Journey vs Destination

Lexie71

*Disclaimer* I am sharing thoughts about my own journey and how I see it and how I feel about it. If it sounds like I am judging your journey or something you are doing I apologize. That is not my intent at all. Whatever works for each individual is what they should do so please don't take it personally and feel free to share what works for you and why.

I see a lot of talk on here and on TV with every new diet, people talking about a "lifestyle change" and how you cannot diet you have to change your life. For many of those diets what they are saying is, "You have to diet the rest of your life". That always sounded like a death sentence to me.

Everyone knows that if you lose weight on a diet and then you go back to living and eating the way you did before you lost the weight you will gain it back, and usually then some! I know I've been there many times.

People say diets don't work. I'm hear to tell you they do. I've lost SOME weight on every diet I've been on....the cabbage soup diet, Weight Watchers, 1000 calorie a day diet, low card diet, low fat diet, eat a bunch of weird foods every two hours diet.....you name it I've probably tried it and lost some weight. For a long time I felt like a failure....weak, not enough will power....and each time I would say, "This time I'm going to stick to it and I mean it" and I did mean it. I'm a very strong person. I've overcome some huge obstacles in my life. But not this one. Diet after diet I would fail.

Until I finally learned that I wasn't a failure. I didn't fail the diet. The diets failed me. I say that because every diet plan has basically the same componants. "Good" foods, "bad" foods, rules, counting, weighing, measuring, planning ahead.....and most at least recommend exercise. But there were two things none of those diets really talked about.

1. Why do I eat when I am not hungry?
2. What can I do to change that (those) habits.

A lot of plans talk about things to do instead of eat but lets be honest.....how many times are you going to pass on that cheeseburger and take a walk instead before you give in "just this once"?

We can all think of things to do instead but what happens when the distractions no longer distract? On diets it seems my whole life is revolving around food. What am I eating now? Did I measure it? How many calories does it have? How many calories have I had? What am I going to eat at my next meal to stay under my calorie goal? And if I've eaten all of my calories for a day and I'm still hungry.....tough. No food for you. So then the next day I start out feelin deprived and hungry and I'm still trying to be "good" and hunger gets the best of me and towards the end of the day I'm in the same boat again.

None of the plans seemed to focus on individual differences and needs. Our bodies' needs fluxuate from day to day and it isn't just dependant on the amount of exercise we get. Caloric needs fluxuate due to hormones, stress, activity, how much we had to eat or drink at the last meal, how much sleep we are or are not getting and a mutitude of other things. Three women who are all 5'2" and 125 pounds with a moderately active lifestyle are all going to have different caloric needs. Giving only X number of calories period for them based on such little information isn't at all logical.

When did we stop listening to our bodies?

Then I found Am I Hungry, a non-diet approach written by a "recovered yo-yo dieter", Dr. Michelle May. And when I read it I knew I had found the truth for myself. I swore off dieting forever. No more rules. No more weighing, measuring, worrying and weigh ins. No rules is a pretty scary thing for a 300 pound woman. Could I really eat whatever I wanted and still lose the excess weight? Could I stop obsessing about food and get to a healthy place? No more "good" food? No more "bad" food? No more forcing myself to exercise? But I knew in my heart and head this was what I had been searching for.

Two years into my journey with Am I Hungry I still hadn't lost much weight. I couldn't stop myself from making up rules and using this like a diet. I had dieted most of my life and even though I felt I had failed on every one of them the rules had become a habit. One of the suggestions (not rules) is that before you eat you try to recognize whether or not you are truely hungry. for my diet mind that meant "If you are not hungry you cannot eat". I wasn't on a journey in that mindset....I was on a diet with an end goal in mind....lose weight.

It has been three years now and the weight loss snuck up on me as the diet mentality slipped further and further away. That third year, which was last year, I lost 50 pounds and didn't even realize it....didn't even believe it when my clothes got too big. I didn't believe it because I didn't diet. Not at all. I didn't count calories or weigh or measure. I stopped thinking about where and when my next meal was coming. I stopped obsessing about food and didn't get on the scale. My habits were changing.

I came to MFP because we started a wellness program at work and I wanted a place to track my exercise so I could get a discount on my health insurance. I guesstimate my caloric intake. I don't read labels. I choose the closest one I see on the list that is already here. If I go over or under for the day I don't bat an eye. Some days I am way under, like this week when I've been sick. Some days I'm way over like the week before my period. But without judging myself or following the rules of a diet I lost 13 more pounds in January. I haven't weighed yet this month. I may or may not depending on how I feel about the scale at the time. I don't have an end goal. My goal is to use food to fuel my life so if I am living and doing the things I want to do and enjoying life then I am reaching my goals. Weight loss is the bonus that comes from using food for it's intended purpose....for enjoyment and fuel. There is such freedom in this. This is something that not only CAN I do it for life, but it is so much a part of me now that I do it without thinking about it most of the time. I leave food on my plate and don't think twice about it. I automatically take smaller portions because I am more used to how much I need to satisfy my hunger. If I want cake, I eat cake. If I want broccoli I enjoy my broccoli. And I finally found exercises I look forward to doing and enjoy!!! I go to the gym in the morning for heaven's sake! ME....the night person who hates mornings! :noway:

I know it sounds too easy to be true. It wasn't easy to let go of all the rules and stop judging myself but it is becoming easier every day. The more I practice the better I become at not dieting. My cholesterol dropped 30 point this past year as well and it was under 200 to begin with.

I've made a lot of good friends on here and it is nice to have a place to support each other on whatever path we choose in life.

dmb0174

VERY INTERESTING and I am guessing in a lot of ways VERY true!

Good for you on losing the weight you have lost and for learning the very important truth (at least I believe it is a truth) that diets don't work. I am off to google the book you mentioned.

I wish you continued success on your journey!!!

Lexie71

Thank you.
It has been amazing. I grew up with a lot of screwed up messages about eating and it took a long time to start learning new ways of eating but I am consistantly amazed by the varieties of foods my body asks for when I listen. I think in general as people who struggle with weight we begin to feel our bodies have betrayed us and we no longer trust ourselves to know what we need. In many ways it is easier to follow the rules...at least for awhile, until the rules don't fit the situation. I think it took me longer than most people to start letting go of the diet habits. I thought that part would be easy but it was the hardest part! But it has been so worth it.