Little Motivation and even less support

binsylad

Strange place to put this Blog, but never mind.

After my weigh in this morning , I told my wife my weight loss 2lbs , and all I was greeted with is...... "....is that it !".

I have lost just shy of a stone in just less than a month. Myself - I am pretty chuffed.

Apparently My lifestyle change is making me moody and making everyone else stressed!

Is this happening to anyone else - A totally disinterested and non motivating partner?

The problem of course, is that her Negativity has a habit of pulling me down.

The only thing that I can add is that I am just glad that I am enduring this for myself and not for her!

MIKE / UK

Crowhorse

Just don't include her in it, then. If she's just going to comment negatively, then don't announce your results.

Be proud of yourself. This isn't easy, but you'll feel better for it!

CharlestonUSC

Is your wife overweight too? I know a common theme amongst couples when one person is trying to lose weight the spouse will be negative b/c they fear you're going to change your life for a good and they might get left behind. I think you should sit down with her and explain to her that you need her support.

The biggest thing is to realize you are making a huge stride in improving your life and LITERALLY adding years to your life. If you ever need some motivation youtube some "Biggest Loser" clips or even watch the show b/c that gets me motivated. And if all else fails man you have to buck up and thicken your skin. Don't let someone's negativity impact your goals of losing weight. If they don't like it they can get the hell out!

orchid100

I`m sorry to hear you`re not getting the support you need at home..... but you have to remember you are doing this for you ... no one else. Look to your friends here to see you thru and try and keep up beat about it. You`re doing so very very well and if you are like me it will make a great difference to your life.

Keep it going, keep smiling and don`t let others get you down ....

take care

gadzu

I feel you have to be doing this because YOU want to do it. One will never succeed with weight loss without a deep desire to reach a personal goal. It's a game of ones and twos, slowly chipping away at your former self. Your two pound loss is great, and you just have to keep doing what you're doing.Great job!

dbcja

I was going to say the same thing. Just be proud of yourself and dont tell her.
Maybe she is jelous that youcan get on and do something to change your life?
My partner is really supportive when I tell him what I have lost, but seems to think I can do it by magic. He still buys me lots of crap to eat which is just as unsupportive and hard. Then he gets mad if I say I am not eating chocolate or icecream.
Its hard having someone in your life who "doesnt get it" but just know you are making the right choices for yourself and your future and one day she will thank you for it.

cmmull67

She may be thinking that 2 pounds is insignificant, not realizing that the overall goal takes time to achieve. Maybe get her more involved with menu planning or exercise with you, and let her see how you are sacrificing. Once she realizes how hard you are working, and what the end result will be (a stud she can't keep her hands off of) she might be more positive and supportive.

Either way, good luck, and don't let her get you down.

newdaydawning79

I'm very lucky. My partner is on this journey with me and we celebrate each other's successes and help each other when we're down. My mother is one of those people who mentions how hard it'll be to keep it off after the fact and always seems to be trying to shoot us down, stating it's "being realistic." I'm just not mentioning the successes to her anymore so I don't have to hear it. It's not as easy when the person is living with you though, I'm sure. Keep your chin up, you're doing great!

papastu

mate you should be so proud of yourself, I think you have done awesome to lose that in a month, i'm sure the moods could be down to a change of diet, maybe your diet change is affecting your mood but i'm sure she must appreciate the effort you are putting in,I feel very lucky that my misses has jumped onboard along with the children for a better life... and a longer one

keep up the BRILLIANT work Mike


Stu

coog81855

Congratulations on your weight loss! Any amount lost is a step forward! Be proud of yourself! Get healthy for you!! Is your wife overweight? If she is then maybe she is a little bit jealous that you have decided to take control of your life and health. My husband is supportive of me and my journey. I would imagine that it is difficult for you not to have your spouses support. Get your support from other places, like here on MFP! We are all here to support each other. This is a life changing journey! Your wife will see how comitted you are and will soon want to join you in your journey! Keep up the good work and keep us posted!

amaried621

Even if you only lose .5lbs that is still an accomplishment to be proud of. It's unfortunate that your wife isn't as excited as you are or as supportive. You have a whole family here that will cheer you on and please don't be discouraged by other people. My goal is to lose about 1 lb per week. If you lose a lot quick, I think that you are more likely to gain some, if not all, of it back. Keep it at a good, steady pace and keep your head up. Congrats on the 2lbs lost!

trailrunner_jules

I'll cheer you on-- 2 POUNDS!!!!!!! THAT'S PHENOMENAL! How nice to see the results of your hard work and commitment! I actually went up on the scale this week --even with eating right (most days) and exercising every day. Losing weight is hard because it represents so much more than just bad habits. To truly lose weight the healthy way we are forced to examine every aspect of our life. You are doing great! Maybe this threatens your wife?! Nonetheless, WAY TO GO!!! What are you going to reward yourself with for meeting your goal? A nice long walk? Time doing something fun with your kids?

shaheerahs

Maybe you should have a heart to heart talk with your wife and tell her how her lack of support and negative comments make you feel. I would hope that she is not being unsupportive on purpose.

No matter what though you should be proud of yourself, you've worked very hard to lose weight and to become a better/healthier person. Don't depend on any one else's approval to motivate you or let their negativity get you down.

savage677

Hang in there and don't give up. Change is scary especially for those around you, even if its for good reasons, my family finds it threatening even when they say they want me to be healthier, and they express it by belittling my weight loss achievements. Don't give up, find the support you need with like minded people and know the payoff in the end will be worth it.

Believe4

Don't be discouraged. You are doing this for yourself and your health. For now seek motivation and support for MFP friends. Be aware of any sabotaging by your wife ie: cooking favorite recipes that are loaded with calories, stocking the kitchen with food you don't want to eat. You are on a journey for yourself. Look within yourself and be proud of yourself for the daily positive choices your are making. Success is not a number. 17 yrs ago I hit my goal weight and became a lifetime member of Weight Watcher's. In sharing my success, my husband was ecsatic but made the comment that WOW another 5 lbs you would be so Hot! At the time he had no idea how devastating that was. I had lost over 50 lbs to get there. (Eventually he did realize and apologized profusely. He didn't intend for it to hurt.) The comment stayed with me for years. 12 months later I gained all my weight back and then some. I have never been that weight again. It has taken me years to figure out my body and my health is important for me. I need to be happy in my own skin. Today we are supporting each other as we are both members of MFP. It is fun and we have come a long way. My goal is actually 7 lbs heavier than my WW goal of 17 years ago. When I get there we will both be celebrating.

Maksmama

Any weight loss is better than a weight gain, that's my gain any time I step on the scale, so :bigsmile: CONGRATULATIONS :bigsmile: on your weight loss.

AnnaPixie

The first thing is Binsy, why are you moody?? Are you eating enough?? Are you feeling deprived?? Are you eating enough carbs?? If you're hungry you need to up your food intake. If you're not smiling, you need to up your exercise! If you're feeling deprived, you need to eat some carbs!!! I'm not saying stuff yourself with chocolate, but carbs are very important to brain and mood function. If I am low on carbs, I feel sooooo moody!!

I am never in a better mood than when I'm eating healthy and exercising. SO please dont make the mistake that eating 'healthy' is eating little as possible and dropping weight as fast as possible. It's a long term process requireing patience and consistency.

As for Mrs Binsy, you need to have a serious talk with her and tell her how you feel about her crass comment. Tell her you NEED her support. Perhaps she doesnt realise what you're going through??

But as for like-minded support and empathy, you have US!!!! :bigsmile: Come on hun, we can do this!!!

LG61820

If you've lost almost 14 pounds in a month you are doing super! I think that spouses sometimes suffer a fear of the unknown. . . "what will happen when my husband becomes a hottie?"

Keep up the good work!

binsylad

Anna

A little Irony - I dont think that I am moody! I feel much happier throwing myself into this!

Before Christmas, I hadnt exercised AT ALL in years.

This month - I have walked the dog , walked the kids to school, Tae bo, Wii dance, Cycled and even shredded!!! All Frequently (As you know as you comment on my page)

If I am argued with, I will argue back lol

Mike

papastu

good for you, bet the dog is loving all the new attention :P

efalcon1

I know exactly how you feel. I've battled against my unsupportive husband since I started my journey less than a year ago. I've lost 3 stone and he's not happy about it - mostly down to his own insecurities. Still being encouraged to eat crap and gain weight. It's not nice but you sound just as determined as me so just use this sight and all these great people to get that extra support you are lacking. You are probably being defensive rather than moody if she's being unsupportive! You will achieve your goal x

Newfiedan

join the support group I posted for men we will help u keep motivated and get going on the right path bud.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/173185-support-for-the-men-dads-on-the-forum-re-for-the-30-som

GinaJ2006

That is hard. Maybe other people in your family can boost you up. My husband is pretty disinterested, but I can always count on my mom to give me kudos. We support each other at work too, since most of us are working on losing weight. Hopefully you can find someone else to help you stay motivated

kimcat73

Share it with us because we definitely want to see those results! Make lots of friends on here that can supplement the support you aren't getting at home. We are with ya!

papastu

If you've lost almost 14 pounds in a month you are doing super! I think that spouses sometimes suffer a fear of the unknown. . . "what will happen when my husband becomes a hottie?"

Keep up the good work!

lovin that bit about becomin' a hottie i can hope