Divorce, dogs and weight gain.
not2late
Posts: 98 Member
Divorce, dogs and weight gain.
A guy’s viewpoint….
So, the piece of paper is finally through the door of your bachelor pad, you are divorced. Divorce can be a painful and highly emotionally charge event. There may be the loss of so many of the things that have made your life whole, and, if you are the one that has been divorced that loss may compounded by the sense of profound injustice and unfairness of the whole process and system.
Those of us who have children that they care for may be lucky enough to have them living with us for part, if not all of the time. That at least may be some small consolation.
There is of course one loss with a divorce that makes, if you are affected by it, all other losses pale into insignificance. Yes, she walked with all your money, your pension, your car, TV and sound system, computer, furniture. So what? These are material things.
The worse thing that a guy may be forced endure, worse than the bleeding broken heart crushed under the stiletto heel, is when she gets custody of the dog. A guy’s relationship with his dog is more than material. It is a deep spiritual bond that stretches back to the day that the bond was first created between primitive man and the wolf.
It’s only after coming to MFP that I have discovered what physical effect that is too.
She went abroad this week and I had the privilege of a week of dogmestic bliss as she didn’t put the dog in kennels. I had him. After the inevitable sniffing and licking, and that was just me, it was weekend dog walk time. I went on my old, usual weekend walk and duly entered the info in MFP. It was only last night that the penny dropped.
According to MFP my walk was 726 calories. I used to do that walk, without fail, twice a week at weekends. Over a year that would work out at 104 x 726 calories expended, that is 75504 calories! As it happens there are around 7500 calories in 1kg of body fat. You can see the math is pretty simple, over a year that would add up to 10kg, 22lb of fat.
My weight in May last year was too high at around 102kg. My weight when I started MFP 2 weeks ago (only started weighing this week) was 110kg. The amount I have put on is around the same that I would have expended in dog walking!
You can draw you own conclusions from this, but here are mine.
1) A change of lifestyle can cause a positive or negative impact on your energy expenditure.
2) It is possible not to notice that such a change has occurred.
3) When you have noticed you have a choice, act or do nothing.
4) Responsible dog owners make time to exercise their dogs 365 days a year.
5) Dog owners get 365 days of “free” exercise a year.
6) If dog owners can make the effort for their dogs, you can make the effort for yourself
7) You don’t need a dog to “dog walk”, cut out the “dog” and just get outside and WALK!!!!!
A guy’s viewpoint….
So, the piece of paper is finally through the door of your bachelor pad, you are divorced. Divorce can be a painful and highly emotionally charge event. There may be the loss of so many of the things that have made your life whole, and, if you are the one that has been divorced that loss may compounded by the sense of profound injustice and unfairness of the whole process and system.
Those of us who have children that they care for may be lucky enough to have them living with us for part, if not all of the time. That at least may be some small consolation.
There is of course one loss with a divorce that makes, if you are affected by it, all other losses pale into insignificance. Yes, she walked with all your money, your pension, your car, TV and sound system, computer, furniture. So what? These are material things.
The worse thing that a guy may be forced endure, worse than the bleeding broken heart crushed under the stiletto heel, is when she gets custody of the dog. A guy’s relationship with his dog is more than material. It is a deep spiritual bond that stretches back to the day that the bond was first created between primitive man and the wolf.
It’s only after coming to MFP that I have discovered what physical effect that is too.
She went abroad this week and I had the privilege of a week of dogmestic bliss as she didn’t put the dog in kennels. I had him. After the inevitable sniffing and licking, and that was just me, it was weekend dog walk time. I went on my old, usual weekend walk and duly entered the info in MFP. It was only last night that the penny dropped.
According to MFP my walk was 726 calories. I used to do that walk, without fail, twice a week at weekends. Over a year that would work out at 104 x 726 calories expended, that is 75504 calories! As it happens there are around 7500 calories in 1kg of body fat. You can see the math is pretty simple, over a year that would add up to 10kg, 22lb of fat.
My weight in May last year was too high at around 102kg. My weight when I started MFP 2 weeks ago (only started weighing this week) was 110kg. The amount I have put on is around the same that I would have expended in dog walking!
You can draw you own conclusions from this, but here are mine.
1) A change of lifestyle can cause a positive or negative impact on your energy expenditure.
2) It is possible not to notice that such a change has occurred.
3) When you have noticed you have a choice, act or do nothing.
4) Responsible dog owners make time to exercise their dogs 365 days a year.
5) Dog owners get 365 days of “free” exercise a year.
6) If dog owners can make the effort for their dogs, you can make the effort for yourself
7) You don’t need a dog to “dog walk”, cut out the “dog” and just get outside and WALK!!!!!
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Replies
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Your body probably produced a lot of excess Cortisol from the stress while you were going through and then recovering from your divorce. Cortisol causes you to gain weight. So your stress was what was causing you to gain.0
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Wow, that sounds rough! (No pun intended).
From a veterinarian - while no pet in our lives is ever replacable... but if you enjoy the companionship of having a dog so much, there are THOUSANDS waiting in shelters for the chance to have a home as wonderful as the one you could offer!
ADOPT A SHELTER PET TODAY!!!! (and have her/him spayed or neutered to prevent overpopulation)
Ok, I'll get off my soap box now...0 -
Your body probably produced a lot of excess Cortisol from the stress while you were going through and then recovering from your divorce. Cortisol causes you to gain weight. So your stress was what was causing you to gain.
I think that's a pretty broad statement. Not everyone reacts so negatively to stress. I know several people with weight problems that lost weight during stress. You can't attribute it to cortisol. Maybe he ate more because he was stressed? Maybe it was the lack of exercise without the dog. Regardless, you don't know what it is and can't make such a blunt, blanket statement and blame it on cortisol just because that's what the commercials say.0 -
Dogs are walking machines! Mine get me out the door for at least 70 minutes of serious walk time (and another 15 minutes of "sniff and mark" time for them) every morning. When I have time I'll walk after work too. The dogs are like having your own personal cheerleaders - if they even think you might be encouraged to take them out for a cruise, they will do a canine happy dance that's almost impossible to resist! And yes, all that walking makes a huge difference. Glad you got time with your dog pal.0
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Wow, that sounds rough! (No pun intended).
From a veterinarian - while no pet in our lives is ever replacable... but if you enjoy the companionship of having a dog so much, there are THOUSANDS waiting in shelters for the chance to have a home as wonderful as the one you could offer!
ADOPT A SHELTER PET TODAY!!!! (and have her/him spayed or neutered to prevent overpopulation)
Ok, I'll get off my soap box now...
Yay! I'm the proud owner of two of my own "pound puppies" and couldn't be happier with them
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Wow, that sounds rough! (No pun intended).
From a veterinarian - while no pet in our lives is ever replacable... but if you enjoy the companionship of having a dog so much, there are THOUSANDS waiting in shelters for the chance to have a home as wonderful as the one you could offer!
ADOPT A SHELTER PET TODAY!!!! (and have her/him spayed or neutered to prevent overpopulation)
Ok, I'll get off my soap box now...
Agreed!!! I rescued two "multi cultural" dogs from a shelter and they are the best dogs! From now on I will only get my dogs from shelters.
Having a dog as a companion can do wonders for your stress levels!0 -
Great post. Sorry to hear about your divorce but I hope that you both end up happier. Maybe you will find it in your heart to adopt another pup, amazing the love they bring into your life!
My two giant dogs are THRILLED that I started MFP. I would liesurly walk them daily, sometimes even a mile or two. Now that I am doing MFP, they actually get to go for long runs with me (I am doing the C25K). I think the only downfall them is that they no longer get my leftover bacon and eggs from breakfast on the weekends, since I only eat healthy stuff now!0 -
LOL..before i got on my workout/exercise kick recently, i had always said i wished i had a dog to force me to walk everyday.....but you are right LOL you dont need a dog to walk....JUST WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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I agree about shelter dogs. I got my "purebreed" Wheaten Terrier and my "designer dog" Goldendoodle from the shelter (on the same day, thought my husband was going to kill me-oops!)0
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Get yourself another dog. Yes I know it will not replace the one you lost but it will make a new place in your heart. And yes, adopt a pound dog. They need you just as much as you need them and more. Their lives depend on it. And that way when you do get your other dog for visitation, it will have a playmate too.0
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1- the stress may have produced cortisol...but it could have been from eating 'your feelings'.
I'm recently divorced and I lost weight because when I stress...I don't eat.
2- Yay for the pound puppies! I work in rescue and all of my pets have been rescue animals. I currently have three...a JRT, a dashshund, and a chi/jack mix.0 -
I feel your pain, dude. I stupidly got into a relationship once, breeded with him which produced a beautiful daughter and made us have to move into a larger apartment. The down side: the house didn't accept dogs. And of course, I had one..a beautiful black lab retriever properly named Ebony. Boy, was I sad. but I wouldn't give her up. I considered her my "first born". I was heartbroken. But what I did do was shared custody with my parents who happened to live up north with acres and acres of land for her to run freely where I had lived in the city limits. It was the best move I could have made at the time. My mom, who had never cared for dogs (a "cat person) fell in love with my lady Ebony. My mom said she "had manners". My mom treated her like the queen I always had..Eventually, Ebony developed cancer and did die a few years ago, and to this day, I can't bring myself to adopt another dog. I'm so afraid to have to go through that heartbreak again. So, yeah, I feel your pain. I will always cherish those memories of my first born. She was the best dog in the whole world...Ok, I'm tearing up.0
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P.S. I did get rid of the boyfriend. He was always such a ****er to my Ebony, and he had to go!! We weren't married, and the break up was excruciating since he cheated on me relentlessly, took all my money, and put me through hell with my daughter. But I've got a freakin' awesomer than awesome boyfriend now, nice house, great daughter, and actually have made peace with the dirtbag so we do get along, but even though the divorce has left you with some weight probably due to the stress, there are going to be some wonderful upturns too...but only if you choose to have it turn out in that favor. So stay positive and look for the rainbow.0
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P.S. I did get rid of the boyfriend. He was always such a ****er to my Ebony, and he had to go!! We weren't married, and the break up was excruciating since he cheated on me relentlessly, took all my money, and put me through hell with my daughter. But I've got a freakin' awesomer than awesome boyfriend now, nice house, great daughter, and actually have made peace with the dirtbag so we do get along, but even though the divorce has left you with some weight probably due to the stress, there are going to be some wonderful upturns too...but only if you choose to have it turn out in that favor. So stay positive and look for the rainbow.
Ha...your ex bf sounds like my ex husband. At least I got to keep my dogs...they are my fur babies.0 -
1- the stress may have produced cortisol...but it could have been from eating 'your feelings'.
I'm recently divorced and I lost weight because when I stress...I don't eat.
2- Yay for the pound puppies! I work in rescue and all of my pets have been rescue animals. I currently have three...a JRT, a dashshund, and a chi/jack mix.
Ahhh! JRT! I have a pitbull/JRT mix (weird, I know, but she totally is) and the JRT side of her made me want to kill her until she was about two! Imagine the crazy hyper activity (jumpin all around, never sitting still, constantly go go go) and amp it up to 50 pounds! I couldn't resist her though... she was hit by a car at 9 weeks (and left there to die, then someone FINALLY picked her up, put her in their backyard, and let her stayy there all winter) and she has this little crooked leg and walks with a limp... we almost named her Pogo lol
My other one's a purebred pitbull and he's a doll. 70 pounds of sit in your lap, lay by your side, lick you until you hurt from laughing... AMAZING dogs! Love my pitties 0 -
I feel your pain, dude. I stupidly got into a relationship once, breeded with him which produced a beautiful daughter and made us have to move into a larger apartment. The down side: the house didn't accept dogs. And of course, I had one..a beautiful black lab retriever properly named Ebony. Boy, was I sad. but I wouldn't give her up. I considered her my "first born". I was heartbroken. But what I did do was shared custody with my parents who happened to live up north with acres and acres of land for her to run freely where I had lived in the city limits. It was the best move I could have made at the time. My mom, who had never cared for dogs (a "cat person) fell in love with my lady Ebony. My mom said she "had manners". My mom treated her like the queen I always had..Eventually, Ebony developed cancer and did die a few years ago, and to this day, I can't bring myself to adopt another dog. I'm so afraid to have to go through that heartbreak again. So, yeah, I feel your pain. I will always cherish those memories of my first born. She was the best dog in the whole world...Ok, I'm tearing up.
I know how you feel. My parents had a chocolate Lab (well actually I think he was part chesapeake bay retrieve, part lab) but he was the best dog. He passed away last summer from a type of cancer that affects the lining of the heart. He was only 6 years old, it was a really sad time for our entire family, including their other dogs. Even though no other dog could replace Reeces Pieces, I'm sure my parents will in time will rescue another chocolate lab.0 -
I stupidly got into a relationship once, breeded with him which produced a beautiful daughter
You really are into dogs, aren't you? Ahah!
Glad you're doing well x
NOT2LATE:
You live in Brighton! If I lived in Brighton, I'd count all those lamp posts every morning, running along the sea *deep deeeeep sigh*
And yes, get a new dog. I've also been through loosing pets, all that, but... like to ladies, your heart is not closed forever. Give it a chance
You'll make it - keep strong 0 -
Thanks for thoughts, comments and suggestions. No more dogs for me but plenty more walking. It will hopefully start to offset calorie consumption and more importantly, prepare my body for more energetic exercise0
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