bullied at the gym

gracemtn

This evening I was jogging when a couple came into the gym. The lady jumped on to the treadmill next to me (with 6 open to the left and 3 to the right) and was wearing a turtleneck and black jeans. She literally spent the whole time starring at me of course making me super self conscious. I was at my cool down when a friend who has been having a hard time (partly my fault) called. Instinctively answered only to have the guy of the couple come up to me and scold me for being on the phone. He was so harsh and made comments about my age. I do what I always do: froze and scampered away, calling my husband from the car. I know I look very young but really did he have to talk to me like that? And why does my "age" have anything to do with it?

My DH who has logged A LOT of gym hours informed me that this is common at all gyms and to not take it personally. Still I cam horrible at confrontation and am afraid this is going to effect my gym time negatively. Any words of wisdom?

SeaShell33

so rude! dumb a$$es :grumble:

gracemtn

Thank you. Wish I was such a sissy.

lilac01

I would have told the couple to **** OFF!

magpie8402

It sounds like they were just being rude and mean. Keep going and go with confidence, but do try to keep calls to a minimum

meggonkgonk

Personally? This crap is why I avoid the gym (although, for me it's because I am naturally confrontational and the gym just makes me cranky). But if you are going to keep going all you really can do is grow a thicker skin and tell the next one to go to the manager or an employee if he's got a problem.

Celo24

Anyone wearing a turtleneck and black jeans to work out is a joke anyway. Ignore them. You are there to better yourself and if you want to talk on the phone, talk on the phone. Just tell them to mind their own business next time. They aren't worth stressing out about.

liscar

or tell them to go to the manager if they have a problem.......I'm not confrontational either -- my problem is I get so shocked at rude people like that, that I can't immediately think of anything to quip back.

PLUS, WHO THE HELL RUNS ON A TREADMILL IN JEANS???????????? What a Loser!

ninyagwa

I know this would be hard, but if there ever is a next time....tell them that if they don't like working out next to others they should perhaps invest in a home gym, or not choose equipment next to the only other patron in the gym. Or ask him if his 'roid dose is making him all ragey....

This too shall pass...if it's really uncomfortable for you, try to make your gym time a different time of day for a while before you go back, and some gyms have a women's only section where you wouldn't have to run into someone's rude, arrogant, self-important husband in the gym.

Good luck! I'm sure you won't have to deal with that garbage again, but if you do, I would talk to personel from the gym, I don't think they'd like the idea of patrons bullying other patrons in their gyms, bad business.

mistyb47711

Ok. I go to the gym and no where does it say no cellphones in workout area. It says that on the bathroom door. Plus you pay to workout there and it is YOUR workout not theirs. Sounds to me that they need to mind their own business and if they dont want to listen to people talk on the phone then they should wear and ipod. Sorry but I think they where very rude. But stand up for yourself cause they will just keep doing it to you if you allow them to. And no your age doesnt have anything to do with anything. They just seem to me like they think they own the place..... RUDE!

MobiusMan

one word...TAZER.

Triguy83

I would have told the couple to **** OFF!

HERE HERE!

gracemtn

I have a million and half things I *should have said*

dconner13

If she was wearing jeans and a sweater then it sounds like they were trolling and single you out (after watching youu a bit) as the cell as a single. Go to the manager next time. I learned the hard way....you can't be shy when it comes to your rights!

mistyb47711

@MobiusMan........lol...Love it!

Ally_Clare

That's so rude of them to come up and do that. Even though i would like to think i would confront them i know i would do the same as what you did. What people think they can do that to someone else and not feel bad about it.

gracemtn

one word...TAZER.

YES!

skygoddess86

At my gym everyone is wearing earbuds for music so who would care if I'm on the phone? and sometimes I am. That sucks they totally sound like jerks.

CombatVet_Armywife

THIS just irritates me to NO end! Bullies, young or old, need to be put in their place...I would have LOVED to have done it FOR you!!

Understanding that you're a non-confrontational type of person, I would have told him, show me the sign and I will be happy to end my call. I have never been to a gym where it's said no cell phones or cell phone calls. Nor have I ever heard of anyone having an issue with people using a cell or making a call. Who cares!?!?! It sound to me this couple ARRIVED just LOOKING for trouble!

Hang in there girl...unless there's a sign saying no cell phones....they were in the wrong. Not you. I would avoid them if you see them again, but if there are ANY issues....take it to the manager. DEFINITELY do NOT let this deter you from going to the gym....do you....that'll be payback enough!

porcelain_doll

Should've told that woman her turtleneck was cutting off the blood flow to her brain.

downtome

I wouldn't let it get to you, for all he knew it could have been a true emergency with kids or something! I would have told him to mind his own business! There is ALWAYS going to be one a**hole in the bunch.. Just forget about it and don't worry about him, he was the jerk not you. Some people have such nerve and can be so rude! He must be unhappy with himself or his life?!

anubis609

There are always non-verbal ways to confront someone. If the lady in a turtleneck was making you feel self-conscious by staring at you, you could always stare at her [feel free to make a face] to make her feel self-conscious about herself.

The guy giving you lip about being on the phone, ignore him. Some people like to create tension by creating attention. Not giving it to them puts more insecurity into themselves and therefore they will act like children who throw tantrums like giant 2-year olds. He probably enjoyed the fact you scurried away.

I know it's already been done, but for future reference, there are times when you could match the confrontation with the same type of action; i.e. staring, countered by staring back, and there are times when you could equally match confrontation by doing the complete opposite; i.e. yelling, countered by silence.

I would have loved to be in your position. I welcome opportunities like that to arise. I practice it every time I'm at work with disgruntled clients.

strandedeyes

I would have stared down that woman for wearing a turtleneck and jeans to the gym....now thats just weird.

mgodby86

I'm sorry this happened to you - how rude!! Just use it as fuel for your next workout !

gracemtn

Just use it as fuel for your next workout !

good idea.

summerbert

Either tell them to shove it or ignore them. Just pretend like they aren't even there hovering your space

RussianLynx

one word...TAZER.

That literally just made me laugh out loud!

JeepBaja

I have a million and half things I *should have said*

See the movie "You Got Mail"? Remember it? Remember how Meg Ryan could never muster the strength to say what was on her mind when she was confronted with a rotten person? How she wanted to say how she felt but didn't want to be mean. Remember how she felt bad when she finally did say something mean?

You are better than these tools in the gym. I've seen it all... I used to confront tools like this in on fashion or another... I would use dry humor or sarcasm or just outright call them on their idiocy and I hate confrontations! They suck... Next time just ignore them, stare right past them as if they don't exist, that they are not worth your time because in the end, they are not worth your time. It's bad enough you are already in a gym, why take on more misery???

RussianLynx

That guy was a jerk and I'm sorry he made you feel that way.

I get irritated at the gym with people on their phones if they're sitting idly on a maching I want to use and just chatting/texting and basically being a jerk, but I would never think that gives me a right to verbally abuse someone! It's not anyone's business whether you use your phone. It's your phone and your gym time. She could have used any machine, but chose the one next to you.

He was a tool. Please don't let him ruin the gym for you. I agree with the earlier suggestion of maybe going to the gym at a different time of day (and hopefully avoiding them) until you get your confidence back.

Who cares what they think? Do you really value the opinion of someone who wears jeans and a turtleneck on a treadmill?

dr1981

If you aren't ready for a physical confrontation then I wouldn't say anything back. Just ignore it. If you have another encounter with him or her then bring it to the attention of management. Seriously. Fights get real nasty real quick. Also try to keep calls to a minimum while using the equipment.

and not to imply that you were being inconsiderate since you've already mentioned there were other machines available but now that we're on the subject.... personally it really puts me through the roof when someone is occupying the equipment that I want to use but that person is only half-assing or not doing anything at all because he or she is on the phone....... god just thinking about it makes my blood pressure go up. I've had to ask a guy who was just sitting on the bench press equipment talking on the phone for several minutes if he was done using it. That's RIDICULOUS!! I was so annoyed and really wanted to just yell at him to get the f-ck off the bench. Seriously, people and their f-cking phone habits!!

okay, end rant. lol

mistawalka

one word...TAZER.

A high fibre bean based diet and some lunges are almost as effective at clearing a 'personal' zone around your exercise area.