Need to vent.....again.

Carl01

First I want to say I am sorry your feeling this way - it sucks I know. As far as him not following your diet, men don't like change (in my experience) and losing weight to him could mean he may lose you because your looking even better than what you did before. Also, you shouldn't expect him to follow your dietary needs, he is human if he doesn't want to so be it - he shouldn't be expected to. I know its hard to power through it - maybe assign him a cabinet to keep his stuff in and don't even look in it. I don't think he is trying to ruin it for you, its just he normally eats this stuff and probably doesn't see what is wrong with it.

Accept his compliments - he is just complimenting you because it is what you want to here. He married you didn't he? He took his vows he loves you skinny or big your beautiful to him and he still wants you to know your beautiful - accept them, enjoy it many of us don't even get compliments so appreciate it!

To address your anger: Do you think its resentment because your working so hard on your body and he isn't? I found that I get a lot more agitated now with my husband and realized its because he isn't "fully supporting me by exercising and dieting" with me. Just a thought? Have you talked to him about pulling his weight around the house? Does he work, do you work? As far as you wanting him to leave have you tried couples counseling? I would hate to see a marriage split - its hard on everyone.

I understand the EXCESSIVE gaming, I have been in your shoes. Sometimes (again only in my experience I can't speak for everyone) the people that dive into the gaming world and don't leave any room for the real world are depressed, upset with their lives so they make a "new" life in fantasy. Maybe he is just upset as you but doesn't know how to voice it?

I am not taking sides, just trying to give you a new perspective

Your username is very well chosen.:drinker:

Zuznana

Personally I would just throw the cookies in the trash. Maybe he'll take notice then.

LOVE this idea...

or take a hammer to the xbox...either he'll take notice or he'll leave .. which either way it's something you want.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

That_Girl

I suggest talking to him.

I also suggest smashing that damned gaming machine.

I don't get this need breed of men who think it's ok to act like a teenager when they're married with children. But that's just my 2 cents. My husband has a PS3 and he plays on it but at appropriate times...after the household is taken care of.

Zuznana

I gave my boyfriend a list of things I wanted doing before I got back from work, not naggy things just like doing his own washing or washing up the plates etc from the meal the night before. I got back from work and none of these things were done, so the next day I took his xbox controller with me! I felt a little weird having it in my bag at the hairdressers but everything was done when I got back!!

That is brilliant idea.

First I want to say I am sorry your feeling this way - it sucks I know. As far as him not following your diet, men don't like change (in my experience) and losing weight to him could mean he may lose you because your looking even better than what you did before. Also, you shouldn't expect him to follow your dietary needs, he is human if he doesn't want to so be it - he shouldn't be expected to. I know its hard to power through it - maybe assign him a cabinet to keep his stuff in and don't even look in it. I don't think he is trying to ruin it for you, its just he normally eats this stuff and probably doesn't see what is wrong with it.

Accept his compliments - he is just complimenting you because it is what you want to here. He married you didn't he? He took his vows he loves you skinny or big your beautiful to him and he still wants you to know your beautiful - accept them, enjoy it many of us don't even get compliments so appreciate it!

To address your anger: Do you think its resentment because your working so hard on your body and he isn't? I found that I get a lot more agitated now with my husband and realized its because he isn't "fully supporting me by exercising and dieting" with me. Just a thought? Have you talked to him about pulling his weight around the house? Does he work, do you work? As far as you wanting him to leave have you tried couples counseling? I would hate to see a marriage split - its hard on everyone.

I understand the EXCESSIVE gaming, I have been in your shoes. Sometimes (again only in my experience I can't speak for everyone) the people that dive into the gaming world and don't leave any room for the real world are depressed, upset with their lives so they make a "new" life in fantasy. Maybe he is just upset as you but doesn't know how to voice it?

I am not taking sides, just trying to give you a new perspective

You have a good point with the resentment. But I don't think it's because the weight loss. I know it's about something, be it the wasted time he could have spent with the kids or the money he wasted or the way we live....I need to dig deep (there is another use for that term, lol) to find out.

But I can say, I really appreciate all your replies. I actually feel lighter now and all your responses gave me lot to think about and all in a good way.

Things here need to change, but for them to work, I really need to sort my mind out to really know what I want from me, him, us...the whole thing.

I know that I want to be more active and live a healthier and have been saying that I do not have friends that are into exercising, so I'm kind of on my own for now, but things are looking up as I do the trampolining and planning to join the running club here.

I also think that big part of the problem is that I have moved to England with him and my family only see our kids once a year. Just before we left, we said to my great-grandmother that it;s only for 6 months....few years passed and we still lived here and she only saw my daughter 3 times before she passed away.

Now my grandmother is really poorly and I'm not there to look after her. I'm here, stuck in this situation......And venting myself on here to you guys. Sorry, there seems to be so much on my mind......it came flooding back now, lol

Back to saying thank you for all your listening and advice. And sorry if I went off this somewhere, you all are very fast typers, but I'm not.

Zuznana

I suggest talking to him.

I also suggest smashing that damned gaming machine.

I don't get this need breed of men who think it's ok to act like a teenager when they're married with children. But that's just my 2 cents. My husband has a PS3 and he plays on it but at appropriate times...after the household is taken care of.

I did say I can't do that, I do play games myself...but like you say, after all household duties are done....well most of them, I'm not that keep on ironing. :laugh:

CalorieNinja

May I suggest that maybe your depressed so right now nothing he or your family does will make it right until you find your happiness. Maybe you should seek counseling just for yourself, I had to and it made a world of difference.

Zuznana

I could be, that would explain why I cry every time I hear a czech song or watch toy story 3....I know, the least like film to cry at. :sad: