thinking about adoption...I need suggestions

PearlMarie_3gen_11484

Has any one on here adopted a child? My cousin adopted her daughter from over seas and the total of her travels, translator etc. was 70,000. I am looking for here in the us. I have heard foster adoption is the cheapest. Eric who is six would like a big brother. My Husband and I have found two boys that we are looking into. Isaiah is seven and likes to show off his clothes and looks. Isiah is ten and would like a family with a mom, dad, and a brother. I want both and I can't take them both home. *sigh* what to do what to do. I need help and suggestions

I was suppose to have surgery in December of this year to unclog my tubes. Well it would cost me 40,000 with out the cost of travel, and stay. The only hospital I have found that will do the surgery is twelve hours away.

*note* I am not the foster parent. I am wanting to adopt a child from foster care.

Triquetra

I applaud you for looking in a local adoption, we have plenty of children in our own countries to adopt before looking overseas (no matter where you're from). I don't know that anyone can help you choose a child as I imagine it is the most difficult choice there is....good luck and I'm sure whoever you choose will become a loving member of your new larger family.

charny164

I have no advice or suggestions on how to make such a life altering decision for your family and both of these boys. I do, however, commend you on wanting to adopt an older child.
I wish you all the best in your decision and my only thought is to follow your heart.

Charlene

wriglucy

You are such a sweet person! I know you will make the right decision.

Good luck!

superwmn

A good friend of mine has adopted three children out of foster care. I think that is the most amazing thing anyone can do. I don't believe there are any up front costs, but every state/county is different.

The children continue to receive support from the county which my friend is socking away for them. The children also receive tuition breaks if they attend county college.

There's a wealth of information out there on fostering and adopting foster kids. Definitely worth a look

Charmagne

PearlMarie_3gen_11484

Thank you every one. I feel that is more important to adopt a child than to put my life at risk to have this surgery. I am leaning towards the seven year old but I am still looking.

kbdelarosa

We adopted our amazing daughter from China 6 months ago. I think no matter where you adopt from it is a beautiful choice. There are children in need all over the world. No offense, Triquetra...but the US does not make it easy to adopt domestically and at least the children in the US have some sense of normalcy in foster care. In China and other countries, some children go from the orphanage to working in a factory and sadly that is the reality. We looked into the US first but came across too many roadblocks before heading down the China route. Unfortunately that road is now close to being closed too...with a current SIX year wait for a healthy child. So sad that there are so many beautiful kids that need homes in all countries, and only a few countries allow adoptions. It breaks my heart.

Older children are a blessing too. I love hearing about successful adoption stories, especially when they involve children old enough to know to understand that they are getting a forever family. We would go this route next time, if we feel led to adopt again. I would first try to get in touch with an adoption attorney, most will talk to you and give you advice for free before they take you on as a client.

jessimacar

are they siblings? i would consider how it might affect them to break them apart before deciding on either one if that's the case.. i think it is amazing that you're willing to adopt, especially older children who need it so much. if the children not being "yours" isn't an issue, then i would definitely suggest adoption. as you said, why undergo a risky surgery when there are children who need a family already? congratulations on either decision.

PearlMarie_3gen_11484

are they siblings? i would consider how it might affect them to break them apart before deciding on either one if that's the case.. i think it is amazing that you're willing to adopt, especially older children who need it so much. if the children not being "yours" isn't an issue, then i would definitely suggest adoption. as you said, why undergo a risky surgery when there are children who need a family already? congratulations on either decision.

thank you. No there are no siblings involved. I have decided not to go with the surgery, since I have two of my own already. I really want to help a child in need.