The truth come out!!! H..E...L....P

trishana

Ok folks. I'm 36 years old and helping my father deal with his terminal Cancer. Taking care of him daily while having my 10 year old and a full time job.

I have been so focused on my weight. 3 years ago I lost 100 pounds with Adkins and working out.

Now I'm not binging or anything, I'm just not working aout these days.
(For the first time in 5 years).

My mother who is very mean bitter fat women, told me that I have gained so much weight that it's out of control.
I was 187 #and now I'm 191#. Whatever it is, I know that it's to much to weigh!!!

My heart is hurting and I don't want to be one of those people that when friends look at go wow look how much she has gained.
I hope that this mean coment helps me out not hurts me. Right now I just want to cry.

trishana

Ok folks. I'm 36 years old and helping my father deal with his terminal Cancer. Taking care of him daily while having my 10 year old and a full time job.

I have been so focused on my weight. 3 years ago I lost 100 pounds with Adkins and working out.

Now I'm not binging or anything, I'm just not working aout these days.
(For the first time in 5 years).

My mother who is very mean bitter fat women, told me that I have gained so much weight that it's out of control.
I was 187 #and now I'm 191#. Whatever it is, I know that it's to much to weigh!!!

My heart is hurting and I don't want to be one of those people that when friends look at go wow look how much she has gained.
I hope that this mean coment helps me out not hurts me. Right now I just want to cry.

rogers8702

awww im so sorry your sad, hey sometimes life gets in the way, you just do what you need to do to make yourself happy. try to take some time to yourself, you wont be good to your family if your too stresed out.

i hope everything works out for you. keep your chin up :flowerforyou:

Shannon023

Like the bumper sticker says, "Mean People Suck". Sorry you're hurting right now, but you're doing noble work taking care of your father & kid.

You look great in your picture so tell mean mom to stick it! :laugh: :flowerforyou:

shorerider

So you've gained 4 pounds? I've gained more than that from fluid retention, so I don't think someone's comment about that small amount is reason to allow yourself to get so upset.

I don't think anyone's comment about your weight should get to you--don't allow others to define who you are! Often people make comments about us when they feel guilty themselves--by trying to belittle others, they believe they can elevate themselves. And someone who feels the need to drag someone down to make themselves feel better is not worth listening to!



You've come to a place where you can find support, advice, and friends, so you've made a great first step.

Welcome!

AndreaMMil

just throw the comment back out to the universe so you don't become mean, fat and bitter. go take a walk, you'll feel soooo much better.

emtink

screw your mom, you look HOT in your picture! considering the amount stress you're under, gaining only 4 pounds is a huge accomplishment! you should be proud of yourself for that. also, you're an amazing woman for caring for your father. don't let her comment ruin your day or your progress.

em:flowerforyou:

ladywalkalot

Hell...I gain 4lbs in a weekend under normal stress....Keep up the great work--:flowerforyou:

thirteen_geisha

:flowerforyou:

Think about everything you are missing out on if you focus solely on your weight. Oprah fluctuates tremendously, yet she is constantly working to improve her world. America Ferrera, Raven Symone, and Tyra Banks are all strong females who represent healthy bodies and healthy attitudes about themselves. If you want to lose weight for your health, then by all means go for it. But don't ever let anyone tell you what size you should be.

:flowerforyou:

ohthatbambi

Sometimes you wonder why the heck we are so screwed up due to the things that our mothers once said to us. I try so hard to encourage my children without giving them complexes about things. I also try to avoid airing my thoughts about myself out loud b/c I don't ever want them to have the mental and emotional anguish that I have had due to things my mother said to me or said about herself. I love my mom, but she weighs 130 and is 5 foot 4. She is thin and looks great for 61 years old but she is always talking about how fat she is. WHATEVER. I am NOT going to be that person.

In order to make yourself feel better try to start taking a short walk daily. It sounds as if you are way to busy with life to have a rigid exercise schedule, but a nice walk will give you some exercise and possible renew your mind as well.

We ride bikes as a family. Kids don't view it as exercise so we knock out two birds with one stone.

Carrie6o6

Since I was 12 my dad, grandma and grandpa always told me not to eat so much and get some exercise and how I wasn't healthy.. But at that time I wasnt over weight at all! They told me those things for about 8 years. My grandma would give everyone else a candy but not me and say "You dont NEED it" and "No boys like bigger girls..." my grandpa would always tell his doctor how I was SO overweight and asked if it was healthy blah blah and my dad would always tell me "You need to go outside and get some exercise" Being told that all the time made me feel worthless and never good enough for them or anyone. Then resulting in me thinking I was so fat I could lower a car down and I would never do anything or go anywhere with my friends. Then I got pregnant at 17 and gained a HUGE amount of weight. I had graduated from school early and moved out with my husband. I stayed in my house for almost 3 years hiding and gaining weight because I didnt want anyone to see me, to see how fat I was. This year however, I said "You know what? They can think what they want, Im not gonna live my life hiding like this. I want to LIVE and do WHAT I WANT and im not going to care what anyone else thinks, because I wil be having fun!!" So I FINALLY started going out and I saw some of my old friends from school and they had gained more weight than I had! I had 2 kids by then! I decided to start losing weight not for anyone but me. So I have been and it has been awesome!! I talked to my grandma later since I am quite close to her and told her how she hurt me so bad and she said that she didnt realise she was hurting me, she was trying to help me... Same with my dad and grandpa.. but it still really hurt and still does a bit.

So just live for you, dont worry about what others say. If you dont like who you are then change it, but not to please others. Thats what Im doing and now everyone is very supportive.

You can do this! Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Oh yeah, and if you try to live and please others there will ALWAYS be someone who is not satisfied with you for a reason. You cant please everyone. Ive tried haha

kimmy666

just wanna give you a hug :flowerforyou:

Kimlane70

The mean comment will not hurt or help you.......unless you let it. The harsh words are unfortunate for sure, but It's how you will react to it. There are people out there who will always try to put others down to make themselves feel better, and there's nothin you or I can do about those people. You can only control yourself, and just realize that they do not control you or what you put in your mouth. And oh my gosh, 100lbs, that's awesome. Don't let anyone bring you down, girl, you have already done what others only dream about. And if all this advice from everyone on MFP doesn't help, then you just suck it up and PRESS ON. Kim

mrsbeck

Oh, Sweetie, don't let mean, bitter people get to you. That's absolutely awful of her to say that.

As hard as it may be, just let it go in one ear and out the other. Just remember that you are working really hard right now with taking care of your family, and you can't be superwoman. Try to find some time for yourself if at all possible, you can't take care of anyone and everyone if you aren't taking care of you.

tryinagain

I think you are doing a really hard thing caring for your Dad....and you need to cut yourself some slack, and give yourself credit for what you have done, and for what you are doing.
You deserve a hug!