Friend Requests without a Message??

katbass

I know I dont send friend requests on here often, but when I do, I like to write the person a message re: WHY I am requesting to be involved in their MFP life. Maybe I saw a great post they wrote. Or maybe we have similar goals or start-weights. I like to let them know who I am so they know how I found them and why I am sending the request.

I dont want to sound mean or deter folks from friending me, but Im just curious why some people send friend requests without a note or little message? With the recent troll bothering a blogger here, I am hesitant to add anyone who doesnt give me a hint how you found me

Celo24

That's fair. I'm guilty of requesting friends without sending a message. I wasn't aware that some of y'all have MFP stalkers/creepers. Point noted. I'll be better from now on.

velix

I was having this exact conversation yesterday with someone - the blank friend request always makes me wonder "why ... why me" (not in a bad way, just - why did someone decide to send me a request out of the blue ...)

NightOwl1

I'm really active on the boards, and I get a lot of friend requests sent to me, and I'd say 90% of them don't have a message. A message is always nice, but I accept pretty much anyone regardless of whether they send a message or not.

My general policy is that you're in until you're out, so I'll welcome in anyone first. If someone isn't positive or productive or has other motives for being here, I'll remove that person if I don't feel like they'd be a good friend.

But I've met a lot of awesome people here who have randomly friend requested me without including anything.

katbass

I was having this exact conversation yesterday with someone - the blank friend request always makes me wonder "why ... why me" (not in a bad way, just - why did someone decide to send me a request out of the blue ...)

YESSS! haha Im so glad Im not alone! Its not even about stalkers or creepers really...Its just about being aware of who I am allowing into my kitchen haha Im a friendly gal, I think. I try to be supportive and I do appreciate the support I get from my MFP friends. I just appreciate knowing where those friends found me

BellySoonGone

Just ignore the stalkers - no big deal.

AggieCass09

I'm all for friend requests with messages. When one comes with a message I'm WAY more likely to learn something about that person and it helps later when motivating one another.

NoAdditives

I'm really active on the boards, and I get a lot of friend requests sent to me, and I'd say 90% of them don't have a message. A message is always nice, but I accept pretty much anyone regardless of whether they send a message or not.

My general policy is that you're in until you're out, so I'll welcome in anyone first. If someone isn't positive or productive or has other motives for being here, I'll remove that person if I don't feel like they'd be a good friend.

But I've met a lot of awesome people here who have randomly friend requested me without including anything.

Same here. (All of it.)

SunLove8

I know I dont send friend requests on here often, but when I do, I like to write the person a message re: WHY I am requesting to be involved in their MFP life. Maybe I saw a great post they wrote. Or maybe we have similar goals or start-weights. I like to let them know who I am so they know how I found them and why I am sending the request.

I dont want to sound mean or deter folks from friending me, but Im just curious why some people send friend requests without a note or little message? With the recent troll bothering a blogger here, I am hesitant to add anyone who doesnt give me a hint how you found me

Yikes! That's me! I don't normally send a message with a request cuz I normally have already read their introduction or what not and thought it would be nice to be supportive and automatically send a request at times; however, I get your point Thank you for the heads up, for I'll start sending a message with a friend request :flowerforyou:

katbass

NightOwl, I guess, without thinking about it, I have sort of adopted the same theory "Youre in until youre out." I just had a sudden influx of friend requests and not one of them gave a lil note to say "HI..." even. Makes ya wonder.....?

ajbeans

I just never send friend requests, myself. If I get one without a message, and I don't know who it is, I take a look at their recent threads. I've had a couple of people request me after I answered a question they had, and that's ok with me. But I would deny them if it seemed out of the blue and there was no message.

NeuroticVirgo

I've send a few without a message...but its usually because its people on a particular topic (like a challenge or a group that I talk with often and never got around to actually befriending them). I guess I just assumed they'd recognize me from the topic. :laugh:

NightOwl1

NightOwl, I guess, without thinking about it, I have sort of adopted the same theory "Youre in until youre out." I just had a sudden influx of friend requests and not one of them gave a lil note to say "HI..." even. Makes ya wonder.....?

I think it's different as a guy. I've gotten a number of friend requests from very attractive women on here without a message or any idea where they found me. But I'm not exactly going to complain about that.

katbass

I dont want to "just ignore the stalkers - no big deal" because chances are, they arent "stalkers", but more likely someone looking for motivation or support. For the record, Ive only denied one person (intentionally) and one person who didnt have any posts or a picture or a note. I have accidentally denied requests once or twice.


haha...off to accept the friend requests that are lighting up my inbox haha (as long as you have a message!) haha

Hearts_2015

I'm really active on the boards, and I get a lot of friend requests sent to me, and I'd say 90% of them don't have a message. A message is always nice, but I accept pretty much anyone regardless of whether they send a message or not.

My general policy is that you're in until you're out, so I'll welcome in anyone first. If someone isn't positive or productive or has other motives for being here, I'll remove that person if I don't feel like they'd be a good friend.

But I've met a lot of awesome people here who have randomly friend requested me without including anything.

Same here. (All of it.)

ditto for me! I think there are many new people on here looking to have friends and I would never turn someone down, we all want to belong. I see no reason to turn down a friend before even getting to know them. I've met the best people on here and I find less rules for new members the better, they don't know all these things so maybe we should cut them some slack?:flowerforyou: We all learn as we go and as we get more comfortable.

AngelsKisses75

I don't always send a message with a friend request in here, but I will have an answer for someone if they want to know why I requested to add them. If someone feels like they do not want to add me because I didn't drop them a note then that is up to them. I am not worried about stalkers, or jerks in here. Not to mention it is just as easy to remove someone as it is to add them.

I have found a great crew of people, so far, all with like minded goals. Personally I think we know what the common factor is. We are here for fitness, to give support, to get support, and in general to meet our goals. I never meant to offend someone with a friend request, and I wouldn't be offended by someone requesting to add me ... with or with out a note. I will wait until I get to know them to be offended. :flowerforyou:

katbass

ditto for me! I think there are many new people on here looking to have friends and I would never turn someone down, we all want to belong. I see no reason to turn down a friend before even getting to know them. I've met the best people on here and I find less rules for new members the better, they don't know all these things so maybe we should cut them some slack?:flowerforyou: We all learn as we go and as we get more comfortable.

Im not trying to cut people out before getting to know them. I just like when my friends (in real life, and the ones who live in my computer) have enough manners to say "hi".

And apparently I need to clarify that adding me with the note "becos your hot" doesnt count in my book. Im here for fitness and food friends.....and Im fairly certain my husband is in a few of my profile pics But thanks for the compliment...?

Hearts_2015

NightOwl, I guess, without thinking about it, I have sort of adopted the same theory "Youre in until youre out." I just had a sudden influx of friend requests and not one of them gave a lil note to say "HI..." even. Makes ya wonder.....?

Wonder what???:huh: That a new person found a post they enjoyed that you wrote, or that a friend of yours sent them to you to befriend or someone is simply looking for a friend on MFP? I guess I don't understand why you're so leery, perhaps I'm simply not paranoid about these types of things. :noway: I opened up a new account because I had been gone (Military) so now I'm back and catching up but reading this maybe I'll steer clear of adding any:ohwell: if people are so suspicious.

Hearts_2015

I don't always send a message with a friend request in here, but I will have an answer for someone if they want to know why I requested to add them. If someone feels like they do not want to add me because I didn't drop them a note then that is up to them. I am not worried about stalkers, or jerks in here. Not to mention it is just as easy to remove someone as it is to add them.

I have found a great crew of people, so far, all with like minded goals. Personally I think we know what the common factor is. We are here for fitness, to give support, to get support, and in general to meet our goals. I never meant to offend someone with a friend request, and I wouldn't be offended by someone requesting to add me ... with or with out a note. I will wait until I get to know them to be offended. :flowerforyou:

:flowerforyou:

Nigel99

I've always attached a message to my requests. Just seems like a bit of courtesy, but I would expect that a lot of people don't do that. I haven't received too many requests, but I believe the couple I did get had a message attached.

Hearts_2015

ditto for me! I think there are many new people on here looking to have friends and I would never turn someone down, we all want to belong. I see no reason to turn down a friend before even getting to know them. I've met the best people on here and I find less rules for new members the better, they don't know all these things so maybe we should cut them some slack?:flowerforyou: We all learn as we go and as we get more comfortable.

Im not trying to cut people out before getting to know them. I just like when my friends (in real life, and the ones who live in my computer) have enough manners to say "hi".

And apparently I need to clarify that adding me with the note "becos your hot" doesnt count in my book. Im here for fitness and food friends.....and Im fairly certain my husband is in a few of my profile pics But thanks for the compliment...?

Maybe it's because you're wearing a 'hot mama' tshirt?

katbass

NightOwl, I guess, without thinking about it, I have sort of adopted the same theory "Youre in until youre out." I just had a sudden influx of friend requests and not one of them gave a lil note to say "HI..." even. Makes ya wonder.....?

Wonder what???:huh: That a new person found a post they enjoyed that you wrote, or that a friend of yours sent them to you to befriend or someone is simply looking for a friend on MFP? I guess I don't understand why you're so leery, perhaps I'm simply not paranoid about these types of things. :noway: I opened up a new account because I had been gone (Military) so now I'm back and catching up but reading this maybe I'll steer clear of adding any:ohwell: if people are so suspicious.

Thats exactly what I wonder. Did they find me through a post they liked? Or did they find me through a friend of a friend? Im not "leery" or "paranoid"...Im simply curious. I dont think you should allow my curiosity to deter you from making friends as you get back into the land of MFP. Welcome back, and thanks for your military service (And I MEAN that..Im not being snarky.)

katbass

ditto for me! I think there are many new people on here looking to have friends and I would never turn someone down, we all want to belong. I see no reason to turn down a friend before even getting to know them. I've met the best people on here and I find less rules for new members the better, they don't know all these things so maybe we should cut them some slack?:flowerforyou: We all learn as we go and as we get more comfortable.

Im not trying to cut people out before getting to know them. I just like when my friends (in real life, and the ones who live in my computer) have enough manners to say "hi".

And apparently I need to clarify that adding me with the note "becos your hot" doesnt count in my book. Im here for fitness and food friends.....and Im fairly certain my husband is in a few of my profile pics But thanks for the compliment...?

Maybe it's because you're wearing a 'hot mama' tshirt?

touche

LainMac

I try to be a very active cheerleader to my MFP pals. (Not great lately but in the past I've been pretty good.) So I'm sort of picky on who I say "yes" too. I've asked people "why me" and some were shocked by the question. Of course, most of the shocked people are young enough to be my kids. I've been on other types of forums on other subjects and have over the years become more leery of "letting it all hang out." until I get to know some of my invisable friends bettr.

When I've asked to become friends with someone, I've always told them why. (Your post cracked me up. Your blog is inspirational. We have a mutual friend in common and I see how supportive you are to our mutal bud, etc.)

So personally, I don't say yes to freind requests without a message.

MissyFit08

I'm not a stalker at all! I friend people without a message. Usually it's because we have something in common and I think we would be good at supporting each other. If it ever turns out to be a creepodepot you can always delete them.

If you would respond and ask why then I will tell you. I guess I'm flying all over the board and I suppose I could take 10 more seconds to type a line :bigsmile:

DianaPowerUp

I add note to friend requests, b/c I want the person to know why I wanted to friend them (their post struck a note with me, we have similar lives/goals etc). I only had one friend request so far without a note, but I just figured that she must've read something I wrote, and liked it.