I'm completely off my rocker!

eyescatchfire

Look, I'll be honest: My head knows I am doing great. So why am I not happy?

I am now wearing a size 10 and I'm 31 pounds lighter than 5 months ago. So why am I not happy?

I've got increased energy and stamina, and I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. SO WHY AM I NOT HAPPY!!!!

GRRRRRRRRR :explode: :explode: :explode:

I think I am missing a cog in my brain. Why can't I just be proud of all I've accomplished so far?
Does anyone else feel like this?

eyescatchfire

Look, I'll be honest: My head knows I am doing great. So why am I not happy?

I am now wearing a size 10 and I'm 31 pounds lighter than 5 months ago. So why am I not happy?

I've got increased energy and stamina, and I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. SO WHY AM I NOT HAPPY!!!!

GRRRRRRRRR :explode: :explode: :explode:

I think I am missing a cog in my brain. Why can't I just be proud of all I've accomplished so far?
Does anyone else feel like this?

Phoenix_Rising

Maybe it was never the weight that was making you unhappy. Maybe it was something else?

But please don't think I'm taking away from your huge accomplishment of 31lbs in 5 months!! GO YOU! :bigsmile:

plantlady99

Maybe reading what you just wrote will start to make you happy


You have accomplished a HUGE goal.


:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

shorerider

I went through this yesterday and today--I just wanted all my weight gone now!

We all go through blue times--hang in there! Rant here all you want; we all understand!

Trust me, it helps to get it out sometimes. People here are great listeners!

jenbar

Yeah, I do! I'm still fat! But I know, after it's all gone, I'll feel better. Not there yet, but getting there! That feeling will pass! (hopefully!)

gabi_ele

Even so I'm still over 100 pounds away from my goal I am happy. I might not look "HOT' but I feel so much better, I'm eating well and have energie to boot. I have family and friends that love me no matter what I look like, they cheer me on when I need it (especially my MPF family) they listen to me when I need to vent and give me advise and hints when I need them. I feel blessed that I have a roof over my head (even so it is a green steal one:grumble: ) healthy food to eat, don't have to freeze and don't think I will melt( don't have airconitioning installed) .Even so I miss my daughter ( she is stationed in Iraq) I get to chat with her on the web and know that so far she is safe.
I see my new Lifestyle as a learning experience and the longer it takes me the better I will be at keeping it up. There are so manny things that are great in my life and the ones that bug me are just temporary. I don't get down on myself when I mess up, I figure the next time I will be better prepared and will master that situation, or I'll tell myself I'm just doing it to confuse my body:laugh:
Sometimes we get so critical and are mean to ourselves and what does it bring us? We get depressed, are upset and cranky, and eat because we don't feel worthy....
I'm speaking from experience and hope this helps a little, if not just get the bottle out and have one for me too:drinker:

fitladyfawkes

Wow, yes i know JUST how you feel! I have come a long way, but in my mind I am like, well you still dont look good in a swimming suit or you still dont want any guy to do lifts with you when you go dancing for fear that they would break their back trying to lift me. Lol. But seriously that is really how I feel. I know that the bad attitude doesnt help at all, it just gets me down and then I dont want to do anything, I just want to sit on my couch and be the anti-social "fat girl". But there HAS to be a way out of this funk. I think a WHOLE LOT of it is mental. I mean our thoughts make us who we are. And like my mom just said a few minutes ago to me on the phone "Happiness is a state of mind, its a journey, not a goal. You need to realize that if you dont love yourself at this point, it is going to be dang hard to love yourself when you are skinny, because when you are skinny, you are still going to have your "fat" days."
Mother knows best. So I have started thinking more positive things about myself. Like when looking in the mirror, if i feel like i look fat, i will tell myself, dang girl your fine. haha or something to that effect. Its all in our minds, and WE'VE GOT THE POWER!!!! (I really hope anyone who read this thought of the same song that I did, I GOT THE POWER) hahaha

eyescatchfire

Everyone, thank you so much for your posts! I've always had trouble with my self-esteem, but I always attributed it to being heavy. I guess I wasn't entirely correct about that one. Gotta add one more self-improvement project to the mix--so, here's to self-love!

lotusfromthemud

sometimes I wish we could log "beating ourselves up" as cardio. . .

ColeenSanLeon

sometimes I wish we could log "beating ourselves up" as cardio. . .

:laugh: hahaha!! That's the funniest thing I have ever heard!! Thanks for the laugh!!

Hey, we all get into the funk, but please pull out some old pictures, pull out the biggest pair of pants you ever wore, put them on and CELEBRATE how far you have come!! Do not let the temporary funk get you down, this too shall pass. Every day is a new day

lotusfromthemud

I also wish we could log laughing as cardio.

Seriously, though. . .I think that the smaller I get the more of these "bad days" I have. I judge the small flaws much harsher than I used to judge the big and fabulousness.

I do think there are a few things at play here:

I used food as a drug to numb the negative self feelings. Big time. Now, without that tool, I have to actually FEEL the negative self feelings, and deal with them (convince myself they're not the truth, etc.)

Also, when something is closer to an ideal (whether real or imagined) those little things get magnified.

And, losing weight does not solve the self-esteem issues. I think that overweight is a symptom of low self-esteem, not the cause.

Flowers for all!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: