Jealous of others trying to lose weight!

shaunarlr83

Do you ever feel that sudden burst of envy, when you hear from someone you know that they are getting in shape? I do NOT mean any of my fellow MFP followers (I love you all and I am cheering each of you on and am so motivated by everyone who has made it). I am talking about people you know from real life. On Facebook lately I have seen about 10 people talking about getting into shape, it has nothing to do with their currents sizes, because they are very different people from all walks of life, but every time I read a post I....1st want to introduce them to MFP, (but a millisecond later) I.... 2nd-ly pause and think, NO, let them struggle and fail!!!! Lol Why am I like this????? I have offered this link to a few people who are no more than just mere aquaintances, and also to my 2 closest friends. When it comes to my friends I feel the same way as I do with everyone else here, hopeful, happy, supportive, but with those other people, most have right away given me an excuse as to why they won't even look at this site. So now when I see someone else say they are "dieting", exercising, doing weight watchers, or whatever, I don't want them to know my secret, it becomes a contest, I want to beat them to a healthy life style, and I am internally grateful when they trip and fall and never get back up. I am NOT a vindictive person, I really have a very big, caring heart (you can't tell by this post) I just can't seem to control this evil green monster! It isn't so much that I envy what they have or what they are doing, I just want to do it before they do! I think everyone should work hard to live a healthy lifestyle so that everyones kids will know how to make healthy choices, I always feel sorry for overweight kids, my little brother is pretty heavy and I was very worried he was being made fun of at school, I went to watch him playing at recess last year and honestly could not find him right away because there were so many overweight boys about his age. But we all know that there will always be people out there who see things in a different light, I was one of them, they think I can eat whatever I want, I am not "that" big, they will never make a lifestyle change until they really want it for themselves, so while there are a few who are starting on the right track, I hope they find their way from another source. lol I do not want to share my MFP friends, support, and secret to success (one day that is). Yes this is awful, but your mind can't tell your heart how to feel and have it ALWAYS listen.

get_it_gone2012

older sibling syndrome (yes, i did make that up haha). it's like if you're really good at, say, tiddlywinks. then your younger sibling says, i'm going to take up tiddlywinks. you do everything you can to sabatoge their tiddlywinks career, because your afraid they will be better than you. but you still love your sibling, and probably support them, but on a subconscious level, as a human being, you still want to be better so you can be recognized for it.
in the end, it's all a game of recognition and not wanting to just merge into a crowd of others doing the same thing, because then you think you won't be noticed.
completely normal.


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thektturner

I understand. I have turned a few people onto MFP (including my husband). While I do want them to be healthy, a couple have more than me to lose and I know I'm gonna be super pissed when they pass me in the "pounds lost". Even though, it may be the same or smaller percentage of their total weight that they are losing. I want to beat them to the finish line.

dericcarson

I posted this a few hours ago......talk about jealous!!

Hi my HCG friends.....hope everyone is doing well! I just need to vent for a few minutes about using HCG in the workplace.

So....we have the "Biggest Loser" Contest going on at work right now. First place is $1,500. We started 2 weeks ago today. I decided and bought my HCG prior to even knowing about the contest. So I put my money in and joined. I told a couple people about my diet plan and of course I hear nothing but negative comments, thats not enough calories, your going to get sick, your going to gain it all back....blah, blah.......bad idea, so I keep to myself. Mind you, we all work together as Attorneys so you would think the "Highschool" gossip wouldn't exist.....wrong! So first weigh in was today (it started 2 weeks ago with the initial weigh in).....and I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks! Great right?? Yeah, so I get an e-mail about 10 minutes later from the "office gossip" stating that her and 2 other co-workers are not comfortable with me in the contest because I am using "supplemental diet drops" (lol) to make me lose weight and that I am only eating 500 calories a day (which she said I was starving myself) and that it is not fair to anyone else. Really? Jealous much? Because I lost 10 lbs and I am winning on week 2.........not week 12......week 2!
So, I take a few minutes to decide what my response is and I e-mail her back. I simply told her how I choose to diet and how I choose to lose my weight is none of her business and this is a contest where we are all suppose to be supportive, not negative. I told her if she wanted to lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks like I did that I would show her the website....:) And I said that I will not quit the biggest loser....because I will be the biggest loser.....but I guess today was "pick on the biggest loser"

Thank you for listening......I needed to vent!

Sirenism

The only jealous/anger I ever feel is when the other person is like "OMG LOOK AT HOW MUCH WEIGHT I'M LOSING AND SO QUICKLY! I WORKED SO HARD" when they are actually not doing anything except getting surgery, taking diet pills, or messing with their hormones via internet drops. Their eating habits haven't changed. They don't exercise. Therefor I'm not happy for them and a bit pissed off when I hear about how they stall in weight or them proclaim how hard they've worked.

Belle_Fille

i only know 2 people trying to lose weight. 1) a girl i went to school with. but shes doing it all wrong, the unhealthy way. so i dont care. not jealous at all that she has lost 20+ pounds in 3 weeks, when i have only lost 11 in 4.
then my sister- im happy for her, but deep down i know she wont succeed in getting it to her goal weight. she uses too many excuses all the time. but if she does succeed, i will be very happy for her

wait i know a 3rd person. but she cheated and used surgery. and now, in my honest opinion she looks funny. very mis proportioned. and shes still eating crappy, and drinking/partying all the time. i just feel bad that she wasted all that money on surgery for nothing

ThePartyGoblin

I'm totally with you, Sirenism. I don't take drops/pills/crazy herbs and I work my *kitten* off, and my friend takes everything under the sun, doesn't watch her calories, doesn't work out, and complains to ME about how hard it is.
Sister, I work my *kitten* off. Don't tell me taking a magic pill 3x a day is "rough"!!

kerryannk

i decided back in November to get back in touch with my health concious side, and a few of my co-workers said the same thing, that they were going on spring break or whatnot and they wanted to get back in shape as well. I stumbled upon MFP in January after I had gone 2 months with zero results. I immediately shared MFP with all and any of my friends who I had conversations with about getting back in shape and getting healthy. Only one of my friends created an account, even she didn't stick with it. My mom asked why I sounded like an infomercial. I was a little offended. Then as i started sharing the tools I was learning with friends at work, I began to see that other co-workers almost looked down upon me for starting this new path. (I'm now "one of those yoga girls" to my manager.) Another coworker who back in November was talking about getting back on the healthy horse is still struggling and made mention that she can no longer fit into her pants. I've showed her the app on my phone and thought it was cool, but I just realized that she doesn't want my help, and that's fine.

So I guess the whole point of what I'm trying to say is that I no longer share our little MFP secret because I don't feel like others are as dedicated as we are. They're not ready to hold themselves accountable for what they put in to their bodies and what they're willing to put out as well. Just because we use MFP doesn't mean we need to shout it from the rooftops; some people just don't care. But try not to go out of your way to wish failure upon others. If your competitive side is getting the best of you, use it as fuel for a hard core workout session.

Do you normally work out with a partner or take group classes? Sometimes it's easier to dish out some positive reinforcement when you're getting it as well.

CalorieNinja

I can't say I necessarily envy people that are trying to lose weight in my real life BUT I always question giving out the link to others. I don't even see it as a contest. For me it is safe here, I vent about the people in my real life if they had access to it I wouldn't be able to express myself the way I normally would - call me selfish I like my support group.

dericcarson

And for the peeps that think that people who take supplements to help lose weight dont exercise....you are wrong....its a combo of healthy eating and exercise.

indigochilds

WOOOAH!!!! That OP Post was deep.


That is really brave of you to pour your heart out. To answer your question. No never been jealous. I founded it to be more motivating in a competitive sense. And its always good to see a person talking good care of themselves. Cause obesity is something that shouldn't be taken lightly...

The real question is "why do you want to see them fail?". You do realize the thoughts your making are coming from a place insecurity and a dark place. But after reading other posts. Where it comes from varies. Its all how you channel it. Cause envy is a dangerous feeling to carry. Gives you unnecessary stress you don't need

Do you think their weight loss is going to overshadow your success. Or if they're going to look better than you?

I think the envy will go away when you look at the journey in a different perspective. Loosing weight should never be a competition against each other but a competition within yourself.

AsaThorsWoman

I posted this a few hours ago......talk about jealous!!

Hi my HCG friends.....hope everyone is doing well! I just need to vent for a few minutes about using HCG in the workplace.

So....we have the "Biggest Loser" Contest going on at work right now. First place is $1,500. We started 2 weeks ago today. I decided and bought my HCG prior to even knowing about the contest. So I put my money in and joined. I told a couple people about my diet plan and of course I hear nothing but negative comments, thats not enough calories, your going to get sick, your going to gain it all back....blah, blah.......bad idea, so I keep to myself. Mind you, we all work together as Attorneys so you would think the "Highschool" gossip wouldn't exist.....wrong! So first weigh in was today (it started 2 weeks ago with the initial weigh in).....and I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks! Great right?? Yeah, so I get an e-mail about 10 minutes later from the "office gossip" stating that her and 2 other co-workers are not comfortable with me in the contest because I am using "supplemental diet drops" (lol) to make me lose weight and that I am only eating 500 calories a day (which she said I was starving myself) and that it is not fair to anyone else. Really? Jealous much? Because I lost 10 lbs and I am winning on week 2.........not week 12......week 2!
So, I take a few minutes to decide what my response is and I e-mail her back. I simply told her how I choose to diet and how I choose to lose my weight is none of her business and this is a contest where we are all suppose to be supportive, not negative. I told her if she wanted to lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks like I did that I would show her the website....:) And I said that I will not quit the biggest loser....because I will be the biggest loser.....but I guess today was "pick on the biggest loser"

Thank you for listening......I needed to vent!

Oh the audacity!

Sirenism

A bit off topic, but I've shared the MFP link with co-workers who "wanted to lose weight" a while back as they asked me how I've lost so much weight. Truth is, until you are ready to choose what you want the most over what you want that moment you'll never succeed. That was one of my biggest issues as I tried for years. I made so many excuses for why I couldn't lose weight when the only thing holding me back was myself.

For the co-workers... they are totally not ready for that. Otherwise they would stop eating 10 doughnut holes and other various snacks during our 4 hour work period together. I'm not exaggerating. I wrote down what they ate one day...lots of eye opening for me.

AsaThorsWoman

i decided back in November to get back in touch with my health concious side, and a few of my co-workers said the same thing, that they were going on spring break or whatnot and they wanted to get back in shape as well. I stumbled upon MFP in January after I had gone 2 months with zero results. I immediately shared MFP with all and any of my friends who I had conversations with about getting back in shape and getting healthy. Only one of my friends created an account, even she didn't stick with it. My mom asked why I sounded like an infomercial. I was a little offended. Then as i started sharing the tools I was learning with friends at work, I began to see that other co-workers almost looked down upon me for starting this new path. (I'm now "one of those yoga girls" to my manager.) Another coworker who back in November was talking about getting back on the healthy horse is still struggling and made mention that she can no longer fit into her pants. I've showed her the app on my phone and thought it was cool, but I just realized that she doesn't want my help, and that's fine.

So I guess the whole point of what I'm trying to say is that I no longer share our little MFP secret because I don't feel like others are as dedicated as we are. They're not ready to hold themselves accountable for what they put in to their bodies and what they're willing to put out as well. Just because we use MFP doesn't mean we need to shout it from the rooftops; some people just don't care. But try not to go out of your way to wish failure upon others. If your competitive side is getting the best of you, use it as fuel for a hard core workout session.

Do you normally work out with a partner or take group classes? Sometimes it's easier to dish out some positive reinforcement when you're getting it as well.

Right on... I'm kind of embarassed about how hard of an effort it takes. When I'm in large groups I have a tendancy to eat just like they do because the fact that I need to lose weight so badly is embarassing, I don't want to make it worse on myself by staring at their hamburger while picking at my grilled chicken!

Sirenism

And for the peeps that think that people who take supplements to help lose weight dont exercise....you are wrong....its a combo of healthy eating and exercise.

No. I'm not wrong. It's very judgmental of you to say something like that. My friend DOES NOT exercise. She's "lazy". She even says so herself. She openly admits that she'd rather take the easy way out and just take some pills to move the weight along so she doesn't have to do anything.

That_Girl

I tell no one about MFP! HA! I don't want them to see what I'm doing and I am not here to help people. That's what got me at the weight I am--- worrying about other people first.

So. Whatever to that.


And for the record, I don't "exercise". I am active but you won't find me doing any videos or classes at the moment.

shaunarlr83

i decided back in November to get back in touch with my health concious side, and a few of my co-workers said the same thing, that they were going on spring break or whatnot and they wanted to get back in shape as well. I stumbled upon MFP in January after I had gone 2 months with zero results. I immediately shared MFP with all and any of my friends who I had conversations with about getting back in shape and getting healthy. Only one of my friends created an account, even she didn't stick with it. My mom asked why I sounded like an infomercial. I was a little offended. Then as i started sharing the tools I was learning with friends at work, I began to see that other co-workers almost looked down upon me for starting this new path. (I'm now "one of those yoga girls" to my manager.) Another coworker who back in November was talking about getting back on the healthy horse is still struggling and made mention that she can no longer fit into her pants. I've showed her the app on my phone and thought it was cool, but I just realized that she doesn't want my help, and that's fine.

So I guess the whole point of what I'm trying to say is that I no longer share our little MFP secret because I don't feel like others are as dedicated as we are. They're not ready to hold themselves accountable for what they put in to their bodies and what they're willing to put out as well. Just because we use MFP doesn't mean we need to shout it from the rooftops; some people just don't care. But try not to go out of your way to wish failure upon others. If your competitive side is getting the best of you, use it as fuel for a hard core workout session.

Do you normally work out with a partner or take group classes? Sometimes it's easier to dish out some positive reinforcement when you're getting it as well.

Thank you all. This is GREAT that is exactly what I mean, it's like finding a $100 bill, you wish everyone you knew and loved could have an extra $100 bucks too, but this is mine, go get your own! lol I usually workout alone at home, somedays my husband joins, he used to be my "trainer" trying to push me to burn more, now he can't even hang half as long as I do.:bigsmile:

UcallMeJay

I see lots of people post about how they are starting whatever exercise program like p90x or Zumba or what have you. And then after a few days they are posting about how hard it is and how it sucks and they give up. I don't feel bad for them. Losing weight sucks, and working out is painful.
I keep MFP to myself when it comes to Facebook. I started using this tool because one of my employees showed it to me. And a few others have picked it up to, and at work we are kind of our own little support group. I know lots of people on the facebook that want to lose weight but I won't tell them about MFP.
Let them find it on their own I say.
And I have been there, when it comes to starting a diet or exercise program and then falling off the wagon. But MFP has been the biggest help of all the other things I have tried.

i think next time someone ask me about or comments on my weight loss, I will simply say, "there is an app for that"
and let them figure it out.

kerryannk

Thank you all. This is GREAT that is exactly what I mean, it's like finding a $100 bill, you wish everyone you knew and loved could have an extra $100 bucks too, but this is mine, go get your own! lol I usually workout alone at home, somedays my husband joins, he used to be my "trainer" trying to push me to burn more, now he can't even hang half as long as I do.:bigsmile:

keep up the good work girl. youre safe here with us

kerryannk

i think next time someone ask me about or comments on my weight loss, I will simply say, "there is an app for that"
and let them figure it out.

lmao! love it!

dericcarson

And for the peeps that think that people who take supplements to help lose weight dont exercise....you are wrong....its a combo of healthy eating and exercise.

No. I'm not wrong. It's very judgmental of you to say something like that. My friend DOES NOT exercise. She's "lazy". She even says so herself. She openly admits that she'd rather take the easy way out and just take some pills to move the weight along so she doesn't have to do anything.

I said a combo of exercise and supplements.....I never judged anyone!! I exercise everyday......I am not talking about your "friend"....and I am nothing but lazy.......dont compare her to me. And I never said you were wrong.....

cindy4mica

I posted this a few hours ago......talk about jealous!!

Hi my HCG friends.....hope everyone is doing well! I just need to vent for a few minutes about using HCG in the workplace.

So....we have the "Biggest Loser" Contest going on at work right now. First place is $1,500. We started 2 weeks ago today. I decided and bought my HCG prior to even knowing about the contest. So I put my money in and joined. I told a couple people about my diet plan and of course I hear nothing but negative comments, thats not enough calories, your going to get sick, your going to gain it all back....blah, blah.......bad idea, so I keep to myself. Mind you, we all work together as Attorneys so you would think the "Highschool" gossip wouldn't exist.....wrong! So first weigh in was today (it started 2 weeks ago with the initial weigh in).....and I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks! Great right?? Yeah, so I get an e-mail about 10 minutes later from the "office gossip" stating that her and 2 other co-workers are not comfortable with me in the contest because I am using "supplemental diet drops" (lol) to make me lose weight and that I am only eating 500 calories a day (which she said I was starving myself) and that it is not fair to anyone else. Really? Jealous much? Because I lost 10 lbs and I am winning on week 2.........not week 12......week 2!
So, I take a few minutes to decide what my response is and I e-mail her back. I simply told her how I choose to diet and how I choose to lose my weight is none of her business and this is a contest where we are all suppose to be supportive, not negative. I told her if she wanted to lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks like I did that I would show her the website....:) And I said that I will not quit the biggest loser....because I will be the biggest loser.....but I guess today was "pick on the biggest loser"

Thank you for listening......I needed to vent!

way to go!!! #1 for doing so well, and #2 for telling them where to go! however you go about doing it is YOUR business. good luck - hope you win:)

Sirenism

And for the peeps that think that people who take supplements to help lose weight dont exercise....you are wrong....its a combo of healthy eating and exercise.

No. I'm not wrong. It's very judgmental of you to say something like that. My friend DOES NOT exercise. She's "lazy". She even says so herself. She openly admits that she'd rather take the easy way out and just take some pills to move the weight along so she doesn't have to do anything.

I said a combo of exercise and supplements.....I never judged anyone!! I exercise everyday......I am not talking about your "friend"....and I am nothing but lazy.......dont compare her to me. And I never said you were wrong.....

The timing of your post could have been better, then again it is the internet. Intentions and meaning come across differently to different people. So I do apologize for the misunderstanding but I truly did feel that your post was directed at me.

dericcarson

Oh the audacity? Really......Because I am following a diet plan? Are you jealous too??

dericcarson

And for the peeps that think that people who take supplements to help lose weight dont exercise....you are wrong....its a combo of healthy eating and exercise.

No. I'm not wrong. It's very judgmental of you to say something like that. My friend DOES NOT exercise. She's "lazy". She even says so herself. She openly admits that she'd rather take the easy way out and just take some pills to move the weight along so she doesn't have to do anything.

No not directed at you......

I said a combo of exercise and supplements.....I never judged anyone!! I exercise everyday......I am not talking about your "friend"....and I am nothing but lazy.......dont compare her to me. And I never said you were wrong.....

The timing of your post could have been better, then again it is the internet. Intentions and meaning come across differently to different people. So I do apologize for the misunderstanding but I truly did feel that your post was directed at me.

cazzincali

Look... the truth is... none of us got fat because we ate right and stayed active. We ALL put more food in our mouths than we should have. We can blame it on anything we want. But the bottom line remains the same. So... we pay the price to take it off... Whether you have jealousy issues or not is something YOU have to deal with... because the person(s) you are jealous OF could care less. I'm not judging... I'm just sayin'. And if it makes you feel better to vent... this is the place to do it. I share MFP with anyone and everyone. Whether they use it or not is their business. I've done my part... I've given them information. It's up to each of us to DO something about our lives and our lifestyles...


Just my 2 cents! :bigsmile:

foreverjade

Holy, I totally know what you are talking about!!

I feel slightly different than what you explained, but I know what you are getting at. I don't feel "jealous" of my friends who want to lose weight, but I do discourage them from doing it because I want to get there first. Now, that sounds TERRIBLE, so I should say that none of my friends are overweight - we are all pretty much the same size or they are smaller than me - so mostly, I figure, since I started first, I would like some time to shine as the skinny friend before they catch up!

To be more explicit in my example, I joined MFP to lose weight for my trip to Thailand, and my friend who I am going with is 5'9" 130 ish pounds. When she found out I was going on a diet, she wanted to too! That made me mildly crazy because part of the reason I am doing it is so that I will feel okay standing next to her... if she gets even SKINNIER that would totally ruin all my effort! So mostly I tell her not to tell me that she is dieting, and tell her to eat more food... ahaha

Sirenism

Edit: *sigh* Obviously this isn't getting us anywhere and is completely off topic.

As for jealousy, I think jealousy is sometimes necessary to help motivate ourselves as we are a very competitive species, just don't let it overtake you and remind yourself at how much you've accomplished.

elid

I'm always happy when I find out someone I know is trying to lose weight. I feel so much better about myself and so much healthier (not to mention I LOOK so much better) now than I ever have in my life... and I'd love it if everyone in the world was this happy.

it's like finding a $100 bill, you wish everyone you knew and loved could have an extra $100 bucks too, but this is mine, go get your own!

The problem with that analogy is that the pursuit of becoming healthier is something that isn't diminished for one person when many other people share it.

shaunarlr83

Thank you all. This is GREAT that is exactly what I mean, it's like finding a $100 bill, you wish everyone you knew and loved could have an extra $100 bucks too, but this is mine, go get your own! lol I usually workout alone at home, somedays my husband joins, he used to be my "trainer" trying to push me to burn more, now he can't even hang half as long as I do.:bigsmile:
[/quote]


Well I guess instead of saying "finding" I should have used the term "work hard for". I tried to stress I was not jealous of these people in general or that they are trying to lose weight, just don't want them to stumble upon MFP and know has easy it can be to work so hard with the right group of friends and support. Yes I did say I am kinda glad when they fail, but I don't mean in the long run, I mean when they think one week of trying will do the job and when it doesn't they give up.... And YESSSSSSS those are the people I am talking about, the ones who buy a DVD and try it out for a week and then eat McDonalds everyday, you have to change everything nearly everyday if you want it and want it too last. I do not judge against people who use supplements for a boost, to each their own. Sorry I opened a can of worms for you two lol! I am glad MOST see my point and feel somewhat the same!!!!!

dericcarson

I posted this a few hours ago......talk about jealous!!

Hi my HCG friends.....hope everyone is doing well! I just need to vent for a few minutes about using HCG in the workplace.

So....we have the "Biggest Loser" Contest going on at work right now. First place is $1,500. We started 2 weeks ago today. I decided and bought my HCG prior to even knowing about the contest. So I put my money in and joined. I told a couple people about my diet plan and of course I hear nothing but negative comments, thats not enough calories, your going to get sick, your going to gain it all back....blah, blah.......bad idea, so I keep to myself. Mind you, we all work together as Attorneys so you would think the "Highschool" gossip wouldn't exist.....wrong! So first weigh in was today (it started 2 weeks ago with the initial weigh in).....and I lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks! Great right?? Yeah, so I get an e-mail about 10 minutes later from the "office gossip" stating that her and 2 other co-workers are not comfortable with me in the contest because I am using "supplemental diet drops" (lol) to make me lose weight and that I am only eating 500 calories a day (which she said I was starving myself) and that it is not fair to anyone else. Really? Jealous much? Because I lost 10 lbs and I am winning on week 2.........not week 12......week 2!
So, I take a few minutes to decide what my response is and I e-mail her back. I simply told her how I choose to diet and how I choose to lose my weight is none of her business and this is a contest where we are all suppose to be supportive, not negative. I told her if she wanted to lose 10 lbs in 2 weeks like I did that I would show her the website....:) And I said that I will not quit the biggest loser....because I will be the biggest loser.....but I guess today was "pick on the biggest loser"

Thank you for listening......I needed to vent!

way to go!!! #1 for doing so well, and #2 for telling them where to go! however you go about doing it is YOUR business. good luck - hope you win:)

Thank you!! I will win....:) And I will be 40 lbs smaller!