Depression Kicking My Butt!

kylielouttit

I came to the realization today that I need help with my depression. I don't think it's severe, I'm not suicidal, but I am constantly tired, unmotivated and self-sabatoging. I eat my feelings and I any time I make any sort of headway, I knock myself back down. Why? Why can't I stop?

I hate myself, I feel so low. I had a goal for myself to complete a round on INSANITY, and then start training for a May 29th Half-Marathon in the beginning of March. Because of my eating problems, I re-started Insanity this past Thursday so now I wont be ready for the Half...maybe 10k? How do I stop sabatoging myself with food? I can put away calories like nobody's business, it's a wonder I don't weigh 300lbs. I try planning ahead but something always happens and I EAT MORE.

Anyway, tomorrow I am going to go to the doctor. I feel so embarassed when people tell me that I inspire them to workout, if they only knew the truth.

Heather75

You are doing the right thing. Your doctor will be able to help. In the meantime, keep trying to get those lovely exercise endorphins. They help. It takes about 6 weeks of regular exercise for them to work.

Good luck!

Happy_JoJo

no need to feel embarrassed... none at all. I have suffered with depression for the last 15 years, and only sought help six years ago. That decision was one of the best I have ever made!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I'd be in therapy or seeing a "shrink" but you know what?? its just another tool for me to get my body/mind into the shape it deserves. The journey to beat the monster we call depression is not easy but you can do it! I'll help you in any way that I can. hugs.... this too shall soon pass.

kirstengirl

I also suffer depression. It sucks. I am on anti-depressants now, and no, they don't make life a bed of roses, but they make me feel better enough to get out of bed, better enough to get through the day, and better enough to exercise. The combination of running and my meds really help keep my depression at bay. I also have people tell me that I inspire them, and agree...if only they knew.

It is very helpful to have someone who will talk with you and listen. You may friend me if you would like.

Get some help!
Kirsten

ct1986

I hit bottom hard a while back because of the same thing. I just didn't have the motivation or energy to move. Then people would make comments about how much thinner I looked, etc. and it almost made it worse in some ways. The good news is though that after meeting with my doc and trying some meds I'm doing better. I had an appointment today and we bumped up the dosage.

All of that was to say hang in there and just work to get back on track. You can do this.

LorinaLynn

Asking for help is a strong, strong thing to do!

I was the same way before I started my anti-depressant. No motivation. Tired. Achy. Moody. My meds aren't "happy pills." They don't make all the problems go away. They just make the problems something I can conquer.

I think of it like near-sightedness. Without my glasses or contacts, I have trouble seeing. Everything is blurry. Without my anti-depressant, my brain has trouble seeing things clearly. Everything seems harder. Insurmountable. Not worth trying. With it, things are in focus again. I'm me again. I still have ups and downs. I still get sad, get bad moods, get in ruts. But I don't stay in the ruts.

And it might not even be depression. There's many medical issues that have the same symptoms. But good for you for going to the doctor. You should be proud of yourself!

loveshannonmarie

You just have to push yourself no matter how hard it is whatever you do i don't recommend going on anti-depressants that'll just make it worse in the long run because of the weight gain they cause. Trust me I gained 60 pounds in 1 1/2 years on lexapro now I am fighting to get them off and it's hard and I stopped taking them and was feeling the same way you do but I just force myself to eat right and workout I just think about how amazing summer is going to be when i tough it out I know the results will be so worth it

tschram12

Its kinda Ironic you posting this, This is the 3rd time I have started to lose weight, my first goal always is to get under 200lbs. Well everytime I get close I sabatoge myself. So this time I got to 204 and this weekend I splurged, it was awful I felt so bad about myself. But I have decided to not let this get me down. I started back today and Im bound and determinded not to let this get me down. The thing with me is baby steps dont look at the whole picture, take it one day at a time. If you do baby steps, it will build your confindence each day until your ready for that half marathon. Take it 1 mile at a time, 1 day at a time. As far as the depression goes the first step is knowing you are having problems, going to the doctor to get some help is a good thing. It wont make everything peachy but it will help with how you handle things. I wish you well on your journey, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!

ct1986

You just have to push yourself no matter how hard it is whatever you do i don't recommend going on anti-depressants that'll just make it worse in the long run because of the weight gain they cause. Trust me I gained 60 pounds in 1 1/2 years on lexapro now I am fighting to get them off and it's hard and I stopped taking them and was feeling the same way you do but I just force myself to eat right and workout I just think about how amazing summer is going to be when i tough it out I know the results will be so worth it

Everyone is unique and there are many anti-depressants for me personally just pushing through it was not an option when it had been going on literally for YEARS prior. That being said not all of them have weight gain as a side effect and some actually have a side effect of weight loss.

Rocking_Robin

Sorry to hear you are so low, I know all too well that depression is really a hard thing to overcome. I have to make a real effort every day to not focus on the hard things in my life. I think you are doing a great thing by signing up for a half marathon, I kind of did the same thing to help myself, I did the 60 mile 3 day walk in 2009, people thought I was crazy but it forced me to put my needs a little higher than I was doing, I had to get out and walk to work up my stamina. So, I say get working on your plan of your adventure whether it be the 10K or the half marathon. I am a person who was always so busy taking care of everyone else I forgot to do something for me...so I am working on that each and every day now......what do you do for yourself each day??
Then, the next is a little personal, but I take an anti-depressant called Lexapro it helps me alot but I have a disabled husband I do not know anything about your depression but it took me forever to admit I had a problem and I was willing to try the Lexapro and when it began to help me I wished I had tried it sooner.
Good Luck with everything, friend me if you would like, we can support each other..

cassidystreasures

it happens and nothing to be ashamed of. Im sure there is a ton more than me on anti depressants. Sometimes we all need that little get up and go. I call them my happy pills.

Alyshe

You may be suprised but what you eat really really matters. Watch food maters and food inc. You are what you eat. Eat spinach, some almond, fish (2 time a week only), oatmeal, and whole grains while you cut out high suger and caffine also make sure you workout. Then after trying that go to a doctor. You should feel alot better. Just try it. DO some reserch on food your self also. Food has such an impact on our lives. You also need to have the right attitude. Remember that life is only what you your self make it remember also that life will always nock you down if you let it and some time it will but you have the power to stand up.

MissTomGettingThin

You just have to push yourself no matter how hard it is whatever you do i don't recommend going on anti-depressants that'll just make it worse in the long run because of the weight gain they cause. Trust me I gained 60 pounds in 1 1/2 years on lexapro now I am fighting to get them off and it's hard and I stopped taking them and was feeling the same way you do but I just force myself to eat right and workout I just think about how amazing summer is going to be when i tough it out I know the results will be so worth it

I'm sorry. I do not mean to cause offence here but you can't 'just push yourself' if you are clinically depressed.
I am on Anti-Depressants and have been for over 15 years on and off and I'm losing.
It's all about the mind, attitude and right medication.
No point being skinny and suicidal!

LorinaLynn

My weight didn't change on Lexapro. I had so much more ambition and energy that my weight dropped initially. Everyone reacts differently, though.

My weight crept up when my depression was unchecked and I needed my dosage adjusted. There's a certain amount of "push harder" that's necessary in overcoming depression, but there's no shame in getting help if you need it.

Amarylis13

I can understand how you feel. I have lived with depression since childhood (51 now). It's good that you're going to see a doctor now. I waited until I was suicidal, but thankfully my love of my daughter kept me from that and instead I went to therapy. I have been put on various medications over the years for this, but none of them worked for me. But psychotherapy did. I needed to find out WHY I felt the way I did to start feeling, and acting, better. That is not to say that medication may not work for you. As others stated, everyone is different. The important thing is that you're doing something about it. Friend me if you want. We can support each other.
Cheryl