honor roll is overrated. people put too much stock into numbers. just because a student can work the numbers doesn't necessarily mean they can think and apply what they have learned - *if* they have actually really learned anything at all, that is.

    While I completely understand this perspective- your child has to go to school no matter what. At least that is true where I live. Whether they learn anything or not is up to the student and the parent. They have to go and they must strive to be the best that they can- learning- or not is another item.
    Of course, most good parents that emphasize education attempt to encourage stronger academic performance with supplementation.
  • loupammac
    loupammac Posts: 194 Member
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    My sister and I have always been good students. We were usually straight A's (except for sport but we weren't athletic kids!). My parents always pushed for us to use our full potential. We were encouraged to try our hardest and ALL homework and assignments had to be completed. There was no negotiating. The only subject they ever really relaxed about was sport but as long as we got a passing grade of C, they were happy. My mother introduced a system where for each A (A or A+) that we got on our end of semester report card, we'd receive $20 and for each B (A-/B+/B) we'd receive $10. For us before I got my first job, this was a big deal. We could earn some "serious" money just by getting good grades. My sister still looks forward to her report card money.

    Perhaps you could do something similar? I'd talk with the teacher as well and just find out how your son's going in class. It might be an "easy" subject but to him it could be the hardest thing in the world. Maths for me was the toughest and I really struggled, even at the simplest level (we had three levels). My parents knew it wasn't my strong point but were happy when I pulled in B's if everything else was stellar. Perhaps he just won't be honor roll but that's okay if he's trying his hardest!

    Phew! Sorry - long post.
  • mikeyml
    mikeyml Posts: 568 Member
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    Re: the 80 being an A- in university -- I wish that were true at my university! I wonder if they've changed in the ... er ... decades since I graduated. =(

    An 83% for me is failing at the graduate level....

    On another note I earned a Master's Degree from Johns Hopkins and failing for us was a C (70-79). If you earned one C during your time in the graduate program then you went on academic probation. If you earned two Cs then you were dismissed all together.

    Here is my take on the whole thing. I'm sure your son knows he could have done better and there are all sorts of reasons why he might have earned the grade that he did. Perhaps it was playing too many video games or perhaps some of his work was graded a bit unfairly. The best way to find out would be to sit down with him and ask him why he thought he didn't do too well this quarter. Don't point the finger or be accusatory. Just let him tell you how he can improve his scores and what he can do better. It will let him set goals for himself and build his self confidence.

    I know we all want our kids to be straight A students and never make a mistake, but that's just not reality.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    Re: the 80 being an A- in university -- I wish that were true at my university! I wonder if they've changed in the ... er ... decades since I graduated. =(

    An 83% for me is failing at the graduate level....

    On another note I earned a Master's Degree from Johns Hopkins and failing for us was a C (70-79). If you earned one C during your time in the graduate program then you went on academic probation. If you earned two Cs then you were dismissed all together.

    Here is my take on the whole thing. I'm sure your son knows he could have done better and there are all sorts of reasons why he might have earned the grade that he did. Perhaps it was playing too many video games or perhaps some of his work was graded a bit unfairly. The best way to find out would be to sit down with him and ask him why he thought he didn't do too well this quarter. Don't point the finger or be accusatory. Just let him tell you how he can improve his scores and what he can do better. It will let him set goals for himself and build his self confidence.

    I know we all want our kids to be straight A students and never make a mistake, but that's just not reality.



    Very nice!! Way to work hard. I have scheduled a parent teachers conference for later today.
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
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    .
    [/quote]



    Very nice!! Way to work hard. I have scheduled a parent teachers conference for later today.
    [/quote]

    Nice! Way to stay on top of your kids education! There need to be more parents like you!
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    Well now that is all cleared up. He is messing around a bit. I found out for current events all he has to do is bring in recent magazine articles and newpapers to discuss the issues with the class. Never new this one. My son has not brought ONE in, I wish teachers who's schools are online would post classroom requirements. They have the opportunity and are not using it, when I asked the teacher why he did not post this to the website he replied "he is in 7th grade and needs to start being responsible for his own work". Yes and no. He IS 7th GRADE!!!!!!!!! So I think they are both to blame for this one, the teacher is right when he says he needs to be responsible, but at the same time, I feel assignments should be posted so parents can check what their kids are supposed to be doing. Oh boy.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    Well now that is all cleared up. He is messing around a bit. I found out for current events all he has to do is bring in recent magazine articles and newpapers to discuss the issues with the class. Never new this one. My son has not brought ONE in, I wish teachers who's schools are online would post classroom requirements. They have the opportunity and are not using it, when I asked the teacher why he did not post this to the website he replied "he is in 7th grade and needs to start being responsible for his own work". Yes and no. He IS 7th GRADE!!!!!!!!! So I think they are both to blame for this one, the teacher is right when he says he needs to be responsible, but at the same time, I feel assignments should be posted so parents can check what their kids are supposed to be doing. Oh boy.

    I totally back you up on that.
    But this is why I ask my son questions like a lawyer and cover ALL of my bases and make sure there are zero loopholes for him to say later "but you didn't say"
    "I forgot"
    "I didn't know"
    "You didn't ask me that"
    "Oh"

    I hate that I have to do that but I have to quiz him or he will just lie by omission about homework etc LOL.
  • Still_Sossy
    Still_Sossy Posts: 868 Member
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    Well now that is all cleared up. He is messing around a bit. I found out for current events all he has to do is bring in recent magazine articles and newpapers to discuss the issues with the class. Never new this one. My son has not brought ONE in, I wish teachers who's schools are online would post classroom requirements. They have the opportunity and are not using it, when I asked the teacher why he did not post this to the website he replied "he is in 7th grade and needs to start being responsible for his own work". Yes and no. He IS 7th GRADE!!!!!!!!! So I think they are both to blame for this one, the teacher is right when he says he needs to be responsible, but at the same time, I feel assignments should be posted so parents can check what their kids are supposed to be doing. Oh boy.

    I totally back you up on that.
    But this is why I ask my son questions like a lawyer and cover ALL of my bases and make sure there are zero loopholes for him to say later "but you didn't say"
    "I forgot"
    "I didn't know"
    "You didn't ask me that"
    "Oh"

    I hate that I have to do that but I have to quiz him or he will just lie by omission about homework etc LOL.


    I am really not cracking a joke here, but I really think it might be something with little boys. My son has always been a lot like what you are describing, and so are several of my friends. And people that have boys and girls really notice a difference in how they study and learn. My daughter is very independant, and I can count on her to get the work done with just a little checking. My son you do really have to ask every possible angle of a question to make sure all is done.

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