Motivating my mom and girlfriend

dunztar

Hello everyone. I have personally lost 14 pounds in about a month just working out hard and eating better... Now I want to help my mom and girlfriend... but here is the thing. They have many excuses and its getting a bit hard to get my mom to atleast walk. (she has seen me working out and things that I will be too intense for her...) I wont be intense. I just want to walk with her.

I finally got my girlfriend to start working out.... but the first day she was full of excuses because how tired she "felt." I guess thats conmmon when you go from doing nothing to jogging. My main concern is my mom however...

Is there some kind of program I can get for her? Right now her time is also pretty limited because she takes care of my nephew and niece... but she LOVES junk food. She loves cheetos and crappy food... She also loves juice and coke and all that garbage.

I used to also love eating junk food before I started and now I don't eat it because it makes me feel like crap specially when I work out... if I get them to work out will it help getting rid of their bad eating habits?

I don't want to be too strong to them... I want to help them out and usually I have a pretty strong attitude when it comes to goals. What is the best way to motivate them?

im2spooky4u

You might want to see if your mom would like to do Tai Chi. You can check out a DVD at the library and show her what it is, if she thinks she would like it you could find a class at a gym.

I would think once the exercising kicks in eating better will fall into place. You could try leaving her some healthy snacks to try like flavored rice cakes, baked chips instead of fried.

It would be great if they signed up on here, I know once I started logging stuff and realized just how many calories were in foods, it really opened my eyes.

MSDRIZZ

I hate to sound negative, but you can't. It has to be up to them to do it. Hopefully they will see you looking and feeling good and that will motivate them. Also jogging is not for everybody. I can do weights, yoga and stair stepping with the best of em, but if i try to jog I can't breathe correctly. I have tried to learn the correct breathing technique for running and it just is not happening. Bottom line is everybody needs to decide for themselves when and how to do this. The only thing you can do is keep being a good example to them.

ramseyrose

Does she like video games? If so and you can afford it, what about a Wii fit plus. they are great and enjoyable and can be done in the home. It would start her on the right track without feeling like a chore. You dont say how much she weighs though, and it does have a weight limit.

Good luck with it and keep us posted

BrentGetsFit

Good for you for wanting to help your mom and GF get in better shape! Unfortunately I think all you can do is just set the example and be ready whenever they are.

Tony Horton released a free downloadable workout called "Pay it Forward" that is geared towards folks that haven't worked out in a while. It features Tony and Brian (who is 400 lbs) going through a 25 minute or so routine of simple moves that can also be "stepped up" as the person gets more fit.

I'm sort of in the same boat with my mom, I just sent her a copy of the workout so we'll see how she does. Good luck

xarrium

I would say encouragement is key--when they spend time working out with you, make sure to point out the good stuff they're doing and only make corrections when they're doing something dangerous or just really bad. You don't need to be patronizing about it, don't constantly be saying "Awesome job! :happy: :happy: :happy:" but if your mom gets out for a walk and you climb a big hill together, say you're proud of her (I'm sure you would be), or let your girlfriend know that you love spending time with her working out.

Keep in mind though that motivation comes from them, and if they're not buying into the healthy living thing then you're not going to have the same commitment from them as you have from yourself.

Great job for you, though, keep up the great work!

ace175

Hey! Congrats on what you have done so far!!
For your mom and girlfriend, I would think about getting some fun work out dvd's, walmart has some pretty cheap ones...or if you guys have a wii there are some great wii fit games that are a lot of fun, and you burn calories! Since your mom loves junk food and sodas/juices (as did I), I would look into starting off with smaller portions of those, and maybe some light juices? There will be less calories, but she will still be able to enjoy the things she likes! I also felt the same as your girlfriend when I first started working out... I tried saying I was too tired or sore. Now I can't wait to be at the gym because after I feel so great! So if you can get her to do something, she'll realize its good!

Hope things work out!!

meggonkgonk

I think you may be trying to make them a little too much in your own image- working out regularly isn't for everyone and anyone who comes to it needs to do so in their own way.

Since diet is by far the great impact on weightloss, I would try to slowly work on encouraging them to pay more attention to what they are eating and how much of it they eat. I still eat all that junk, just not as often. My best friend, counting calories isnt for her, but instead of pushing her to join MFP I gave her my "food skeleton" which is just my basic list of "go-to" meals so that snacks and junk food are unique or treats and not an every meal consistency. And when she goes out to eat, she leaves a little of her portion on her plate. Idk how much weight shes lost- she's not really keeping close track, but she feels better and looks better.

Bottom line: You have to let them decide what's best for them and not push them toward something that will ultimately prove frustrating for them. Encourage the good things, lay off the bad. Go slow, and let them know you are there for them.

PS- losing 14 lbs in a month is awesome, but you are a guy, it is generally easier for you to lose. I suggest avoiding telling them how much you lost or talking about it over much- its just going to cause them frustration and anxiety.

KatFisk

Personally, I've never known or seen a long-lasting change in another person when their motivation has been pressure from a loved one (or anyone except themselves). Sure, everyone wants to look like that person on the cover of that magazine, but the motivations to make those huge changes are extremely personal. Plus, most people will resent and rebel against pressure from someone they love, no matter how well-intentioned they are. That said, I bet if you applied ZERO pressure and went out of your way to be loving, supportive and totally accepting of whatever their healthy and unhealthy decisions are, they'd be relaxed and receptive enough to be inspired by you and follow your example. That's the most influential change- set a silent and loving example, and soon you'll have a walking entourage.

Good luck!!

dunztar

Great advice guys Truly appreciated.

You guys got me thinking about the Wii. That's something my girlfriend would definatedly enjoy. She says she likes jogging... she is just starting though and when you start its a HUGE pain... I always loved running but when I started it was pretty hard.... now I love it and in fact today I am doing my 2 miles again + a lot of basketball.

I don't want my girlfriend and mom to be like me... well I wish my girlfriend kind of was so we can go on very long runs together but if not it is ok .... My girlfriend is already getting a bit motivated even mentioning marathons and runs for charity so I guess thats good. She is signed up to myfitnesspal but I do not think she knows about the forum and the ability to find friends here. But she is counting her food and likes the app. My other question is now...

How can I have her open up to me, and trust me with telling me her weight and stats so I can make suggestions?

rodegghero

Dunztar...my partner and I made an excel spreadsheet to track our weights. That way we didn't have to say it out loud but we could look at one anothers. If your gf agrees then that would be a way to see it. I would also mke sure she wants the tips First!

dunztar

Dunztar...my partner and I made an excel spreadsheet to track our weights. That way we didn't have to say it out loud but we could look at one anothers. If your gf agrees then that would be a way to see it. I would also mke sure she wants the tips First!

I purchased a schale that logs weight as a person weighs themselves, also BMI, Bone, hydration, etc... It handles 4 people and sadly out of 3 people in my house + my GF I am the only one who logs my weight

britt_fit

One thing that's hard to realize is that you can't change people. They change when they're ready and they may not be ready quite yet. However, you can try encouraging in a subtle way by offering to make dinner for you mom sometimes and choosing healthy recipes that taste really good. Part of what's hard about change is getting out of your comfort zone, so if she realizes she can make small changes it might make it less intimidating As far as exercise, does your mom have any friends who also enjoy walking? Maybe they could do that to socialize?

downtome

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink!"

They have to be willing to want to do this, I'm sorry to say that just because you are all gun Ho on eating right and exercising, doesn't mean they will be. It took me many years up until 3 months ago to figure out that I was finally ready! It's great that you want to help them both but they have to want to do this for themselves and no matter how much you tell them how great and wonderful you are doing or feeling, it won't matter unless they are ready.

Inspire them by letting them see how you great your feeling and maybe it will be enough to get them going on the right track. Being demanding or forceful won't work! As for exercise, if they are ready, they should start out slow, too much too soon can be hard physically and will make them want to give up. Be supportive but let them go at their own pace. Great job so far for you and good luck on your quest for a healthier life!