Off the topic..kinda...online dating?

auntkaren

I have been seriously thinking of going on a online dating for people just in this area. I've been divorced 11 years now. I have seen where some of you ladies had met your husbands that way. I am way new at this and nervous about it. Tell me good advice and how you went about meeting the right guy for you please? I think it's wonderful about Manda and Sgt...wish them all the happiness in the world. :flowerforyou:

auntkaren

I have been seriously thinking of going on a online dating for people just in this area. I've been divorced 11 years now. I have seen where some of you ladies had met your husbands that way. I am way new at this and nervous about it. Tell me good advice and how you went about meeting the right guy for you please? I think it's wonderful about Manda and Sgt...wish them all the happiness in the world. :flowerforyou:

Gorgeous

I have been seriously thinking of going on a online dating for people just in this area. I've been divorced 11 years now. I have seen where some of you ladies had met your husbands that way. I am way new at this and nervous about it. Tell me good advice and how you went about meeting the right guy for you please? I think it's wonderful about Manda and Sgt...wish them all the happiness in the world. :flowerforyou:

To be honest...i dont like the idea of online dating
i think you should meet someone in real life
never know what your meeting online...eh goes the same for real life too...
but im KINDA tradiitonal! *shrug*
but i dont judge ppl who do it
i just would NEVER EVER IN A ZILLION years do it!
my best friend in the whole world married her online bf and they are crazy in love
but still something id NEVER do...and id never let my kids do it...but then to each his own..

if you do it...i hope you find someone amazing
and if you dont...i hope you find someone amazing too

aaubrey

I disagree with gorgeous. I think you can meet a crappy person in person too. I think it is just another way to facilitate meeting. I have never done it, but I have been lucky to love the same guy since I was 13. But, my mom met her husband, my bestfriend met hers that way too and they are both very happy. But, I would just KNOW what you are looking for and stick with it. And, like with any dating situation if you see a red flag in the beginning you should probably listen to it (like if he seems to get real angry real quick). The other thing my mom told me was to look for guys that dont still have young kids. That is never fun to deal with the every other weekend and the ex...hope that helps some and go for it, you never know what you will find till you try.

sgtinvincible

Aunt Karen, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever (etc) would have thought I could find someone so perfect for me, especially on the internet. Give it a try and see what develops. You never know....*shrug*

upnorth

auntkaren---go for it!
4 yrs ago my friend said to me, "what the hell...try it! it will at least make for great stories!"
now 4 yrs later after my first online relationship i am engaged to that first online match....the most wonderful man....who truly is my soul mate, best friend, and bestest laugh partner i've ever had!
i would recommend sites such as eharmony or sites with common interests...we met via a faith site (catholicmatch.com)......again GO FOR IT!!!! you only have one life to live...so live it up...you'll never know what can happen....

auntkaren

I have been seriously thinking of going on a online dating for people just in this area. I've been divorced 11 years now. I have seen where some of you ladies had met your husbands that way. I am way new at this and nervous about it. Tell me good advice and how you went about meeting the right guy for you please? I think it's wonderful about Manda and Sgt...wish them all the happiness in the world. :flowerforyou:

To be honest...i dont like the idea of online dating
i think you should meet someone in real life
never know what your meeting online...eh goes the same for real life too...
but im KINDA tradiitonal! *shrug*
but i dont judge ppl who do it
i just would NEVER EVER IN A ZILLION years do it!
my best friend in the whole world married her online bf and they are crazy in love

I moved to this little town a week after my divorce, and the pickings are not very good. They are mostly drugs or alcaholics , or down right lazy. Not good at all......Close to this area may be different, I hope,
but still something id NEVER do...and id never let my kids do it...but then to each his own..

if you do it...i hope you find someone amazing
and if you dont...i hope you find someone amazing too

auntkaren

I disagree with gorgeous. I think you can meet a crappy person in person too. I think it is just another way to facilitate meeting. I have never done it, but I have been lucky to love the same guy since I was 13. But, my mom met her husband, my bestfriend met hers that way too and they are both very happy. But, I would just KNOW what you are looking for and stick with it. And, like with any dating situation if you see a red flag in the beginning you should probably listen to it (like if he seems to get real angry real quick). The other thing my mom told me was to look for guys that dont still have young kids. That is never fun to deal with the every other weekend and the ex...hope that helps some and go for it, you never know what you will find till you try.

Thanks.....I will definitely keep those things in mind.

Healthier_Me

I say go for it honey!
Jeremy & Manda are a perfect example.

auntkaren

Aunt Karen, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever,ever (etc) would have thought I could find someone so perfect for me, especially on the internet. Give it a try and see what develops. You never know....*shrug*

I am so happy for you and Manda, it has been exciting to watch this all take place for you two. All my prayers and best wishes for yous.

TamTastic

I met my husband online, his mom met her husband online and his dad met his wife online. SOOOO! Yanno! hahahaha!

I just tried it out when a friend of mine (who was 42 and a single mother at the time), was doing it and asked me to do it with her. I figured it wouldn't hurt. I mean, I wasn't having it be the be-all-end-all of dating! I would still go out with friends and do my thing and maybe get a few interesting dates out of it....and I did have some fun ones!! LOL!

But yes, I then met my husband. It is kind of a nice progression. You start with emails, then move to phone and by the time you actually meet in person, you feel like you know them.

kerrilucko

I met my fiance online... it was kind of by accident though, I didn't go on a dating service or anything. We met on a campus website/ message board for our university, and because we went to the same school we actually met in person the very next day. I think it is really easy to meet a creep online, but I also think its really easy to meet a creep in the real world too. If you're interested in looking online I would go for it but don't tune out the rest of the world either. Get out there and meet people wherever you can because you never know what you'll stumble onto :flowerforyou:

artschoolgirl

Do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would have never met my amazing boyfriend, someone who I have so much in common with, if I didn't. Online dating gave me tons of confidence. After I started doing online dating and getting so much great response from guys, it gave me the confidence to also meet guys in a more traditional way as well. I think it was a great thing for me after losing so much weight.
Best of luck!

astridfeline

Definitely try it!! As noted above, it's one way of "facilitating" meeting new prospects. And people you meet in the "real" world can be just as jerky and possibly dangerous as those met on the net. I have found that "older" people (I'm 40) just don't socialize like younger people who may be in college or whatever. And my experience is, the pickings are slimmer as time goes by.

So try it!!

msarro

Honestly, any chance to meet people, online or off, is fine by me. I love meeting people in general, and online gives me a great place to do that.

Plus, it gives me a place to run hundreds and hundreds of pick up lines on 'disposable' girls to see what works and what doesn't, so I have more confidence with people face to face (I'm not mean, I'm honest!!!! Obviously no one is disposable, but theres a lot less approach anxiety with someone who exists to you solely as some words and a picture).

auntkaren

Definitely try it!! As noted above, it's one way of "facilitating" meeting new prospects. And people you meet in the "real" world can be just as jerky and possibly dangerous as those met on the net. I have found that "older" people (I'm 40) just don't socialize like younger people who may be in college or whatever. And my experience is, the pickings are slimmer as time goes by.

So try it!!

You are so correct, I just am not that old to go to the 18-80s club < I went there once and they are mostly my dad's age. :happy: I have always been the shy, alone type and not out going, and don't want some drunk in a bar. I kind of hate the idea of dating scene, seems like it should just happen.

wanderinglight

Aunt Karen...I say go for it! If anything, it puts the word out to the universe that you are looking and interested. I went out on a bunch of dates from match.com and ended up meeting more guys in the "real world" in natural settings, and I think it's because I was projecting a "ready to date" kinda vibe.

The dates that I had through online dating were mostly very nice and interesting guys and at the very least I got to get out of my comfort zone and meet some people I would have NEVER met otherwise.

The key is just to HAVE FUN with it! And don't worry too much about what you will look like or seem like to the other person -- it's just two people getting together to chat. No different than striking up a conversation at the grocery store checkout line...

Have fun and report back! I have good feelings about you getting back out there!

Katy009

I have been seriously thinking of going on a online dating for people just in this area. I've been divorced 11 years now. I have seen where some of you ladies had met your husbands that way. I am way new at this and nervous about it. Tell me good advice and how you went about meeting the right guy for you please? I think it's wonderful about Manda and Sgt...wish them all the happiness in the world. :flowerforyou:

Hi Aunt Karen,

DO IT! I met my husband online. Not a dating service or anything.....we just ended up chatting and everything went from there. And I think you can venture outside of your area......there are lots of interesting people out there to meet! Just be sure to keep someone close to you informed of everything that's going on.....just to be on the safe side. Good luck!

Katy

chilli

Go for it ......it can be tremendous fun:happy: I had a whale of a time on a dating site when my husband left me, gave me such an ego boost to know that I WASN'T past it and could still attract the fellas! (Gave it up after a year though...costs etc,:grumble: was a "luxury" couldn't really afford) I wish you all the best whatever happens:flowerforyou:

shorerider

All I can contribute is to say that my niece met her husband online, and they've been married now for about 10 years and are happy as ever. They met on some social website.

Also, my friend met his wife online via Yahoo personals. They just got married about 1 month ago.

If it works, it works.

Just be careful--but I think that goes for meeting online or in person.

kimber607

Hi

I say go for it, life it too short...just take it slowly and be cautious
GOOD LUCK!

Kim

ali106

Oh I also say go for it!!!!

I hope you meet some one wonderful....just like you!
hugs!
Ali :flowerforyou:

IndigoElectron

I am a BIG fan of online dating. I have a couple of friends who met their partners online, and I also met my last partner on a dating site. It didn't work out long term, but we were together for 2 years. I've now joined another site, I've only been on it for 3 weeks but I've already been asked out on 2 dates and am meeting someone tomorrow for the first time (wish me luck!)

I actually think you have a better chance of meeting someone suitable online than in real life. You can specify what you're looking for and make sure you find someone who fits that criteria. For example, one big reason myself and my last partner broke up was because I wanted children and he didn't (it did say this on his profile but I chose to ignore it and hope he'd come round - I certainly learned a lesson there!), so now I just look for men who do want them. You can also see what people have written, and get an idea if you'd have things in common. While in real life, you may see someone in a bar or something, and not know anything about them, whether they're married, gay, whatever!

Ok, it all sounds a bit scientific and some people might think it's not very romantic, but in my opinion that's rather an old fashioned attitude and simply not true. Reading the testimonials from people on the site I belong to, show that it CAN be just as romantic as meeting someone in everyday life, maybe even more so, since a lot of people don't necessarily expect to find true love online and are amazed when they do!

Anyway, you have my wholehearted encouragement! Let us know how it goes (I will do the same), and it would be great to hear from anyone else who is currently looking for love, whether online or in everyday life!

BlazinEmerald

My hubby and I met online in a Lycos chatroom 10 years ago. I never did an online dating "program" per say, we just found each other randomly. I have never regretted it for a moment. We talked for 2 years online and by phone, when he came to visit (8 yrs ago on July 15th) I moved to Canada to be with him 2 weeks later. It can work :flowerforyou:

GinaB30

Here's the thing...what makes meeting someone on the street, in a bar, or the mall, or ANYWHER any less dangerous than meeting someone online?

I met my first boyfriend online and he sucked...lol we were together 3 yrs though and I leaned how to NOT let a man treat me!
I also learned that from people I met in person for the first time....through friends, etc

Then I met my now husband online and what worked for us was talking a lot over the chat services, then we talked on the phone a bit, then we decided to meet at a public place. =o)
Now wer'e married, two kids, two cats, one weiner dog....lol
Good luck!!

Just want to add, we never met on a dating service either, just in a general chat area. And TRUST me you'll be able to weed out the real freaks..I avoided quite a few!!

Carrie6o6

I think everything has its advantages and disadvantages, one advantage I think of is now you almost have the WORLD to look through for a partner! I think thats awesome! You dont have to just stick to your town or area... You could find someone anywhere! I love my husband, I met him in a neighboring town but I think it would be cool to be with someone from another country. Go for Germany! hahaha

PrincessLaundry

Tee-hee!!! :laugh:

IndigoElectron

I had my first date last night with someone I met online

Unfortunately I knew as soon as I saw him and spoke to him that there was no spark. But it was a pleasant enough evening and it was good to be dating again.

I feel a bit demoralised today because someone I'd been chatting to online has stopped messaging me, which is a pity because I thought there was potential there. But I guess that's the main disadvantage of online dating - there's lots of competition and people are often chatting to a lot of other people, so you're kind of 'disposable'. But I'm not going to give up hope yet - I HAVE to believe there is someone out there that is right for me!

Sarandipity

I think it can be a valid way to meet new people. I met my boyfriend of 3 years on an online dating site. The funny thing was at the time we both worked in the same shopping mall, 3 stores away from each other, but our paths had never crossed.

You can meet some real creeps online, but I have met those at the bar as well. Online gives you the chance to show more of yourself if you are shy, but it can give ou a false sense of security. You still have to be careful, make sure any in person meetings are in public areas, let someone know who and where you are meeting.

Good Luck!

S

IndigoElectron

I think another problem is you can't help but build up an idea of what a person is like, and when you meet them, sometimes they are completely different! For example, I think I was a bit taken aback by my date last night because he wasn't really what I had expected and it probably showed - I kind of wanted to go home straight away and was a bit quieter than usual.

So yes, it's a good way to meet people but you need to keep an open mind and be prepared to meet up sooner rather than later, otherwise you can end up having a 'virtual' relationship rather than a real one! :laugh:

donna0003

If you do meet someone online, meet in a public place and don't let them know your number or address. After you meet, and feel like there may be a connection, or at least a possiblity of future conversation, then give your number, but only if it's unlisted or a cell number. Give it a few dates/meetings before actually meeting at his house or yours. Even then, wait a while before inviting him in. If anyone you talk to online has a problem with you waiting to give your number or address then don't talk to them.